So as I mentioned, this is basically Things I Hate About You with Hobbit characters. It follows the storyline very closely so warning there. There are a few twists obviously and things taken out. There's not going to be any singing or flashing so sorry if you were expecting that.
I really don't own anything ^-^
Hope you like it!
Kili stumbled his way through the crowded hallway. He had just come from the principal's office where he got his schedule. A group of people ran into him, sending him off balance and into another person. Kili looked up to find a tall, darkly dressed boy glaring down at him.
"S-sorry" Kili spluttered.
The boy did nothing but glare at him before stalking down the hall.
Kili let out a sigh of relief. He had no doubt he just escaped a thorough beating.
"You're very lucky."
Kili turned to see a boy standing behind him. The boy was a few inches shorter than Kili with curly brown hair and a kind smile.
"I gathered that." Kili replied.
The boy smiled and held out his hand, "Bilbo Baggins"
Kili smiled and shook the offered hand, "Kili Dison"
"Oh, you're the new guy aren't you?"
Kili nodded, "I just got my schedule from the principal."
"Well, then allow me to be your guide."
"That would be greatly appreciated."
"But of course." Bilbo led Kili out into the courtyard.
"So who was that guy I ran into?" Kili asked.
"Bard Bowman. You want to stay away from him. Rumor has it he once killed a man with his bare hands. They couldn't pin it on him but he did spend a year in jail for setting a house on fire."
Kili gulped.
Bilbo nodded, "I have also heard that he eats stray cats and dogs."
"And he goes to our school!?"
"Which is why everyone stays away from him." Bilbo gave him a pointed look.
"Duly noted."
"Now, this is high school so you will find your regular clicks. Your cool kids, future drop-outs, nerds, and so on. Usual high school things, I'm sure you know all about it." Bilbo rambled on but Kili stopped listening. He was too busy watching the beautiful creature walking towards him. She was tall, probably a good head taller than him, with long auburn hair pulled back into an intricate braid. She was flawless in Kili's eyes. Dainty, as all women should be – except maybe his mother, nothing dainty about her. His knees grew weak when she walked by, her sweet perfume tickling his nose.
"Oh no, avert your eyes my young friend. She is way out of your league." Bilbo chuckled. "That's Tauriel Greenleaf. She's a sophomore. Not exactly the brightest lightbulb, but I guess if you like rich girls she would be alright."
"She's as bright as a star, beautiful in every way." Kili replied dreamily.
"Right" Bilbo replied incredulously. "Anyway, it doesn't even matter. It's a widely known fact that she and her brother aren't allowed to date."
"Really?"
"Incredibly uptight father. Rich folk" Bilbo snorted. "Probably thinks they're too good for us."
The bell rang shrilly, alerting everyone to start their day. "Come on, I'll show you to your first class."
/
Thranduil pulled up to Middle Earth High in his silver Audi. His best friend Thorin stood at the front entrance, waiting for him.
"Bout time you got here Princess." Thorin grumbled.
"If you hate waiting so much, why not go to class already? Or do you need something to complain about?" Thranduil asked.
Thorin rolled his eyes, "There are plenty of things to complain about. Your tardiness is the least of my worries."
"I am far from late. The first bell has yet to ring."
The two walk into the school and immediately people part ways and stop talking until the two were out of hearing range. They made it to their class without issue.
As the bell rang, the class filed into the room. Smaug, the school's most desirable boy, sauntered in and took his usual seat near the back. He was tall with black and red hair and bright amber eyes. His smile could send both men and women to their knees.
"Alright class, settle down." Their teacher said. "Now, I hope you all did the reading."
"I did" Smaug raised his hand. "I thought it was very thought provoking."
"Is that your opinion or just what Spark-Notes told you?" Thranduil asked.
The class snickered. The teacher rolled his eyes, "Thranduil please, not today."
Thranduil's eyes narrowed, "Are you implying something?"
"Someone's on their period" Smaug smirked.
Thorin made to get out of his seat but Thranduil held him down.
"Alright, alright everyone settle down. Thranduil, go to Principal Gandalf's office." The teacher said.
"What, why?"
"For disrupting the class now go." He waved him out, ignoring Thranduil's protests.
Thranduil growled and gathered his things. "If I'm already going then I might as well deserve it." He said. He turned to Smaug and slapped him in the face. Smaug fell out of his desk, a hand covering his red cheek.
"Bastard!" Smaug called out but Thranduil had already left the room.
/
Gandalf sat at his desk, the seventh Harry Potter book in front of him. Dobby had come to save the trio at Malfoy Manor, they were about to escape when he was interrupted by Thranduil. The teen walked in and gracefully lowered himself into the seat across from him.
"Ah Thranduil, I hear that you have been causing trouble again."
"I merely made a comment about a student, nothing more. I don't know why I am even here." Thranduil huffed.
Gandalf chuckled, "Well, slapping a student will get you a lot of things; mainly, a visit with me."
Thranduil rolled his eyes, "He deserved it. If I was going to come here I might as well do something to justify the visit."
Gandalf frowned, "You need to learn to get along with your peers. You are not above them."
"Most everyone at this school is a moron just waiting to pollute the world with their stupidity."
"Alright," Gandalf sighed, "I see there is no getting through to you. Off you go."
Thranduil smirked and stood up. "By the way, Dobby dies at the end of that chapter." With that, Thranduil exited the office leaving Gandalf gaping after him.
/
Kili met up with Bilbo once school got out. He looked around the parking lot for Tauriel but he couldn't see her.
"You're not looking for Tauriel are you?" Bilbo asked.
"And if I am?"
Bilbo sighed, "You don't have a chance with her. Even if she were allowed to date, she is way out of your league."
Kili finally spotted Tauriel getting into a guy's car, driving off with a happy shriek. "Who was that?"
"Smaug. Most popular guy in school and every girl wants him. Even some guys." Bilbo provided.
Kili groaned, "How can I compete with someone who looks like that?"
"You can't" Bilbo replied helpfully. Kili glared at the smaller boy.
A honk interrupted them. They turned to see a silver Audi behind them and two boys glaring at them from the inside. The driver rolled his window down and leaned out, "Would you mind being stupid elsewhere? Get out of the way before I run you over."
The two scrambled out of the way, allowing the car to pass.
"Who was that?" Kili asked.
"Thranduil Greenleaf. Tauriel's older brother." Bilbo replied.
"That's her brother?"
Bilbo nodded, "Terrifying guy. Will beat up anyone who dares annoy him. Sent a boy to the hospital last year. Best to stay well clear of him."
"How is someone like that related to someone as perfect as Tauriel?"
Bilbo rolled his eyes, "You really need to move on my friend. Your chances of getting a date with her are the same as someone going out with Thranduil, pretty much impossible."
/
Thranduil pulled into the garage after dropping Thorin off at his house. His sister was already home if the blasting music was anything to go by. Thranduil grabbed the mail and walked inside only to have a blonde blur crash into his legs. He laughed and dropped his bag and the mail by the door, pulling the young boy into his arms he asked, "Hello Little Leaf. How are you?"
"Great!"
"I see Legolas has found you."
Thranduil turned to see his father, Oropher, walking into the room. "He should learn to leave you until you have put your things away." He looked pointedly at the mess left by the door.
Thranduil smiled and kissed his little brother's cheek messily. The little boy shrieked with laughter, batting Thranduil's face away. "What better welcome than my little brother?"
Oropher shook his head in fond exasperation and grabbed the pile of envelopes.
Tauriel chose that moment to come down. "Father, can I go out with a friend Friday night?"
Oropher looked suspicious, "What friend?"
"Oh, just a guy friend." She shrugged, "No one special"
"No" Oropher replied.
"But Father please. I am the only girl at school who has never been on a date before. It is ruining my reputation!" Tauriel whined.
"Reputation is not everything Tauriel. You shouldn't care about what other people think of you."
Tauriel huffed, sitting on the couch next to her brothers.
Oropher sorted through the mail, "What is this? Something from New York University?"
Thranduil quickly snatched the envelope and opened it. "Oh, I got in!" He cheered. "I can't believe it!"
"Thranduil? Why do you have an acceptance letter from NYU?" Oropher asked.
"Because I applied there." He replied.
"I thought we agreed that you would go to Stanford. You need a good business school if you want to run the company someday."
Thranduil rolled his eyes, "NYU is a perfectly good school for business. They also have a good Arts program and it is close enough to home so I don't have to live in a dorm."
Oropher frowned, "You should have told me Thranduil. This is something we have to talk about."
"Yes Thranduil, we shouldn't keep secrets from Father." Tauriel smirked.
Thranduil glared at his sister, "If that is how you feel, why don't you tell Father who drove you home today?"
Oropher's stern gaze turned to his daughter. "Tauriel?"
Tauriel's shoulders hunched in, her eyes on the floor, "It was just a guy being nice. Nothing happened."
"Does this guy happen to be the same guy you want to go out with this Friday?"
"Maybe?"
"No"
"But Father!"
"No Tauriel. You know the rule, no dating until you graduate."
"Father that is so unfair" Tauriel whined.
"I will not have some teenage, hormone-induced boy soiling my little girl. Either of my children." He said.
Tauriel groaned, "I'm probably the only person in the entire school who isn't dating someone!"
Thranduil snorted.
"That's not true, your brother isn't dating anyone."
"Nor do I plan to. A bunch of pathetic and disgusting creatures in my opinion."
"You're psychotic!" Tauriel exclaimed.
"And you're a drama queen." Thranduil replied.
"Hey" Oropher said. The two calmed and looked back at him, "Okay, here is how we are going to solve this. The new rule is that Tauriel can date-"
"Yes!" She cheered.
"When Thranduil does." Oropher finished.
"WHAT!" She shrieked.
Oropher smiled, "That's the rule."
"But he's a cold-hearted freak, what if he never dates?"
"Then you shall never date." Oropher replied smugly.
"That's totally unfair!"
Oropher shrugged, "Not my problem. That is the new rule and I expect you to stick with it. Now I must be off, I have a meeting. Behave"
"Father!" Tauriel called, but the man was already out of the house.
Thranduil sighed and carried Legolas upstairs. Tauriel chased after him, "Can't you just get some loser to go out with you so I can go on one date?
"Oh so the Great Smaug can have his way with you? I think not"
"Ugh, you're a monster" She stomped out.
Thranduil shook his head and turned to the boy in his arms, "I hope you are smarter than your sister when you grow up."
Legolas giggled, "Can we play now?"
"Alright, let's go play." Thranduil smiled and walked to Legolas' play room.
Review please!