"Those who wait lose out"

Summary: Whoever said "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" was a fucking idiot. Roughly covers eps 65-73

Pairing: onesided Sawamura/Miyuki; Chrisawa

Miyuki wasn't sure when it started. Maybe it was from the first time he saw that unusual pitching style, or maybe it was seeing the determination day-in and day-out, but the end result was unmistakable.

He was in love with Sawamura Eijun.

The dumb, brainless pitcher of the Seido team had turned around and caught Miyuki's heart. It was stupid really. He didn't have time to worry about this sort of thing. He was the captain of the team, the first-string catcher, and the clean-up batter – he had enough on his plate without adding romantic feelings into the mix.

However, he couldn't really stay away. It was like Sawamura had this far reaching orbit around him that just drew everyone in without them realizing it. From day one he made a name for himself – regardless that it was usually that he was too noisy. Soon the Seido team seemed to revolve around the pitcher and the most frustrating, yet endearing part was that Sawamura himself didn't realize the kind of pull he had on the rest of the team.

Miyuki could tell that some of the juniors were jealous at how easy Sawamura fit in and was accepted by the old seniors. Even the previous captain, Yuuki, seemed to have cared for the boy. (At least enough to play shogi with him)

Miyuki could tell that he wasn't the only one drawn in. Sometimes he wondered just how close Sawamura and Haruichi really were, or if Kuramochi really was that violent with his roommate or did he just use it as an excuse to touch the southpaw pitcher.

And then Miyuki recalled Kuramochi saying something about a girl named Wakana who was supposedly Sawamura's girlfriend – regardless of how often the brown-haired boy denied it. Not to mention that Miyuki caught the glances their manager Haruno threw at the boy. This crush he had on Sawamura was getting more and more ridiculous by the day. Heck, even Jun-senpai would look out for the little brat and he noticed how they would share shojo manga in dark recesses of the school.

Having romantic feelings for the idiot was really cramping his style. He really couldn't deal with caring about the idiot in a romantic way and having to take care of him as a pitcher – and having so many romantic rivals made Miyuki more irritable than he thought. It was probably all in his head though. He just needed to calm down and think on it carefully – but it was so hard to do after seeing Furuya and Sawamura get into another one-sided shouting match where the boys were standing just a little too close to one another, or when Kanemaru would keep an eye on the pitcher and make sure he was eating properly and keeping up with his studies.

Seriously – where had all these rivals appeared from?!

But it wasn't like he wanted to actually date the idiot – he just didn't want anyone else to do it either. It might sound selfish of him, but if Sawamura could hold out and just wait until the Fall Tournament was over then Miyuki might say something. As it stood, there were too many shifts in the current team, their batting line-up was weak, and he was just announced as captain with no real idea in how to lead. This, of course, on top of the fact that Sawamura was having difficulties pitching lately.

Miyuki had an idea what was going on for a while but it wasn't until the game with Yakushi that the problem was glaringly obvious.

Sawamura had the yips.

The pitch he gave at the Inashiro game had been plaguing the pitchers' mind and Miyuki had to admit that his constant nagging at Sawamura had not helped the southpaw at all. There was just no way to know what was going on in that simple mind of his. Everyone on the team could tell that something was going on yet no one could pinpoint the difference. Being called a relieve pitcher by the coach seemed to be the nail in the coffin. Seeing his rival perform almost seamlessly before his eyes was hard enough, but when you give off 4 runs in a game and constant walks because of balls, there was no wonder the boy shattered.

It was hard to see Sawamura so defeated. His eyes were lifeless and it seemed as his body just went by the motions. It wasn't long until everyone found out about his yips. He wasn't sure if it was good or not. On one hand the team was giving Sawamura a large berth, letting the teen recover on his own; on the other hand it seemed to be isolating him further. He would still do his leg training and seemed to still be hanging out with Haruichi but everything else seemed to be so wrong.

After their poor performance at past scrimmages Miyuki could tell that having the loud-mouth pitcher actually quiet for once was putting a damper on their practices as well. Miyuki knew that the coach counted on Sawamura to maintain and increase morale, especially in pinch situations during games, but the idiot wasn't able to do that either. He would keep his replies to one word answers and would lifelessly carry on.

It was worrying as it was maddening.

The final straw for Miyuki was when Kuramochi confronted him in class. Couldn't that wrestling moron realize that he had already noticed this problem and wanted to fix it?! He didn't really want to voice his thoughts on the matter but the other second year was persistent in dragging it out of him. The only thing was that Kuramochi didn't realize just how much it hurt him to see the normally sunny boy so downtrodden and not be able to do anything to help.

Miyuki knew there was one thing that he could do to help out Sawamura but he was loathed to do it. It was several sleepless nights later that he finally caved and decided that this was not the time to be selfish. If he really wanted to win the Fall Tournament, and he did, there was only one thing left to do.

He had to enlist the help of his biggest rival.

After visiting Chris-senpai's room he felt both lighter and heavier. He had faith that Chris-senpai would be able to help Sawamura in a way that he couldn't but he also knew that he had just given Chris a big win for Sawamura's heart.

It didn't help that he also admired Chris-senpai and no matter what he could never harbor ill will toward his senior.

Chris seemed to work fast. It wasn't even an hour after Miyuki had met up with the other teen that he caught him and Sawamura already working together.

Miyuki could only stare despondently as he saw Sawamura smile genuinely after the longest time and all he needed was to just see Chris-senpai. It was maddening, but deep down Miyuki was also glad for it. He was happy to know that somehow Sawamura was going to be alright. He wished desperately that he could be the one to bring that smile back on his face, could be the one to lift his spirits and get him over his yips – in the end this was all he was able to do. Chris-senpai and Sawamura had been a battery for a long time so it made sense that they would be so comfortable with one another.

Miyuki looked on at their practice with longing eyes. He wished so hard he could be in there, could be the one fixing Sawamura's stance, maybe cop a feel just to see how the freshman would react. He just wanted to hear that loud, endearing voice call his full name, have Sawamura grasp his shirt and shake him in his blustering anger and maybe Miyuki would sneak in a kiss – confess to the idiot that way. Maybe Sawamura would get over his yips after some helpful words Miyuki would say and in his thanks would jump into his arms and shamelessly kiss him instead.

Scenario after scenario played in Miyuki's head but the reality was that none of those things were going to happen.

Instead he saw the way Chris-senpai would talk softly and encouragingly to Sawamura. How the older teen would catch any pitch the first year would throw. Slowly the dead eyes were fading away and a new light was entering those golden orbs.

Reality was that as soon as Sawamura threw his first successful inside-pitch a smile so wide stretched across his face that it seemed to light up the whole room.

Reality was that Chris-senpai stood up from his catcher's crouch and walked over to the beaming Sawamura.

The faint 'nice pitch' was so easily heard to Miyuki's ears that Chris-senpai might as well have shouted it to the sky.

Reality was that Chris-senpai leaned over, grabbed Sawamura's shoulders and kissed him.

Miyuki had to be a masochist. There was just no other explanation as to why he stayed rooted to the spot and saw the rest of this love confession play out. Just his luck that this is the one time Sawamura could actually speak at decent human levels. It was impossible to make out what they were saying, but the saying 'actions speak louder than words' had never been as true as in that moment.

Sawamura's face might have been bright before but after that kiss and possible confession from Chris-senpai it seemed as if his face was as bright as the sun itself. His face looked flushed in pleasure and happiness, a blush adorning his cheeks and he seemed awfully shy all of a sudden.

Something dark and dangerous invaded Miyuki then. This is what he had given up for baseball and for his team. This was something he was never going to be able to have. Suddenly winning the Fall Tournament didn't seem as important. He wished that he could go back in time and choose that shy smile and rosy cheeks instead. Maybe then he wouldn't be feeling so cold.

"Yo, Miyuki – what are you doing out here so late?" a voice called out behind him.

"Oh nothing much," Miyuki answered, his voice brittle and dark.

"Huh? Is that Sawamura and Chris-senpai?" asked Kuramochi as he made his way over. "Looks like Sawamura will be alright after all," he commented after seeing an almost visible glow emit from the southpaw pitcher.

"Yeah, seems he'll be alright," said Miyuki as he turned away from the door.

He'll be alright – with Chris.

End.

First daiya no ace fic; please share your thoughts.