AN: I know, I know, you're probably thinking 'why the hell is she starting another story when she hasn't finished her other ones?' And my only answer to that is…I have no idea, and I'm sorry, but this idea has been nagging me for weeks. To all of you who read my other stories I promise that updates are on that way. I even have a new chapter of 'Reflection' already written but I'm not completely happy with it, so I will tweak it and have it up within the next few days. On another note I just handed in my last bit of coursework EVER for my university course so now I'm completely free to write for a while and hopefully update my other stories. Thanks so much for sticking with me over the years, I know that sometimes I'm not the most reliable updater. Anyway, enough of me rambling, and I hope you enjoy this new story. Here we go…

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I checked my face in the mirror to make sure my make-up wasn't smudged. Reaching into the new Marc Jacobs bag that Dan had given me on my birthday, I pulled out my new red lipstick. In the shop the lipstick had seemed to personify the new me; bold, classy and elegant but as I applied it to my lips it seemed too bright and garish in comparison to the drab grey tiles on the toilet walls. It made me look out of place. I missed New York already.

"Mom?" I glanced down, "I'm tired. Can we go home now?"

I wished.

"We're here for the wedding remember?" Curtis just looked at me in confusion. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. He was used to me being calm and collected. My frazzled state was probably just confusing him even more.

Hastily wiping the lipstick from my lips I smiled at myself in the mirror; a fake, practised smile, before taking Curtis's hand in mine and striding out of the toilets. My palms were unnaturally sweaty and the sound of my heels sounded too loud in the corridor leading to the Arrivals Lounge. My stomach was in knots. Once again I reached into my bag to get my phone. I just needed to hear Dan's voice, just once, or else I knew I would turn around and get on the next flight out.

"Just a second honey." Curtis hung his head and I watched with a frown as he shuffled over to a nearby seating area. He hadn't slept during the whole flight. We both needed sleep desperately.

"Dan? Hi. I-" I leant against the nearby wall for support as I spoke into my phone. Curtis looked up at the mention of Dan's name. An old couple glanced at me as they walked quickly towards the Arrivals lounge; they were probably judging how young I was.

"Grace? Is everything alright?" I could hear the familiar sounds of his office in the background. It was always busy, always loud and yet, Dan still seemed to command the attention of the room without even blinking. It was one of the things I loved about him.

"I'm fine," I really wasn't, but I didn't want him to think I was weak, "I just needed to hear your voice." I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth.

There was a moment of silence. Not long enough to feel awkward, but it meant that he was thinking of something to say. My head was beginning to hurt. I needed some fresh air.

"Look Grace…I'm heading to a meeting just now," I could hear the sigh in his voice, "I could cancel but it's some very important clients and I-"

"No. No. Don't cancel," I spoke quickly, pushing myself off of the wall and walking determinedly towards Curtis, "I'm sorry I bothered you."

"You never bother me," he lied. I could hear someone laughing on his end of the line. He was probably leaning back in his cushioned chair looking out at the city while Erin, his assistant, bent over and put something on his desk giving him a perfect view of her cleavage. I felt a little sick.

"I hope your meeting goes well," He was silent, "I left some lasagne in the fridge for you."

"Enjoy your trip," He didn't even say thank you, "I will take you out for sushi when you get back, and then we can have a night in. How does that sound?"

"It sounds fabulous. I-"

"Say hello to your cousin Kiera for me."

"It's Kim," I tried to say, but he had already hung up. Glancing down at the ring on my finger, I twisted it once before taking a deep breath and reaching down to grab Curtis's hand once again.

"Are you okay Mommy?" His voice was quiet, as if he was scared that he was going to upset me. I had been a wreck for the entire plane journey, not exactly model parent behaviour. I tried to smile down at him.

"I'm just really tired," I tried to assure him, "As soon as we get to Aunt Kim's house, I will read you a story and we can sleep. How does that sound?"

"Will you stay in the same room as me?"

"You know Dan wants you to be a big boy now. Big boys sleep in their own room," I reminded him as we walked slowly towards the arrivals lounge; I was trying to delay the inevitable.

"Dan isn't here." I tried not to smirk. He was absolutely right. One night wouldn't hurt.

"Okay then," I pretended to shrug my shoulders, "We can cosy up on the single bed. You better give me lots of cuddles, and not steal all of the duvet."

Curtis just smiled. My eyes zeroed in on the missing gap in his teeth. It was so endearing. My heart clenched tightly. He was my whole world.

"Can we get some chocolate ice cream too?"

"Don't push it mister," I reached down to ruffle his curls, but my heart wasn't quite in it. I felt a little sick as I pushed open the doors leading to the Arrivals Lounge. Everything was going to be okay I told myself. It was only a brief visit.

The last time I had been in the airport, I had vowed never to return and yet I found myself once again scanning the familiar room for any sign of Kim. Everything I had achieved since last leaving La Push, had taken me further and further away from the place I had once called home. The mere thought of even spending four weeks in the place where I was born gave me the shivers. I hated La Push; I hated the people, I hated the town. It was my own personal hell.

"Grace?" I didn't even have time to prepare myself before someone barrelled into my side and pulled me into a tight hug. I felt like there was no air reaching my lungs, the room was so hot. I had almost forgotten about the lack of personal space I had always received in La Push. Almost.

"Kim?"

She hadn't changed a bit. Of course she was older, had a few more curves, but instantly my eyes noted the tiny, ripped shorts and tank top she wore, that she had always worn. Her hair was piled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck and I could barely make out the red colour of her converse beneath the layer of sand and dirt that seemed to stick to them. She hadn't changed one, single bit. The thought depressed me slightly, and failed to give me hope for the rest of the trip.

"Grace? Is that really you?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes as she placed her hands on my shoulders and stepped back to get another look. She seemed to be drinking in every inch of the new me. The dyed blonde hair, the acrylic nails, the tight blazer and skinny jeans. She physically gasped when her eyes reached my new red, stiletto high heels. It was hard being a tiny person in New York, I had to get myself noticed somehow. I definitely wasn't the chubby, sweatshirt loving girl who had left La Push years previously, she was buried somewhere far, far away and would never be making a reappearance.

"Yeah," I took a cautious step back, "It's really me."

"You look amazing." I breathed a sigh of relief at her words. I had made myself even more perfect than normal. I wanted the new me to be the person Kim would think about when I returned home, not the old me. I wanted to prove to everyone that I had become someone, that unlike the majority of La Push, I had got out and got my own life.

"And who's this little guy?" I looked down to see Curtis hiding behind my legs. His eyes were unusually wide as he gazed up at Kim. He didn't cope well with strangers, never had. Dan said I coddled him too much, which was probably true, but I didn't trust people around him.

"This is my son," Kim's eyes snapped back up to meet mine instantly, "His name is Curtis."

"What the-" Kim began, but I interrupted her before she had the chance to curse. Placing my hand gently on Curtis's back, I pushed him forward a little.

"This is Aunt Kim," I bent down to his level so he could hear me, "She's a friend. We like her."

"We do?" Kim was silently watching our exchange. She looked as though she was ready to explode.

"We do," I assured him, "Say hi."

My feet were beginning to kill me in my new shoes, and I could feel men looking at me as they passed. I wanted to get the hell out of the airport immediately, even if that meant going back to La Push. I had been in the country less than an hour, and I already felt cheap and dirty.

"Hi." Curtis stuck his hand out the way Dan had taught him. He looked up at me for reassurance and I smiled, a genuine smile, in return. He always surprised me. Kim looked at his tiny hand and then back at me before bending down as I had done moments earlier and shaking his hand. Curtis grinned, actually grinned.

"Curtis, would you like to go for a McDonalds on the way home since we're in the city?" Curtis's face lit up like he had just won the lottery as Kim spoke. Inwardly, I groaned; another secret I would have to keep from Dan. I hoped there wouldn't be any more to add to the list.

"Can I really get a McDonalds Mommy? Please?" He had ran back to grab onto my leg. Kim was shifting from foot to foot as if she couldn't stay still. Her eyes were narrowed.

"Okay," I lifted him up into my arms, trying not to wobble in my heels, "But it's our little secret, okay?"

"Okay."

XXXXXXX

"A son?" Kim hissed, "Really? A son?"

I glanced behind me to find Curtis fast asleep in the back seat. He had a ketchup smear on his right cheek, but he had a smile on his face and as long as he was happy, I was happy.

"Kim, I really don't want to talk about this."

"Tough," she tightened her grip on the steering wheel as she stopped at a red light; "You have a son? A living, breathing son that you forgot to tell me about?"

"I didn't forget," I glanced down at my nails, "I just didn't tell you."

"We email every damn week. You talk about Dan, your job, the countless wonders of New York. But never once did you mention Curtis."

I stayed silent. The closer we got to La Push, the more anxious I became. I had made a massive mistake in coming home.

"How old is he?"

"I don't see how that matters," I murmured. Curtis shifted in his sleep. I kept my eyes on him, scared that if I blinked he would disappear before my eyes. When he had first been born I had refused to let even the nurses near me in case they took him away from me, in case they decided that I was incapable of being a mother.

"How old is he?" Kim repeated, her voice stern. She was never giving up. When I was younger I had admired her persistence, but it was beginning to get more than a little annoying as we matured.

"Four and half."

I could see her attempting to do the maths in her head. I had left La Push almost exactly five years ago to that day. Her eyes widened once again and I tried not to flinch.

"Who's the father?"

"He doesn't matter." He really didn't. I never wanted to think about him again. The mere thought of even bumping into him while I was home made me want to throw up. There was a reason I had stayed so far away for so long.

"Does he know about him?" I watched as her eyes landed on Curtis in the rear-view mirror; they softened slightly. I knew she was upset, I didn't blame her.

"No."

"Okay," Kim reached out to put her hand on my arm but reflexively I pulled away, "Do I know him?"

I focused on the road in front of us.

"I said I don't want to talk about it." I tried to make my voice strong. It was the same voice I used when I had to deliver a presentation to clients. It was the same voice that I used when I spoke to Dan. My strong voice masked the feelings that were swirling in the pit of my stomach, threatening to destroy my calm facade.

"What are you going to do when he starts asking who is Dad is?" Kim's bracelets jingled on her arm as we turned a corner. The smell of McDonalds in the car was making me feel sick. I rolled down the window. It was too damn hot.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I repeated.

"That's not what I asked;" Kim's eyes were on Curtis once again, "What are you going to tell him?"

"He has a Dad," I muttered, "Dan is his Dad. He's everything I could ever have wished for, and he loves Curtis like he's his own." Most of the time.

The tension seemed to crackle between us.

"Shit. This is crazy," Kim breathed eventually, "You do realise this messes up all my wedding plans?"

"I can just go back to New York if it's so much of a problem?"

Kim narrowed her eyes at me, her grip on the steering wheel tightening even more.

"Don't you even think about it," she hissed, "This isn't just about you anymore Grace. This is about..." her eyes darted to the back seat as she looked for the right words, "This is about my nephew, about our family. I want everything to go back to normal."

"Nothing is normal about our family."

"That is so not true."

I just rolled my eyes. The passing scenery was getting more recognisable by the second. My hands itched to grab Curtis and make my escape before it was too late, before everything and everyone I had tried so hard to forget reappeared.

"We make fajitas on a Friday night," Kim tried, "And we fight, and laugh. Just like any other normal family."

I managed a weak laugh at Kim's attempt to make me feel better. Once upon a time we had been joined at the hip, she would have known what I was thinking with just a single glance. At times, especially in New York, I had missed her company, her guidance. However, then I forced myself to remember that it was the people closest to you that hurt you; whether they meant to or not. Although Kim and I had kept in contact over the years, there had been a line that we had never crossed - we never spoke of why I left. Emailing was easier, but sitting beside her in her car, watching as her eyes continued to flit between me and Curtis, I worried that the walls I had tried so hard to build around me would come crumbling down if she probed them too hard.

And I was terrified.

"We're almost there."

My eyes clamped shut without warning. I didn't want to see the town square, or the park, or my favourite bookshop. I especially didn't want to see the ice cream shop, or his house. It still hurt so damn much.

"I know," I muttered keeping my eyes closed.

The truck continued to bump along the old roads. I never thought I would say it; but I missed the subway - I missed the impersonal nature, how nobody felt the need to make awkward small talk, and nobody knew anyone. New York was everything that La Push wasn't, and that was why I had run there in the first place. It was easy to go unnoticed in a big city, and it was impossible to go unnoticed in La Push.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my new skinny jeans. My eyes stayed firmly shut, but I could feel Kim's burning stare on the side of my head. I wished she would pay more attention to the windy roads, than my emotional state. Her driving had always been somewhat out of control. I remembered briefly when she had first gotten her license and driven straight into Uncle Matt's garage. He had made her mow his lawn for the next year, and paint his new fence. It had been hilarious.

"Mommy? Are you alright?"

My eyes immediately snapped open at the sound of Curtis's tiny voice. He was too quiet; it worried me. Dan said I needed to organise playdates with other boys; but they all seemed so much bigger than Curtis. He was just so small and soft in my eyes, and I was scared they would hurt him. I couldn't bare it if anyone hurt Curtis. I had been hurt enough for the both of us.

"I'm great honey," I plastered a bright smile on my face as I turned to face him, "Are you okay?"

"I need to go the bathroom," Curtis voice quietened even more as he looked between Kim and I.

"Aunt Kim's house is just round the corner. Can you wait until then?"

"Yes Mommy," he smiled. I reached for his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, focusing on his face rather than the car's immediate surroundings. I had to be strong for him. Everything I did was for him.

"We're going to have so much fun," Kim's excitement sounded too forced, "And I made brownies before I came to pick you up to welcome you and your Mom." My stomach growled at the thought of Kim's brownies, but I made myself turn to glare at her.

"Would you stop trying to feed him sugar?" I muttered under my breath.

"A little sugar never harmed anyone."

"Well, it certainly harmed you."

Kim just childishly stuck her tongue out at me and stepped on the gas. Curtis shot me a questioning look, which I ignored. Things were just about to get a lot more complicated, and I was definitely not ready for it.

Thoughts?