He's nine, and bitter as hell because she's beautiful. His black hair tosses slightly in the wind and he can smell the fresh aroma of leaves, can almost taste it on his tongue. The ache in his chest takes over all his senses though, making everything too numb to think about the peaceful scent of home. The burning hole in his chest though, the sensation of that, hasn't abated since her clock hit zero on some mission, which just pisses him off. Why should he have to deal with this? Some nameless shinobi doesn't deserve brown eyes and purple markings. Some nameless enemy shinobi doesn't deserve Rin.

Realistically speaking, Obito has known she wasn't his, known for as long as he's known her. It wouldn't make sense if Obito's clock is still running even after he's met her. He doesn't even know how long it will take anymore, he's tried not to have even a passing glance at his clock ever since Rin threw him his own entrance ceremony. Not even his soulmate could be that supportive, Obito knows that Rin is special and doesn't mind that he shows up late to all his set meetings. Rin is nice, and Obito doesn't need an unsupportive soulmate who looks down on him like Obito knows they will. All the village does except the old people and Obito doesn't want an old person. Neither does Obito want some stupid soulmate.

And neither should Rin.

He's happy for her because he knows Rin is happy and that's really all it should take. But really, he was there when her clock hit zero, the whole class was. Just some pre-genin on a class trip to the border patrol, where many of them would be assigned with their Jounin sensei's stationed there. It was a small skirmish, nothing really, Obito even hit some rock-nin with his Kunai. Still, there was a pause in the battle when Rin's clock hit zero, locking eyes with an enemy nin before the call of a retreat.

Honestly, Obito isn't even sure which side called the retreat, all he knows is sitting in the barrack with the other kids inanly chatting while Rin's fingers hover over the watch on her wrist. The bold numbers declare 00:00:00, and for her sake he wished they didn't. (For his sake too, he won't admit).
As much as Rin knows Obito, Obito knows Rin and he can see her at home while her Mom chops up veggies for dinner. He can see them gushing about what her soulmate absolutely must be into, while her Dad tries to make sure none of the food burns. He was invited too, to celebrate, but with a sinking feeling of wanting to cry, Obito doesn't think he wants to listen about how Rin never realized how perfect an enemy's eyes could possibly be.

Instead he's alone, just like he was before Rin, and he looks out over the village over the Nidaime's head. All the shinobi, civilians, and children, but still Obito feels like he stands alone.

A little bit of rock shuffles inside his shoes and he feels dehydrated, he's still a kid so being uncomfortable can lead to big frustrations. He knows that he's over reacting but he's worked so hard for Rin's affections, for anyone's really. The thought that some kid could take it all away leaves a bad taste in his mouth and makes his nose tingle in a way that lets him know he might cry. Obito doesn't care, he doesn't in the slightest.

If he feels tears prick his eyes then all he does is pull down his goggles so it won't be noticeable. Another bought of frustration and resentment hits with the wash of tears,, his muscles tense and the heat doesn't help. The wave of frustration needs an outlet and Obito just wants to punch something. No matter how childish it is he doesn't care, just lifts his foot and stomps it like an animal about to stampede. The rock in his sandal digs into his foot and it just feels like Rin's soulmate come back to make his life miserable about everything.

It's stupid, just like everything else he's seem to do lately but there is no thought, no tough decision for Obito to determine his resolution and even less time to rip his watch off his wrist. It does take time to let it go though.

Unlike Rin, Obito has actively avoided his watch for years now and when he accidentally glances at it, well Obito has gotten good at forgetting what he sees. It's tempting to just look, a sort of vindication that says 'I've got a soulmate too, I don't need Rin' but he knows with or without a soul mate, he needs her. He's positioned himself for a good throw, into the forest to avoid anyone, but still far enough to crack it because despite all his shortcomings Obito is still a shinobi and all the drills have been burned into his brain. The muscle at his shoulder begins to ache like his heart, a faint burn that tells him to put his hand down.

His eyes burn more. Despite the blurry vision through tears and glasses, it doesn't take much effort to follow through with a soaring arc. He vaguely watches it drop down before stomping his left foot again. He turns on his heel and begins to storm away before dropping to the ground. Obito's hands pound the dirt, feeling pieces of gravel stick to the sides of his sweaty fist and just pounds harder. He has so much anger right now and nowhere to direct it.

That night he got Katon: Gokakyu jutsu, it burned his hands and scorched the ground but it felt like the turmoil in him blazed brighter.

He has to wear long sleeves for a week so that no one will notice. His wrists are covered at all times, even when he feels miserable with heat because he knows his misery will only grow if someone notices. Watches are breakable and with some shinobi lifestyles, are easily gone, but Obito has no excuse for this one.

Rin seems to float around, like she can't even comprehend the she might even have to kill her soul mate for the village that she's prancing through right now. Obito wants to tell her, wants to break her with the realization. But he also likes the way she smiles. Obito likes Rin.

He skips for three days because it's just too much, but it seems like the teachers understand and even a few kids, except for Rin who seems confused. She knows his determination, knows how he applies himself, but Obito doesn't have the energy to explain. Not to her.

It takes a week for him to regret it, it was like he threw away his soul mate because of some girl. Obito knows that Rin will never be some girl but soul mates are so important, all he has to do is look at Rin's eyes to know this. They sparkle in a different way now, as if she's changed from only one meeting with her "mystery man".

It only takes one week for a vague recollection of where he threw it away to be branded in his mind. He already missed those three days of class so instead he impatiently waits for the weekend, leg bouncing in irritation for the final seconds of the academy to end. Some kids have their faces in their palms, trying to get in their studies before the weekend begins and their parents utilize the time they have at home to force them into chores.

His leg bounces up and hits the chair again, what few books he has in his arms and waiting, waiting waiting. Sensei rarely called out a dismissal before Obito is out the door like Futon is at his heels. He hears a voice echo after him, sounding like both his Sensei and Rin are trying to chase him down and he knows why.

Sensei, he is pretty sure wants to confirm why he's been absent, try to comfort him perhaps in an awkward conversation. Rin though, is getting impatient. She knows he's been avoiding her and, she knows too that it has been since she found her soulmate. Obito can feel that she probably wants to give him her version of a stern talking to by her expressions alone.

It doesn't matter he's going to find that watch.

(He does but it takes him all weekend of scouring the greenery. To find it hidden behind a bush and protected by a group of squirrels. It takes a lot of coaxing for them to let him close but it happens.

There is a big crack down the middle, spiderwebbed cracks also streak out like lightning bolts over numbers. What brings back the feelings of intense frustration are the numbers though, six zeroes. Obito wonders if they were like that when he threw it or if he broke his watch.

He just doesn't know.)

Rin corners him. Piercing him down with her gaze as sharp as a Naginata. Inside he thinks that one day she'll be an amazing Kunoichi, but the truth is she already is. Her eyes scream accusations, yells at him and rages. For all that Rin seems perfect she's just a person- a kid, and soulmates are something she's fantasized about for years. For all that Rin's willing to give she wants to take too and Obito hasn't shown one shred of happiness, one bit of sentiment to show how glad he is that she found something so important to her.

Support me! Her brown eyes beg him I've supported you… they plead to understand and Obito sees himself in her. Her anger to hide her sadness, he's right there in the obsidian pupils that mirror his soul back to him.

Obito breathes in and breathes out the words "Rin, I need help," and it's more than just a lended hand he needs right now. He doesn't want her to help him do something, isn't asking her to fix his watch. This cry is for himself, a plea to help fix himself.

Even if his watch is broken his soulmate exists, and right now he feels as broken as his watch. For his soulmate he'll fix it, he'll put whatever he needs to forward to be the worthy soulmate.

You just want to be the kind of soulmate Rin wants. A voice accuses him and it sounds like the one he just read in Rin's eyes.

It's not entirely wrong though, he knows as Rin's anger morphs into a kind face ready to help, to give.

The blood squelched on Kakashi's shoes is a perfect color match for the angry marks that will scar his mind. If they were on his pale skin they would be raised and ugly. But not a single bruise mars his porcelain. He had spent the weekend at the hospital staring at the white of the psych ward and he's sick of the pale color.

His eyes follow a path from his shoes to the empty landscape of his home. For the first time in a long time he feels it. For the first time since he took it off in a fit to act cool and matured he wants to see it. He wants to know when they will come. He wants to know when he'll be saved from his own mind.

He'll be saved.

Kakashi takes a few steps forward then stumbles on the carpeted floor that separates his entryway and living room. He pulls himself up before he makes it halfway down then begins again toward his room.

His genius is only a label to explain that he thinks, not faster or ahead of others, just that he thinks more and Kakashi believes anyone could be at his level if they tried. He thinks more about the bad and the demons that plague him, he'll see Sakumo's- his Father's (Dad's) face more than anyone else in his mind's eyes. He'll think about this more.

That was his Dad.

Kakashi breaks into a mad sprint, a desperate race against his mind, pulling, pushing, shoving the door into the wall. Grasping, gasping toward the drawer that held his salvation. That held the key to his salvation. Shaking hands pull open a shaking drawer, piles of paper get flung across the room. Old mission reports and rule books being thrown at the wall, tossed and floating toward the ground.

At the back, shoved between ink and a compass lays the small device. Sweaty hopeful hands take hold of the object, holding it so hard that his nails bite into his skin.

00:00.

Kakashi remembers all of the hopeful faces, the voices who called his name in an attempt to speak with the "great genius". Who was it? Who? Even if he didn't notice they would have, who didn't tell him. He knows amidst his fleeing and disposition many had become intimidated or just plain pissed but surely not his soulmate? They would have stayed, they would see through his layers because that's what soulmates do right?

They were supposed to be here for him. In his time of need.

He wasn't in need. Sakumo killed himself. Far before the hilt of his kanto had sunk and met his skin.

Kakashi glanced at the fallen papers. Slowly lowering the watch to it's place then bending to pick up the papers. He stacked them slowly, his mind as blank and white as the backs of some of the pages. Eventually his hands enclosed around a thick book, stared uncomprehendingly at the bold letters. Ah yes, the rules, the weapon with which Sakumo had used to destroy himself. How pitiful.

How pitiful.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Naruto

A/N: So I tried writing the selfishness of a kid with the side of a preteen whose maturing and moody (ex. Even though he likes Rin he only keeps her happy for himself) and I'm not sure if it's ooc and too 'dark' but I hope it turned out good. I also added in the extra pressures of him being a nine year old who's already ready to fight that comes with 'war time'. I tried getting that across with the title? The easy way to hate someone with the quick emotions of a child? Anyway R&R, let me know if it was too ooc or how I could improve that, even knew title names.