Author Note: You wonderful awesome readers have been begging me for this one. So here it is.
Jealous
Maya is still boiling with anger as she sits on her bed attempting to sketch, clear her mind but all she can think about is seeing Riley and Lucas holding hands, kissing, the way the Riley stood up to her. Where the hell did that come from?
Who the hell was Riley to decide if something existed between Maya and Lucas or not? Wasn't that up to them? Had Lucas even really given her a chance?
Riley didn't see Lucas as a brother.
How had Maya been so damn wrong?
Was Riley right? Had she concocted the brother/sister theory to make herself feel better about crushing on her best friend's boyfriend?
She tried to wrap her mind around everything that Riley had said to her, she'd called her selfish, confused, but Maya wasn't the selfish one. No, how could she be?
If Riley was really torn up about everything, how come Maya didn't know?
Because you didn't want to see it. The little voice in her head told her, just like you wanted to believe they were like brother and sister.
The only thing Maya felt guilty about was calling Riley a selfish bitch, mostly because Riley wasn't a bitch. Riley Matthews couldn't be a bitch even if she tried.
But that girl sure was selfish.
Maya threw her sketchpad down and picked up her phone, no messages, not even Farkle or Zay.
Sure she'd spent the afternoon crying to Farkle and Zay, but she didn't tell them why. They wouldn't understand, here was Riley once again getting something that Maya wanted, that Maya needed.
She wasn't that surprised Zay hadn't texted to see if she was okay, but Farkle he was supposed to love her as much as he loved Riley. Had she stolen him as well?
When Farkle didn't come to her window by eight, she texted him and got no response. Great, Riley had officially stolen Farkle as well.
Fine, whatever. The voice in her head said as she changed for bed, let that selfish bitch have everything and everyone, it wasn't going to change things.
Maya texted Farkle early in the morning to find out if he was going to walk to school with her, he still didn't answer. Why was he ignoring her?
When Maya walked into class, she saw that the boys had moved their seats. Zay was now behind Riley Farkle was in her seat Lucas and Riley were still in their regular spots.
A line in the sand had been drawn as she went to take the seat behind Lucas only Corn Chip Dave took it first. What the hell man?
She ended up on the outer perimeter; she'd never sat in this part of the room before. She didn't like it.
"Are you people serious?" The white hot rage boiling inside her, "So this is how it works, you guys are all team Riley? Even you Corn Chip Dave?"
"She calls me Dave." He looked at her for just a moment before looking forward.
"So wait, Riley gets the guy even though she knew I liked him, broke girl code and you guys are on her side?" Maya moved between the desks looking at her classmates.
Charlie smirked from the backrow, Darby and Sarah exchanged knowing glances.
Riley and the boys were quiet except for Zay who stood up and looked straight at Maya, "Maya, Riley took herself out of the equation when she didn't have to. She gave up any chance she might have had with Lucas because she wanted to give you a chance to explore the feelings you thought you had, ones you thought he might have for you." He followed her around the desks, "That is the least selfish thing she could do. The girl has been sad for months, even I noticed. Did anyone else notice?"
Several classmates nodded, even Charlie.
"But Maya, did you notice?" Zay was in front of her now, he could see the anger in her eyes but he wasn't scared of her. "You didn't because you wouldn't let yourself. You wouldn't let yourself admit that you were hurting the girl you call your best friend. Friends don't do that to each other, selfish people do that."
Maya bit the insides of her cheeks, glaring at Zay, but she had nothing to say, she had no defense.
Riley looked up, "Maya, do you even understand how hurt I was all these months? I hurt Charlie, and I really am sorry for that."
"It's okay." He smiled; he'd realized after the rooftop she was right.
"It's not." Riley looked around, "So all of you could tell I was miserable, but Maya couldn't?"
Her classmates nodded again and she took her seat, really not sure what to say.
Maya was still standing in the middle of the room when Cory walked in. "Ms. Hart, find your seat."
She sighed as she went to the edge of the classroom, why was everyone ganging up on her when she was the one who'd been wronged?
She didn't pay attention in class, she just continued to fume in her anger.
Her mother was waiting for her when she got home, and from the look on her face she was in trouble.
"Sit down Maya."
Yup she was in trouble.
"Just yell at me and get it over with." She rolled her eyes; she knew the drill she'd get yelled at, maybe grounded, she would do her time and move on.
"Sit down." Katy Hart's eyes drilled into her daughter in a way she never had before, causing her to actually listen for once. "I had a long, long talk with Topanga today. What is wrong with you?"
"Me, what do you mean, what's wrong with me?"
Katy closed her eyes, willing herself to control her tongue, "Calling Riley a selfish bitch. You know I do not tolerate that language young lady, and this attitude of yours, it needs to be checked."
"My attitude" Great even her mother was on little miss perfects side. "I'm going to my room."
"No, you are sitting down and you are going to tell me what the hell is going on with you young lady." Katy stood in front of her daughter so she couldn't stand up and escape. "Start with what you said to Riley yesterday. Is that why you were crying in the bakery all afternoon?"
Maya shook her foot as the angry energy surged through her body, "Yeah I called her a selfish bitch, because that's what Riley is."
Katy closed her eyes, rubbing her fingers over them as she willed the good Lord to give her daughter a lick of sense. "What did Riley do that was so selfish?"
"She stole Lucas from me, Farkle, Zay, turned the whole class against me." Maya crossed her arms over her chest.
"Baby girl," Katy sighed, "Riley didn't do that, you did."
"And you're on her side." Maya threw her arms in the air with frustration.
"Honey, who liked Lucas first" Katy was sitting on the coffee table now, taking one of Maya's hands in hers.
"I mean, I guess Riley did." Maya shook her head, "But when I dressed up as Riley, I realized that they're like brother and sister."
Katy just shook her head, "You are Riley are too close to really see each other especially understand her feelings for someone else. That's my fault, I should've explained that to you, but I didn't."
"So Riley and I are too close for me to see that she and Lucas are so similar?"
"That doesn't mean they're brother and sister like." Katy sighed, "Is that when you started to like Lucas?"
"Maybe…"
"That gave you permission in your mind, didn't it?"
Maya didn't say anything she simply nodded.
"Before Riley pushed Lucas away to give you a chance with him, did he really show you any interest?"
Maya looked back on those times, and not one could she really think of him encouraging her. Not with a look, not with a touch, not his words, the only one he ever encouraged was Riley.
Katy took Maya's silence as a confirmation, "I don't think Lucas was the only issue." She ran her hand through her hair as she gathered the courage to say something that she'd been concerned about for a while, "I think you got too comfortable with the Matthews. I think that you might have inserted yourself in a way that pushed Riley out."
"You're saying I was Single White Female-ing her?"
"You are too young to know that movie." Katy was beyond fed up with her daughter. "I know I haven't always been around as much as you would like, but when I am around you push me away instead to go to them. That stops now Maya. I am your Mother; you will start acting like it."
Maya just rolled her eyes and looked around the room wondering when this lecture was going to be over.
"Hand over your cellphone, go to your room. You're grounded for the next month, maybe longer if your attitude doesn't change and if you don't get over this jealousy you have of Riley."
Maya took her phone out and put it on the coffee table, not like any of her friends would be calling anyways, they'd all picked Team Riley after all.
"You know Maya; you might want to ask why the boys sided with Riley and not you. I think baby girl, you need to take a long hard look at what you're becoming and ask yourself if this is who you want to be. I'm betting it's not, and if it is, then I'm sorry I failed you." Katy picked up the phone and took it into her bedroom.
Maya went into her room, picked up her discarded sketchpad from the night before while one word her mother had said played over and over again in her mind. Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.
Was that what this was?
Was Maya jealous of everything Riley had?
Riley had a Mother and a Father at home.
She had the adoration of their classmates.
She had Lucas.
She had a more promising future.
She had the focus and determination in her school work.
What did Maya have?
She had a Mother who was barely at home.
But her Mother was trying to provide for them as best she could.
Her classmates feared her, but barely.
She didn't have the boy; she didn't even have the potential for a boy.
She had talent that was encouraged by so many people, but did any of them care?
She didn't have the focus or the determination for her school work.
Jealousy.
Damn. Her mother was right. She was jealous of Riley.
But did that make her wrong; Riley was being selfish wasn't she?
Zay's words replayed in her mind again, "Maya, Riley took herself out of the equation when she didn't have to. She gave up any chance she might have had with Lucas because she wanted to give you a chance to explore the feelings you thought you had, ones you thought he might have for you. That is the least selfish thing she could do. The girl has been sad for months, even I noticed. Did anyone else notice? But Maya, did you notice? You didn't because you wouldn't let yourself. You wouldn't let yourself admit that you were hurting the girl you call your best friend. Friends don't do that to each other, selfish people do that."
Maya was starting to realize that she'd been so caught up in the narrative in her own mind that she'd been ignoring the reality of what was really going on. She'd made her best friend the villain and herself the victim, when it might actually be reversed.
Maya had broken girl code.
Maya had hurt her best friend for weeks—no months without so much as noticing.
Riley wasn't the selfish bitch.
Maya was the jealous selfish bitch.
No wonder everyone was Team Riley now, and no one was Team Maya.
She hadn't realized how late it had gotten until she looked out the window; saw the darkness of the night, the closed shops across the street.
Maybe tomorrow she would be able to figure it out who she wanted to be, because her Mother was right, this wasn't who Maya wanted to be.