Boys Like You

Epilogue

–

Groaning face-first into her pillow, Judy reaches under it to retrieve the vibrating menace that is her phone. Sunlight streams through her windows and her phone lights up, green blocks of enthusiasm appearing in real-time underneath the time, 10:46 AM. Rolling onto her back, Judy swipes right.

Ben: TOSAYS THE DAY!

Ben: days*

Ben: UGH I LOST THE EFFECT!2

Ben: W/E

Ben: R U RDY

Ben: DONT FORGET UR CAP

Ben: OR UR GOWN

Ben: n actually i think i left my cap at ur place last night could u BRING IT 4 ME PLS?

Ben: tysm ilysm

Ben: n dont forget ur tassels either

Ben: not even a single 1 (of ur 53 tassels…...)

Ben: miss valedictorian president of the class winner of all science fairs pet of all teachers prom queen summa cum laude

Ben: wait is summa cum laude a thing in high school

Ben: i can't remember

Ben: w/e

Ben: i didnt get one neways

Ben: oh yah ur stole dont frget that

Ben: and also that rbibon thing

Ben: my caps the one with the dOUGHNUT ON TOP!

Ben: JUDY R U EVEN UP ANSWER ME

Smiling, Judy taps her response before placing her phone against her stomach and crossing her paws over it. She feels the rise and fall of her breaths.

Her senior year had felt short and sweet. After a semester of encouragement from Clawhauser and FruFru ("Oh shush, Juju! You're a shoo-in for UCZ. Please think of us lesser mammals when you're president."), she'd been relieved to find that they were right: she'd been accepted to UCZ.

In fact, she hadn't just been accepted to UCZ. She'd read and reread her acceptance letter to the summer Police Academy program so much that the creases had smoothed out; it lays flat on her nightstand, innocent and glorious. She'd once fallen asleep reading it (Nick had found her with the paper against her face the next morning. He still hasn't let her live it down).

Nick had his transfer to UCZ accepted despite his uncertainty in choosing a discipline. He'd taken to tutoring in his free time to pay what he could of the loans he'd taken out.

She's in the middle of smiling up at the ceiling, thoughts of Nick and Tutoring and How This All Began swimming in her head, when her door clicks. Speak of the devil, Judy laughs to herself, and his equally scarlet counterpart shall appear.

"Are you going to your graduation like that?" Nick asks jokingly, a coffee in his hand, phone in the other while his tail flicks lazily around his feet. He eyes her t-shirt and shorts appreciatively.

"Yes," Judy responds gravely. "You'll be carrying me."

His smug grin turns genuine, and he seats himself on the edge of her mattress. Judy sinks a little towards him. "I would if my hands weren't full, shortstack."

Judy rolls her eyes. "That again? Didn't you want to rip that guy a new one?"

"Yeah, but not for acknowledging how attractive you are."

"Oh? I thought that was exactly what it was."

Gently, gingerly, as if he's explaining to a kindergartener, like they're back in Judy's sophomore year and it's calculus all over again, Nick explains to Judy, "There's nothing wrong with being attractive, Judy. Haven't you learned anything from me?" Judy raises her eyebrows, Nick bares his teeth at her cheekily before scooting up to her and crossing his paws behind his bed, leaning easily against her headboard. "He kept looking at me like he thought I was an easy obstacle."

Judy laughs. That rhino clearly had no idea.

Nick nods because of course he can read her mind. "Exactly. It's not about you. I love you"–he tries for casual but it comes out more devoted, like he can't help it, like he's still trying to wrap his mind around how much he loves her and his body knows it better than his own brain does–"and I want you for myself, but at the end of the day, you're allowed to do whatever you want, choose whoever you want. It was just…"

"A dick measuring contest?" Judy suggests angelically as his rambling drifts off. She tries not to laugh at him while he squints at her calculatingly.

"Yes. Precisely. And mine will clearly always be biggest." He hops off her bed and Judy knows he's just trying to avoid a long, sappy monologue. But he starts mumbling to himself, "But not like there was any real contest. I don't feel threatened. I just don't need someone looking down on me."

Judy sidles up to the edge of her bed, settling into the warm spot that Nick has left. She sticks her legs out, brushes her foot gently against his calf. When he looks up at her, eyes alarmingly vulnerable, she reaches out her paws to him. He takes them.

"You don't, at all. But the way mammals look at you will never mean anything," she says softly, looking vibrantly up at him. He searches her gaze for any doubt.

"Do you really think it'll be easy?"

"I don't. At all. It won't be easy. But we have to do what we can with what we've got." She pauses for a second, then lights up. "And maybe things will happen. We have to take small steps, and small steps still add up."

Nick quirks a smile at her. "I'm glad I picked the bunny with all the answers."

"What would you do without me?" Judy quips, bouncing off the bed towards her closet.

"Don't say that, you sound too much like me."

"Silly fox," her voice trails from inside her closet. "Come help me arrange my grad pins by color."

–

Nick does a visual sweep of the field bleachers. Everybody and their pet rock is here. Graduates from his year sit huddled together, obligated to come with their families for their younger siblings' procession. He hops over to familiar faces, and they part for him the way they always have.

"Wiiiilde," they crow, reaching out for high fives and dabs. "What're you here for?"

"His girlfriend," somebody else shouts back, like his classmate is stupid for asking.

Woolford's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh shit, already? I forgot about that! Time flies, man." The group's raucousness chills as each contemplate the mystery that is time.

"Cheeses," one of the weasels grumbles. "We haven't even had a hit yet and we're contemplating life. Can we not?"

Shaking themselves out of their existential stupor, Woolford leans back when the hyena beside him lunges towards Nick, who also flinches back a little at the intensity in his friend's eyes. "So what's new, Wilde? Still hustlin'?"

Nick makes a noncommittal noise as he shrugs, sipping from his coffee, toying with the edge of the aviators around his ears. His knee jiggles. "Don't really have time anymore, between tutoring and keeping my grades up. My transfer to UCZ got accepted."

There's a thundering of hooves. Nick is swarmed by tall ungulates with smaller, softer prey riding their shoulders. His friends rise up, cheering for the track and basketball players from their year.

Some of the prey also slide to the floor, excitedly exchanging greetings with everybody else. "Nick!" Tina squeaks, possum tail curling. "I heard about your transfer! Are you aiming for the Academy next?" She wriggles her eyebrows.

"That's the hope," he smiles, leaning back and resting his elbows on the bench behind him. "Gonna bust my dad outta that hellhole," he jokes.

"Sounds like a plan!" Woolford exclaims, dropping into the spot beside Nick. "You've got this, man."

"Yeah?" Nick finds himself surprised by the faith his friends seem to have in him. They all look at him like he's just announced that he's made of lint and duct tape before they nod, practically in unison.

"No offense man, but you've always been the odd one out," Duke shrugged, a whatcha gonna do about it? look on his face.

This is news to Nick. He blinks at his peers, completely lost.

"You've always just done whatever you want," Another wolf offers lamely, like he can't quite explain it.

"That's… that's really not true," Nick makes a face.

Duke sighs loudly and exchanges a look with Woolford, who also clicks his canines and sighs. "It's true, Wilde. You've always cared too much," he teases.

Nick rolls his eyes, but Duke picks up where Woolford leaves off. "Seriously, man. None of us care, we just go with the flow. That whole thing with Hopps and you being all weird about it? That's cause you still cared." At this point, Duke looks wildly uncomfortable. "If it were me, I woulda just left it and gone for something easier. I mean, none of us care who anybody dates, but we get why you were weird about it. World's a messed up place, man."

Nick sits up straight, then slouches again. He glances around, like he's waiting for them all to start nudging him and tell him it's a joke. He's never felt different. "I'm pretty sure this all happened cause of Judy though"–

"You act like you don't care, but you do," Chuck offers, the hyena leaning forward, still looking as insane as before. "That's why you still get angry. And that's why you tutored us. You're a good one."

"And," A loud voice interjects. "I'm pretty sure Judy was just the trigger. I think your wheel got set into motion long before any bunny came hoppin' by," Ryan sets himself down behind Nick. The bench lifts sharply on either side of him and his companions slide into him. Even though his comment is vague, Nick thinks of his brief stint with the Junior Ranger Scouts, and he wonders.

"You tried too hard to be okay with the status quo," Tina looks at him knowingly. "Nobody else tried, we just made peace with settling."

Nick shakes his head, like he's drying off after a run in the rain. "Alright, fine, I'll just… But what about you guys?" He's really just too floored to be anything but speechless, but he tries.

"What about us?" Woolford grins. Duke raises his eyebrows at Nick, practically begging him to keep asking.

"You all seem pretty aware of how much you've settled."

"Yeah," Chuck makes a face like yeah, true, but. "That was high school. This is a whole new ball game, man." He gets a glint in his eye and rubs his paws together. "Independence, man."

"And we had a pretty good example," Somebody else offers in a sweet singsong. Nick catches Kristie's eye, and she shoots him a sideways smile with a shrug. What're you gonna do about it?

"You're all…" Nick squints, sniffs sharply (to get that thing he feels in his nose) and clears his throat (because it feels prickly). "Really cheesy. I'm disgusted."

His friends fall into laughter as Nick feels something inside him become buoyant. When he let's himself think about it, his friends aren't wrong. He's always tried to be what he thinks other people want him to be. But he's never been happy with it.

And things have gotten easier since he's stopped giving a shit what other people want him to be. These days, he tries to be what he wants to be. And… he let's himself figure out what he wants to be.

He looks towards the stage, and Judy is peeking out of the curtains while everybody else is in their seats. Probably discussing details with the principle. She glances over at him like she's known he's been there the entire time and waves excitedly. He grins back at her.

–

Bellwether's salutatorian speech was good, but Judy bounds onto the stage at the end of the ceremony like her mission is to demolish Bellwether one last time before she'll never get another chance.

She doesn't even tap the mic or glance around nervously, just launches straight into the words like she's known them her entire life. Maybe she has? Nobody would expect anything less from Judith Laverne Hopps.

"So," she raises her eyebrows at the quiet crowd of her classmates. Then she inhales deeply, and her next words come out in a single rush. "We did it. We're here. Do I really need to say anything else?"

Her peers laugh with her, several families in the bleachers chortle. "I mean, you all know what you did to get here. Why does anybody else need to spell it out for you? You know everything you did right or wrong, all the mistakes you made and all your victories. Nobody can know them the way you do"– there are several loud cheers. Judy grins out but continues seriously, "and nobody can take them away from you."

"So I guess if there's anything I say here today, it's to hold onto that. Only you know who you really are. Nobody can make you anything, nobody can tell you what you are. You get to decide that. And I hope that every decision you make makes you better, and makes the world better. Own your mistakes, own your successes, and learn from them. Try. Please. If there is anything you get out of this…" She looks around incredulously, like she's playing a character in some theatre production, "this 90 minute long ceremony," more chuckles, "let it be my plea to never stop trying."

"Never stop trying to understand yourself, never stop trying to understand each other, never stop trying to understand the world around you. And then take what you know and change the things that don't work. You all accepted a fox and a bunny with ease, something my grandparents scoff at, something some parents still scoff at, but not you guys. So I know we can do it. We can change things."

She leans away from the mic, looking satisfied and proud of herself and her classmates. The applause and stamping and howling is revelatory.

She has never felt more like anything is possible, and the crowd seems to agree with her.

–

They stand on the bleachers together when families are dwindling away, looking over the school football field.

"You definitely killed that, Fluff," Nick whistles, smiling down at her with something so gentle in his eyes that Judy feels oddly as though it could knock her over.

"You think so?" She asks shyly. When he looks at her incredulously, she laughs. "Thanks, Nick."

They stand quietly, perched at the top row. The sun is on the last legs of its journey downwards and the sky is a violent orange at the horizon. But the sky above is beginning to twinkle.

"I saw some old friends," Nick mentions, not sure what compels him to share.

"Saw a lot of them by the looks of it," Judy jests. "I saw the whole lot of you. Looked like fun."

"It was. They said… things. They told me stuff about me that I didn't know they ever really… noticed?"

Judy nods. "You're super in your own head. You psych yourself out over things that you think everybody else thinks. You just… needed somebody to pull you out of that, I guess!" She cocks her head, looking more like she's talking to the sky than anybody specifically.

"'Somebody?' You mean a girl like you, maybe?"

She laughs, and he grins at her. "'Girl like me?' What's that supposed to mean, Slick?"

"Someone who spends less time in their head, 'course. What, did you think I was about to list all the tropes you've filled? I can do that, if you want." Judy glowers good-naturedly at him. She waves her paw at him, like she's excusing him for his flippancy.

"I guess I can be a bit of a bull in a china shop," Judy giggles. "But yeah, that's probably good for a 'boy like you.'" She looks at him expectantly, paws still making quoting motions in the air. Her smug face implies that she thinks she's just served his burn right back to him. Nick tries not to laugh at her. He struggles with this for several minutes, letting Judy preen over her perceived success.

"So," he finally manages after choking back his laughter. "'Boy like me,' huh?"

Immediately, Judy's face becomes a little shy. "I used to think you were just… y'know. A guy who likes to play around, who didn't care about the consequences of anything."

"Pretty justified, I'd say," Nick murmurs, paws in his pocket. "It's what I wanted others to think."

"Yeah," she agrees softly. "But once I got to know you, I realized that it was just… you were always just... afraid."

Apparently, it's a night fit for long pauses and thoughtful silences, but the thing is, there's nothing else that really needs to be said. Nick slips his paw through her's.

It's amazing, he thinks, that everybody has always seen straight through him. It's even more amazing that he ever had himself fooled. How much more is gonna change? In college? After? He's always strived for predictability, down to his very character, but now that he's let that go after the past few years, the uncertainty of the future almost seems kind of… promising.

Judy breathes in deeply, swinging their paws slightly, knocking him out of his reverie. "I can't believe it's all over," she murmurs, voice soft and wistful.

Nick raises his eyebrows at her. They drop slowly while a conspiring, wolfish grin grows across his muzzle, making him look like he knows secrets that she'll never have a clue about. Tugging her by their linked paws, she falls into him, her back to his chest. He drapes his arms around her shoulders, letting them hang over, Judy's paw still dangling from his. She cranes her neck back to look up at him, ears attentive, face puzzled.

He smooths her ears down, easing her head forward again so that they're both looking out towards the horizon. His paw lingers at the tips of her ears before tugging just one of them teasingly, gently. "Oh Carrots," he drawls smugly, voice svelte and almost suggestive as he rests the bottom of his muzzle in the space between her ears.

"This is just the beginning."

fin.

–

a/n: Wow. I finished it. I finished my first ever chapter fic. And it was a Zoop fic. That gives me so many feelings, because Zootopia came at this time in my life where everything was a big hot fuckin' mess, and I'm finishing this fic when I'm finally moving past that dumpster fire. It's really… it's just such perfect timing, it's crazy.

Not to mention, this fic has stayed oddly relevant throughout everything I've grown through. It's a pretty timeless idea though, so I guess that makes sense. BE GOOD AND KIND BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY TRUE TO YOURSELF, FOLKS! Don't be something just cause that's how it's always been or that's what you were taught or cause someone told you "that's just how it is." Ask questions! Ask yourself what you really want! Ask yourself about your mistakes, face your demons, face your problematic parts! It is okay to change. It's okay to change your mind. And if people give you shit for it, they're strange. We can't live in a world where people aren't allowed to change! Or where they can't make mistakes! We have to let each other make mistakes and learn and grow and change.

Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox now LMFAO. Thank you all for sticking with me through all of this. :") I can't believe it's been several years, and yet you guys tell me that you come and *reread* this story. You never totally forget. That's crazy. It's crazy that anything I do could have meant anything, HAHAHA. It's been literally an honor to make you guys feel anything at all and I've had so much fun and really stretched my brain.

All said, I am also super glad to be done with this fic. I may try to edit it because I know the last few chapters have deteriorated a bit. My writing style has changed a lot since I began this fic, I honestly can't decide how I like to write more, overly-descriptive and emotional or minimal? But you'd be surprised by how much this fic weighed on me these past years, knowing that it wasn't done when I had promised myself I would finish it, so I'm kind of in this brain-state of like, "i FINISHED IT. I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN."

Not to mention, sometimes I reread this fic and I just. I think I did so BAD, LMAO. I'm so glad that I'm my worst judge, because if this fic is as bad as I sometimes feel it is, I would hate myself for unleashing it upon you guys. Thank you again for all your patience, LOL.

I keep telling myself I will never do this again (multichaps, that is, LMAO), but I keep getting ideas. IT'S TORTUROUS. LOL. So for now, I'm just gonna leave on this note:

thank u, next!