A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe. 2020 has not been a kind year to any of us. I've lost family, I may have lost my mental health at some point during the quarantine, my cat has just died and I am trying my hardest not to lose my job in the near future. I am sorry but my head has not been in the right mind-space to update this story. Thanks to all of you who have been patient and kind with your words. I have forced myself to write on. I will finish this story, I promise.

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS TWILIGHT.

"Did you think this was love

Is love a feature of your kind?"

(Is this love, The Governors)

Bella looked at her reflection in the mirror, really looked. It seemed ages had passed since she'd looked at herself, really looked. It felt like she'd arrived at Tempest Point and leased Tanya's cottage, years ago. Centuries since she'd escaped Phil's basement dungeon, tripped on a trashcan and been found by cops that weren't on her stepfather's payroll. It seemed an era ago she woke in a hospital, and the nurse made her sign admission papers , a dark gleam of greed in the nurse's eyes, and then the doctor… the doctor moving her to another ward, changing her details on the records… on everything. Helped her get her money, helped her get an online job, a new identity, suggested she'd move to the blasted cliffs above the ocean. This doctor… seemed trustworthy, surely… not on Phil's payroll. Safe.

But now, it all seemed to have happened to someone else. Not to her. To someone foreign. Not the woman staring back at her in the mirror. The woman looking back… looked like a woman… a grown ass woman… an adult… not the lost child. Not the abuse victim. Not the raped girl.

The bite marks and knife scars, on her shoulder and back, were gone. All of them, , a black round fire brand of a wolf slashed by white lightning graced the side of her neck, but all other wounds seemed to have disappeared. Her skin didn't seem as pale or as ashen as before. Instead it shone like silver at times, specially if she stood under the moonlight or near Edward.

Her eyes seemed to glow with power, a little less her own color, a little more molten metal, ready to spark at any minute. A power she still didn't understand cursed through her body. And there, on her brown hair, a long lock flowed from her forehead… a single long lock that seemed to glow in the light as if it too were made of silver.

Try as she might, she couldn't recognise this person. The person looking at her through the mirror. It seemed, like the girl from the story, she had stepped through the looking glass to a parallel dimension. A world in which monsters were real, demons and shadows, and wolves and gods and heroes of old converged upon a little town…

Outside, she could hear Jasper and Edward arguing over her. Edward's anger strummed the invisible string linking them. She was hooked on the anger and power he wielded. A wolf constantly nudging and gnawing at her brain… Jasper's mockery sparking the wildfire she felt inside. That felt more familiar… like a forgotten lullaby making her feel rested and blissful.

Between both energies, her skin seemed to be pulled in all directions. Edward's eternal bloodlust ignited her belly and Jasper's wildfire blew lustful dreams into her mind. Her skin prickled with the desire to touch both men. Her body trembled with need to lose herself between them… but her mind… her mind could only hear Phill's cold laughter…. and his goon, James, saying over and over "Found you, bitch!" I can't be with two men, I am a whore. Phill was right!

Her mind replayed all the things Jasper had told her. She wasn't human. She wasn't demon. If not, why do I feel the wildfire in me? She was an elf. Both Carlisle and Jasper had called her a light elf. Her mind ran wild with all the images from pop culture movies… She didn't have pointy ears… do I? She turned her face to check her reflection once again… No pointy ears! She exhaled. Half an elf. Her ignorance hurt her brain. She tried to force it to think back on college days and the measly mythology elective she'd taken to complete her credits but nothing in her memory helped her understand what was, apparently, her own nature. If I am not a demon why does this wildfire hypnotise me? Why do I always feel drawn to it?

As if hearing the questions in her mind, Jasper knocked on the bathroom's door and came in without waiting for her response. He said nothing. His eyes were the demonic black voids that drew her in. Why do I feel drawn to this demon? Her mind filled with Catholic imagery of the devil and Hell. Eternal damnation. Guilt. Sins. Punishment. Jasper chuckled. "That is not what I am, darling." Always the southern accent. Always the cowboy. Disguise to drawn in humans. Human women.

He stood behind her and she could see the reflection on the mirror changing. Fire surrounded him, his blonde hair seemed longer, sleeker and he was wearing the black leather armour that she had seen before in the visions he'd shared. In this reflection, he was all fire, shining with intensity.

The energy he projected towards her had changed. The lust replaced by adoration and love. And pain and shame. So much shame. Mortification, abasement, dishonour. A dark cloud put out his fire. Mocking laughter from his brothers and father filled his ears. Bella's ears. Her mouth filled with bile. His shameful need to throw up. Her lungs filled with smoke.

"Stop it!" She ordered. "Stop, I can't bear it." She turned to face him and he was back to being young, humanlike Jasper, southern ladies man, wavy blonde hair, plaid shirt, jeans, cowboy boots, warm blue eyes, lazy smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry, doll." he smiled and winked. All part of the cowboy disguise. Why do I even like it so much?

"Don't… please never ever apologise…" Bella closed her eyes and pinched her nose. "I just need to understand… why? why didn't you tell me before?"

"Tell you?" His whole demeanour changed. He was back to being Jasper the demon. No, not that! Maybe Jasper, the dark elf. His eyes were not dark voids but blue, and he stood a little taller, squared shoulders. His chin turned up, but there was true pain in his face. He hurt and she couldn't bear it. She felt helpless, he felt helpless. Alone.

He shed a single tear. A tiny cristal shining on his cheek. Her hand instinctively reached out to touch it and it burst into a small vapour cloud. What the…?

"I… I wasn't sent here to tell you anything…" Jasper scoffed. "I was sent here to find you, to protect you if I could, to keep you safe." His fists clenched. He looked away and down at his feet. A new wave of shame assaulted her stomach, she wanted to throw it all up. She was feeling what he felt. Utter revulsion at himself. Bella wanted it to stop. needed it to stop. She didn't want him to feel that way… never like that… never ashamed. Are these my own feelings? Is Alice still…

Jasper shrugged, "But once I crossed over, nothing could have prepared me for this world. There is no demonic magic, no fire, no chaos…. Nothing I can draw upon… only near the stones I can muster enough power to sustain me, to draw up dreams for your petty little humans. They seem to like that, the children of Midgard. But there is not enough in this blasted world to summon all of my father's given powers… And the hunger… the need… even breathing in this fire free world is hard…" Jasper coughed. "And Edward… sure he helped me, but… he cut me… he took away the only thing….The only source of power I had left after crossing the nightmares of the river Dream… my wings…" Jasper wept. Bella turned around and let her arms embrace the blond man's waist. She leaned against his chest. Searching for his heartbeat… she found a strange triple beat. Nothing that could ever be mistaken for human… a triple beat… a sing song heart… fire dancing in his chest.

"By cutting off my wings, he's taken my ability to go back, I can't go back like this. So I'm stuck here, I've been stuck here for months. With no way to move on or call upon others. To call him, your father. But I knew for sure you must be here." Jasper's arms encircled her waist and pulled her closer. Bella felt his wildfire more clearly. Her heart seemed to accelerate to match his triple beat. Lightning igniting her lungs. She felt an urgent need to consume him. To inhale the fiery sparks from his lungs. She licked her lower lip. She felt a warm wave envelop her. Safe. Home.

"How?" Bella managed to whisper.

"How?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I have travelled far and wide to search for you… It's easier for demons. Even half demons, to deal with the madness from the stones. The madness of the river Dream. After all, it begins right where my father has pitched his dark castle… Lord Surtr has created all the nightmares that flow there… And he is my father after all." Jasper's chuckle was bitter. Bella gasped in disbelief. This being…. Jasper, claimed to be the son of Chaos himself. An absolute being of turmoil and discord. A god older than the gods themselves. This much she remembered from her mythology classes.

"I have travelled the worlds, beloved, all of them. Each plunge into the river taking a piece of my elven side, each somersault strengthening his chaotic genes… I had to. I needed to find you. And all the worlds were empty, my love. There was magic to be plundered and harnessed, but I couldn't find you…. I couldn't feel the joy I felt when we met, so long ago. I know, I know, you don't even remember…." Jasper's voice was bitter.

Edward came into the room and found Bella and Jasper in their intimate embrace. His nostrils flared and Bella felt the brunt of his jealous murderous energy. The wolf snarling at them and then whimpering with hot sexual need. His hunger for her seasoned with his never ending heat and harsh possessive want. She winced but held out her arm. Edward moved closer, feeling the couple's pain and anguish. He pulled them both into his own large chest. The wolf growled. This did nothing to soothe its need for its mate. Mine.

Edward's arms tightened around both Bella and Jasper. But he said nothing. He'd been listening in on their conversation. Both of them in pain, and he wanted nothing more than to soothe their gashing wounds. He needed to protect them both. Even Jasper. His wolf growled.

"But this one, this world remained sealed. Magic is so scarce here. Maybe your Aesir gods wanted it this way. Maybe they wanted for this world of humans to be as close as their beloved Asgard. A place where only order prevails. With no wildfire. No chaos. A place they could easily control and enslave." Jasper continued his story and pulled Bella even closer to his own aroused body. So close their skin seemed to burn and fuse together, surrounded by Edward's large biceps. "Well, almost none. There are always remnants of life and fire, wherever the gods have been. Be them Aesir or demons." He inhaled Edward's musky scent. Smiled at Bella and winked. "Theirs is a different kind of magic, and only the remnants of what they have allowed can tap it." He looked at Edward pointedly as if to say, Edward had the upper hand in handling whatever magic there was left on Earth.

"What you mean is all the myths are true? The norse myths?" Bella pressed on, unsatisfied and still needing answers. Why do all of you keep those answers to yourselves?

"What Jasper means is, whomever brought you here and served you up to that monster that kept you locked up, he or she knew what you were, are… who you are. And this person, or being or whatever do you want to call it… It wants to bring about the end of all things." Edward whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened with terror and she felt the air exit her lungs. Jasper brushed his lips on her neck and her wolf brand ignited with his searing fire. It didn't burn her really, it only prickled her skin. Edward's lust flowed freely around them and she couldn't help but moan.

"Time to go home, kiddos!" Edward ran his nose through Bella's hair, inhaling her sweet scent. But he still bared his teeth at Jasper. Still wary of the half-demon's motivations and secrets. "Time to go home."

"Are you sure your father is ok with that?" Jasper sneered. Edward growled but playfully pushed Jasper away, though his smile never reached his eyes.

Back in his own house. Bella lay on Edward's chest. He was asleep. She couldn't rest. The bloodlust flowing from him was restless. It prickled her skin. She let her fingers strum the tattoo on his chest and he seemed to relax somewhat. But the wave of raw sex assaulted her. His muscles shifted beneath her fingers. His skin burned with his heightened temperature. His need and hunger filled her every atom. Her own tattoo burned with the need to lick his chest from tattoo to navel. Bite his abdomen. Suck his burning erection. She moaned as he let out a low lustful growl. She inched closer, letting her wet center rub against his massive thigh. He quickly turned into her and flipped them so his body pinned her to the mattress. His eyes shone bright green in the darkened room. "Bella." his voice was husky with the wolf just beneath the surface. His cock just at her warm entrance. "Mate…. Mine" The wolf demanded. She felt her insides melt with feverish need.

"I need you… fast, and hard." She begged. "Please…" She moaned just as he invaded her with his bulging member. He thrust deep, slow… so slow, she felt it was torture. "Please…"

"Mine." He demanded. Human Edward was gone. A large viking in blue tattoos palmed her breasts, flicking her nipples. A gray wolf sharing a toothy grin bent down and nipped her neck with his fangs. Not enough to draw blood, just enough for her to hear it howl in her mind.

"Yes…" another moan, she shifted and laced her legs around him, bucked her hips so that he was deeper inside her.

"Fuuuuck…" He breathed out. "So tight." He thrust faster, deeper, as if searching for something. As if trying to merge with her. "Mate." the wolf demanded.

"Please." With each new thrust Bella felt him grow closer, deeper, filling her in ways she never knew were possible… she chased after the wolf. In her mind, in that forrest, the gray wolf wanted her just as much as she wanted it. "Come…" she begged. The wolf grinned. Edward thrust again and again until her insides tightened around him.

"Bella…" He exhaled just as he spilled his seed deep inside her. She licked his tattoo in appreciation and smiled as they both drifted back to sleep. The wolf squeaked contentedly.

They'd been back in town for a whole month. Both Jasper and Edward had assumed their roles as Sheriff and Deputy. Playing the human lawmen to a degree that almost made her question if she had dreamt all of what had happened at the Cullen residence. They seemed to never be in the same place at the same time. They had grown into a comfortable routine.

Bella stayed at Edward's during the mornings, working on her online classes with her students.

Jasper usually took her lunch during the weekdays. It was always a treat for her. To see him in his uniform playing the southern ladies man. Most days they ate in the kitchen and he made light conversation. Always changing the subject when she asked about their animal attacks case. Always making jokes about Emmett or Jessica or Tanya. Never steering the conversation to anything other than mundane human business. He got on her nerves, then. It was as if he had to fake even this… their lunch dates. He always ended lunch with a small peck on her lips. Always smiled when she blushed. But never took it further. Not during lunch.

In the afternoons, Bella started running again. Wondering at her stamina and speed. She always chose treks away from town on lonely roads so she could experiment with her new abilities. Running made her feel an exhilaration she had never felt before. She felt strong and whole. Invincible. Strong enough to take on even him. Once in a while Edward joined her, pushing her to go faster, longer, further. They usually ended those runs with mad all night sex sessions in his bath tub. She learned he was playful and competitive. Possessive but generous. Protective but not overbearing.

Weekday evenings she spent with Edward. Cooking. Talking. Watching TV. Reading a book. Watching him clean his guns. Helping him fix something around the house. They became domestic. He kept the conversation on the light, easy subjects. Just like Jasper. He played the human boyfriend to perfection. As if they had cameras on them. He hid in the mundane tasks. And Bella had a very good glimpse of what it had been like for him all these years. Hiding in plain sight. She almost felt normal. Like they had been a couple for years and years.

He knew her. Really knew her. And he showed it. Surprising her with her favourite flowers without having ever asked. Her favourite candy bar every so often. Her favourite film on the DVD player. Little notes she found scattered between her things.

But the weekends… The weekends she felt stretched thin. They alternated according to who was on duty at the station or if Edward had to go into the city for briefings. Things were getting hectic with all the killings in the woods. Some weekends she spent with Jasper at his house. Other weekends Edward kept her busy in bed with his wolf. His hunger for her was insatiable.

At Jasper's, she learned a little more about his powers and some of her own. He didn't talk. He didn't touch her physically. He just projected images and dreams. Memories and nightmares. Wishes and fantasies. He ignited her brain, fed her soul. With his history. With his want. His need for her. But he never touched her and he always stopped when she couldn't take it.

More recently he'd been trying to teach her how to project her own thoughts and fantasies. That usually ended with a frustrated bolt cinching his skin as he laughed mockingly. Bella grew increasingly frustrated on days his fantasies turned to lustful dreams but still he didn't touch her. Those nights she usually slammed the door behind her as he laughed softly at her.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" She demanded.

"I ain't doin' any old thing, sweetie." His southern drawl was her hell.

"Exactly!" She huffed and puffed.

"You are not a wolf!" he reminded her.

She just projected her own self into his mind. Her 10 year old self, sticking out her tongue.

"Little fairy, that is not quite you… where are your wings?" he mocked. "Have you forgotten your wings, princess?" he laughed… she huffed some more… and round and round they went.

But even in the happiest days, Bella always heard the little voice at the back of her head… "Found you, Bitch!" over and over again.