"What was the first time you did it like?" Arizona asked softly.

"I was 15. I didn't really know what I was doing, except that I was in pain and I didn't want to be in pain anymore." Amelia replied with a sigh. Her drug addiction wasn't her favourite topic and most people were more than happy to let her ignore it completely. Not Arizona though.

"But what did it actually feel like?"

"Honestly? It was amazing. It made my entire body feel like it had pins and needles. Like I might float away but at the same time my arms and legs were too heavy for me to control. It took away all the pain. Pain I didn't even know I had. You don't notice the slight ache in your muscles until it's completely gone. It also made it really hard to think straight. Like my thoughts were coming really slowly but I still couldn't stop myself before saying something stupid. I smiled a lot. Laughed a lot too. I think my family were sort of glad I wasn't so sullen for once."

Arizona tried to imagine Amelia, her Amelia, 15 years old and already in so much pain that the only thing that could make her smile was prescription pain killers. Now all it took to make her smile was turning to her right and catching a glimpse of the woman she got to kiss whenever she wanted.

"What about the last time?" Arizona tentatively asked.

"I hardly remember it. I remember the want. The need. The desperation to try and feel like that first time again. Even though it hadn't felt like that in years. But whatever it felt like, it was better than the withdrawals. I felt sick and shaky and like I was completely stuck. I was terrified even after I did it. I knew I was going to have to face it all soon and I wanted to never feel that desperation again. But I still wanted that first high. I still do."

"I'm glad you stopped."

"Me too. Taking oxycodone all day and did nothing for my career," Amelia said jokingly before a lump formed in her throat and she added, "or my love life."

Arizona knew about Ryan. They'd talked all about their past relationships but Amelia had skipped over the whole 'drug-addiction' thing because she'd found that unless the other person was also a drug-addict, it was usually a topic that scared potential partners off.

"Thank you for telling me."

"So long as that wasn't you considering a drug habit," Amelia joked, eager to make the conversation a little bit lighter.

"You're the only drug I need," Arizona teased, abruptly rolling herself on top of her girlfriend and pressing her lips to the brunette's before she had a chance to reply.