So, obviously, I've fallen off of the face of the earth and no longer exist. I am so incredibly sorry for the late update as well as the news I'm bringing with it.

This story is up for adoption.

I've found that I simply don't know where to go with it and how to go about it. I'm not really enjoying writing it, and so I'm going to give it to someone that will.

If you wish to continue this fic, please send me a PM and I will read some of your work before deciding whether to pass it on. I want this fic finished, but I want it finished well. If your writing has pretty alright grammar and spelling, and you'd like to take on the challenge, I welcome you to do so.

If you know anyone that you think would be good to finish this fic, please send them a DM letting them know I'm interested. I just can't continue it, but that doesn't mean it should be abandoned.

Now onto what may possibly be my last update for this story.

Chapter 12: To desire an Alterum

Severus settled against the cushion of the sofa in the library, reading once more on the understandings of the Raksha. It was such an odd concept, but rather than feel emasculated, he felt brought up by it. Harry let him know how much he meant to him every day with little touches and smiles, and he knew that the young man cared for him greatly.

This led him to a new issue.

Harry was always caring for him and leading him, but he never took it any further. He had not told him that he loved him since that first night, and he hadn't done more than kiss his forehead either. He found himself doubting that the alpha wolf even wanted him beyond friends.

But that was ridiculous! Of course, Harry wanted him. He was his Alterum! His mate!

Yet, the question lingered.

-HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP-

Harry rested against the doorframe, watching Severus turn the page. Severus stretched up, letting out a yawn and letting the hem of his shirt ride up, and Harry had to look away as to not march in and lay Severus out against a desk right then and there. The man was most tempting to Harry, but he was still healing.

Severus was certainly making progress, but he was still so fragile compared to the rippling muscles of a competent alpha wolf.

He padded away, letting himself release a sigh. His mate and him had been alone for a month and a half now, and he still hadn't found the courage to breach the subject of their relationship.

The moment didn't wait up for Harry.

Severus jerked awake, shivering and upset. Tears were pouring down his face, but he didn't understand why.

He didn't think, he just got up and ran to Harry's room right down the hall. When Severus reached the bed, he immediately climbed on top of Harry, causing the bigger man to jerk awake. Severus was flipped and slammed onto the bed in a matter of seconds, Harry's large hand wrapped around his neck before Harry gasped.

"Severus?"

Harry moved his hand from his neck to his cheek, looking him over and wiping away the unexpected tears.

"Baby, what is it? What's wrong?"

Severus clung to Harry, not understanding the fear that hadn't left him and the lack of control that he felt.

Harry rolled back over and sat up, pulling his alterum onto his lap to rock him back and forth.

"Hush," Harry soothed. "I'm right here. You're all right."

Severus did not say anything, and soon he was asleep. Harry breathed deeply, moving to lay them both down and settle in for the night. His mate would tell him tomorrow, but for now they needed rest.

-SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-

When Severus woke, he was tucked firmly into Harry's side. He could feel the warm breath of his alpha touching his hair, and his heavy arm wrapped snugly around his waist.

He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, muddling through how he got into Harry's room… his bed… his arms.

"Stop thinking so hard," he heard rumble from the area above his head. "The mornings are not for thinking. They are for enjoying."

Severus shifted, and Harry lifted him more fully onto his body.

"How are you feeling, pet?"

Severus's confusion only grew, and it showed clearly on his face.

"You showed up here a mess last night, Sev. You wouldn't tell me what was wrong."

Severus shrugged.

"I don't remember that."

Harry smiled understandingly.

"It's alright. You know that you're welcome here anytime."

Severus jumped a little, narrowing his eyes at Harry.

"I am?"

Harry frowned in thought.

"Of course, Severus. You are my mate. You are always welcome with me."

Harry lifted Severus' chin so that he could see him fully and clearly.

"I meant it when I told you that I loved you, little one."

Severus stared at him in wonder, sliding up to settle into the crook of his neck.

"I love you, too, Alpha."

Harry smiled, holding the other man close.

"So you don't remember why you came down last night?"

Severus winced.

"I remember waking up really frightened, but I don't remember why or what I was afraid of. I only knew that I had to get to you."

Harry rubbed his back soothingly.

"You've been reading on Rakshas lately, haven't you?"

Severus nodded against his alpha.

"Yes. I know what it means."

Harry moved Severus out of his spot, forcing the other man to look at him.

"You are feeling insecure with me, little one? What is it?"

Severus' breathing sped up, and he averted his eyes to the door.

"No, pet. You need to talk to me. What's going on?"

Severus shook his head, and he didn't speak.

Harry frowned at his alterum, guiding his chin back to face him.

"Raksha," he spoke, his voice nearly a growl. Severus found himself spreading his legs and cocking his head to the side in submission immediately, his eyes half-mast already.

"What is bothering you?"

Severus whimpered, his lips quivering.

"What is causing you fear?" Harry said, softening back into a comforting presence.

Severus winced, clenching his fingers in Harry's shirt.

"I fear that you do not desire me."

Harry gasped, lifting up as Severus continued.

"I am bothered because you don't want me."

Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' waist and pulled him as close as possible.

"My mate," he purred. "Never fear that I don't desire you. I am trying to keep you comfortable, and you aren't fully healed yet—"

Severus shoved at Harry's chest, surprising the alpha with his ferocity.

"You don't want me! You haven't kissed me! You haven't done anything!"

Harry pushed the older man onto the mattress, pressing between his legs and bringing his face down next to the other's.

"I don't want you?" He pondered aloud, rubbing himself slightly on the man below him so that he could feel his desire.

"I don't kiss you? I haven't done anything?"

He brought his lips down a breath away from Severus'.

"I didn't realize you were wanting, sweetheart. Let me remedy that."

And Harry connected their mouths. He wasn't forceful like how he had been speaking, but soft. He didn't want their first kiss to be harsh. Harry moaned when Severus wrapped his long legs around his waist, bringing him closer. Severus twisted Harry's hair in his fingers, holding on tightly as Harry lifted them both back into a sitting position.

Harry and Severus stayed connected until breathing became a necessity, and when they broke apart Harry only pulled Severus further into his lap.

"I love you, alterum; and I desire you. We are moving at your pace here."

Severus nodded, breathing heavily with relief and exertion.