-๑-๑ ஜ ๑- Chapter 41: Alive --๑ ஜ ๑-๑-

Groaning softly the raven turned his head, stuffing his face into the black substance that was the mattress created by Celty´s shadows.

Noises reached his ear, rumbling, talking and a ray of sunlight grazed past the tent´s entrance as he squinted into said direction.

"What?" his hand moved to the right, where he had expected Shizu-chan to be, only to find the side empty.

Confused he sat up in order to look around, but his wounds all too gladly reminded him of their presence as he flinched at the motion.

A bitter smile drew upon his features as he glanced down on what was white bandaid. It was was funny, somehow.

He was not suited to survive, not made to make it within an apocalypse. He wasn't stupid, Izaya knew exactly what he was capable of and what not.

His best tool in his set of skills being the manipulation of humans was not exactly a suitful one in an environment like this.

He knew why he was still there. And it was not something achieved by himself.

Lifting the curtain to their small tent the raven squinted into the sun.

Blond hair was reflecting it all too neatly as Shizu-chan was helping the troup turn over a car that had been thrown over.

He could see Vorona, rambling about something, probably explaining what they were supposed to do- and Shinra, rambling just as much, but with a huge grin on his face and turned towards Celty.

Izaya didn't need to be a genius to know he was probably declaring his undying love for her one more time, just to be sure she really got the gist.

"Hey, good morning." Snapping out of his thoughts the raven looked upwards, facing the blond he hadn't noticed had come closer.

"Morning…" Izaya mumbled, only now noticing that he was quite groggy.

"Not quite awake yet, are you?" Shizuo snorted, moving the tips of his fingers towards the raven´s hair. A strain of black had decided to twirl upwards in a very funny way, making the blond itch to touch it and push it back down.

Almost instantly Izaya´s eyes snapped left and right in a small moment of panic that one of the other might have seen the small gesture.

But to his great relief they were pretty busy battering a good 30 meters away from them. Almost seemed like they were arguing about something.

"How long did I sleep?" the raven questioned, not liking the fact that he had lost track of time like this at all.

"Not too long actually," Shizu-chan shrugged, but his eyes didn't quite meet the raven's eyes- which was pretty suspicious, considering that brute was usually all to straight forward.

"How long?" Izaya repeated again, with one eyebrow raised at the blond´s resistance.

"... a day, or .. two maybe?"

For a moment the raven was left to do nothing but blink.

"Huh?"

"Oh, the sleepy princess is finally up again~!" Twisting his head to the side he could see a certain well known doctor chirping and making his way over to the two of them. "I was worried you wouldn't wake up anymore at all~" the doctor grinned, "Not like anyone apart from me wouldn't celebrate that fact," he shrugged for a moment, making the blond frown just the slightest bit.

Izaya was just left to snort at the show of his best friend´s humor. It had been so long since he heard him fuck around like this, it almost had something nostalgic to it.

And considering how serious Shinra had behaved when he checked Izaya's wounds he definitely preferred this version.

Looking down his stomach he rose his shirt, revealing what seemed like freshly changed bandaid.

"Admit it," he said, addressing the brunette, "what did you knock me out with to make me sleep straight for 3 days?" he questioned, knowing with his sleep pattern that this was definitely not normal.

Only a giggle followed though as the doctor shrugged.

"Who knows~?"

A soft smile spread across the raven´s lips as he shook his head.

"See?" a silent whisper suddenly caught his ears as the blond addressed him, "you are not dead."

…

Silence.

The raven's eyes widened.

His wrist was brought up from his body´s side as he started at the red dot he inflicted to himself.

It was gone.

Just like that.

Nothing left but smooth skin.

Feeling a lump form in the back of his throat the raven suddenly felt a wave of pure relief wash over him.

He wasn't dead.

Whatever he had created inside that syringe- it didn't kill him.

It didn't-

"Tch, I thought he is dead." A certain blond woman had hissed the words from the side, eyeing the raven with what one could only describe as a glare dripping with poison and snapped the raven out of it.

"As lovely as always I see," Izaya merely commented as the woman went past and he could help but feel an enormous smile draw across his features.

To Namie Izaya probably looked like he was just being a sneer, but it was the sheer amount of joy and relief of still being alive that the raven couldn't quite get around to hide.

"Izaya?"

The raven's head snapped to the blond, who was looking at him as though he was making sure the raven had even listened to him in the first place.

"I heard you," Izaya repeated, "I heard."

"What now?" Shizu-chan questioned, and to be honest the raven was quite at a loss for an answer.

He had not expected himself to live for longer than a day.

Letting his eyes trail to the group that was heatedly discussing something he watched them with curiosity.

"What are they quarreling about?"

"They are trying to figure out who is going to get food."

Oh.

Thinking of it, the last time the raven really ate anything was probably a few days ago when he and Shizu-chan were still living inside the school´s library. In terms of getting food they had never really prioritised the deed, considering Izaya himself wasn't exactly someone who ate a lot and Shizu-chan was feeling sick most of the time because of various reasons regarding the zombies.

But in a group like this it made sense- its sheer quantity of people caused food to be the top priority before anyone started to become angry or go astray.

"So, what do we do now?" Shizu-chan asked once more and this time the raven answered.

"Survive, Shizu-chan." Turning around he walked towards the group. "Wouldn't Celty be the best choice?" Izaya questioned aloud, looking at the dullahan that was letting the wall come down just a little bit so she could spy on what was going on outside their little hideout. "No offense Shinra, but I think your soon-to-be-wife is the safest out of all of us here," he argued, knowing that her shadows were probably the best weapon they could find out there against the creatures.

The moment he spoke that sentence out aloud, however, he realized he should have watched his wording. A grin was spreading along the doctor´s cheeks at the mere word soon-to-be-wife.

Celty seemed to have overheard their conversation as she suddenly came over, some words typed on her PDA.

(They are dangerous for me too.) she wrote. Then hesitated as she typed anew. (... I think)

She thought?

She seemed to hesitate for a moment as she typed down her next message.

(When they approached Scooter he disappeared into shadows and escaped as if his life depended on it.)

The raven frowned as he read.

"You think it can infect monsters like you?"

"Hey, don't be mean to Celty!" A certain brown haired girl interrupted obviously only having heard what Izaya had said and not knowing any context.

A hand rose up into the air.

"I vote for sending the bastard out to get some food," a bitter smile decorated Namie´s features at her suggestion.

"And what tells you I won't just run off with the food and leave you all to starve and die?" Izaya threw in, causing the frown on the woman's forehead to grow even deeper.

"I have another suggestion, how about killing this waste of air and eat him instead?"

"Now now, nobody is getting eaten here today," Shinra suddenly chirped, interrupting the conversation.

"I think it would be safest if people go who aren't emotionally unstable at the moment," Kadota said, trying to ease the hostility lingering in the air.

A glare was shot at him instantly as Namie hissed, "Who do you call emotionally unstable?"

"She has a point though." Shinra´s comment didn't exactly help ease the tension either.

"Tch-" the woman spat before turning around on her heels and disappearing into what Izaya suspected to be her tent.

"I'm surprised she didn't murder me in my sleep," he mumbled softly, his words only supposed to be caught by the blond next to him.

"Not like she didn't try."

The raven blinked for a moment before accessing what the blond had just said.

"What?"

But Shizu-chan had already moved- now walking back into the tent Izaya had been sleeping in the past few days.

A last glance was cast towards the group discussion on the matter of food before the aven followed him quickly.

It was dark inside the tent. Consisting of nothing but the black shadows of Celty the only light allowed to enter the sphere was coming from the tiny slit in the front.

Shoving the shadow aside the light illuminated a frowning blond, now sitting on what Izaya would probably call his bed.

"What do you mean, she tried to kill me?" he repeated the blond´s earlier question.

Izaya wasn't stupid, he knew what trying to kill him meant, and he pretty much expected her to try as much. It was a different answer he was searching for.

"More than once yeah," Shizu-chan replied, still disturbingly …. Izaya didn't know how to describe the vibe he felt from Shizu-chan.

"... Shizu-chan is something wrong?" Izaya walked up to the blond and crouched down in front of him.

A sudden pair of arms pulling the raven closer surprised the raven and almost made him lose his balance as the blond nuzzled wordlessly into his neck.

Hands having gripped onto the fabric Shizu-chan wore Izaya regained his balance.

Softly he brushed across the blond´s neck, then his hair as no word was spoken.

"If Shinra pulls something like that again I swear I will kill him," Shizuo mumbled, his own expression churning as he tried to get rid of the lump inside his throat.

"Shinra?" Izaya repeated softly, "What did Shinra do?"

"He injected you some kind of sleeping stuff, I don't know I thought he is giving you something against the pain," Shizu-chan started, tried to explain something beyond simply giving information. "But then he said you will be asleep for a long time,"

A mixture of pain and frustration started to fill the blond´s eyes.

"... but that's good, no? He just wanted to increase the time of my wounds heali-"

"I thought this would be it."

Ah.

So that´s why.

The raven started to understand.

"If that stuff really changed you, then-"

It would have been the last time Shizu-chan had seen him alive and talking.

The raven started to understand what this was about- what these emotions were that kept displaying on Shizu-chan´s expression.

It was fear, he had feared he had already lost him.

"I couldn't even have said goodbye." The words started to sound almost choked, despite the blond not crying or having his breathing impaired.

A deep frown decorated an expression that screamed how the thought itself pained him already.

"Still would have been some great last words," Izaya suddenly mumbled and the blond felt a pair of lips touch his forehead.

"What would have been?" he asked softly, and closed his eyes.

"Well as far as I remember your last words to me where something along the line of I love you," the raven whispered softly, his lips right above Shizuo´s ear. "Not the worst to hear before parting I must say."

The grip around the flea´s body tightened softly into a hearty hug.

"What does this mean now?" Shizu-chan asked softly.

"What?"

"Your wrist. You didn't turn into a zombie, so-"

…

Truly.

Izaya hadn't had any time to wonder about this issue himself. Having awoken just before he had been quite busy taking in the fact that he was still alive at all.

"I can't really say for sure," he replied, "I could have had immense luck and my body managed to avoid being zombified by the small amount I shot myself," he started to hypothesize aloud, "Could be my antidote was just a pile of weird fluids, with no effect whatsoever, or…"

The raven paused for a moment, not sure if he should even mention the last option.

"Or?" But wasn't going to leave him off the hook now and he knew that.

"Well chances are I might really have invented a cure or antidote and I'm now immune against being zombified."

Izaya just hoped the blond wouldn´t take the option as granted.

"That would be something close to a miracle," he added, just to be sure he didn't raise false hopes. "Fact is I survived, and I'm not going to turn into a disgusting creature anytime soon."

But it seemed he had worried for nothing. The blond wasn't exhilarated about the last option nor seemed to take it for granted.

The only reply he offered at all was a soft nod into the raven's shoulder as he just continued to hug the raven tight.

It was…. good, in a sense, as Shizu-chan was not exaggerating any hopes, and yet…

"Shizu-chan, what happened while I was asleep?" Izaya asked softly, feeling that there was more to this than just the blond having worried whether Izaya was going to wake up again or not.

"Nothing really." the blond started, "Namie tried to sneak into the tent to finish you off a few times, but each time she saw me she just hissed and fucked off," but it weren't facts that the raven was looking for.

"That's not what I meant," pushing the blond off just a bit he made it so he could look him into his eyes. "You seem off," Izaya stated, "Why?"

A moment of silence passed as the blond shrugged.

"It was lonely."

"Even with Shinra and the others there?" The raven seemed to have hit something on the mark as the blond´s expression grew even sterner.

"I think they gave up." The words seemed like they weren't easy to be spoken, "They don't even wonder anymore what to do to go back to living…I mean-" Shizuo struggled to describe what he had been feeling for days. "Really living," he met Izaya's eyes. Oh so beautiful and lively eyes. "Like you do." Full of ideas, joy, sure maybe also fear, regret and pain, but nonetheless, filled with so much more than anyone else´s. "They just search for food, complain about what has happened, about what's happening now, about how futile everything is anyway-" Shizuo faded out, not really sure how much more he could say to describe what he had seen.

"They gave up," Izaya repeated, this time understanding what it was that pained the blond so much.

"Yeah…"

No wonder Shizu-chan was down like this.

The entire time they had spent together it had been Izaya who tried to reenact a life worth living. While Shizu-chan´s strength laid in a physical form, Izaya's was more of a psychological nature.

"Shinra was the only one who at least tried to animate everyone to cheer up and appreciate that they were alive, but yeah- he didn't really succeed," Shizu-chan continued, and suddenly the informant couldn't help but feel responsible for this situation.

"I´m sorry," he started, causing the blond´s expression to grow quizzical instead.

"For what?"

Reaching up the raven cupped Shizu-chan´s face, "For putting you through all this," and pressed his lips softly against the blond´s for a moment, before meeting his glance again, "but now I'm back, and I definitely don't plan to sit around idly and wait to drop dead. After all, there are so many fun things to do, like recreating fairy tales," Izaya announced, recalling a memory the blond couldn't help but smile about.

"Again red riding hood?" he questioned jokingly, suddenly feeling as though a load had been put off his chest.

Ah.

Yeah.

This was it.

This was what had been missing.

Izaya, and all his stupid ideas of amusement.

"What's your plan?" Shizuo questioned, knowing that as always, Izaya had one at hand.

And Izaya did.

He had since they headed for the black helicopter they saw.

"First, find out what Shinra is really trying to do."

"Survive? Or what else..?" Shizuo questioned, his mind refreshingly curious what the raven was talking about now.

"You just said it Shizu-chan, that quack is in a way too optimistic mood to be steering around aimlessly," Izaya explained, a smile on his lips as he got up from the ground.

"You think he has a goal?" Shizuo asked, doing they very same as they left the tent again.

"I think he is trying to find a cure."

to be continued~

WOHOOOO

I`M BACK

just like Izaya lol xD

And I will keep updating! xD

Second update I finished this week, YES this could be a return to my fanfictions for real now xD

With all this time during Corona it would be more than pathethic to still not get shit done lmao

Anyway~!

Peeps I hope you are all doing well 3 And I hope i could bring you some joy with this update. :3

Things are gonna get heated real soon xD in more than one way hehehehe

I'm sorry for disappearing for so long, but yah, life happened xD If you wanna know what exactly you can read my explanation on the last update of Shingeki no Shizuo, but for everyone else who is just here for the story- IM BACK XD

And I will stay lmao

look forward to more updates on my stories and stay healthy peeps~!