A/N: Technically, it's still April Fool's where I am.

The human laughs hysterically yet again, and he starts tossing the raw meat into the batter as revenge. As the human starts to slowly pull themselves off the ground, they hear the doorbell ring. They share a confused look before the human dusts their hands and gently pats his head.

"I'll go get it. You can finish adding the- oh my God you seriously put meat in the batter." He laughs at their horrified stare, and he picks up a spoon to start mixing the ingredients together.

"More for me then. Go get the door." A strangled cry escapes them as they walk over to the door, opening it.

"Oh OH OKAY OKAY." The door slams shut, and the human lets out a weak wheeze. Brass looks towards the door in confusion and sees the human with their back pressed against the door, eyes wide and skin pale.

"You uh, you okay there?"

"MmmMMHMM yeah! I'm OKAY!" They laugh nervously and sink to the floor. That does not sound okay. He leaves his position on the counter and gradually makes his way over to the human. When he gets to them, the human has covered the lower part of their face with their hands, eyes still wide as they stare at the wall.

"...You sure you're okay, pal?" He watches as they take a deep, shuddery breath as they remove their hands from their face, nodding and looking down at him with a nervous smile.

"Y-yeah! I just gotta… tell them that I'm uh, n-not interested and stuff, haha!" Ah, it was just those door-to-door salesmen. He still doesn't understand why they reacted like that though, so when they scoop him up and place them onto their shoulder, he wonders just what the fuck startled them so bad. A knock signals that the person is still behind the door, and he kind of feels bad for the treatment the human gave them earlier. The human takes a deep breath once more and opens the door.

When the door swings open, what he sees before him stuns him silent.

It's…

It's the sasquatch.

THE sasquatch.

The SASQUATCH.

THE SASQUATCH IS REAL.

"I TOLD YOU HE WAS REAL!" He can't stop himself from bellowing this to the human as the truth stands right before them. Now he understands why they slammed the door. They flinched at the volume of his voice.

"You don't have to yell!"

"And YOU said that we were far enough away from the mountains that we'd be safe! Obviously you were WRONG!"

"Brass PLEASE."

"Reaaaaal." He hisses this into their ear as they sigh and rub their face. If the sasquatch is real, then that means that Slendy and the Rake and Jeff are all real and oh boy they are going to be in deep shit if they don't prepare for the upcoming creepypasta apocalypse-

The sasquatch puts down a boombox (whAT) and hits play. There's a brief moment of silence when chippy music starts to play. It's strangely off-tune and some of the instruments clash with the others, but when the sasquatch starts to dance, something clicks inside his head.

It's…

"It's doin' a matin' ritual." He says this out loud, watching as it continues its little jig while the boombox starts to talk about "amazingly low prices at Sasquatch Sales". "It's tryin' to take you as its MATE." The human groans and hides their face behind their hands.

"Brass, NO." He glares at the sasquatch and pats the human's cheek protectively. They were HIS human, no one, not even this sasquatch was going to take them from him. He growls when the sasquatch comes closer, thoroughly startling the creature and making it back away with unease. His human sighs and drops their hands from their face. "Brass, that's not-"

"Don't worry, I won't let them take ya." A frustrated groan leaves their lips.

"Brass, there's nothing-" The sasquatch holds their hand out to the human, a flyer being held in it. Aw hell no, whatever was on that paper couldn't be good, especially after THAT display. He snarls at it, making it jump back and drop the paper on the floor. It quickly picks up the boombox and leaves their property.

"Yeah that's right, beat it!" He waves a fist at it as it continues to leave, making his human sigh.

"Sorry!" They call out to it before closing the door and going back to the kitchen. "Brass, that was just a person in a suit, not the actual sasquatch." He snorts and shakes his skull.

"You can't fool me. That was definitely the sasquatch." They groan again and rub their temple.

"Yeah okay. Let's just uh, finish this cake." They set him back down on the counter and they both manage to bake the cake to completion.

Tasting it, on the other hand, was a bigger a challenge.

"You try it first."

"No, I insist you give it a go."

"I thought you liked cake!"

"Yeah well, today I'm feelin' generous. So you try it."

"No, you go first."

"No, you."

They bicker for a little longer before agreeing to trying it at the same time. Brass watches as they take a tentative bite out of the cake, their face screwing up at the unpleasant flavor. He takes a small nibble and figures that it doesn't taste too bad as long as you avoid the meaty areas. His human takes another bite and almost gags.

"Ugh. Ew." They put down the cake and shudder, pushing it away from them with disgust. "I knew I should have removed the meat." He snorts and keeps eating his slice.

"You probably wouldn't have gotten the all of the meat out though." They sigh and rest their head on the table.

"Yeaaaah. Oh well." They smile at him as he continues to eat.

"You like it?"

"It's alright." He pulls out a bit of meat and keeps it to the side. He can eat that later.

"Well, at least I know you'll eat it."

"It's either this or take out."

"There's nothing wrong with take out!"

"There is when you only buy out from the same Chinese restaurant over and over again."

"Rude." They both dissolve into laughter as the sun sets in the background. For once, he feels truly happy with his life.

\=\

He grumbles when they put him in their jacket pocket, his arms hanging out from the fabric as they take their wallet and shove it in another pocket.

"Do we have to go and visit the sasquatch?" They sigh and leave the house, locking the door before looking at the flyer and walking towards the bus stop.

"The flyer said the store had some great deals, and we need some more things anyway so."

"But you're not going because you like the sasquatch, right?"

"No!" They sigh and pat his head with their finger. "We're just gonna go and check the place out. No biggie, right?"

"I guess."

"Great. Now let's just enjoy ourselves. You don't get to go out that often anyway, so this'll be a nice change!"

The bus ride to the store was pretty eventful. Everyone stared at him like they've never seen a tiny, walking, talking skeleton before. A kid tried to grab him, but his human gently batted his hands away and told him that he wasn't a toy. After that, they had a hand cup the pocket to make sure that no one else would try to reach over and grab him. Otherwise, the trip was pretty nice, and he liked staring out the window. It was cool watching all the scenery zoom by, and there were so many different places to look at. He hoped that they would take him out again someday.

"And… here we are." His human looks up from the flyer to the store sign, reading the gaudy print that spelled out "Sasquatch Sales", before humming to themselves and folding the flyer up. "I wonder what they sell."

"It's a trap used to lure in humans so that the sasquatch can eat them or somethin'." He eyes the store with suspicion, not liking the idea that his human was willingly going into the nest of a sasquatch. It was a good thing he was here to protect them. They laugh lightly and head towards the doors.

"It does sound like a tourist trap." A little bell rings as they enter the store, and the first thing both of them notice is the sasquatch playing with the children. Brass hisses audibly, making his human look down at him. "Brass?"

"Don't talk to it. It tried to woo you with that dance, remember?" He glares at its jovial appearance, not trusting it one bit.

"Oh, Brass." They shake their head and turn away from the sasquatch, instead heading towards the aisles to see what they have. "I told you, it's not actually the real sasquatch. Just a dude in a costume."

"It tried to grab you!"

"They were handing me a flyer, my dude." They smile and pick up a stack of paper plates, contemplating for a bit before putting them back down. "But you don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

"Good." He watches as they go from aisle to aisle, looking at low priced tupperware and dishes to checking out the quality of food the store had available. Eventually, they settle on buying some containers and some snacks, allowing Brass to leave their pocket to browse the sweets as they decided on a pack of cookies. They end up convincing Brass that it was okay for him to take two packs of candies, and the pair of them head to one of the cashiers to pay for the goods. The person manning the cashier smiles bleakly at them, taking their things and scanning the stuff. Brass, who is comfortable chilling out in their breast pocket, realizes that something smells… familiar. He peeks his skull out from pocket and stares at the cashier.

"Your total is tw-" He catches the cashier's eye, making them freeze up and stare at him. Brass squints at this new human, trying to figure out what about them makes him feel upset.

"Is something the matter?" His human is looking at the cashier, and then notices that they're looking at Brass. "Oh, don't mind him, he won't cause trouble."

"Y-you sure?"

"Um… Yes…?" They stare at the cashier with concern while Brass continues to solve the puzzle he was presented with. "Are you alright?"

"Yes!" The cashier jumps back into their work, quickly taking his human's money and ripping off the recipe. "Here is your change, have a nice day!" Brass gets a whiff of their scent and realization almost makes him tumble out of the pocket.

"It's YOU!" The cashier yelps.

"Brass?" His human looks at him with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"They're the sasquatch from yesterday! I remember now!"

"Wha- how can you even tell?"

"Their fear smells the same." He growls under his breath as his human groans, turning back to the cashier with an apologetic face.

"I'm so sorry. He's just uh, a bit protective."

"Do sasquatches shapeshift?" He whispers up to them, making them look down at him in shock.

"Wha- no! No, I told you it was just a person in a costume! A person named-" they look at the cashier's name tag, "-Casey! They're just trying to do their job Brass, they don't mean any harm." Casey nods in agreement. However, this does nothing to stem his suspicions, so he figures that a bit of questioning is in order. It's too convenient that this person happens to be human and just so happens to be working at the cashier that his human chose. They are totally targeting his human.

"I need to ask some questions first, just to be sure!"

"Brass!"

"No uh, i-it's okay. I have a break coming up in an hour or so, so maybe come back so that we can sort this out?"

"Y… yeah. I guess we can do that. I'm so sorry, by the way." The cashier smiles pleasantly at his human, making Brass bristle just a little.

"It's alright. I'm sure after all of this is over, he'll be okay with me." Brass scoffs and glares at the cashier.

"Don't think so, buddy." They flinch, and his human grabs the bags quickly and laughs.

"Hahah! Okay see you later then bye!" They rush out the store and quickly locate a bench to sit down at. Once they put the bags down, they take him out of the pocket and sit him down on their knee, frowning as they cross their arms.

"...Dude. What was that all about?" He avoids their stare and focuses his eye lights on a nearby tree instead.

"I don't trust them. They could be trying to use you or something,"

"You don't know that, Brass."

"And you don't know that either." His tone comes out as scathing as he glares at them. Unlike the cashier, they remain unfazed as they continue to disappointedly stare at him. "Look, I'm just trying to protect you." They sigh and scoop him up, bringing him to their face.

"I can protect myself, Brass. You don't need to worry about me." He grumbles and looks away.

"Says the person who managed to lock themselves out of the house even though they had the keys on them." They pout and nuzzle his cheekbone.

"I just forgot. But I still got in right?"

"After I fuckin' reminded you about your damn keys."

"Of course." They give him a little kiss, making him cling to their face so that they can't full pull away. "But I'll still manage in the end."

"I guess."

"Your confidence in me is overpowering." They laugh anyway, and gently pull away from his grip. "Wanna watch some videos to pass the time?"

"...yeah."

\=\

"...so."

"You're a sasquatch, stop fuckin' lyin' and tell us the truth."

"Brass!" The three of them were sitting in a local pizza shop, the cashier looking highly uncomfortable with the level of attention Brass was giving them. His human gives him a reprimanding glare and is quick to get up to place an order for some grub. This leaves the cashier alone with him, which is exactly what he wants. Brass walks up to them and gives them a scrutinizing glare. "Casey" or whatever (he bets that that's not even their real name, this faker) rubs their hands together nervously, and Brass sits down in front of them, not budging an inch.

"So I've got some questions."

"R-right."

"Are you actually a human?"

"Y-yes."

"Hmm." Of course they'd say that. Why would they admit to being a sasquatch if they were trying to blend in? "Where do you live?"

"In a house…?"

"No dipshit, I meant your address."

"U-uh, that's pretty private…"

"Are you trying to dodge the question 'cause yer a flithy liar?"

"N-no!" They sigh and scratch the back of their head. "Um… I live at…" They give him the address, and he notes that they live around his own home. He squints suspiciously at them.

"...are you targeting my human?"

"Wh-what?"

"'Cause if you try takin' them away from me, yer gonna be in for some huge trouble."

"I got the pizza!" His human comes back and looks for Brass, seeing him in front of Casey and motioning with their head for him to come back over to their side of the table. They put the pizza down and start chomping away, distracting Brass long enough for Casey to regain their composure. It's quiet as they all eat, his human keeping his mouth full of food while the other human keeps stuffing their mouth full to keep from having to talk.

Needless to say, it's incredibly awkward.

When the pizza is finished, they all just hang around the table, glancing from one person to the other. Unsurprisingly, Brass is the one who speaks up first.

"So, why are you actin' like a human."

"Cause I am one!"

"I saw you as a sasquatch don't lie to me!"

"It's a costume!"

"Prove it."

"I will! If you come to my place tonight, then I can show you the costume and then you'll stop sayin' I'm the sasquatch!" This feels like a trap. He glares at Casey and shakes his skull.

"No, you come to our place and prove it there."

"Brass?!"

"Hrrgh, fine!"

"Casey?!" Brass gives them the address, and Casey leaves to return to their shift, leaving him and his human alone. When Brass remembers that they're still there, he looks up to see that they are completely shocked. "You just… You just gave them our address just like that…"

"Yup."

"I didn't… even get a say in it…"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry about that."

"Someone's coming to our place… Aw maaaan…" He watches as they slowly slide down their seat, gradually disappearing under the table.

"You uh, you okay there?"

\=\

When they get home, the first thing his human does is curl up on the couch. They look incredibly tired and worn out, and he thinks that it's partially his fault. It probably doesn't help that Casey will be over at any moment, and for some reason, his human isn't exactly comfortable dealing with their own kind. But if all goes well, he'll be able to prove that Casey is in fact a real life sasquatch and that they don't have to worry about anything as long as he is around.

There's a knock at the door, and his human makes a long ass whine before they finally get up and get to the door. They pick up Brass along the way, propping him up on their shoulder as they open the door.

"Hello~!"

"Wha-?"

"I'm here to take Berry back." Him and his human stand there, completely stunned as his "mama" stands there, her hand held out as if she expects his human to give him back. Immediately, his human wraps a hand around him protectively.

"N-no! You can't have him back!" The bitch frowns and pulls her hand back.

"You DID say that I could pick him up, didn't you? Well, now I'm ready to take him back, so give him to me!"

"No! I won't let you!" They attempt to slam the door on her, but she jams her foot in the way, barring the door from being closed.

"You're giving him back to me or else!"

"Fuck off, bitch!" He spits the words out quickly, and her eyes flash to him, a snarl building on her face.

"What did you just call me, Berry?" She forces the door open and walks through the doorway, grabbing his human by their shirt and slapping them across the face. They yelp in face, making Brass roar in anger.

"Don't you HURT THEM!"

"Why? What can you do, you useless piece of shit?" He tries to squirm his way out of his human's grip, but they refuse to weaken their hold on him. There had to be something he could do…

That's it.

Casey.

"They're friends with a sasquatch!" His "mama" blinks in confusion while his human squawks in shock.

"A… sasquatch, you say?"

"Oh my god, ohhh my god I can't believe this oh my god…"

"Yes!" He looks at his human with reassurance in his eyes, because he KNOWS Casey will come soon, and they ARE a sasquatch he can prove it-

A low growl is heard from behind the bitch. The bitch slowly turns around while he and his human look over her shoulder. A great, big mass of brown hair stands in front of the doorway, panting softly as though it had just ran here from far away.

"Casey!" He looks at his human with triumph in shining in his eye lights. His human just looks completely befuddled. The bitch releases them and focuses her attention on Casey. They stand there, watching the scene before them in confusion before cocking their head to the side. She scoffs and shoves them rudely.

"This? Is your 'sasquatch'? They're just a person in a costume for fuck's sakes!" She shoves them again, earning a hurt whine from them. "I bet they're weak as hell."

"Casey, do something!" He points at the bitch, hoping that they could figure out what was happening. Instead, Casey just blinks in confusion some more before grabbing the bitch out of interest.

"Hey, let me go you freak!" They lift her up by her armpits and slowly sling her over their shoulder. Without much a pause, they walk away with her screaming bloody murder while keeping a firm hold around her waist.

"Ah… ha…" His human collapses onto the ground, relaxing their hold on him which allows him to squirm free and pat their cheek.

"It's okay now. Nothin' back is gonna happen-"

"Hello?!" Casey, now apparently human, returns with a furry… costume? It's draped over their shoulder as though they were about to put it on, but didn't get a chance to. In their hand is a leash and collar, and they're looking around frantically for something. "Are you guys alright?! I saw the door wide open!"

"Uh… Casey?" His human stares at them, dumbfounded. Brass on the other hand, takes everything in stride.

"Wow, you're really going to make that bitch your 'bitch' huh?"

"What?" They look down at the leash and collar in their hand and blush. "No! Nononono you got the wrong idea!"

"I'm not judgin'. People are into that shit, and I guess so do sasquatches. By the way, what did you do to her?"

"What? To who?" Brass frowns. Does he get memory loss when they transform back into a human or something? Does it happen when they transform into a sasquatch as well? That could explain why they didn't really say much when they first appeared.

"You know. To the lady you pretty much just kidnapped?"

"KIDNAPPED?!" They wheeze and spin in a circle. "Someone was KIDNAPPED?"

"Hey man, calm down. You did a good deed. She was beatin' up on my human here, but then you carried her away like she didn't weigh shit. Hey, do you grow taller when you turn into a sasquatch or something?"

"No, tiny skellyman, I told you! I'm not a sasquatch!" He frowns.

"Then… Who the hell did we just see then, if it wasn't you?" Casey swallows hard, looking back down at the leash in his hand.

"That was uh… that was…" Their voice grows quieter as they whimper out the answer. "Y'know, the store is named 'Sasquatch Sales' for a reason." And even quieter. "That was my boss."

Silence.

And then-

"YOUR WHAT?"

TO BE CONTINUED.

MAYBE.