Ashi: I have nothing to say. I'm kinkshaming (aka venting fustrations) myself. This is the result of many, many fanfics read over the week featuring...Adult Babies and this came to mind.

God I need sleep.

Xx-Determination-xX

Chapter 1 - Realizing the Problem: by Counter Guardian EMIYA (AKA Archer)

If it wasn't for the fact that his eternity was taken by Alaya and forced into being a Counter Guardian, EMIYA would question most of his decisions- save for the ones involving causing a paradox so strong it erases both his and his past self's existence. Somewhere along the 100th time did he realize that this wasn't working and that a new plan was at hand.

Become his Servant instead of Rin's - Gets killed due to betrayal

Fuse together into one entity - Ends in a harem of yandere-esce females

Use Rule Breaker on Lancer - Ends with his past self getting "frisky" with Ireland's Child of Light (and forced to record it no thanks to Rin and Sakura)

Fix his faulty circuits - Ends up summoning an entire army of Sabers and still winds up in a harem, but with added men

So deciding to make this the final 101st time, EMIYA found himself being summoned a lot earlier than usual. He noted that he fell into the living room like last time he was summoned on the 23rd time (he didn't dare speak of Kotomine) and Rin coming up and yelling at him, demanding him to clean said room, and somehow managed to avoid losing that very important first command seal. Later the next day he would find himself hunting down Lancer and forcing him into a contract with Rin and using Rule Breaker on himself (viva la Independent Action Attribute) and heading back to where his old home was.

This part, made a deep, dark part of him react negatively- saying that it was change his ideals or absolutely murder his past self ; in the end, EMIYA found himself ignoring it and sneaking into the mansion undisturbed.

This was where it got hard.

It was the matter of setting every single thing up as a trap, preventing Taiga from coming in and disturbing everything (forging a letter saying she had to go to Namimori for the next few days to train a no good middle school student) and kidnapping Sakura in order to leave her with Rin, debatable, but effective. Next was locking the Shed preventing his past self both from training and accidentally summoning Saber, who would make the entire transition even more difficult. With those parts done came the most difficult waiting game to happen: waiting for Shirou Emiya to come home.

As soon as the clock hit five, Archer called the school explaining that Shirou will be going on a family trip to England for the next two weeks as to not hold onto any suspicion, introducing himself as his Uncle. As he would be helping out the student council and the heading to Copenhagen for the next five hours, this gave time for him to start changing the room. Moving all sharp objects and books to another room down the hall along human/magi-proofing everything, he made the room more comfortable and child-like; adding a playpen in the living room with a few toys (ironically, a plush Lancer Alter and plastic versions of Kanshou and Byakuya). All the blue and white baseball shirts, pants, and school uniforms placed in the storage room and replaced with more comfortable and age-appropriate clothing, items, and "underwear" in the dresser. Removing his holy shroud and battle outfit, Archer instead put on a black collar shirt and pants to match, rolling up the sleeves, huffing at little at everything.

This was his last try to fix his mistakes of the previous timelines, to finally rest in peace not as a Hero or a Counter Guardian, but just as regular ol' EMIYA. Even if it wasn't the most...sane.