Basically, when Nico is tired she questions her sentence structures and everything in life, and when Maki is tired she becomes a gay crisis.

(Nico is always a gay crisis whether tired or not.)

This isn't Nozoelinico or Elinico, I promise (writing Eli and Nico's interactions and Maki judging them is just too fun)

This may or may not have accidentally turned into crack halfway and it's all Eli's fault

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MAYBE BAD JOKES

Edit:: thanks to a guest for pointing out a typo!

Also since I'm here editing I might as well thank y'all, you guys are amazing ;w; Thanks for appreciating my weird humour, all of you are the best

…

Everything seems gray. The walls are grey, the disgusting coffee she makes is gray, and her future can't possibly be anything but gray. Nico was just part-timing in this coffee shop to get money until she could actually use her spankin' new hot degree she tore from the bloodied claws of education last year, but that didn't mean it wasn't boring as hell. She also joined for the free coffee, but it didn't help that most of their selection tasted like cardboard. Cardboard. At least that's brown. You would think that the coffee they served would be brown too, but nooo, it was grey. How was that even possible? What was inside?

She glanced sympathetically as the guy in the corner who ordered the cheapest thing on the menu choke. Nevermind, Nico decided she didn't want to know. Hopefully they weren't breaking any food laws.

Now that she wasn't part of the scene, she took the chance to gaze at the satisfying scene of final year students cramming for their exams. That felt good. Almost brought a spark into her grey life. She checked her watch. Three more hours to go. She sighed. Why didn't she at least have one barista buddy? Where was Eli? Nico hoped that Eli wasn't flirting with Nozomi again. (She probably was.)

Nico checked her watch again. Two hours and fifty-nine minutes to go. This was not working. Why wouldn't anyone, anyone, just come in and order something? She glared at the innocent passersby who hustle past the shop. Evidently they were having more of a life than her. She couldn't blame them, considering how terrible the coffee sucked. She contemplated her recent sentence. Would the double negative of 'terrible' and 'sucked' become positive? She fervently hoped not, because nobody should ever imply that the coffee was good, even if on accident. She groaned. This was exactly why Eli and Nozomi shouldn't force her to study. Her brain went off track. Why was she thinking so much about the damn coffee anyway?

Suddenly, a flash of cerise hair as a completely frazzled, final year girl wearing a teal hoodie rounded a corner. Nico felt like she was witnessing one of those weird-assed romance movies where time slows down, hair swooshes and the girl swoons. Wow, swooshes and swoons sure are similar words. Nico should expand her vocabulary. This girl was screaming the "I woke up this beautiful" look. Literally, if the ink smudged on half her face and the huge tangle of hair told anything. Nico swore Garasu no Hanazono was playing somewhere in the background to accompany her gay crisis. Nozomi and Eli have ruined her forever. Nico searched the deep depths of her short-circuited brain for any words that didn't consist of 'um', at least until the hot girl walked straight into the closed glass door and fell over.

Forget about a coherent sentence, Nico didn't think she could stop herself from laughing her head off.

…..

Maki wasn't exactly having the best day. She had a little less than twenty-four hours to cram for her final, she most definitely did not walk into a glass door, and the stupid barista (who, incidentally, looked like she was disobeying child labour laws) was laughing too hysterically at her to take her order. Maki squinted, and through her sleep-deprived haze determined that the barista would be a lot cuter if she wasn't practically howling with laughter. Wow, brain, that sure was unnecessary.

"Oh my god. Did you just–" Maki's eyebrow twitched as the barista clutched her stomach, wheezing.

"…no, I didn't."

"You did! Oh my god, you did–" She was slapping the counter now, high, unbridled laughter bouncing off the walls. Not that it mattered, because half the people present were blasting music through their skull, and the other half had fallen asleep with their heads buried in their notes. Maki considered giving up, when a more…reliable looking barista came out of the back. She was blond with rather nice curves, but a bit too much in Maki's opinion. She looked kind of foreign. Maki quickly stamped down on the part of her brain that awoke solely to rate girls.

"Nico, what's going on out here–" In one fluid motion, the raven-haired barista swung herself off the counter and buried her face into the taller blond's back, smothering her giggles, her arms circling around her waist. Maki's hand automatically gravitated to her hair and twirled it. Weren't they being slightly too intimate? Not that it bothered her (it didn't) or that she was interested in at least one of them (she wasn't either).

"Eli– She just SLAMMED INTO THE DOOR– I can't breATHE–" The cuter one apparently named Nico broke into peals of laughter again. The 'Eli' swiveled around to face Nico like she'd been doing that all her life, and held Nico's waist, except that now she was trying to contain her own laughter too.

Did she say cuter? She meant to think shorter. Damn it. Maki cursed under her breath. Was it so hard to order something? (technically, no.) Was it so hard for them to stop placing their hands on each other's waists? (apparently, yes.)

"Is it so hard for you to stop placing your hands on each other's waists?"

Eli and Nico turned to her, looking like they'd just been caught roleplaying a cheesy Disney movie. For all she knew, they could have been. Eli looked remotely horrified and Nico smirked (but not before having to wipe the tears from her eyes). Damn, she said that out loud, didn't she. At least they were done with laughing at her.

"If you think this is intimate, you should see Eli with Nozo–" Eli removed one hand from her waist to slap Nico. "Nico! I do not do anything weird with No–" Nico ducked, successfully dodging the slap, laughing merrily. "You do! Don't deny it– ow!" Nico's grin turned into a grimace as the failed slap came down as an inescapable karate chop instead.

"Eli, you gotta embrace your true SELF– woah! You've already injured me, there's no need to do it again– wait, NO ELI NOT THE FACE! NICO-NII'S BEAUTY IS ESSENTIAL TO FINDING A CURE TO CANCER AND ATTAINING WORLD PEACE, YOU KNOW THAT!"

This was extremely weird to witness, mostly due to the fact that their arms were largely still around each other's waist.

Maki raised an interrogating finger. "As a medical student, I find that statement incredibly insulting."

"Ooooh, you've insulted the Potential Love Interest," Eli stage-whispered very loudly. "With a capital P and L and I." Maki tried to ignore her and failed, flush creeping up to her ears. She realised too late that she was twirling a tuft of her hair again.

Nico squinted at Eli. "Are you high?"

"No."

"Are you high on Nozomi?"

"Well…"

Maki slammed her palms on the countertop in frustration. "I just want a tomato sandwich and whatever coffee you've got with four expresso shots, let the customer buy something and leave!"

Eli blinks owlishly, like a switch flipped in her brain. Thank god, hopefully she would realise they were running a lousy business and do their job–

"But Nico doesn't want you to leave. Look at her, you can tell! She's like a puppy!"

"…did you just compare the great Nico-Nii to a puppy?"

Maki wonders why she ever had hope. What the hell is a 'Nico-Nii'? She violently slams her face onto the same counter. She takes a moment to appreciate how hardy the counter is, and contemplates asking where they bought it, but decides against prolonged exposure to these idiots. Maki wants to cry. The one place that sells tomato sandwiches and coffee in the same place, and its employees consisted of one cute idiot (did she just think that? Damn) and a bigger blonde dork.

…..

Eli eventually shuts up long enough to let Nico take down the hot girl's order and finally know that her name is Maki. When Maki storms off to find a table, Nico yanks Eli down under the counter. Hard.

"Did you have to say that?" Nico hissed in Eli's face. Eli noticed with some sort of satisfaction that a flush was creeping up her neck.

"No way, the great Nico-Nii is actually interested in someone? Excellent, now I have something to insult you with when you tease me about Nozomi." The smaller girl met this statement with a close proximity headbutt.

"Eli, I'm being serious here!" Nico took off her hair ties and ran her fingers through her tangles.

Eli contemplated poking at how Nico was never serious with anything in the first place, but decided that it was time for her to actually give advice and get back some Friend Points that she'd just thrown away in the last three minutes. "Well, you are literally in an overused coffee shop alternate universe scenario, so throw some flirty lines at her on the coffee cup and wink at her or something. Girls love that kind of thing." Eli paused. "That… might not be a good idea on finals week though. She's a final year, isn't she? Go wish her luck or tutor her or slip in an extra expresso shot in her coffee like you're planning to drug her, just do something before you explode."

Nico blinked. "You know what? I'm gonna do all of that. Except tutor her. The nico-nico-nii way."

Maki closed her eyes as terrified shouts of "NO, NOT THE NICO-NII WAY. HAVE YOU LEARNT NOTHING FROM THE GRADUATION PARTY LAST YEAR?" and "I'M A FREE SPIRIT, NOTHING CAN STOP ME– wait damn Nozomi has dibs on that title–" attacked her senses. She counted to three, breathed deeply, opened her eyes and– damn it, they were still there. And her coffee or her sandwich wasn't. What kind of customer service was this?

Nico finally called her name just as she was frantically pulling her hood over her head in an anguished effort to stop her brain from thinking what other kinds of customer services Nico could possibly provide. She marched up and snatched the food from the object of her frustration. Stop being so gay, Maki, she hasn't even given an indication of interest yet–

"You probably already know that I'm Nico, but I also respond to Nico-Nii or Hot Stuff." Cue suggestive wink.

Maki cursed under her breath. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to strangle herself, Nico, or her brain.

"You're kind of red? Are you alright? Heelloooooo?" Nico waved a hand in front of Maki's face. "Eli, I think I broke her."

Eli's face poked out from under the counter, wide and innocent. Traitor. "Isn't that good?"

"No!" Nico was horrified.

"…I'm not broken." Maki violently shook her head and took a swig of her coffee. Nico jumped back, screaming, "SHE'S ALIVE!" Eli squinted. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. She could be not-broken but still dead. You never know these days."

Maki staggered back to her table. Nico, who was actually trying to do something decent, stacked up her papers, which had decided to fly off the table, and plopped down next to her.

"…don't you have stuff to do?"

"Yeah," Nico took the liberty of sprawling all over Maki's table. Maki stiffened at the sudden proximity. "You're stuff." Another wink. Maki shut down whatever functions of her brain and scooched her chair away from the girl. She downed another mouthful of coffee, welcoming the caffeine rush. She stuffed the precious tomato sandwich in her bag with vigour before it fell off the table.

"I'm leaving."

"You forgot a napkin just now, you dork." Before Maki could react, Nico had stood up and pressed it onto her palm, and closed Maki's fingers around it, pink uncharacteristically dusting her cheeks. "You can't throw it away, yeah?"

With a shake of long black hair, Nico had darted into the back of the shop, leaving Maki standing in confusion, a napkin pressed in one hand and her coffee held in another. She unfolded the napkin and her magenta eyes scanned the scribbly handwriting while she took another sip of coffee. Honestly speaking, she wasn't sure if she had been expecting this or not.

Hey Maki!

Good luck for your finals, tell me if you NICO-NICO-NEED any tutoring! Eli has some contacts. (I'm not the best person to tutor anybody, ahaahahh ha h a.)

If it's a little too late for that, then just know that your awesome senior is rooting for you! Eli doesn't count, she's just a dork. I'm the awesome one. Wait, don't tell her I said that. I mean, wrote that. I'm sure you'll ace them anyway, you look really smart.

Watch out for glass doors, I wouldn't want you falling for anyone other than me~ 3

Yours, (most definitely yours)

Hot Stuff

(Yazawa Nico)

P.S. check the base of your coffee cup!

P.P.S. if you spill your coffee on yourself while trying to see the base, I will laugh very hard.

Maki eventually maneuvered into an uncomfortable position to see the base without spilling the coffee on herself. On the base was a phone number, and an even more hastily scribbled note.

Call me anytime! I'll always have time for you oh my god that was so cheesy I'm gonna bury myself in a hole now b y e

With her heart hammering against her ribcage, Maki tapped the 'new message' button in her phone.

Somewhere hidden in the back of the shop, Nico choked.

Bury me in that hole too.

…..

Nozomi wears earplugs to work.

This originally had a proper plot, I promise it did but it flew out of the window.

Reviews, whether good or bad, are appreciated! I apologise with how weird this is it was meant to be normal

/screaming from second hand embarrassment and nice people