AN: I've read a LOT of MerDer fics but have never written my own so this is my first attempt! Grey's has been my favourite programme since Season 1 but I stopped watching new episodes from 11x20. Being from the UK I have the benefit of finding out what happens before its aired over here so I was absolutely distraught to find out that Shonda had massacred her own show but I spared myself the trauma of seeing it played out. I still watch Grey's at its best (Seasons 1-10) but it's not Grey's without Derek so I'll never watch a new episode. I fell in love, like many of you, with the MerDer legend right from the start and in my world they get their happy ending, their lifetime, their 110 years...so without further ado, let's begin :)

Derek Shepherd sat alone in a corner of Emerald City Bar, elbows propped on the table as he nursed the last drops of his scotch, contemplating the sad tale of events that led him to be sitting there right now. He still couldn't quite believe that not 24 hours prior he had been in New York, and now after packing up everything he owned, or at least the things he cared to keep, he was two and a half thousand miles away on the opposite coast ready to start a new job and hopefully a new life. A dry chuckle escaped his lips as he thought about the reason he had taken such a drastic step – everything about his life in New York had been wrong, not even just the most recent carnage, but everything – he couldn't remember the last time he had actually been happy and that was just…sad.

A velvety giggle broke Derek out of his reverie and he looked up to find the source of his distraction. His eyebrows rose as his eyes fixated on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The woman was sat at the bar in a floor length black dress that subtly highlighted her every curve. He could only see her face in profile as she laughed with the bartender, but her delicate features proved to him that she was indeed beautiful – a natural beauty, one that didn't require effort. Derek simply sat and studied her, smiling as he heard that giggle again. His problems didn't seem so heavy anymore as he walked over to where she sat at the bar, catching the bartenders eye in the process.

"Hey doc", Joe greeted him.

"Double scotch, single malt please", Derek requested as Joe nodded and left to get him his drink, leaving him alone with the woman who had captivated him quite spectacularly. The woman glanced quickly at him then back down to her drink. Derek felt like a teenager - butterflies invaded his stomach as he sat there smiling at her, trying to get one of his many brain cells to conjure up something intelligent to say. "So is this a good place to hang out?" Derek inwardly cringed at the incredibly cheesy line that had found its way out of his mouth. He never had problems talking to women – he was always confident and charming but for some reason this mystery woman made him feel nervous.

The woman looked cautiously back up at him, "I wouldn't know, I've never been here before".

"Oh you know what, I haven't either. First time here – I'm new in town" Derek replied, gaining a bit of confidence. "I've never been to Seattle, but I got a job so…" He looked back at the woman, expecting her to reply but found her avoiding his gaze and concentrating on her drink. "Ah, you're ignoring me", he stated.

The woman returned her gaze to Derek, "erm, trying to", she replied with a small smile.

"You shouldn't ignore me" Derek countered.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love". Derek smiled, a huge smile that reached his eyes and made his irises sparkle. This in turn elicited an equally impressive smile from the woman, which served to intensify Derek's smile further.

"Really?" she asked dubiously, her interest now piqued.

"Oh yes"

"So if I know you I'll love you?"

"Oh yes" Derek assured her.

"You really like yourself huh?" the woman replied, amused.

"Just hiding my pain" Derek told her, remembering how true those words really were. This elicited that velvety giggle he couldn't get enough of and he laughed along with her, his eyes never leaving hers. "So what's your story?"

"I don't have a story, I'm just a girl in a bar". The woman smiled at Derek, her attention now totally on him. "What's your story?"

Derek felt drawn to this woman, in a way he'd never felt drawn to anyone before, even though he'd only known her for a matter of minutes, and for some reason he wanted her to know him. "Well right now, in this moment, I feel like just a guy in a bar, but if you let me buy you another drink I'll tell you my story"

The woman regarded Derek, a smile forming on her lips "Ok" she replied, holding out her hand "Meredith" she added as she offered him her hand, taking his in hers and shaking it lightly.

"Meredith" Derek repeated, liking the way it sounded and deciding it suited her perfectly, "Derek" he added, not breaking eye contact and keeping hold of her hand a little longer than necessary.

After getting their drinks, Meredith and Derek went back to his table. Meredith smiled as Derek pulled a chair out for her before sitting down himself. She had planned on spending the evening alone, having a few drinks to quell her nerves about being a real doctor tomorrow and then retreating home for a couple of hours sleep before getting up to begin life as an intern. Derek had thrown a spanner in that plan but he was charming and admittedly very easy on the eye, and to be honest talking to him was easing her nerves more so than the alcohol was. "So, you promised me a story".

Derek gave her a sad smile, he wasn't sure how his story would go down but he felt compelled to share it with her. He didn't have any friends in Seattle and it would be nice to have someone to talk to. "Well, I arrived in Seattle exactly…6 hours ago" he stated, glancing at his watch. "I'm from New York so this is very different for me – it's very green, and rainy".

Meredith chuckled "It is but you get used to it"

"So you're from around here then?" Derek asked.

"Yes and no" Meredith replied, gaining a confused look from Derek, "but we're talking about your story not mine. What brings you all the way from New York?"

"I needed a change – my life in New York was all wrong, I hadn't been happy in a very long time. I like to think I'm a happy person…but I've only just realised that I can't remember the last time I actually was", Derek started to explain.

"That's a big change"

"I needed a big change – I couldn't stay there anymore" Derek added, looking down at his glass. This next bit was the hard part, the part that could send her running for the door, "I'm married". He chanced a glance at her face and saw, as expected, a surprised and confused expression as she looked to his ring finger for confirmation, but didn't find any. If he wasn't mistaken he thought he also saw a flicker of disappointment too. "Separated" he continued quickly. To her credit she didn't look like she was about to bolt, but nodded almost imperceptibly, giving him a cue to continue. "…About a week ago I unlock my front door, go inside my house and something's different. Nothing's different, everything's the same but still…something's different. And I stand there for a while…and then I know. See there are moments for me, when I just know what's gunna happen next" he tells her, taking a large glug of his drink to give him the courage to continue. "So I go upstairs and as I'm walking down the hall I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm gunna see when I go into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me, and everything I think I know…just shifts…because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognise. And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just gunna see that my wife is cheating on me – I'm gunna see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend. Hmm…it's just so pedestrian and common and dirty, and cruel – mostly just cruel" he adds with a sad sigh.

Derek looks up at Meredith, who gives him a slight reassuring smile so he goes on "I left and came out here"

Meredith regarded him for a while, taking in everything he had just said. If someone would have asked her earlier how she thought she would be spending her evening, this would not have been it. Normally if a guy would have told her something like that she would have hightailed it in the opposite direction, her life was complicated enough, but for some reason she felt drawn to this man who'd had his world pulled from under him – she could relate to that feeling. "You're wife's an idiot" she blurted, gaining a surprised look from Derek. She blushed before continuing "I mean I don't really know you but you don't seem like the kind of guy that you leave if you have a choice".

Derek tilted his head and regarded Meredith with an admiring curiosity. Whatever he had been expecting her response to be, it wasn't that. "Well I did tell you if you got to know me you'd love me", he joked, winking at her, which earned a chuckle and an eye roll from her. "I wasn't totally blameless, I was…absent – I worked a lot. Our marriage died a long time ago but I guess neither of us wanted to admit it".

Meredith wasn't sure if he'd finished so she just gave him a half smile, letting him know she was listening if he wanted to continue.

"You know what the ironic thing is?" Derek asked rhetorically, "what upset me the most wasn't that my wife had cheated on me, it was the fact that Mark betrayed me…he'd been my best friend, my brother, since we were in kindergarten. That's what hurt the most. How can someone you'd have trusted with your life do that to you?"

"I know that feeling" Meredith replied with a sad chuckle, "sounds like you've had a crappy week! ...another drink?" she asked, attempting to steady herself as she stood up.

Derek reached out quickly to grab her elbow, preventing her from teetering too much and chuckled lightly, "Yes, but you sit down, I'll get them – they may not make it back here if you go" he teased, winking at her again.

Meredith frowned indignantly "I, am not that drunk – I'm perfectly capable of carrying a couple of drinks" she insisted.

"Ok", Derek replied smirking, raising his hands in surrender. But before Meredith could attempt to prove her sobriety they heard Joe ringing the bell to signal last orders and the soon to be closing of the bar.

"Oh" Meredith started, looking back and forth between Derek and Joe, "alcohol Derek, we need alcohol…you could come back to my place – I have a plentiful supply of alcohol!"

Derek smiled mischievously and raised his eyebrows, waggling them suggestively, causing Meredith to laugh. "Don't look at me like that, this is purely for drinking purposes! There will be no sex – I don't sleep with married men, however separated they may be!" Meredith wasn't sure if this assertion was more to convince Derek or herself as in any other circumstance there would definitely be sex. Derek was…well that hair just demanded for her fingers to run through it, and those eyes – him just looking at her with those deep indigo eyes made her warm and tingly in all the right places. But she couldn't sleep with him, however much she wanted to - he was married, albeit separated, but married none the less.

Derek now laughed too "relax, I was just teasing – your place sounds like a great idea" he assured her as he stood up and helped her into her coat, "although I think we should take a cab – I'm pretty sure neither of us are legally ok to drive"

Meredith considered this for a moment – it would be fine to leave her car here overnight as the hospital was only over the road, she'd just have to get a cab in to work in the morning, which considering how much she'd drank tonight may not be a bad idea. "ok" she agreed as she started towards the door, Derek's hand providing a warm heat that spread up her spine as it rested on the small of her back.

The ride back to Meredith's was a comfortable one, filled with Derek teasing Meredith about how sober she was not, and Meredith trying (and failing) to prove otherwise. When they arrived, Derek paid the driver then hurried round to the other side of the cab to open the door for Meredith and help her out. Meredith thanked him then fumbled in her purse for her keys. Finally locating them she unlocked the door and let them both in.

Derek took a few steps into the house, looking around as Meredith locked the door. "So you actually live here" he asked, noticing the many boxes stacked everywhere.

"No"

"Oh" Derek replied, slightly confused.

"Yes…kind of" Meredith added.

"Oh" Derek repeated, even more confused, "it's nice…a little dusty, odd, but it's nice. So how do you kind of live here?"

"I moved 2 weeks ago from Boston, it was my mother's house, I'm selling it", Meredith explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Derek replied.

"For what?", Meredith asked, confused herself now as to what there was to be sorry about.

"You said was"

"Oh, my mother's not dead" Meredith added, realising his misconception, "she's…", she thought about lying and telling him her mother was travelling or writing a book – the lines she told everyone else. But he'd been so open with her about his situation that it didn't sit right with her to lie to him. "…she has Alzheimer's – she's at Roseridge, a care home nearby. I got a job back here so I could be close by to her". Meredith hadn't told anyone about her mother, as per her mother's wishes, yet here she was telling a man she'd known for all of an evening. She didn't think it mattered though, after tonight she probably wouldn't see him again – in the morning she would be an intern, the hospital would own her and she'd have no time for anything outside of the hospital.

"I'm sorry", Derek replied sincerely, "how advanced?"

"it's early onset – quite advanced…I mean most of the time she doesn't remember who I am and when she does she thinks I'm 5 years old", Meredith explained, feeling a little uneasy at having divulged so much.

Derek nodded solemnly, knowing from previous experience that words were of no comfort in such situations.

Meredith looked back over at Derek and wanted to lift the mood – her mother was not her favourite topic of conversation. "So…I seem to remember promising you alcohol"

Derek gave her a brilliant smile in return and followed as she gestured for him to take a seat on the couch. As Meredith left the room, presumably to go to the kitchen, he unashamedly stared at her retreating backside. What he wouldn't give to help her out of that dress and touch the creamy skin that he'd seen a taster of. But in the small time that he'd known her, he'd developed a respect for her – especially with how she handled his revelation. So he would respect her no sex rule and be a gentleman, plus it would be nice to have a friend in this lonely city.

Meredith returned with 2 beers in each hand and plopped down on the couch next to him, passing him a beer and taking one for herself. "Cheers" she said smiling, clinking her beer lightly with his.

"So Derek, tell me something"

"What do you want to know?", Derek asked, his eyes catching hers as they sparkled in the low light.

"Well you've told me the big things so…tell me the little things", Meredith replied, taking a sip of her beer.

Derek laughed lightly, it usually took him a while to warm up to people enough to tell them the little things about himself but with this captivating woman who's living room he was now sitting in, he felt comfortable enough within mere hours to share one of the worst times of his life. "All right. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. I have, uh, nine nieces. Five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Um, favourite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favourite band, The Clash. My favourite colour is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead, that's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore…"

The night passed quickly with Meredith and Derek talking non-stop, laughing comfortably together, teasing each other and learning years' worth of details about each other. They eventually fell asleep about 4am, Meredith's head resting on Derek's shoulder and his arm draped lightly over her shoulder. To anyone viewing this scene it would seem to be a familiar gesture, a habit, one that they would do every day for the rest of their lives.

Meredith awoke about an hour later due to the beginnings of sunlight streaming through the living room window. She opened her eyes gradually, slightly confused as to where she was. She felt the start of a hangover setting in but as consciousness fully grasped her she realised she was on her couch. However, she was leaning on something solid and warm. She turned her head carefully and smiled softly remembering last night as she saw Derek, his head tilted back on the couch, sleeping soundly. Glancing down quickly she sighed in relief as she realised both she and him were fully clothed, indicating that they had stuck to her no sex rule. Doing her best not to jar him, she prized herself from under his arm and reached carefully for her phone to check the time – 05:02 – she was ok, she had about an hour to get herself ready. With one last look at the man she had shared more of herself with than…well anyone in a long time, she tiptoed quietly up the stairs to get ready for her first day as in intern.

Standing under the hot spray of the shower, Meredith allowed her mind to wonder to where the night could have ended up if Derek hadn't turned out to be married/ separated. There definitely would have been far less clothes involved, and it could have been his hands replacing hers as she lathered herself with soap right now. Feeling herself heating up, and knowing it was nothing to do with the temperature of the shower, she decided that this train of thought was going to be very unconducive to her getting ready quickly. As great as last night had been, she couldn't allow herself to get attached because a) Meredith Grey doesn't do attachment and b) as separated as he may be, he was still married and that was a whole new level of complicated.

Finally deciding she was presentable enough, Meredith tossed a few items in her bag as she hurried down the stairs, hearing her phone ring in the process to signal the cab she ordered was waiting outside. Coming to a halt at the bottom of the stairs she chuckled as she found Derek in the exact same position she had left him in an hour ago. She was about to head out of the door but thought better of it. Grabbing a piece of notepaper and a pen from her bag she quickly scribbled a note to Derek and placed it on the seat she had previously vacated. With a final glance at the sleeping raven haired man she hurried out of the door.

Derek stirred at the sound of the door shutting, grimacing slightly as his neck complained at the position it had been in for the past few hours. Glancing around as he awoke fully, Derek's brain connected the dots as to why he was in this unfamiliar house. He expected to see Meredith's wavy blonde locks resting on his shoulder, where he remembered them being before he fell asleep but he frowned as he looked down and saw that she was no longer beside him. A note on the cushion however captured his attention and he smiled as he began to read:

'Derek, thank you for last night – I had a great time. My shift starts at 6 so I have to go…didn't want to wake you as you looked like you needed the rest. There's a number for a cab on the kitchen table (no food though - sorry!) and feel free to use the shower, I left a fresh towel out for you.

Meredith

P.s. Hope you get to like Seattle.'

He read the note twice then folded it and put it in his jacket pocket. He had a feeling he would like Seattle. Glancing at his watch he realised he too needed to hurry up and get ready – being late on his first day really wasn't what he wanted to be doing.

Taking Meredith up on her offer of using the shower, he stripped down, revelling in the humid air laving his body, signalling that Meredith had been here not too long ago. He let the hot water beat down on him, washing away the last remnants of sleep and bringing him into a more conscious state. Closing his eyes he imagined Meredith standing, as naked as he was now, in that exact spot as he slept downstairs. Goosebumps swathed his skin as he thought of all the fun he and Meredith could have in that shower.

The shower took longer than planned due to his mind wandering so he had to dress and attempt to tame his unruly locks at lightning speed. Grabbing his keys and checking he hadn't left anything behind he took one more look at the room where he had spent the happiest night he'd had in a long time before dashing out of the door to his waiting cab. The short ride to the hospital was a quiet one – he was in a contemplative rather than a talkative mood. His thoughts however were only on one thing- Meredith. He'd had a great time last night, and so had she as she had confirmed in her note but she hadn't left him her number…maybe she didn't want anything more from him – he couldn't really blame her, his life was a mess. It was an amazing night but maybe that's all it would be – a memory of an amazing night with an amazing woman that he would remember forever.

Stepping out of the cab Derek looked up at the imposing building that was Seattle Grace Hospital. It certainly was an impressive sight, he had to admit and he felt a thrill of excitement as he walked through the doors of the world renowned hospital to begin his role of Head of Neurosurgery.

Meredith's first day was going by in a blur of panic, cluelessness and feeling like she was a total fish out of water. Oh and annoyance – annoyance at being stuck with the world's most annoying teenager, Katie Bryce, who thought that Meredith was her own personal cruise director. The plus side was that the other interns she was working with seemed like good people – Izzie was very cheerful and enthusiastic but harmless enough, George was like a little puppy - eager to learn and eager to please. Then there was Cristina – Cristina was sarcastic and ambitious, she saw a lot of herself in Cristina – they would definitely be friends.

The cluelessness came back though when Katie's parents started asking questions, so she rather un-smoothly excused herself to find Dr Bailey, whom she had discovered to be rather intimidating. She bumped into her in the hallway and swiftly took a step backwards at the scathing look Dr Bailey shot her.

"What?" Bailey demanded.

"Katie's parents have questions, do you talk to them or do I ask Burke?" Meredith replied.

"Eh no, Burke's off the case. Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr Shepherd – he's over there" Bailey informed her, gesturing towards a dark haired doctor and then continuing down the hallway before Meredith could say anything else.

Meredith turned towards where Bailey had gestured and her eyes widened as she realised Dr Shepherd was Derek – Derek who she had spent the night drinking with and baring her soul to. This was bad. 'Crap, crap, crap' she thought to herself as she quickly spun on her heel and retreated back the way she had came.

She wasn't quick enough though as Derek had felt eyes on him and had looked up, doing a double take to see Meredith's retreating form. He quickly left the other doctors he'd been talking to and hurried down the hallway after her. Catching up to her he gently took hold of her elbow, "Meredith, can I talk to you for a second?" and pulled her into the stairwell.

Meredith began to protest, "actually I was…". She looked nervously around, making sure no one was listening. "Dr Shepherd…"

"Dr Shepherd?" Derek interrupted, "last night it was Derek, now it's Dr Shepherd?", he added, amused at her rabbit in headlights expression. He had been concerned that he'd never see her again but now he was rather pleased to find out that he would be seeing her a lot – every day.

"Dr Shepherd, we should pretend it never happened" Meredith insisted, praying that nobody walked into the hallway and overheard this conversation.

"What never happened?" Derek countered, smirking, "you taking me home last night or leaving me on my own in a strange house this morning? Because both are fond memories I like to hold onto"

"No, there will be no memories - I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy" Meredith stated, getting frustrated at Derek's clear amusement. "…and how is it that in the many hours that we spent baring our souls that you failed to mention that you're a doctor – and not just any doctor, the Head of freaking Neurosurgery at the hospital I work at?!"

"Well, you didn't mention that you're an intern here either" Derek pointed out, trying to hide some of his amusement at her mini freak out. "You got me to bare my soul and now you want to forget about it?" He added, feigning hurt.

Meredith looked at him incredulously, "I did not get-"

"I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage" Derek professed, his eyes sparkling with enjoyment.

Meredith chuckled lightly, her annoyance abating and being replaced by a smile "ok, I was the one who was drunk and you are not that good looking" she argued, knowing full well she was lying – Derek was very good looking and annoyingly he looked even better in his scrubs.

"Maybe not today, but last night – last night I was very good looking. I had my red shirt on – my good looking shirt and you took advantage" Derek persisted. Meredith stared at him, her mouth slightly agape but she could tell from the twinkle in his eyes and the smirk on his face that he was teasing.

"I did not take advantage-" Meredith repeated but was cut off again.

"You want to bare your soul again, say Friday night? He asked, tilting his head and giving her what he hoped was an adorable look.

Meredith looked at him incredulously, "Dr Shepherd, you're an attending and I'm your intern, there will be no more baring"

Derek coughed to cover up his laugh and Meredith tried unsuccessfully to stop the blush from creeping up her cheeks as she realised the unintended innuendo.

"We'll add that to the no sex rule then" Derek teased. Meredith opened her mouth to reply but then swiftly shut it again. Derek didn't miss the smile that tugged at her mouth though before she covered it up with a glare, to which he responded with a huge grin.

"Dr Shepherd, I need you to come and talk to my patient's parents – they have questions" Meredith told him, before turning and walking out of the stairwell.

"Right away Dr Grey", Derek smirked as he followed her.

Meredith stopped and turned around, almost colliding with a startled Derek who hadn't anticipated her stopping. "how do you know my surname?" She hissed in a whisper, then blushed again as Derek, still smirking, gestured with his eyes down to where her name was embroidered on her lab coat. "Oh" she huffed before turning back around and continuing walking.

Derek's smirk grew even bigger as he followed Meredith down the hallway. He was liking Seattle already – and there would definitely be more baring.