Oliver was standing in front of Felicity, a hopeful smile on his face. His eyes were filled with love and hope as he gazed into hers. The look on his face was a complete contradiction to his severe haircut and League robes.

"If you come with me?" he asked nervously.

Felicity felt herself nodding, unable to speak. Her stomach fluttered, she couldn't believe this was happening. Oliver wanted to be with her, really be with her. She closed her eyes, it all felt like a dream.

When she opened her eyes, she was surrounded by darkness. She looked around in confusion, fear began to creep its way up her spine. As her eyes began to adjust to the dark, she recognized where she was. Her breath caught in her throat and her body froze in terror.

The cell.

She was in the cell in Nanda Parbat.

She looked around frantically, trying to find an escape. She spotted Oliver, standing at the door. He was wearing his League robes but there was no expression on his face. A drastic change from what she had seen only moments before. There was no sign of the love for her that had been there.

She dove towards the door, desperate to leave the cage.

"Oliver," she screamed as he swung the door shut. The slam echoed against the stone walls.

He gave no indication of hearing her, he only stared coldly at her. His eyes and face were completely devoid of emotion.

"Oliver, what are you doing?" she begged desperately. She clung to the bars in the blocked the small window on the door.

He still gave no response. He raised his arm and threw something into the cell. Felicity looked behind her, she watched as two small capsules split open when they hit the floor. They emitted a hissing sound as the cloudy gas began filling the room.

Felicity began coughing as the gas filled her lungs. She banged her fists against the door, trying to break it down. She looked up, Oliver still stood at the door, watching her. He made no move to help her, to save her.

"Oliver," she gasped, choking on the gas. "Help me! You promised you'd always help me! I trusted you!"

Oliver turned away, he walked down the hall, away from her, ignoring her desperate pleas.

Nyssa stood at the end of the hall, waiting for him. She was wearing formal robes, dressed for a wedding. Oliver took her hands in his. Felicity could hear them speaking, repeating vows, promising themselves to each other.

"Oliver," she croaked. "Please. Come back. Help me. Don't leave me."

Her knees gave out beneath her and her body slid down the door. Tears poured from her eyes as she continued to call out for Oliver, begging him to come back. Her eyelids grew heavy as the gas clouded her mind, her movements were slow and her body felt heavy. She could feel her mind slowly drifting off as the room around her began to fade away…

"Felicity!"

Felicity jerked up in bed. Her heart was racing in her chest and she found herself unable to catch her breath. Her whole body was shaking as her gaze flew around the room, trying to recognize her surroundings.

"Felicity." A familiar voice broke through her panic. She felt familiar hands grasping her face, holding her tear stained cheeks. "Hey, I'm here. You're safe."

It took a moment for Felicity's panicked mind to catch up, to recognize the voice that called to her and the hands that held her.

Oliver.

She could feel her body begin to relax slightly under his touch. She curled into him as he rubbed small circles on her back. After a few minutes, she felt her breathing and pulse lower to their normal rate.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Oliver asked softly, he pulled back from her slightly. He carefully brushed her messy curls behind her ears so he could see her face.

Felicity sighed tiredly, she pulled her knees to her chest and tried to recall her dream. This was the first panic attack she had had since leaving Starling City with Oliver two weeks earlier.

But as the images of her nightmare flashed behind her eyes, she felt the panic return. Her heart began to race in her chest, echoing in her ears. Her entire body began to shake and it suddenly felt overheated. Her breath came out in jagged gasps.

Because it hadn't been just a nightmare, she reminded herself. It had been memories. Oliver had locked her and the team in a cell and poisoned them, he had tried to kill them. With that terrifying thought, all the feelings of fear and panic came rushing back, completely overcoming her. She shoved herself away from Oliver and jumped off the bed. She raced to the other side of the room and pressed herself against the wall. Trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

"Felicity?" Oliver asked in alarm. She could hear the concern in his voice but she couldn't stop thinking about her dream. In her panicked state, she found it difficult to separate what had really happened that night, from what her mind had created in her nightmare.

He took a few hesitant steps towards her, his hands raised in surrender. His movements were slow and careful, as if he were approaching a caged animal. Felicity watched him, her eyes wide with fear. Once he was within a few feet of her, he reached his arm out to touch her. She flinched and a small whimper escaped her lips, her heart was still pounding in her chest as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Please, don't hurt me," she sobbed between gasped breaths.

Her words caused Oliver to stagger in his steps, falling back and a look of hurt crossed his face.

"Felicity?" he questioned, his tone filled with confusion. "What.. Are you…"

Felicity slid down the wall, hugging her knees to her chest, she tried to make herself as small as possible. She gasped for breath as sobs racked her body. Her mind was filled with images from her dream. She brought her hands up and covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.

Oliver watched Felicity as she began to mutter to herself. He felt a desperate need to help her, to comfort her. But he knew that wouldn't help right now. He slowly lowered himself to the floor, sitting a few feet away from her. He nervously rubbed his fingers together as he fought the urge to reach out to her.

"It's not real," she whispered to herself, trying to reassure herself. "It was just a dream. But it was real. He locked us in a cell. But it was to save us. It's over. It happened, but it's over. It's over."

Felicity's panicked whispers hit Oliver like a train, knocking the air out of him. From what she was repeating, it didn't take much for him to figure out what she had seen in her nightmare.

Nanda Parbat.

But more specifically, the night that she and the team had returned to Nanda Parbat, and tried to stop Ra's from poisoning the city. But they had been captured and in order to prove his loyalty to Ra's, he had locked them in a cell and poisoned them. He had had to ignore their desperate pleas, begging him to help them, to save them. The pleas still echoed in his ears, haunting his own dreams.

The team had been safe, unbeknownst to them, Merlyn had given them the cure to the virus, keeping them safe. Oliver never would have done it otherwise. He never would have risked them. He never wanted to hurt them, but it had been necessary. In order to take down Ra's, both sides had to believe that he was under Ra's' influence.

And he hated himself for it. He hated that he had done it, that the had betrayed their trust the way he did. He had seen his choices as the only option. He had thought that he would die taking down Ra's and he had accepted that. He would rather have died, saving the city, saving his friends, than allow Ra's al Ghul to destroy everything. But then he hadn't died, he had survived, he had found another way.

Don't fight to die, fight to live.

Felicity, once again, had helped him find another way. She had believed in him, helped him believe in himself. And he had won, he had defeated Ra's. And now, he had to live with his actions, and the consequences of those actions.

John still hadn't forgiven him, maybe never would. And Oliver understood why; what he had done was unforgivable.

But Felicity, he thought that when she agreed to leave with him, that meant she had forgiven him. That she had been able to move on, look over his actions. They hadn't spent much time talking about it. But as Felicity's nightmare and current state showed, she was still being affected by his decisions. Maybe she hadn't forgiven him. Maybe she wouldn't. Maybe, she would change her mind, regret her decisions to be with him. Maybe, he feared, she would leave him.

Oliver pushed those thoughts away. That wasn't important right now. Felicity, and making sure that she was okay, that was what was important. He shook himself out of his thoughts and focused his attention back on Felicity.

She was still curled in a ball, pressed against the wall. She had stopped muttering but was still struggling to catch her breath, tears spilled down her cheeks, from her eyes that were still tightly closed.

"Felicity," Oliver called her name softly.

She didn't respond.

"Felicity," he repeated, his voice a little louder. "I know you're scared, but you're safe. And you need to breathe. Can you do that for me? Deep breath in, slowly let it out."

A whimper escaped Felicity's lips as she pried her eyes open. Her blue eyes, that Oliver had grown used to seeing filled with love and happiness, were wide and filled with fear and terror.

"Come on, hon. Take a deep breath in," he coached her in a gentle tone. "Hold it and slowly let it out."

Felicity tried to focus on Oliver's voice and his instructions as he repeated the words again. She struggled to take a deep breath in.

"You're safe, Felicity. No one is going to hurt you," Oliver promised. "I am not going to hurt you. You are safe."

After a few minutes, Felicity could feel her body start to relax, she gained control over her breather and her pulse returned to its normal rate. She closed her eyes and took one more deep breath in through her nose, she held it for several seconds before slowly releasing it. She opened her eyes, and looked around. Her gaze found Oliver's, his eyes were full of concern, his posture was tense, as if he was holding himself back, he was rubbing his fingers together at his side.

"I'm okay," Felicity whispered, her voice was hoarse. She tried to smile at Oliver to reassure him, but it felt more like a grimace.

"No, you're not," Oliver countered softly. He moved closer to Felicity, he carefully took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers, he could still feel a slight tremor in her hands. "I've never seen you have a panic attack that bad and you've never reacted like that towards me. We should, we need to talk about it."

Felicity looked down at their hands and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing it nervously. She looked up, a fake smile plastered across her face.

"Oliver Queen," she teased. "Willingly wanting to talk? Should I be recording this?"

"You don't have to be funny for me," he assured her. "We need to talk about what happened. What I did."

At Oliver's words, Felicity pushed herself closer to Oliver. She buried her head into his chest, her body tensed as she nodded. She took a few more moments, cuddled against Oliver before she pulled away. She kept their hands clasped together, gently rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.

"I don't know where to start," Felicity muttered. Oliver waited, never taking his eyes off of her face. "But I need to ask you not to interrupt me. I need to get all of this out, without stopping, or I might not be able to."

Oliver nodded his consent.

"From the beginning, I never wanted to believe that you were working with Ra's. That you had forgotten us, or were brainwashed or whatever. Nyssa came to us, she explained that you were under her father's influence. But I didn't want, couldn't believe that I had lost you. I needed to believe that there was a part of you, a part of the Oliver that I fell in love with, that was still in there somewhere.

"But then, you kidnapped Lyla, your best friend's, your partner's wife. And you left Sara there, unprotected, not that I'm saying you should have taken Sara too. But you left her there, alone.

"And I tried, I tried to get through to you. I needed some sign, that you were still in there somewhere. But you were cold. It was like you didn't even recognize me. You were standing in front of me, and I barely recognized you. It was like someone had taken over your body. Your soul was gone. And that terrified me.

"When we went to Nanda Parbat to stop Ra's from releasing the virus, I think there was still a part of me that held onto to a small piece of hope that we'd save you too. And you told us to trust you. But then, we found out that you were marrying Nyssa and you threw us in that prison, that cage. And you killed us, or we thought you did.

"You have no idea. No idea," Felicity emphasized. "How that felt. How terrifying that was. Over the last three years, I have seen things that I never even dreamed about, not in my worst nightmares. I have seen half a city be brought down around me; I have been shot; I have faced Slade Wilson; I watched my ex boyfriend, come back from the dead. But none of scared me as much as this.

"I thought I was dying. And it wasn't fast, Oliver, it was slow and painful. And I had to watch as Laurel and Ray lost consciousness first as we all choked on our own breath.

"And even then, as we thought we were dying, because of you. All I could think of was you. How we had wasted so much time, time that we could have been together and happy. And how I could have done so much more. There was so much I would miss. I'd never get married or have kids. I wouldn't get to watch those kids grow up and have families of their own. And I wanted all of that, with you.

"And then I thought, if we died, who would save the city. If we were all gone, who would protect the city. And then it all went black.

"But somehow, we woke up, we were okay. Merlyn explained what you had done, how you had kept us safe and how he had helped. But before I could even process that, we had to leave because we weren't done yet. We still had a city to save. And we did. Once again, we saved the city.

"But, honestly Oliver, finding out that you had planned to die, that hurt almost as much as thinking that I was dying. You were willing to die to save the city because that it was you do. You sacrifice everything to keep the city safe. But this time, no one would have known. You would have died, but died a villain. And you don't deserve that. You deserve more. After everything you've done for the city, what you've sacrificed, what you've lost, you deserve more than dying with the world believing that you're a villain. You may not believe that, but I do."

Oliver looked at Felicity in surprise. He was always surprised by the faith she had in him. The way that she always saw something in him, something good. He hoped that, with Felicity's help, he'd eventually see it too.

"And the worst part is, I understand it," Felicity groaned. "I understand why you pretended to be working for Ra's. You needed to take him down. And the only way to do that was to make him believe that you were loyal to him and only him. Which means, you needed us to believe it too, you needed our reactions to be genuine. I understand that.

"So, I can understand why you didn't tell me, why you didn't tell John. You didn't tell us because you wanted to keep us safe. And I know you, probably better than you know yourself. So, I know that if you could go back, you'd do it all over the same.

"But what I don't understand," Felicity looked up at Oliver, her eyes filled with tears threatening to spill over. "What I don't get Oliver, is why you trusted Malcolm Merlyn. Malcolm Merlyn. He is responsible for hundreds of deaths in the city. Your best friend, his own son, included. He drugged Thea and forced her to kill Sara."

Oliver looked down, a guilty look on his face. He opened his mouth to interrupt.

"And you trusted him, Oliver," Felicity continued not allowing him to speak. "You trusted him, over us, over the team, over me. And while you can try to convince yourself that you were just using him, using his knowledge, the reality is, you trusted him with your plan.

"And that hurts too," Felicity's voice cracked as she spoke. "After everything we've been through in the last three years, you trusted your enemy over your friends, over your teammates. I may understand your reasoning, but it still hurts."

Felicity stopped speaking, a few tears had slipped from her eyes and she wiped them away. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"I never wanted to hurt you," Oliver said. "I know that doesn't make much sense, considering everything I did. But I swear to you, Felicity, I never wanted to hurt you. I just… I didn't see any other options, at the time.

"I never told you this, but when I went to fight Ra's on the mountain and he stabbed me. There was this moment, where I had these flashes, and I saw these moments of my life and the people in my life. I saw my father and my mother and Thea. But the last one, the very last thing that I saw before I fell, was you. I thought of you. And I wished that I could have had more time with you. I would have done everything differently.

"But then, I didn't die and Ra's was still alive. I still had to beat him, kill him. And I didn't even know where to start. But Merlyn did. He knew what to do and I was so desperate. And you're right, I thought that teaming up with him was the only way to do it, the only way to keep you safe.

"But you're wrong, too. If I could go back, I would do a few things differently. The first is, I would include you and John on the plan. I should have trusted you. I thought I was keeping you safer by not telling you. But what I did, what I put you through, a good teammate, a partner, should never do that. And I don't blame John for not forgiving me. I'd be surprised if you forgave me.

"I wish I could go back and change it all," Oliver confessed. "But I can't. The best I can do is spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. And maybe by some miracle, if the world or whatever gods are out there decide I deserve it, I'll gain your trust again. You'll forgive me."

"I want to forgive you," Felicity whispered. "I don't regret this. Us. These past few weeks have been amazing, I've never felt this happy. I just need time, time to understand and process everything."

"Do… Do you need to be alone?" Oliver asked, his tone filled with apprehension. "For the time, I mean. Do you need that time to be alone, time apart, away from me?"

Felicity looked away from Oliver, her face was blank, not giving anything away, as she considered his question. He watched her nervously, as he waited for her response.

"I think," Felicity started, she looked up, a small smile on her face. "I think we've spent enough time apart. I think, what we need, is to spend some time together. We need to figure out how we move past this, together."

A small laugh escaped Oliver's lips, unable to contain his excitement. He brought Felicity's hand up to his mouth, he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

"Okay," he agreed, nodding his head. "Yes. I couldn't agree more. Together."

"Together," Felicity promised.