Chapter 8

Getting a groan out of her throat had never been this hard for Lexa. She had to use all her strength to force that sound to bubble through her clogged throat.

She wondered what was going on while trying to recall what had happened. There were nothing but broken pieces of memories inside her head. The pounding headache she was having right now masked everything.

Her head slipped to the side, and her arms were raised. It took her forever to realize that someone must be moving her limbs.

She tried to move them herself, but she had no control over her body. All her muscles were pulling way too tight, and the frequent spasm was out of her control.

Then, she heard someone calling her name. That voice sounded familiar, but who was it? It was so close, like right beside her, but at the same time, it was so far away like it was coming from another dimension.

She tried to pry her eyes open, but right now her eyelids felt like two pieces of lead being glued together.

There might be a split second that she had successfully got one of them open. She couldn't focus on anything at all. All she saw was bright, dazzling light above her.

Two huge, bright blobs were hanging in the sky, and she figure that they must be the twin moons. Since when were they that bright, though? Were they the twin moons, or were there actually two suns in the sky?

She thought she saw a face in front of her. A concerned face. Someone was concerned, but about what? Her? What happened to her?

She pondered that question, trying to recall what had happened. As she did so, all her memories poured out, pushing her headache into a sharp peak.

She felt a strong vertigo,and she knew she was about to black out again, so she hung on to whatever she was seeing or hearing.

She heard someone calling her name. "Lexa, Lexa..."

There was a slight shiver in that voice, and she wondered whose voice that was.

She tried to associate it with a face but she failed. She could hardly do anything. Even breathing itself seemed to have become an impossible task for her.

There was a thick, rusty taste in the back of her throat. That taste was familiar to her. It was the taste of blood, her own blood. It seeped out, clogging her throat, making it impossible for her to breathe.

She gagged, turning her head to the side unconsciously. She wanted to spit the blood out, but she couldn't even open her lips.

"Lexa." She heard that person calling her name again. She tried to give them a reply, or maybe a nod, but she couldn't.

She drifted away, slipping into the darkness unwillingly with a confused, chaotic mind.

Bending forward with one hand on her knee and the other holding her sword firmly, Lexa panted hard. Every breath of air that she had sucked in was now clawing her throat. Every drop of sweat of hers was stinging her.

She wiped her chin with her sleeve as she raised her head to look at the training target. It was a small dummy hanging high in the tree. Its limbs were made of bundled straw, and its face was a piece of paper with eyes and lips painted on there.

Right now, the way its lips curled, the way its eyes drooped, it looked like the dummy was mocking her.

Lexa closed her eyes, still panting. She panted so hard that her vision went dark for a split second.

Her legs were shaking, and her arms were too sore. There wasn't a single piece of muscle that wasn't protesting right now.

She stared at the dummy. Jump, hit the target in the head with her sword, and land on her feet. It seemed to be such a simple task, only that she couldn't do it right. She jumped too high. She jumped too low. She jumped perfectly but missed the target before she fell down. She successfully hit the target but waited too long to prepare the landing and ended up tumbling in the ground.

Anya, her mentor, had shown her how to do it multiple times, and Lexa watched her stepping on the side of the tree, launching herself at the target, turning her torso while slashing her blade at the dummy's head and then landing without breaking a sweat.

It was so easy watching Anya do it, but then when she had to do it, it suddenly became impossible.

Anya finally got tired of watching her fail over and over. She told her to practice on her own before she left to meet some clan leaders.

Lexa tried again, despite the cramping inside her lower abdomen. She ran towards the tree and stepped on a knob on it just like Anya had done. She pushed down hard, before she jumped up. She let out a loud battle cry as she waved her sword at the dummy.

She hit it too hard, and it tilted her balance off. She wasn't able to turn her body to land on the ground on her feet. Instead, she collapsed into the ground on her stomach.

She cursed and groaned, letting go of her sword. After rolling over, she sprawled there and gasped like a dying animal.

A muffled chuckle came to her, and she jerked. Raising herself on her right elbow, she threw her sword sheath at a shrub beside the hut to her left.

Part of the shrub titled to the side, revealing a giggling young girl behind. Her messy, curly hair was covered in small pieces of leaves, and she had her hand on top of it like she was protecting herself.

She grinned at Lexa. Sunlight danced in her ocean blue eyes. The slight sunburn on her cheeks gave her a vibrant glow, so vibrant that even her freckles looked sparkling.

"Costia," Lexa drawled as she dragged herself over to pick up her sword. Then she sat down beside the shrub and threw her head back with her eyes closed.

"Getting your butt kicked by Anya again?" Costia hopped out to sit down beside her. When she saw a bleeding cut on Lexa's cheek, she leaned in and wiped the few drops of blood off her face.

"I am training," Lexa correct her as she carelessly rubbed her sleeve against her cheek. The hard wipe streaked her face, and that made Costia laugh.

"So yeah, you are getting your butt kicked by Anya again," Costia commented. When she saw that Lexa was too worn out to come up with a retort, she chuckled again.

Lexa had finally caught her breath. She turned to look at Costia. "Shouldn't you be training in the healer camp in the mountains right now?" She asked while looking at the other girl. She was mesmerizing, and Lexa couldn't move her eyes away. She kept staring at her deeply tanned skin, the sheen of sweat on her nose, her bright eyes and everything of her.

Costia leaned in and picked out a small twig from Lexa's hair. "I was doing so well, so they granted me a short leave."

Lexa nodded. "I hope that's not another way of saying that you were kicked out from the healer camp."

"Hey," Costia complained softly as she placed her hands on Lexa's cheeks. She drew the brunette near and told her, "when your girlfriend uses her short leave to visit you instead of her family first, you probably should treat her better than this."

Her words finally brought a smile into Lexa's exhausted face. The brunette gently slid her hand into her hair and pulled her close to kiss her.

After their lips parted, they both chuckled and bumped their noses for a few times while cupping each other's face.

Costia pecked Lexa's lips again, before she untied her waterskin from her belt. She handed it to Lexa, and Lexa took a few sips.

Having the cold water run down her throat seemed to have soothed her. She let out a deep breath, before she handed the waterskin back to Costia.

Costia lay down and rested her head on Lexa's lap. For a while, she quietly stared at the tall grass, the crude huts around them, the fire pit in the middle and the distant mountains.

Narrowing her eyes at the azure sky, she murmured, "it's getting hotter and hotter."

"Well, the Summer is coming," Lexa replied. She twirled a lock of Costia's hair around her index finger and used it to tickle Costia. "How's it going in the healer training camp? Have you accidentally poisoned anyone yet?"

She earned a punch in her stomach and a cold stare from Costia.

"No, I haven't poisoned anyone yet, but I might actually consider poisoning my girlfriend if she keeps talking to me like this," she drawled.

Lexa gave her an amused chuckle. "So, how's it going in the healer training camp?"

"Everything's going fine," Costia said. "I might graduate sooner than I expected."

"Really? You think you can graduate before next Summer?" Lexa raised her eyebrows.

Costia nodded. "Actually, it might be as early as this Winter."

"Hmmm..." Lexa hummed while pinching Costia's nose. "So are you saying that I might have a certified healer girlfriend before the end of this year?"

Costia winked at her. She looked at Lexa in the eyes and asked, "do you think you'd be there when Anya hands me my healer badge during the ceremony?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Lexa frowned.

"Oh I don't know, what if Anya finally decides to kick you out of her camp? What if you suck so bad and they throw you out?"

"She won't," Lexa growled. "And I don't suck, Costia. And you, really need to address Anya as Heda."

Costia shrugged. "Hey, to me she's always Anya. She's always your stink face mentor who beats you with a stick when you are falling behind but also saves you a bowl of food later."

She looked around again at those empty huts, before she asked, "hey, where are the others? Did they all leave without you or something?"

"No," Lexa said firmly as she rolled her eyes. "They are still in the forest. We had a foraging mission, and I was the first one to finish."

"Where is Anya?"

"She's at the other side of the camp, talking to some clan leaders," Lexa explained.

"Because she got tired of watching you fail?" Costia teased.

Lexa snorted. She was about to say something, but before she did she saw Anya coming towards them.

She jolted and got up in panic, causing Costia to fall into the ground. Costia stood up too and stood beside Lexa. Both of them nervously looked at Anya. They tried to avoid Anya's piercing gaze, but at the same time, neither of them was brave enough to turn away from her.

Anya stared at them with her lips clenched. She eventually turned to Costia who now was pulling every muscle on her face to maintain a serious face.

"Costia," she called her name with a calm, almost nonchalant voice. "Do you know where you are?"

"Umm...Trikru's Hedkru camp?" Costia answered hesitantly.

"So you do know that this is a training ground?" Anya let the words fall out from her lips one after another slowly.

"Well..." Costia choked.

"You are not a Hedkru (a person to be trained as the next Heda), and when there is a training in session in the training ground, you know that you are forbidden to enter, right?"

Costia licked her lips while pulling the tail of her hair locks. "Well...I didn't see you or other Hedkru, and Lexa was resting, so I thought…."

Her voice lowered as Anya's eyebrows raised. Eventually she swallowed the last first words back and said, "it won't happen again, Heda. I promise."

"Really?" Anya pulled her lips to the side slightly. It looked as if she was about to smile, but her stare and her deliberate pause made both girls shiver. "If I remember correctly, you made the exact same promise to me last time when you interrupted Lexa's training session at Floukru's Hedkru camp."

Costia swallowed hard and clasped her fingers together anxiously. "This time I really mean it. It won't happen again. I promise."

Anya didn't say anything. She just stared at both of them until they started to sweat. Then she turned to Lexa and said, "go clean yourself. You look like a mud badger."

A giggle burst out from Costia's mouth. She immediately covered her mouth with her hand and looked at Anya.

Anya gave her a cold glance, before she told Lexa, "and when you are done, take your girlfriend to the food tent. We can't wait for you there forever."

Short, shallow breath burst out from Lexa's throat. The force of the airflow seemed to have pained her lungs.

She felt pain everywhere. Inside her stomach, everything was being pulled, squeezed and twisted. Underneath her skin, there were burning flames, acid and crawling insects. Her flesh was being torn and her bones were being crushed. She felt like she was being shredded into pieces.

She tried to move her fingers. She tried to grasp something. She did lift one of her fingers, for a split second. Then, in quivers, she collapsed.

She drifted in and out for a long time, before her consciousness came back to her for a very brief moment.

There, she heard it again. She heard that voice again. Someone was saying something to her. Someone was calling her name.

She tried to focus on that voice, but she couldn't. That voice soon turned into a soft buzz. It turned into something completely meaningless and incomprehensible.

She exhaled and swallowed. The blood tasted thick in the back of her tongue. Her lungs protested, forcing her to cough it out while the muscles clenching around her throat refused to do so.

She let out a weak cough while trying to open her droopy eyes. For a split second there, she caught a glimpse of a pair of eyes.

A pair of concerned eyes. Something shimmered in them. Were they tears? Or it was just the reflection of the bright moonlight?

She couldn't tell, for her eyes were shut again.

"Costia..." she let that name slip out from her lips before she drifted back to the darkness again.

Lexa wasn't sure what exactly awakened her. It might be the bright moonlight, or the whispering night breeze. It might be the crackling fire. Or, it could be Costia's gaze.

The freckled girl was looking at her intently while lying right beside her. The moonlight danced in her ocean blue eyes. Right now, they were warm and peaceful, and only Lexa would know what kind of strong storm it could stir inside her whenever she looked at them.

A smile appeared in the corner of Lexa's lips. She traced her fingertip along Costia's nose and whispered, "you should be sleeping."

"I know," Costia breathed. She gently ran the back of her index finger along a stray lock that was hugging Lexa's face. As her finger moved down, her eyes followed, and eventually they both stopped on Lexa's lips.

She inched forward and pressed her lips on Lexa's. They shared a soft kiss, and when their lips parted, they both let out a soft sigh.

"The sun will rise soon. You should get some sleep," Lexa told her in a whisper.

"I know," Costia replied. She held Lexa's gaze and continued, "but I'm leaving in the morning. It's gonna be a while before I see you again, Lexa."

Hearing her name coming out from Costia's lips was perhaps the most pleasant things in the entire world, and Lexa melted in it. Rubbing her thumb along Costia's jawline absentmindedly, Lexa watched the moonlight shimmer in her eyes. She watched the shadow of her eyelashes and the highlight on her cheekbones. She watched the swirling emotions underneath that ocean blue. She watched her heaving chest, her slightly parted lips and her warm fingers.

She revelled in this moment, a moment where time itself had stood still so nothing could be disturbed, destroyed or broken.

She could only see her at this moment. She could only see Costia. The girl right in front of her, holding her, whispering to her. She had a bright, bright soul. It was strong as the angry sea, yet it was warm as the Spring breeze.

She buried herself into Costia's embrace. There was so much love in her heart that it actually pained her. That throbbing organ inside her chest, it sent pulsing pain into her body. She could tasted it on her tongue. She could feel it on the tip of her fingers. She could hear it in her ears. She could feel it in every breath and every movement.

It was a pain she was willing to embrace and enjoy. It was something she'd never let go.

She drifted into her dreams in Costia's arms. When she opened her eyes again, it was dawn already.

The first ray of sun peeked through the narrow valley between the mountains outside their camp. It rendered everything with a warm orange hue. The dew drops on the tall grass shined like stars, and the fact that Costia was about to leave suddenly weighed heavy on Lexa's heart.

Costia was packing, and when she saw Lexa sit up, she smiled and pulled her in for a kiss.

"So...will you be there for me when...you know..." Lexa asked as she helped her girlfriend packing.

Costia paused. "I don't know," she replied honestly. "I'll try, but I don't know if I could leave the camp during then. I might be able to request a leave but you know the rules…."

Lexa nodded. "Then I guess I'll see you at the first snowfall?"

Costia grinned. She sat down on Lexa's lap and teased, "you could always sneak out and come to see me. There is a lot of things we can do around the healer training camp."

Lexa snorted at Costia's wink. "Yeah, right," she drawled. "And then I'd get kicked out from this camp forever."

"They won't kick you out. You are the best Hedkru among all," Costia said.

"Yes, but I am not the only Hedkru," Lexa said. After a short pause, she added, "I'll see if I can take a leave before that."

Costia chuckled. "I was just kidding. We both know that you are not allowed to leave the Hedkru camp until you win that title."

"I'll win the title," Lexa said firmly. "And I'll be there when Anya grants you your healer badge."

Costia smiled. She pulled Lexa in for a long, deep kiss, before she looked into the brunette's eyes. "Lexa," she called.

"Hmm…?" Lexa raised her head to look at her girlfriend.

"I know that to everyone else, you are either the next Heda or nothing, but to me, you are just Lexa," Costia said sincerely. "To me, you are always my Lexa."

Lost in Costia's gaze, Lexa opened her lips slightly. She gave her a brief nod afterwards, and cupped Costia's face again. She leaned in and kissed her. "May we meet again," she breathed into those sweet, sweet lips.

"May we meet again," Costia whispered back, smiling into the kiss.

"Costia..." Lexa squeezed that name through her clenched teeth. The fading memories of a smile Costia made her jolt hard.

She fell down and hit the ground. She could smell the dirt, the cold dew and the crushed grass underneath her. She could smell blood, in her throat, in her nose, everywhere.

Someone held her firmly and pulled her into a sitting position again. A puff of air burst out from Lexa's throat, causing her to cough hard. The warm, salty taste gushed out from her mouth, dribbling down along her chin.

She couldn't stop coughing. She heard someone calling her name again. She held on to that voice. She held on to a glimpse of light that was prying her eyelids open. She held on to anything she was hearing or feeling right now. She hung on to this world even though a part of her told her that maybe she should let go.

She fought. She struggled. She forced herself not to fall into that darkness, but it eventually devoured her again.

A/N: a short chapter, for Lexa and Costia (who only got mentioned once in the show with no flashbacks or anything). I feel that being with Costia, and of course the loss of her too, is a very important thing that defines Lexa, so I figure I'd explore it a little in the fic. There will probably be more flashbacks of Costia, Lexa and Anya in the later chapters, and more introductions of their culture, beliefs, life and everything.

I also made up the word "Hedkru" because I couldn't find an existing word for it.

Thanks for everyone who's reading this story! xx