Unexpected Gifts

Rumple and Belle's adventures as eagles were the top story on every media outlet for a week. They were grateful that only their closest friends and family knew the truth and none of them would ever breathe a word of it. Belle enjoyed their flight so much that she was looking forward to doing it again in the future and her husband was more than happy to oblige her.

Gepetto arrived two days later to be with his parents, son and grandson. The Storybrooke resident was frightened of the city at first until Bae, Rhee and Henry decided to give him a grand tour. He wanted to stay on in New York until things settled down in Storybrooke. Cora continued her assault on the town using every bit of dark magic she had at her disposal forcing Regina and Emma to ally with the fairies for help. Rumple kept in constant contact with his former apprentice, sending her as many spells and potions as possible to aid them but the outcome of the battle depended on them.

Archie already decided to stay in New York for a while. His practice had been slow before he left and though he kept his phone turned on in case of emergencies, no one in the town called him except for Emma and Regina and most of the time it was to inquire after Henry. He only left New York for a few days and that was to travel to Virginia to meet Sharon's family. She also wanted to take him to New Jersey to meet her best friend Edith.

"I think we'll be attending a wedding soon, Rumple," Belle said to her husband one morning while they were cooking breakfast. Carina was asleep in her bassinet wrapped in the beautiful blanket Sharon made for her.

"So do I," he agreed. "Hopper's a good man and Sharon's a delight. They deserve to be happy, especially Archie after what he went through with the bloody pirate."

Belle set her freshly baked chocolate chip muffins on the table, their daughter waking the moment the scent reached her nostrils. She sat up and held her hands out.

"Not yet, sweetie. They're hot."

Carina screamed in protest.

"Carina, now that's enough, dearie. You can have one when they cool down," her father said sternly.

But Carina was in no mood to heed her father's warnings. One of the muffins floated out of the pan and over to the baby's outstretched hands before her father had a chance to stop it.

The moment they touched her skin, hot chocolate seeped out from bottom of one of the muffins, painfully scorching her hand.

"Oh no!" Belle cried as Carina began to wail.

Rumple gestured and the melted chocolate was banished and he took his daughter's hand and whispered, "Here now, dearie, Papa will make it better.."

He blew on her hand, using his magic to heal the burn instantly.

She lowered her head and kissed his hand.

"She thinks you have a boo boo, Rumple."

He chuckled. "No, Carina, I'm fine." He held out his hand. "All better!"

She smiled.

Seconds later the broken portion of a compact mirror appeared on the table.

"What is that, Rumple?"

He frowned. "Looks like a mirror."

"Judging by the design I'd say it could be Regina's. Good morning," Archie said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning," Rumple greeted. "But how did it come here?"

"Magic?"

"Yes, but whose magic? Not mine."

As Belle picked it up a hologramed image of Regina appeared in front of them. "Really imp, you don't remember teaching me this spell. Slipping!"

"What's happening?" he asked, ignoring her jibe. He knew it had to pretty dire for her to contact him this way.

"My mother...need I say more...she's on her way there...and she may be headed to Bellevue."

Archie dropped his coffee cup and backed away in horror. "No...No!"

"Regina...how did she find out where we are?" Belle demanded.

"She...she has my heart..."'

Emma's image appeared beside Regina's. "She tortured her...but please believe Regina did NOT tell her willingly. We both had a block on our memories...Cora found a way to break through with hearts. Gold, tell me you did NOT teach her that!"

"Relax, dearie. I didn't. Some of what she knows she didn't learn from me. And she forgets-this is MY town. And as Guardian I can counter her by being two steps ahead," Rumple answered.

"And if she releases Hook...he'll come after all of us..."Archie said fearfully.

"She isn't. Because Hook won't be there to get released," Rumple replied grimly.

"What are you going to do?" Belle asked.

"I'm going to send him back where he belongs. To Neverland," he replied. Then he indicated the Once Upon a Time book.

"Hell would be more appropriate," Archie said under his breath.

"Yes, well, he hates Neverland just as much," Rumple smirked. Then he said to Regina, "Don't worry, I'll get your heart back before I send Cora on a one way trip."

"We're coming out there," Emma said firmly. "You're not dealing with her alone."

"We've hit her with everything we had...but she's learned a lot since we last saw her...more dark magic than either of us have ever used," Regina confessed sadly.

"And she's not coming alone...apparently Regina has a sister," Emma added.

"I've learned a lot too," Rumple replied. "What sister?"

"The Wicked Witch of the West," Regina laughed bitterly. "Her name's Zelena. Green, rides a broom and everything? You know her?"

Rumple scowled. "We've met. That spoiled snip wanted to be my new apprentice long ago-I had her on a trial period for a week. That was all I could handle of her fixation before I sent her away. She wanted to kill you and take over. But don't be fooled by her woe is me act. She's as vicious as her mother and as good a conman as her papa, Jonathan the gardner."

"Did you know she was my sister?"

"She came to me claiming it, I didn't believe her until I did a magical identifying test. Apparently Cora had slipped up before she met your papa and wanted to spin straw into gold. And you can't climb the social ladder of prestige with a bastard clinging to your skirts, so she abandoned the baby-sent her to Oz. Or at least that's what I was told."

Emma was scowling. "We could've used that information earlier, Gold! That GreenBitch dropped in on us and threw us both for a loop!"

He sighed. "Emma, that was way before you were born and I told her to leave and never return on pain of death to my realm. I never thought they'd ever find a way here. It's not supposed to be possible except through the dark curse.

"Zelena has the slippers."

"The silver slippers of Oz?" he cried. "Oh hell and damnation! They were lost, how did she find them?"

"Dorothy. She returned to Oz and Zelena stole them from her. Dorothy was a kid and thought throwing a bucket of water would've killed the bitch but Zelena made it look like she did. So the Munchkins called her back."

"And now Mother has the hearts of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion as leverage."

Rumple muffled a curse behind his hand.

"Dorothy wants us to get those hearts back."

"And we gave her our word, Rumple."

"Yes, of course. And I think I've figured out how to corral the Queen and her annoying little green princess," Rumple declared gleefully.

Emma and Regina smirked. "You have a tall mirror anywhere in that place so we can join you?"

"How?" Belle was asking.

"Emma and I went through Mother's things and found a book on making portals using mirrors."

"We think that's how she's getting to New York since neither one of them can drive and that broom won't fit both of their asses."

"How big of a mirror are we talking about?" Rumple queried.

"Wall length so we can step through."

"Yes." Rumple replied, then summoned the large mirror from his workshop.

"That's ,Emma?"

"Right behind you Gina."

The mirror shimmered as Regina stepped through followed by Emma. Both women looked exhausted and Emma had several burn marks on her arms.

"A little gift from our green skinned menace," she said wryly. "She even calls me my pretty and has to put wicked in every sentence." She rolled her eyes. "It's like she stepped out of a bad cartoon."

"She has," Rumple snorted. "But they don't seem to realize something. As the Guardian of New York, this city is MY territory. And as such . . .I say who can and can't use magic in it."

"You can block their magic. That's interesting."

"They'll be as helpless as mundanes." He smirked. Then he concentrated, pulling up their magical signatures from his mind and weaving them into the protective web around the city. The web acted like a shield and any mage who he said was forbidden would not be able to cast spells while inside the city.

The Queen of Hearts and the Wicked Witch of the West learned quickly that this place called New York was nothing like Storybrooke. The portal opened in an alley and the moment they appeared on the street several people stopped and laughed at them.

"Bit early for Halloween aren't ya?"

"What is this Halloween you speak of and stop that laughing or I will roast you on a spit!" Cora hissed.

"Where's your broom, Greenie?" another taunted Zelena.

"I will rip your heart out and make you watch while I crush it to dust, my pretty!"

"I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too!" a girl mocked while she filmed the event on her phone.

Cora held out her hand in an attempt to conjure a fireball and to her horror nothing happened, not even a spark.

"What...?"

"Something is blocking our magic. Rumplestiltskin," Zelena snarled.

"Come along, Zelena. He's going to find out that his student has learned to be master in her own right."

'Yeah better get goin or you're gonna be late for the freak show!"

The two women ignored them and continued walking wishing they'd brought along one of those fancy carriages from Storybrooke and a driver.

"Mother...can we stop a moment...my feet..." Zelena moaned.

"No! Not until we find that damned imp!"

"But...Mother..." Zelena leaned against the side of a building and removed her boot, blood seeping through the back of her stocking where a blister burst.

"All right! Five minutes! No more!"

She was losing patience with this daughter of hers who was turning out to be as weak as Regina.

Far away, Rumple felt the icy cold tingle of invaders in his city. "They're here," he announced in a cold voice. "Which means we won't be." Then he waved his hand and muttered, "Now you see me, now you don't. Evil sees nothing." He activated the private wards about his house, Bae's apartment, and his shop, which would hide the buildings from any practitioner of evil.

"Now what do we do? Sit and wait?" Emma demanded impatiently.

"No. But this isn't the showdown at the OK corral, dearie," the master sorcerer answered. "And I need to deal with Hook while you two play a game of cat and mouse with the two witches from hell."

"Where is Henry?"

"Asleep, I think."

"Moms!" Henry threw his arms around Regina first then Emma.

He'd woken up thinking he was dreaming about his mothers until he saw them standing in Gold's kitchen.

"Henry! We've missed you!"

"I missed you guys too. Mom, what happened to your arm!"

"Got zapped by the Wicked Witch of the West,kid but I'll live."

"Mind if I heal it for you?" asked the master of the house. "Those injuries can fester quickly."

"No, I don't mind. Tried to myself but it didn't work."

"It's easier to harm than heal," he said matter-of-factly. Then he gently placed his hand on her arm. A cooling light flowed over her arm and the burn was gone an instant later.

From her seat, Carina clapped her hands.

Belle laughed. "Are you cheering for Papa, little sweetheart?"

Archie laughed. "Sounds like it."

"The Wicked Witch of the West? Why's she after us?"

Regina sighed. "She's your aunt,Henry. Apparently my mother had her before I was born but gave her up."

"And she's green with envy...literally," Emma added.

"You two fill your son in while I go and deal with our resident drunken sailor," Rumple instructed. "Don't leave the house, because once you do, you can be seen. In here, you're invisible. Cora and Zelena will pass right by and never even see what's here."

"You won't hear me telling you to show him any mercy," Archie snorted.

The sorcerer raised an eyebrow. "Thank you, Hopper. Not that I need your approval but it's nice to know that some people appreciate my efforts even if they aren't all hugs and kisses."

"I'm not giving you my approval, I just...well...after what he did..."

"You needn't explain anything to me," Rumple replied. "No one understands better than me."

"Kick his guyliner ass, Gold," Emma laughed.

Rumple bowed with a flourish. "Why Miss Swan . . . was I mistaken when I thought you might harbor some . . . feelings for the rogue?"

"Not when the sicko told me when he stabbed me with his sword I'd feel it and I know he didn't just mean the metal one." She shivered. "Compensating."

"Excuse me? Did some lowlife threaten you, Emma?" August interjected, coming into the kitchen, his hair still mussed from sleep. His eyes were narrowed.

"Ehhh just Captain Hook who thinks he's Jack Sparrow. Had a bit of a crush on me and he thought I;d just fall at his feet like some bimbo. Nope."

August hugged her. "Idiot! You were never that kind of girl. And I oughta know. It took me over a week to convince you to go out for a drink, much less a date." He kissed her lightly. "Miss me?"

"You know I did...and I'll be showing you how much later."

"Get a room!" Regina huffed.

"Mine's down the hall," August replied slyly.

"Restrain yourselves please," Rumple said dryly. "There are children present." He gestured pointedly at Henry and Carina. "Be back soon, dearies. Try to not to kill each other or wreck my house."

Then he concentrated and disappeared in a puff of golden smoke.

"And speaking of rooms, you and that outlaw oughta get one," Emma taunted.

"We're just friends, now stop it."

Belle was giggling while she and Archie played peekaboo with Carina.

"Really? Mom, I never kissed a friend like you did," Henry objected, wearing his innocent imp face.

"What? When were you...?" his mother flushed scarlet.

"He kissed you on the porch one night. I was looking out the window," her son replied, laughing.

"it was past your bedtime!"

"Thank God we only have the dogs to worry about," Archie mumbled.

"I WAS in bed. I just wasn't asleep," Henry defended.

"Well you should've been."

"You're not spyin on us kid, gonna be watchin you."

Henry sighed, pouting.

Just then the doorbell rang and then the front door opened and Rhee, Bae, Gepetto, and Donna walked in. "Hey, Papa, I got us lunch-subs and salad from Tony's deli."

"Your papa's not here Bae, he had to go out."

"Regina's mother and the Wicked Witch of the West are in town," Henry said.

Bae paled. "Aww, Jesus H. Christ! I can't believe we're being invaded by the Witches of Eastwick," he groaned, setting a brown paper bag on the table.

"Does Grandpa need help with them?" asked Rhee. "Cause I could-"

"No, you can't," Bae told his offspring firmly. "Simmer down, swanmay. You leave the wizard duels to your grandpa, Hermione."

"Dad, I'm not five! I could See for him," his daughter insisted.

Bae turned his head and gave her a Look. "You let him handle it, Rhiannon Lir Gold. He's your master, you're an apprentice."

His daughter held his gaze for two seconds before lowering it. "Okay, Dad. Chill out."

She rolled her eyes at Henry. "Parents!"

"Watch it, swanmay. Before I eat your prosciutto and mozzerella hoagie," Bae threatened. "Uh . . ..I didn't know what everybody liked, so I got some of everything. Hello, Emma, Regina. Don't worry, I got extra, because Tony always gives Papa freebies."

"Foods food...I don't care," Emma reassured him.

He handed Carina a round hard biscuit with chocolate icing. "Here. bugaboo. Look what Tony made for you-a chocolate taralli."

"Mmm!" she cried and grabbed the cookie and bit it.

"Yeah, that's good stuff, isn't it?" her brother smiled. "That's why I got a whole bag."

Gepetto's father came in a few minutes later with a bag of Cinnabons. "Sorry I'm late. Long lines."

Henry's face lit up. "Gramps, you're awesome!"

"I'm learning and this time I didn't leave the credit card behind!"

Henry laughed. "Yeah. American Express. Don't leave home without it."

"Why do you have so many cards instead of coins?" Donna inquired. "We can't keep track of them all!"

"It's because everyone uses credit nowadays," Bae shrugged. "Now they even have an app where you can pay for stuff on your phone."

"And what is this senior citizen discount? I didn't know what to say when I was asked about it at another store?"

"Umm . . . that's for people over 65. Because so many elderly people here live on fixed incomes they get a ten percent discount in some stores and restaurants."

Belle chuckled. "They give it to Rumple all the time and he just lets them!"

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth," August chuckled.

Bae placed Rumple's Italian hoagie with sliced banana peppers beside his place. It was labeled "For My Paisan-Rum."

"I'll put this away until he gets back Bae. It may be a while," Belle said.

"Okay, Mama. Better put away some taralli too. You know he'll get cranky if he doesn't have his chocolate fix."

"He gets cranky, I go insane. Remember the great KIt Kat heist August."

"Umm yeah, don't remind me," her boyfriend laughed.

"So what was it Miss Swan?" Regina asked curiously.

"Just us cleaning a coupla stores out of their Kit Kat stock."

"Sorta like Papa when Mama was pregnant. He bought out the Godiva store," Bae snickered.

"We were using the five finger discount."

Bae nodded, he too had used that discount when he had first arrived in this world, with nothing save the shirt on his back.

"I don't miss those days," Archie spoke up. "Lost most of what I stole when my clothes had holes in them."

"I stole people's clothes, mine were so ragged," Bae admitted. "I would have woven my own but had no clue how without a loom or a spinning wheel."

"I only stole meat one time but never did it again...it uhh kinda leaked from where I hid it and people thought I was having my...uhhh time of the month," Emma said sheepishly.

Bae cracked up. "Oh, I'm so glad I never had THAT problem."

"I remember we were at a fair once and my parents were holding the puppet show but they didn't give me any money for a snack so I took a chocolate pie that I saw sitting out but when the baker came looking for it I was so scared I sat on it!" Archie laughed.

Bae shook his head. "Bet that went over real well. Once I was so cold that I stole this old lady's quilt drying on her clothesline . . .and I was running off with it when I tripped and fell in a snow slush puddle. I swear, I could see Papa shaking a finger at me and scolding me and telling me to go put it back, I hit my head so hard. And you know . . .I did."

"I hope those witches aren't giving your father a rough time. I know he blocked their magic but I don't trust Cora," Belle murmured.

"Mama, trust him. He's always got an ace up his sleeve."

The man who appeared in the room of the patient who thought he was Captain Hook was worlds apart from the lowly spinner who had confronted Hook the first time they'd met and also from the goldenskinned imp.

Hook blinked, and wondered if this were a new doctor at first, and then if they were going to give him some more meds. He was already woozy from the first one. Until he squinted hard and then he saw a face that was familiar to him. "So crocodile . . . come to gloat?"

Rumple sneered. "Is that all you can say, dearie? I'm a crocodile no longer. But-" he brought up a finger. "I'm still capable of kicking your insane ass outta my city."

"You miserable bootlicking coward!" spat Hook.

Rumple held a hand to his chest. "You wound me, you thieving reprobate. I'm no more a coward than you are a saint."

"You're a monster!" taunted the pirate.

"Me? Look in the mirror."

"Why you-" Hook lunged at Rumple, who made the sheets on his bed unwind and wrap about him.

"Temper, temper," chided the sorcerer. "Don't make me get the straitjacket."

"I'll give you a stratjacket you bastard!"

Hook spat curses at him.

Rumple shook a finger and then a cloth with hot sauce was shoved in the pirate's mouth. "Now then, dearie, mind the mouth. Didn't you ever learn any manners? No? Well, perhaps a time out will help, you naughty boy." He opened up the Once Upon a Time book. "You know, bullies like you made me believe I was once a coward . . . until I realized it was people like you, who hurt those smaller and weaker, that was the real coward. And anyone who thought bullies were such good people wasn't worth the time I took to spit on them. There's a show tune that reminds me of this situation between you and me . . .

little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy pickings

But we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

We'll fight like twenty armies

And we won't give up

So you'd better run for cover

When the pup grows up." the sorcerer sang in a child's voice, imitating Gavroche from Les Miserables.

Then his voice changed, growing cold and hard as steel. "But the pup has grown up, Captain. And he's not playing anymore."

Then he flipped open the page to Neverland and said, "From a tale you came back to a tale you shall go, I Rumplestiltskin, Guardian, make it so!"

Then a brilliant white light shown from the pages of the book and Hook was sucked into the fairy tale book.

As he vanished, he howled, "No-o-o! Bad form you bloody bastard!"

Rumple shut the book with a snap and then shoved it back into his pocket, which was a special one magicked to hold whatever he wished. "Good form, actually. I just took out the trash," the sorcerer refuted, giggling. Then he dusted off his hands.

"Now it's time to give my old students a proper New York welcome!"

Then he concentrated, letting his heightened magical senses tell him where the two witches were located. "Ready or not-here I come!" he singsonged, then vanished from the room in a cloud of golden sparkles.

"...You want to sit down AGAIN!? We don't have time for this!" Cora ranted.

"Mother...I can't walk anymore...oooh what I wouldn't give to have my broom right now!"

"Look at you! As weak as your sister. Get up!"

"Tick tock, dearie! Tick tock!" he taunted as he appeared in an alleyway just to the left of the bench Zelena was sitting on. He tisked at her. "Didn't your mommy ever tell you those boots aren't made for walking?"

"They can still walk all over you!" Cora sneered.

"Oh I highly doubt that," Rumple giggled. "Not when they're encased in cement!" He gestured and Zelena's feet were enshrined in concrete blocks.

"Mother, don't just stand there help me!" she cried.

"You haven't beaten me yet, you bastard!" Cora concentrated, recalling the spells she'd learned through her studies, hoping one of them would counteract Rumple's barrier.

Suddenly a fireball appeared in her hand.

"Concentrate, Zelena! Remember what I taught you!" she yelled.

Rumple snuffed it out. "I don't think so! MY city, MY rules!" he snapped. "Look . . . at . .. me!" he ordered sharply, putting all his will behind his command.

"No!"

The concrete blocks exploded. Zelena conjured an energy ball and threw it at Rumple.

"I've been waiting a long time for this, Rumple," she said bitterly.

His arm came up, and a conjured shield caught the ball and threw it into the harbor. "Sorry to disappoint you, dearie. But you'll have to learn patience." His eyes glowed with a terrible power as his link with the city who had chosen him as her Guardian came alive.

His hands conjured a shield of air about Zelena, pulling all the oxygen from it and causing her to turn an odd blue color and fall to her knees, gasping as she choked.

Cora conjured a dagger and lunged toward him. "I lost mine with you a long time ago!"

"You never had any. You always wanted more right now!" Rumple countered, and the dagger melted, molten steel running down her arm. "Play with fire, Cora,. and you get burned! And I'm not playing!" he snarled.

"Mother...do something...please..." Zelena begged.

"If you want to walk out of here alive, you or your daughter, you'll give me what I wish-Regina's heart, the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman's and Lion's heart . . .and the silver slippers of Oz. Then you will leave here and never darken my doorstep again."

"Do you think it will be that easy?" Cora smiled devilishly, a black diamond appearing in her hand. "Look what I found in the vault you thought I didn't know about."

She waved her hand over it, shattering the shield around Zelena.

"Nice try, dearie," sneered her adversary. "But a royal flush beats a full house!" he growled, then he beckoned and the diamond was pulled from her hand into his. "The Master of the City is the master of all magical objects in his domain. Guardian Rules 101."

"Not this one, Rumple. I've already activated it. Now you face the one person even YOU fear...Balthazar...the first Dark One."

A puff of black smoke appeared before them. "And I am not defeated so easily...apprentice..." the spectre growled.

"You aren't my master any longer-shade!" Rumple challenged. The diamond glittered and turned pure white as he infused it with his power. "Catch!" he flung it at the spectre.

Balthazar let it fall to the ground and shatter as he took physical form. "And you are still a novice." The demon teleported behind him and reached into his chest, squeezing his heart tightly."And after I take your heart...I'm going to destroy your soul too..."

The shattered diamond enveloped the other two witches in a cloud of silvery light, knocking them out.

For an instant, he nearly succumbed to the evil in the first Dark One.

But then Rumple called upon the pure brilliant love in his crystal white heart and allowed it to blaze forth like a beacon.

Caught unaware by the fact that his apprentice now possessed a pure heart, the demon screamed in agony and withdrew his hand, which was burnt beyond recognition. True Love in any and all forms was anathema to it.

"Only if you can destroy true love. And that is the most powerful magic of all," the Guardian proclaimed. He waved a hand and his heart became impossible to take, by anyone.

At the same time, some of his blood dripped onto the pavement . . . and his blood summoned some of his allies . . .and a manhole exploded and from the depths of the sewers came a white pearly head . . . of a white crocodile.

What is your will my master?

It growled harshly, and then more followed as the great reptile slithered into the street, jaws gaping.

Kill the shade! he ordered. No mercy!

With pleasure...

The crocodile stalked toward its prey, savoring the feast to come.

Others emerged from behind him, and so did several odd creatures that looked like misshapen rejects from a scientist's lab.

We are the unloved, we are the unwanted but today we are the creatures of light and together we will destroy the darkness.

The last things to emerge were gigantic rats the size of huge dogs, grown to enormous size by ingesting chemical toxins dumped into the city sewer system by careless labs and manufacturers.

We are the Black Parade! The forgotten, the lost, the broken . . .come to aid our Master! Let us feast, brethren, upon the darkness! they cried in squeaky refrain.

Balthazar spun. "What is THIS?" he laughed insanely. "Oh, apprentice, THIS is supposed to frighten me? This-this army of outcast and rejects?"

"You arrogant ass!" Rumple sneered. "Once they were so-but no longer! In the Light of True Love, ALL are assured a place and none are forgotten or rejected." He pointed at the spectre. "Come, my little friends . . . and teach death to die!"

Then the army of crocodiles, experimental rejects, and giant rats converged upon the demon, their bodies glowing with the same effervescent light that Rumple's did.

At first Balthazar fought back, and crushed those nearest him with his dark spells, but the odds were not in his favor as the army continued relentlessly, and those who managed to get past his defenses tore at him with their magical teeth and claws, shredding his physical body.

Rumple also lent a hand, hitting the spectre with spells of pure light, for those were anathema to it, and burnt it severely.

He tastes better fried, one of the rats sent gleefully.

A crocodile wrenched a leg and chomped. Mmm! Tastes better than chicken!

Where's the barbeque sauce? He needs some seasoning, another added.

Ketchup! cried a reject, and pulled a bottle from a coat sleeve. It squirted it on the demon and then bit down.

Screaming, Balthazar attempted to go incorporeal.

No you don't. Haven't had my taste yet!

But it proved impossible to concentrate, and soon the spectre was torn to shreds by the army summoned by their Guardian's blood, each of them feeding until only scraps remained and it was the best meal any of them had in a long, long time.

Are we to eat those two for dessert? asked one of the rats, indicating the unconscious women.

"No. Sorry. They need to live. For now," the Master of the City replied wearily. "Thank you for your help. I . . .appreciate it."

Then he sank to the ground, exhaustion sweeping through him.

Master! wailed a crocodile and it nuzzled him, its glittering blue eyes weeping crystalline tears.

We must take him home.

The other crocodiles stared at their leader. How?

Put him on my back. I shall carry him.

And what of these two? He said they must live.

Bring them. But you don't have to be too careful, the large albino crocodile answered.

The other crocodiles laughed. We won't be.

Then a reject that looked rather like a malformed female picked up the stricken sorcerer and gently placed him on the back of the great white crocodile. How will he stay there, Ptah? she wanted to know.

You must ride me also, the beast allowed. He swung his head. The rest of the Black Parade, disperse! The mundanes must not see us . . . they will panic and the Master will not be pleased.

And we don't want to displease the master. Come on you lot...back home!

The rest of the army fled back down to the sewers through the hole in the street. The Veil protecting the magical creatures from being seen by most mortals would prevent anyone from noticing Rumple being carried by a gigantic crocodile and a strange ugly being through the streets.

Or two other crocodiles carrying Cora and Zelena in their jaws like so much meat.

Despite Emma and Regina's warnings, Archie left the safety of the barrier to pick up Sharon at Godiva and they were walking down the street when Sharon froze. "Archie...is that...Rumple...on the back of a white crocodile?"

"Oh no! It is! Come on!"

Ptah snarled in warning. No closer, little peoples! Or I shall break your bones! No one touches the Master!

Archie held up his hands. It's okay! We're his friends. What happened?

He . . . was hurt . . .battling the First of the Dark Ones . . .but not seriously . . .I think . . . said the reject who clasped him in her arms.

We're bringing him to his home and his mate, Ptah rumbled. He will be fine . . . with sleep.

We'll take you there. Follow us.

We serve the Master, chanted the other two crocodiles and they obediently followed their leader.

"What did they say, Archie?"

"Rumple was hurt in a battle. He just needs to sleep...those two...they have hearts that don't belong to them."

The Master called, we answered, Misfit the reject told him. We are his hands and we serve the one who loves what is lost and broken. We are the Black Parade.

Hope we get there soon...this green one smells!

The red one smells like dinner! Moaned the smallest crocodile, which was the size of a small sedan.

Yes a bad one.

She wouldn't be tasty even with barbeque.

Quit your grousing and come on! ordered Ptah grumpily. The Master needs his bed, not my back with hard scales.

He increased his pace, his claws scraping the pavement.

Misfit stroked Rumple's hair, crooning to him in a surprisingly sweet voice.

"You have a lovely voice," Sharon complimented.

Misfit smiled, her misshapen mouth crinkling in an odd smile. Thank you.

"Where do you live?"

Misfit pointed to the sidewalk. Underground.

"You live...in the sewer? Why?" She was horrified.

Misfit pointed to herself, then at Sharon. Not . . .pretty. Like you. Little people . . .scared . . . we run, hide, stay safe . . .not like us . . .only the Master loves . . . She stroked Rumple's hair again, pillowing his head on her chest, her silvery eyes glistening with adoration.

"You don't have to live down there just because you're different! You should be living up here, having a normal life!"

Misfit shook her head. Belong down there . . . my home.

"But you can't be happy there."

Not happy Above either.

"Isn't there anything...we can do..."

Archie smiled. "Sharon's a bit of a mother hen."

"I don't hear you complaining, Cricket."

It is what it is, Ptah rumbled. We serve the Master when he calls. And we hunt the evil doer. It is enough.

By then they had reached the brownstone, and the white crocodiles halted.

"I'll go in first and let them know you're here."

"Archie, I'll wait out here."

Inside Belle kept glancing at the clock, waiting anxiously for news of her husband.

"Archie, did you see Rumple?" Belle asked.

"He's outside but he's all right, Belle. He just needs a lot of rest. Some of his ahhh...new friends brought him home."

"Is he hurt?"

"Just exhausted. Come on. Just don't be scared by his new friends."

Belle was shocked to find her husband asleep on the back of a large albino crocodile along with a disfigured woman who appeared to be singing to him.

"Rumple! Oh God...is he all right?"

He will be fine, Mistress. He just needs rest. Ptah reassured her.

"Mama? What happened?" Bae came out and stopped dead. "Holy-!" he bit off what else he was going to say.

Bae went and took Rumple from Misfit, saying, "Thank you for bringing my papa home." He cast a disgusted glance at the witches dangling from the crocodiles' jaws. "As for these two-hey Emma and Regina! Got a package for ya!"

After that he walked inside, carrying his father to his bed and gently removing his tie and shoes.

Rhee entered asking, "Dad, is Grandpa okay?"

"He's just tired, swanmay. He needs some rest."

Rhee smiled. "Okay." She kissed her grandfather. "Love you."

In his sleep, Rumple smiled.

Then his granddaughter tiptoed from the room, and Belle entered to undress her husband and put pajamas on him.

Regina and Emma had removed Cora and Zelena from the crocodiles and had tied them hand and foot and put them on the couch.

"Who are they?" asked Rhee.

"Relatives and criminals," Regina said shortly. "My relatives that is."

Outside the crocodiles and Misfit made their way back to their home beneath the streets, their task fulfilled.

"Wake up, Mother!" Regina yelled at the unconscious woman.

Cora groaned and opened her eyes. "Regina?"

"My heart, Mother. Where is it!"

"You'll just have to find it, won't you?"

Regina ground her teeth.

Then Rhee spoke from the den entrance. "Actually, I could tell her."

"Who are you?" Cora sniffed.

"The White Prophetess of Lir. A swanmay."

Cora shrank back. "No! Go away!"

Regina stared. "What are you afraid of, Mother?"

"Me. A swanmay is the god of love's avatar here," Rhee replied in an eerie voice. "A swanmay's touch can bring love and healing. It can also compel you to tell the truth. Shall I touch her?"

Regina grinned. "Be my guest."

Cora struggled frantically. "Don't you touch me, you filthy creature!"

"Hey! My daughter isn't a filthy creature!" Bae snapped. "You are though, consorting with demons, lady. Be careful, swanmay. You might catch a disease!"

He watched as Rhee approached the bound witch and then touched her on the head. As soon as she did so, Cora sighed and looked up at her in adoration.

"What do you wish, Mistress?"

"Tell us where you hid the hearts," Rhee commanded.

"In my vault...in Wonderland."

"Dammit! I should've known!" Regina growled.

"Wonderland is no longer my dominion...I've been overthrown and the Red Queen rules now."

"Well then she's just going to have to hand them over now won't she?"

Cora snorted. "She's weak...just like you with her love for that knave who once consorted with your outlaw!"

Regina smiled. And that knave owed a debt to Robin.

"It looks like we're going to Wonderland, Emma."

"We need transportation first. Hey little swan...you wanna help us get Greenie over here to give up her shoes?"

Regina shook her sister's shoulder. "Time to wake up sis!" she yelled in her ear.

"Bloody hell," Zelena moaned "Listening to your awful voice is enough to drive a person mad!"

"Just shut up and hand over the slippers, witch," Emma demanded.

Zelena smirked. "The only way you'll get these slippers from me is by killing me."

"Too bad a bucket of water doesn't work on you and I don't wanna run Gold's nice couch otherwise I would toss something on you that would make you melt. Go ahead Rhee. Do it."

Rhee kneeled down and touched the witch's forehead, feeling the older woman attempting to resist her will until at last she surrendered.

"Mistress," she said obediently.

"Give Emma the slippers," Rhee commanded softly.

Zelena sat up and took off the slippers, handing them to Emma.

"Now what are you going to do with them?"

Regina sighed. "I don't know. Rumple and I will have to talk about that. But they need to go somewhere where they can't hurt anyone again."

"Let's give Rumple some time to rest before we talk to him about this," Archie said wisely.

"All right," Regina agreed.

"What do we do with these two in the meantime...knock em out?" Emma asked her.

"Sleep." Rhee ordered and Zelena was snoring instantly.

"Damn! Gonna need earplugs if we have to listen to her all night!" Emma groaned. "She's loud enough to wake the dead!"

She went to touch Cora, and the older woman sneered at her. "You are weak, like your grandfather. Without your powers you are nothing!"

Rhee shrugged. "Lady, you don't have a clue, do you? With or without my powers I will always be me, a Gold daughter and a child of Anghus Og. I was born what I am and I shall die that way, and the magic is just a part of who I am."

"You tell her, swanmay," Bae wanted to applaud. "And guess who she learned that from? Her 'weak' grandpa."

"Who really isn't," Henry said. "Since he beat you two."

Cora glared at him.

Rhee touched Cora's hand. "Time for you to go nighty-nighty, dearie."

Then Cora slumped over too, snoring louder than Zelena.

Bae winced. "Now I wish I had earplugs!"

Emma took off her boots and put on the silver slippers. "Ready to go to magic mushroom land, Regina?" she laughed.

The two women joined hands and Emma tapped her heels three times. They vanished in a puff of silver smoke.

Henry sat down on the couch opposite the two snoring witches. "Wonder how long they'll be? Oh well, we can always watch a movie."

"Let's watch the Jungle Book-the live one with Jason Scott Lee," suggested Rhee, and she popped the DVD into the player.

Sensing her papa was not feeling well, Carina insisted on staying close to him, wanting her mother to put her on the bed beside him so that she could play with his hair.

Belle laughed. "You're a real daddy's girl, aren't you? Just like me."

Carina snuggled beside Rumple, her small hands twining about his hair, babbling to him.

Feeling tired herself, Belle lay down beside them and drifted off to sleep.

Rumple woke rested several hours later to find his wife and baby girl asleep beside him. He took a moment to relish in the fact that they were beside him, loving the way their faces looked in repose, like the pictures of the Madonna and child, serene and full of beauty and light.

Not wanting to wake them up by moving, he lay there and watched them sleep, magicking his phone to snap a picture without disturbing them. He would add it to his growing collection of photos of his beloved family.

Once he'd broken his curse he never thought he would have to battle his dark past again but the spectre of the Dark One had always been there, waiting for someone to bring it to the surface again. It didn't surprise him that Cora and Zelena had been the ones to do it. Neither of them would be satisfied until they had it all but even then it would not be enough for them. He would have to make certain they were locked away in a place where they could never harm another innocent soul again.

And there was one person who still owed him a favor.

Whether he would oblige was another story. The man had his moments but it was to be expected, considering who he was. He rose from the bed carefully and wrote his wife a brief note before he teleported back to his shop.

He took the key to his curio cabinet out of its hiding place under the cash drawer in the register and went into the backroom. Hanging in a glass case under a protection spell was a gold amulet with the image of the three headed dog Cerebus, the sacred animal of the Lord of the Underworld. He cupped the amulet in his hands and closed his eyes. Moments later he vanished in a puff of smoke. When he opened his eyes he found himself in a throne room, classical music playing as the occupant sat in a leather chair reading a book.

The sandy haired man dressed in a three piece Armani suit lowered his book and scowled at his unwelcome guest.

"I'm in the middle of a good part, Rumplestiltskin, so this had better be good."

Rumple giggled in spite of himself. "You sound like my wife."

"At least you have the luxury of seeing your wife all year round. I only have six months out of the year. And this is NOT one of those months. How else am I to occupy my time?"

"Demeter will not relent?"

Hades glowered at him. "Did you expect her to? The woman despises me. She thinks I abducted her daughter, corrupted her. She doesn't know my Kore as well as she thinks she does. She came with me willingly but you know all about that don't you since people seemed to think you abducted that beauty you're married to."

"This world I'm living in, they tend to stretch the truth a bit."

Rumple glanced over at the TV, giggling when he saw a large hole in the screen caused by a fireball. "Your favorite team lose?"

"No. I saw they had a movie with me in it and I decided to watch it. Flaming blue hair? And the dialogue, oh the dialogue..." The Lord of the Underworld cringed. "I'll stick to my books. So what brings you here You're not the Dark One anymore but I do thank you for the little gift you sent me earlier. I've been waiting centuries to collect Balthazar. He'll keep Cerebus amused."

"You're welcome. Twit had the nerve to attack me on my own ground-Manhattan." Rumple snorted. "He might have been the first Dark One, but he was so arrogant he ignored the fact that a Guardian fighting on his home turf is pretty near impossible to outduel in a straight magical battle. It would be like trying to defeat one of you in his element."

Hades laughed. "And we would beat his ass and send him crying to his mama." He set his book aside. "But I take it he's not the reason you're here, is he?"

"No. You see, he was summoned by two old enemies of mine-mother and daughter team. Perhaps you've heard of them-the Queen of Hearts-Cora Mills-and her daughter Zelena the Wicked Witch of the West? They thought they could attack me and get away with it but . . . I taught them a good lesson along with a few of my scaly friends from down under. Now though, I have a little problem. I need to keep them somewhere they won't be able to escape from . . . and make them sorry they ever crossed me. So, naturally, I thought of you."'

"I hope you're not thinking I'll have them as my mistresses," Hades made a face. "I take my marriage vows seriously. But...if you're asking me if I'd like to add them to my toy collection, then we might have a deal."

"Toy collection?" a wicked impish smirk spread over his face. "I like your style, dearie! Very much! How about giving them to your wife as her servants or something? Those two could use some humility and manners beaten into them. You'd never guess from the airs they put on that one was born a common miller's daughter and the other was a bastard from a con artist father and raised by a woodcutter in Oz. They have more airs than a goddess!"

"Oh Kore would love that! The perfect present for her return! She'll whip them into shape...pun intended."

Rumple rubbed his hands together and pulled a contract out of his pocket. "Then you'll keep them for all eternity? Good! Hades, I do believe we have a deal! If you'll be so kind as to sign on the dotted line . . . this repays the favor you owed to me when I helped you with that misunderstanding with big brother."

Hades summoned a quill from his desk. "Never thought Zeus would listen to the likes of you but I guess he's coming around." He signed the contract with a flourish. "Let's go fetch my new pets."

"I'm sure you'll give them a good home!" the former imp giggled, then they teleported to his home.

When they appeared in the living room, they found Rhee and Henry watching the part where the professor, Jane's father, is trying to teach Mowgli how to speak English and count. The professor pointed to his chalk board. "One man, two women . . .lucky man!"

Hades glanced down at the two women unconscious on the sofa and magicked sets of chains on them. "I'll wake them up when we get there. Much more entertaining."

"Mr. Gold, who is he?" Henry asked.

"Depends on the women, dearies," Rumple chuckled.

"Grandpa, you're better!" Rhee said and jumped off the couch to hug him.

"If I wasn't, I sure am now," he said, his eyes shining. "Rhiannon, I'd like you to meet Hades, Lord of the Underworld. He's here to do a bit of . . . err . . . what would you call it?"

"Toy shopping," Hades answered with a smirk.

"You don't look like the Lord of the Underworld. Where's your blue hair?" Bae joked.

"Bae!" Rumple groaned. Hades was sensitive about his hair. "Please excuse my son."

"Sorry, the blue hair and the crappy dialogue aren't my style."

"I can see why," Rhee said, giving the Olympian a curious look. "You know that you glow to my Sight?"

"Yes I do little swan. But if you tell me it's blue I may be ruining this carpet with vomit."

She grinned. "Nope. It's purple. Because you control the earth and souls of the departed."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

Then she asked, "How did you choose this form for your avatar? Cause I know it's not your REAL form, if it was we'd all be burnt to ashes from seeing it."

"Rhee, what's with the 20 questions?" Bae asked.

"Dad, how many times am I gonna get to talk to a GOD?"

"Oh relax Rumple! I'll humor her. I watch a lot of this world's television so I based my appearance after a man named Richard Fish on a show called Ally McBeal. Probably before your time."

"Yeah, if it's on late Dad won't let me watch it. Do you have kids?"

Rumple facepalmed himself.

"No but we're going to work on it when my wife gets back."

"I can help you," Rhee said, and her eyes glowed spring green. Then, before either her father or grandfather could stop her, she took the Lord of the Dead's hand, and murmured, "A gift from my ancestor, Anghus Og. Long ago you helped hide him from his enemies, and now his daughter repays his debt."

A glowing green light flickered over the god's hand and wrapped about him.

"There! Now you'll have lots of kids," the young swanmay declared. "Maybe even triplets."

Bae nearly fell over. "Hells bells! Did she just do what I think she did?"

Hades's eyes glittered mischievously. "Now my mother-in-law won't be able to keep my wife away from me six months out of the year anymore! Thank you, little swan! Old Anghus. We used to go tavern hopping together. Kept me sane when Kore was gone."

"True Love should never be separated," Rhee said.

"And there speaks True Love's child and the god of love's great-great-great granddaughter," Rumple said. "Though I probably missed a few ancestors."

"You did. The Og family was fruitful and mutiplied...a lot."

The Lord of the Underworld thought for a moment and gazed at the young girl and her father intently. "True love should never be separated...and for the gift you've given me little swan, I repay you with one of my own."

He waved his hands and the mirror on the wall shimmered as a portal was activated showing a beautiful garden where a young woman with ebony hair and blue eyes sat on a bench holding a black rose in her hand.

"What gift?" Rhee asked, puzzled.

"Sorcha?" Bae cried, his eyes tearing up. He reached out a hand . . .

"Hold on to the rose and step through, dear," Hades encouraged.

Sorcha stood and grasping the rose, walked through the portal, and into the arms of her husband. "Neal . . .Baelfire . ..mo chridhe . . .!" she cried in Gaelic, her voice thick with the accent of her beloved Highlands.

He took her in his arms and kissed her. "Please tell me this is real," he said to her in Gaelic, his tongue recalling the Old Speech as if it were yesterday he had learned it.

"I am real . . ." she whispered. "I am reborn!"

Then she turned and saw her daughter and cried, "Rhiannon! My wee bairn . . . ye are so tall now . . .!"

"Mama!" Rhee yelled and she ran into her mother's arms.

Rumple wiped tears from his eyes. "Thank you, Hades. You have given me a gift beyond price."

"Rumple, old pal . . .don't tell anybody. My rep," coughed the god, flushing. Then he added softly, "But I love it when families get together. My own . . . well . . . it can be difficult . . ."

"Rumple...I thought you were going to rest a bit longer..." Belle trailed off. "Bae! Is that...is that...Sorcha?"

"Hades brought her back to us," Bae was sobbing as he held his wife, not wanting to ever let her go again.

"H...Hades...the Lord of the Underworld!?" Belle gasped.

"You're not going to make the blue hair jokes are you?"

"No no, it's just…" She smiled. "You dress like Rumple."

"He got his fashion sense from me."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did. You were gonna run around looking like a monk for the rest of your life until I paid you a visit and decided you needed a makeover."

Just then a baby's strident wail came from the bedroom.

"Looks like my little dearie's awake," Rumple said and went to get Carina.

"Yeah and you can thank me for the leather idea when you get back!" Hades called out and laughed.

When he came back holding his daughter, she was now wearing new clothes, Carina was giggling happily and playing with his hair.

"Easy, dearie. You're a spinner's daughter all right with that hair fetish but you don't wanna make Papa bald, do you?"

Carina grinned impishly.

"Well she's a chip off the old block."

"This is my youngest, Carina." the Master of the City introduced her to Hades.

Carina peered at the god, then reached for his tie.

"Carina, don't!" Rumple said as her hand touched it . . . and it became a chocolate Ferragamo.

Hades pulled it off and took a bite. "Delicious. Interesting talent your daughter has ,Rumple."

"Umm . . . yes, comes from her mama's Godiva obsession. And well, you know True Love magic. It has unusual manifestations."

"Curious to see what my kids will do."

"Probably something you'll never expect. They'll keep you on your toes all right," the magician warned.

"Can feel my hair turning gray already. Well, I'd better get going." He waved his hand and the Mills women vanished in a puff of smoke. "Have a Welcome to Hell Orientation to do for my new arrivals."

Carina waved.

So did everyone else.

"I'll see you all soon," he said and vanished.

Rumple looked around at his newly restored family, then went to welcome his daughter-in-law, thinking that this had been the most surprising and amazing Easter of all, one full of love, family, adventure, and unexpected gifts.