"What's this?"

Shinra questioned him, their fingers intertwined and the warmth was seeping into his very being.

It wasn't quite enough but sufficient to suppress his desires from spiraling out of control. He'd never thought that he'd feel this way— this feeling that could bring even someone as strong as him to his knees. Truth to be told, it wasn't the first time he'd harbored romantic feelings towards someone, but Izaya was never good at letting himself receive any love.

The commitment that it required from both parties was intimidating. It was like playing with fire.

"Friends hold hands, don't they?" he laughed.

"It's not my hand that you want to hold."

"Why haven't you told him? He won't hurt you, you know. Shizuo may not seem like it, but he's very gentle with confessions, especially when he knows they're sincere."

Izaya could only swallow the truth behind his lips, staying silent while Shinra babbled on, and Izaya had himself focused on the circles he was tracing with his index finger on the back of Shinra's palm. Shinra didn't seem to mind it.

"Shizuo! Hold Orihara-kun's other hand. We're playing a game."

Shizuo's expression took one of a grimace, balancing the bent pole in his injured hand while he approached the two after the small fight he had with a group of rowdy boys.

"Eh? That hand has probably killed people. I'd rather not."

Izaya hated it.

Hated the way Shizuo could steal his breath away effortlessly, and the way time seemed to slow down as he no longer treasured nor remembered any of the humans he admired so much once Shizuo's gaze was fixated on him.

Hated the way words weighed heavily on his tongue when he attempted to utter the four-letter-word, and the way his fingers longed to reach out to meet Shizuo's, even if it means they'll be broken.

"Speak for yourself. Shizu-chan must've killed people with such violence."

He flashed a grin, head lolling to rest on Shinra's shoulder, who could only sigh as Shizuo threatened to bash his friend's skull into the ground.

"Orihara-kun loves you."

"Don't make me laugh," Shizuo gave a snort at Shinra's words, and Izaya had to remind himself that he shouldn't stray from how he normally acts despite the surprise he'd gotten from how carelessly Shinra had thrown his secret out there.

"Is this your way of saying you want another round?"

Tongue trailing along his bottom lip, he didn't think twice before answering Shizuo's question, meeting Shizuo's gaze which was boring into him.

"It is."

"Orihar—"

Shinra's eyes widened, his words of protest cut short when Izaya's other hand reached out towards Shizuo's, fingertips barely making contact until Shizuo gave them a gentle squeeze, just briefly and leaving Izaya thirst for more.

"Not here. Later."

Izaya hated Shizuo.