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The Smart Cookie Substitution

you can paint me any colour and I can be your clown

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Penny looks up from her copy of the lease, smiling brightly at the chubby man in front of her.

She's pretty sure he's already regretting his decisions - there are a lot of things that come with being a student , but a reliable source of income is not one of them.

Her new apartment is sure to take a big chunk of the small salary she earns working as a waitress, but her name is the only one signed on the paper and it feels good to have something that it just hers (and not a loan). She hopes her smiles eases up her new landlord and let's him see that she's a responsible twenty-two year old.

It doesn't, but she'd rather smile and wear bright colours then to tell herself that she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore, that the money she'll receive from her loan will drop now that she's picked up extra shifts at the Cheesecake Factory or that her ex (who cheated, mind you) won't even give her back her TV.

"Here are your keys and if you have any question…" Her eyes sparkle and for a second, he pauses. "Don't hesitate to call me or my wife." He turns his back towards her before adding. "At reasonable hours, of course." She nods, even if he can't see her and mutters a quick 'thank you' before hurrying out of his house. She's intelligent enough to know when she is being dismissed. Penny jingles the new set of keys from her tanned fingers and hops into her car – she tries to remember how she got here in the first place.

She could've chosen any school close to Nebraska, it would have been easy and convenient (but Penny will never settle for easy and convenient).

Her mom was so devastated when she'd received her acceptance letter from California State University (she'd carefully hidden her applications under her bed, in an old shoe box). Penny is smart, really smart considering her family background; which doesn't mean much. Her brother cooks meth and her sister got pregnant when she was sixteen, but Penny had dreams and drive and imagination. She'd wanted to be an actress when she was younger, but an episode of Law and Order had changed all that.

She wanted excitement and thrill – chasing wanted criminals across the country or even understanding crime scenes was something she'd see herself do. Always on the move, no real roots and owning a gun, all things that appealed to her (and home, she wanted to forget about home).

Her father was so proud to have one of his children in university, actually doing something with her life that he'd eventually convinced her mother that it was for the best.

And then Penny, beautiful and smart and only eighteen, packed her bags and got into a car with Kurt (who dreamt of being a policeman, all tall and dark and mysteriously handsome) and started the next chapter of her life in fancy Pasadena – because that's where the cheapest apartments were apparently (but she didn't care, because it wasn't Omaha).

But then one day, after a particularly long shift at the Cheesecake Factory and a four hour class, she'd gotten home to find Kurt with a pretty brunette underneath him and dreams and drive and imagination had all been shot to hell. She'd packed a bag in a rush, tears running down her cheek and called her dad, while her head smashed against the headboard a few hundred times.

And now, two weeks later, here she is. In front of 2311 Los Robles, keys in hand and the back of her car stuffed with as much suitcases and boxes she could fit. She holds the lease in one hand, continues to jingle the keys with her fingers (a nervous habit she'd perfected over the years) and takes a deep breath.

She can do this – because if she can be the only one in her family who doesn't cook meth in back alleys or settles down with the first asshole who comes her way and knocks her up, if she can get out of Nebraska and make it all the way to Los Angeles and be on the way to finish her Master's Degree in criminalistics, then there's nothing she can't do.

Except maybe move all her furniture four flights of stairs without an elevator.

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"Oh, I'm sorry." The man in front of her is short, with large glasses and curly hair. He smiles tensely at her, anxiety clear in his movement as she balances an open box with her right leg and her two hands. She'd bumped into him by accident and the box is very heavy, but he doesn't look like he'll be moving out of her way anytime soon.

"Are you new here?" She tries to keep her annoyance at bay and she's sure that her cheeks are flushed from running up and down the stairs at least six times now.

"Yeah, if you don't mind my box is really heavy." She tries to be sweet and even smiles, but it's no time to be flirting right now and even if it was, the man in front of her is clearly not her type. He smiles back, uneasy.

"I can help, here." He grabs the box away from her hands and she's curious because he doesn't look like the 'I have muscles and can carry things up four flights of stairs' kind of person. "Where are you going?" He's clearly struggling with weight and for a second, she misses Kurt because he'd carry all of it with ease, but she shakes her head and smiles.

"4B." He smiles at her. "Where do you live?"

"I'm in 4A with my roommate." She nods and wants to scratch the back of her head because this whole situation is really awkward. But Penny is many things and reading people is what she does – so she sends him a charming smile.

If he wants to help out, she won't tell him otherwise.

"Well, you can go ahead. The door is opened; you can leave the box on the floor. I'll be right up with more stuff." His stare lingers on her, but the box is rather heavy and he nods before starting slowly towards the stairs. She sighs and opens the door of the apartment building, making her way back towards her car.

"I'm Leonard by the way." She smiles, she's been doing that a lot the last few minutes. The way the small bespectacled man looks at her is tainted with lust and wishful thinking. At least he knows he doesn't have a shot – but it doesn't make this any less awkward.

"Penny." He smiles at her name and she almost expects a pick up line – almost. "Okay, well thanks for everything." He didn't help much, but her momma raised her well.

"Come by for dinner if you want, I see you don't have a fridge yet. On me – and you'll meet my roommate." He adds as an afterthought, like it's not really something he wants her to do. If he's already calling dibs on her, then he's more forward than he looks. But he looks nice enough and she actually has no plans for dinner, so why not?

"Sure. What time do you want me there?" She doesn't mean to come on to him, but she can't help it. She's flirty by nature, it comes with the blonde hair and the charming smile and the body, she does have a nice body.

"Around six." When he doesn't move, she raises an eyebrow. "Right, see you later." He turns to give her one last glance before stepping out and shutting the door behind him. She sighs and looks at the mess. Her new bed won't be in till tomorrow and her TV is on back order (it was on sale, Kurt kept the last one and she sure as hell won't crawl back begging for it or anything). She has to go shopping for cutlery and other things that can be found at IKEA.

She's making a mental list of things she needs to buy, thinks about how much this will all cost her and just wants to curl up on her couch and watch CSI, because it always cheers her up. Her cellphone vibrates on top of the island in the kitchen and she smiles sadly at the caller ID.

"Hey dad."

"Hey Slugger. How's the move?" She looks at the open boxes scattered across the floor, the clear lack of furniture and the overall sense of dealing with more than she can handle. She's only twenty-two, she's just started her Masters Degree and her boyfriend cheated on her with she doesn't know how many women and she misses her dad.

"It's okay." Her voice is small and she feels like crying again. It's just been a rough couple of weeks, okay? And from living in a hotel room and rushing back and forth from school to work, she's tired and stressed.

"I just wanted to call and tell you not to worry about money." Her eyes go wide and she's about to protest, but her father doesn't give her the chance to say anything. "Penny, your mother and I are proud of you." Well maybe him more than her, because her mother always dreamt small and her father had wanted her to get out. "I already put the money in your bank account. How's school?"

She feels the tears rolling down her cheeks and she tries to keep her sobs down to a minimum as she explains one of her classes to her father. She can do it, right?

She can do it all.

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"Hi, how are you?" She'd taken a quick shower, pulled her wet hair into a loose braid that falls on her right shoulder, put on her comfiest shorts and a blue tank top to match her flip flops before realizing that she was going to be late if she didn't hurry. She's managed to clean the closet in her room and hang up a few of her nice dresses, but she is still missing quite a bit of furniture.

"I'm good. Here, come on in." She smiles at him, he's still awkward and tense, but at least it's easier now. He's probably a little slow with women. She doesn't mind.

"Sheldon, this is Penny." She stops dead in her tracks at the equations written on the white board – she can't understand any of it, really. But the tall man turns to look at her, his hand with the marker in it twitching slightly and he doesn't smile. But she does meet his eyes and she thinks they're probably the deepest shade of blue she's ever seen, only accentuated by the darkness of his hair. Her gaze shifts back to the board and she let's out a low whistle.

"You are very talented to understand all of this." He doesn't doesn't smile, but she does notice his cheeks coloring slightly. "You are one of those beautiful genius type, aren't you?"

"I do have an IQ of 187 and a working knowledge of the world." She smiles, her eyes still straining on the numbers written in blue. She thinks, if her brother had put his math knowledge into something else than cooking meth, then maybe he could have done something like this. "Do you like physics?" She smiles.

"I do, but I'm afraid I don't understand it." And it's true – she's always admired those who were good with numbers and she isn't one of them. But ask her to evaluate someone's psyche and she's your girl. The tall one is about to open his mouth when Leonard clears his throat. Oh, she almost forgot he was there.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I ordered a few different things." She sends a glance towards Sheldon, who is still looking at her and turns to smile at Leonard because he's obviously trying so hard.

"Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you." He blushes, she can see the color spreading from his neck to his cheeks. She plops down on the couch, noticing how the food is already set onto the coffee table. She hears Leonard sharp intake of breath and feels Sheldon coming close to her.

"You can't sit here, that's my spot." In any other situation, she would have argued that he could find another seat. But his blue eyes meet hers again and there's something in the way he looks at her so seriously that shake out any protest from her.

"Of course, sorry." And she moves to the seat over, not noticing Leonard's surprise or Sheldon's raised eyebrow. She's studied too many cases with people who suffer from OCD or paranoia to argue. He sits down next to her, his knee brushing her leg and quickly pulls it away.

"So, Penny what do you do?" She smiles at Leonard when he starts unwrapping the food. She steals a glance towards the equation on the board and feels a little simple minded compared to them, well at least Sheldon.

"I'm currently working on my Master's Degree in criminalistics." Both men turn to look at her in surprise, but she just shrugs it off because she's used to it. She's a sun-kissed blond with a good body and a pretty face, people always underestimate her. "And I work part-time at the Cheesecake Factory to pay the bills." She sends a smile in Sheldon's direction who is still studying her.

She likes the fact that she can surprise people, she always has.

"But what do you guys do?" She turns towards Sheldon. "You must have a very good job if you're a genius." She's never met one before, but she always imagined those men to be holed up in an office somewhere, so dedicated to their work that they forget to eat, breath or sleep.

"I'm a theoretical physicist at Caltech." Of course he is. She nods her head at him. "If you are interested I could show you the working knowledge of the basics one day –"

"I'm sure Penny doesn't want to Sheldon." She blinks at the way his face closes off and then at Leonard for, dare she say it, being mean. The excitement has drained from his face and she feels bad (she only wants to kick Leonard).

"I would love to see some of your work, Sheldon." His eyes fill with hope and joy, just like her nephew when she promises to come home. "I don't have much free-time right now, but when I do I'd love to learn." Leonard has gone back to picking at his food, looking like someone stole his toy. She feels like touching his arm, but she stops herself.

Finally, she takes a bite of the Vegetable Pad Thai.

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When she comes home that night, she makes herself a bed by putting covers on top of one another so she doesn't feel the floor under her ribcage (she sleeps on her stomach, clutching her pillow). But it's okay, she thinks, because tomorrow she'll have a bed and a couch and she'll go out and by things and eventually – eventually she'll have a home.

a/n: new and improved version (at least in my head). Penny met Sheldon and Leonard and the rest is history. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed ~