I wrote this at four in the morning and posted it on AO3 just so I could have it out before the new Quebec episode contradicts any flimsy headcanons I have (which I believe it actually did, even though I haven't seen it yet). As such, a lot of this doesn't work with what canon shows us, but it's okay because this is just 4k of crack.

Crossposted on AO3, with a more in depth A/N there.

"That's a foxy lady."

"Chat, I swear to god you are this close to getting a lucky charm'd knife in you."

"Me-ouch," said Chat, theatrically wounded. "That's a razor sharp wit you've got there, my Lady."

"And it's gonna stab worse than a knife if you don't focus on why there's a fox girl running across rooftops in the dead of night."

Chat, with an air of absolute carelessness, just gave a smirk. "To be fair, it looks like she's just standing there."

Ladybug decided to prioritize this new girl over the urge to physically harm Chat Noir, settling even more into her crouch as she tried her hardest to make out the exact details of the girl standing only two rooftops away.

Although night vision was unfortunately not one of her powers (and she really didn't feel like asking Chat for his input when he wasn't even taking this seriously), she could barely make out the orange tint that had been so apparent when this girl had been running in the moonlight mere moments ago. The orange-suited girl stood absolutely still, backs to them, only her long, long hair gently swaying in the wind, the end of which seemed to be in a very low pony tail that resembled a fox tail, tying into the whole fox theme she had going on. You know, as if the two giant fox ears didn't make that obvious enough.

"What do you think she's doing here?" Ladybug said, not even breaking eye contact from the girl's figure as she lowered her voice.

"Either she's moonlighting as a furry that's just really athletic or she's a magical girl like us."

That, however, was more than enough for her to break her gaze and just stare at him.

Chat just snickered, obviously predicting that reaction. "Relax, Bugaboo, she probably is a magical girl like us."

"Are you just incapable of seeing how this could very well be a bad thing?" Ladybug whispered flatly. "Like, seriously, you'd think someone who might have powers like us would trip some red flags."

"If she's got a miraculous like us, then she must be a superhero like us," Chat reasoned. "Emphasis on hero."

"Not everyone who has a miraculous is good, Chat."

"I'm counting Hawk Moth as a weird anomaly."

"That is literally the only other one we know of who might have a miraculous too, and he's evil."

"So we've got a two-in-three chance that this girl isn't evil, I'd say those are some pretty good statistics." And then Chat did like, an eyebrow wiggle thing. "And I'll have you know that I am passing my math class with flying colors."

"...I can't tell if that was supposed to be a pun about the fox girl or not."

"It wasn't, but I really should've taken that opportunity, dangit."

"Chat."

"Alright, alright," he resigned, holding his hands up in defeat. He mimicked her poised position, staring intently at the fox girl. "So I think it's safe to assume she's no akuma."

"Don't exactly hear any delusional demandings for our miraculouses," she snorted.

"Still don't think she's gonna target us, especially when she's hearing everything we're saying."

"That may be, but-" Ladybug's words died in her throat, her mind just now registering Chat's entire comment. Bewildered, she snapped her head to him.

"Wait, what?"

He blinked, turning to her in confusion. "Huh?"

"She can hear us?" Ladybug hissed, the words coming out less as actual words and more as the sound of steam from a boiling teapot. "But we're whispering, how do you know?"

A bit sheepishly, Chat flicked one of his cat ears, which actually wiggled a bit in reaction. "If her fox ears are anything like mine, she probably just heard our entire conversation about furries and magical girls."

"That I did."

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir immediately froze, bodies tensed as they simultaneously snapped their eyes to the fox girl who was standing right in front of them and definitely NOT two rooftops away.

In unison, the lucky duo stepped back and poised into a fighting stance, one more ready for offensive and the other more ready for defensive. The fox girl, whose features they could see much better at this close distance, just stood casually, one arm rested on her cocked hip, the other mindlessly twirling a flute. She gave them an amused, lidded look, her lips quirking into an almost playful smirk, as if she were just patiently waiting for them to stand like casual people.

And after a few tense moments, the battle ready urges started to fade, bodies twitching in their stances as the tension slowly wore off.

Ladybug was the first to speak, eyes narrowing at the fox girl. "Who are you?"

The fox girl smirked. "An Italian girl in Paris," she answered cryptically.

Which of course just made Ladybug more annoyed than anything. If anything, that annoyance replaced the suspicion for the time being.

"And what brings you to Paris, Miss…?" Chat asked, drawing out the end of that question. Ladybug really did have to appreciate the more subtle route he took trying to get this girl's name.

The fox girl must have noticed this, it wasn't like it was so subtle it'd go over her head if she were actively trying to prolong her introduction (which Ladybug assumed to be the case). But she just idly twirled her flute, focusing more on grinning deviously at that instrument than at actually addressing Chat Noir. "I'm just stopping by. After all, it's not everyday you get to meet the famous superheroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

She even punctuated her obviously fake gushing with a hand to her cheek, her mouth making a perfectly circular 'o' as she stared at them in faux-awe.

"That's… not really a convincing answer," Chat chuckled awkwardly.

The fox girl shrugged. "Mm, figures. I'm actually looking for a friend of mine."

"Friend?" Ladybug echoed.

"Friend, acquaintance, outlaw, whatever you want to call him, coccinella."

Chat extended his baton just to lean on it, actually getting into this conversation. "So what's his name?"

"See, a major aspect of having secret identities is that we're totally clueless to, you know, the identities."

"Are we just going to overlook the fact that you called him an outlaw?" Ladybug spluttered.

The fox girl just grinned. "Are we overlooking that fact? Of course we are."

It was at that moment Ladybug was dead certain the universe was just fucking around with her in the form of a goddamn fox lady.

"But enough talk about him," the fox girl waved off dismissively. "He's got such a big ego, and it's obvious he's not around right now." She took a step to the edge of the roof, grinning slyly at the two of them. "You'll let me know if you see him around, won't you?"

So shocked that this fox girl was going to leave just like that, Ladybug couldn't really think of an immediate reply. Luckily, Chat did.

"But we don't know anything about him," he said. "How will we even know if we do spot him?"

"You know enough," the fox girl grinned, as if she knew something they didn't. Which… was obviously true, given what they were literally just talking about.

"How could we even communicate with you?" Ladybug asked incredulously, a part of her wondering why the hell she would even want to communicate with this fox girl she'd met like, five minutes ago.

"Volpina's the name and flute playing's the game." The fox girl- Volpina -raised her flute, waving it a bit for good measure. "Just call me, beep me if you wanna reach me."

With that, Volpina took another step onto the edge and poised herself into a running position. She gave the lucky duo a salute before bolting off into the dark of the night, her silhouette disappearing within mere seconds.

Which left Ladybug and Chat Noir to just stand there, still unsure as to what the fuck just happened.

After some time, Chat retracted his baton, tucking it behind him. "So I think we've gotten enough out of this patrol, my Lady, it's about time we get going. Unless you want to chase after Volpina?"

Ladybug had, frankly, had enough with superpowered fox girls tonight. As much as it were very unrealistic to believe, she hoped this would be the only time they ran into this Italian fox lady.

The second time they met her, they met her friend too.

It was another routine patrol, just as late as the last when a sudden blur of very bright blue practically jumped the duo.

On pure instinct, Ladybug hurled her yo-yo towards this indistinguishable blue figure, miraculous tying its arms and legs to its body on the first try.

Ladybug kneeled down next to the figure, Chat doing the same as he held his baton, still ready to strike. On closer examination, it seemed like this figure wasn't just blue; he was dressed in a gaudy blue spandex suit with so many frills, wearing a mask that had an equally gaudy flair to it.

"Unhand me!"

And of all the things they expected this figure to say, those two words in a very nasally yet masculine was definitely not what they expected, especially when he whined it with such intensity it's a goddamn miracle he hadn't yet defeated Chloe Bourgeois in that regard.

Ladybug didn't make any moves to retract her yo-yo's string, instead opting to incredulously stare at this boy.

He just shot her a glare with his piercing blue eyes. "Are you deaf? I said unhand me this instant!"

"I dunno, someone who just straight up tries to jump us doesn't sound like the kind of person I'd untie," said Ladybug, tapping her chin in really deep thought. "What do you think, Chat?"

"I think this guy's got a bit of explaining to do," he said so nonchalantly, and yet the steady grip on his baton never once faltered.

"Oh, huh, looks like you found my friend."

Just like before, both Ladybug and Chat Noir snapped their eyes in unison to the fox girl who suddenly stood in front of them. Only this time, the fox girl was at least sort of familiar. And only this time, a third person accompanied the duo with a very high pitched shriek at the fox girl's sudden appearance.

"Okay, ow," Chat moaned, the cat ears atop his head wiggling like crazy.

The tied up blue boy just uncommittedly scoffed at Chat's pain, collecting himself as he looked over at Volpina. "Why do you always do that?"

"As much as I don't want to agree with someone who quite possibly just shattered my eardrums," Ladybug chimed in, "you have really got to stop appearing like that."

Volpina just grinned. "I am sneaky as a fox for a reason, you know."

"Uh huh." Ladybug made sure to sound extraunconvinced. She tugged her yo-yo's string slightly, putting the attention on the tied up boy. "So who exactly is your friend?"

The blue boy stuck his nose up, trying to look refined as if he weren't tied up and lying on a roof wearing literal spandex. "They call me by many names, most of which are worthy of a prince, and-"

"His name is Pavone," Volpina immediately interrupted.

"VOLPIIIIINAAAAA!"

"He's got the peacock miraculous, in case you haven't realized," she continued, ignoring Pavone's whiny whines in satisfaction.

"So you have a fox one, then?" Chat asked.

"The fox one, I'll have you know." She reached into her suit's collar to pull out a necklace with only a fox tail charm hanging from it. "Master Fu entrusted it to me so I could go catch this dork and make sure he doesn't go AWOL with the broach."

"Oh, so just because I've had my Miraculous longer than any of you, you think I'd go power mad," Pavone pouted. "Just who do you take me for?"

"As I said, a dork."

"Well, this… dork doesn't appreciate being tied all up. I demand to be released from these stringy shackles, they're digging into my wonderfully exposed face."

Volpina rolled her eyes, glancing to Ladybug. "You heard the baby man, coccinella. Mind releasing this egomaniac from your stringy shackles?"

At this point, this blue boy had been deemed not a threat soon after Volpina arrived. So Ladybug retracted the string, and for a moment Pavone just lied there, bemoaning about his wonderful face becoming absolutely bruised.

"Hey, Chat, looks like you've got some competition for being the biggest drama queen," she snickered to her partner.

"Hardy har har," Chat said flatly, still smiling a bit.

Volpina grabbed Pavone's wrists and pulled him to his feet, and as he staggered it became really apparent how much of his grandiose suit design derived from the fact that he was a peacock superhero. The actually very detailed peacock broach pinned to his chest made that all the more obvious.

"So, mio piccolo pavone, are you ready to head back to our quaint little Italy?" Volpina asked, lips quirking into a grin.

"What? No!" Pavone yelled. "I came to Paris to get away from that country! I refuse to go back!"

She set a hand on his shoulder, which got him really flustered as he rattled off something about, "Did you just touch me?!" Volpina just ignored him as she addressed Ladybug and Chat Noir. "We'll just leave you two to your patrols and whatnot. Seems like dear Pavone just needs to let off some steam in your city."

"No I don't! Let off steam, what do you take me for?!"

Volpina turned and started to walk away, arms wrapped around Pavone's shoulders as she waved her flute back to the lucky duo. "You'll probably see more of us here in the future, coccinella, gatto nero. I'm guessing we'll only be staying for a week, but it could be two, three, forever…"

She stopped, glancing back with a mischievous grin. "But you know how it is."

With that, Volpina tugged a very unwilling Pavone along, again bounding off into the dark of the night until both their silhouettes had disappeared entirely, once again leaving as quickly as they had even appeared.

And it was once again that Ladybug and Chat Noir were left to just stand there, still unsure as to what the fuck just happened.

Ladybug groaned, rubbing her temples, seriously wishing she could have one night where shit like this didn't happen all at once.

"Ladybug?"

"Mm?"

"You look like you're wanting to lucky charm up a knife."

"That I do, kitty. That I do."

By the third time, things were just goddamn insane.

It was during their nighttime patrols, because of course it was. And like the times before, they were met with a fox girl who just suddenly showed up right in front of them atop a rooftop. Seriously. Ladybug wasn't sure how she did it, even when they actually planned for it to happen and kept Chat on lookout.

Somehow that Volpina just keep appearing.

"Why, it's been quite some time since we've last bumped into each other," Volpina greeted.

"That was yesterday," Ladybug deadpanned.

"And look who I've brought!" she continued, conveniently ignoring the spotted heroine. Motioning to her left, the duo was met with… nothing?

No, wait, no, there was something. Specifically, two hands that came up from the edge of the roof and climbed up to reveal everyone's favorite Pavone.

"That was very unfair, Volpina," Pavone huffed.

"So what if I broke the ladder? As such a miraculous superhero, I would think climbing up a three story building would be easy ."

"Well, excuuuse me for not having a weapon that can bring me up to places!" Pavone retorted. "All I have are paper arrows! Paper! Arrows! While your flute can make, of all things, tornados."

"I don't think you've tried to ride a tornado."

Chat cleared his throated. "So, anyway, have you guys decided how long you'll be staying in Paris?"

As Ladybug gave him an incredulous look, Pavone turned his nose up to them. "We've spent quite some time discussing it, I suppose, and we've ultimately came to the decision that we'll be staying here for a month."

"And then it's right back to Italy, yes?" Volpina prompted, nudging him with her elbow while she had her other arm behind her back.

With great hesitance and gritted teeth, Pavone spoke. "...Yes, then it's back to Italy."

"Great," Volpina nodded, pleased with herself. "I'm gonna hold you to that, you know."

Pavone scoffed. "Please, if I happen to decide to rescind my decision, there's nothing holding me back from it."

"Yes, then it's back to Italy."

Eyes widened, Pavone whipped his head to the sound of his own voice that came from…

"Yes, then it's back to Italy."

...From Volpina's flute?

She just gave him this huge shit eating grin as she pressed a button on her flute, replaying the recorded message.

"Yes, then it's back to Italy."

She tapped her chin with the incriminating flute. "See, technically, it's you that's holding you back, and unless you want me going straight to Master Fu with this and having him deal with your insubordination, I'd say you'd want to keep your word on this."

Pavone gave her an angry, defeated, pout.

"It's called a hustle, sweetheart," Volpina said with faux-sympathy, failing to keep the smirk out of her voice.

This time, Ladybug was the one to clear her throat. "So this is all great and all, two more miraculous… uh, heroes is always good, but can we just get on with our patrol already?"

Pavone huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at the ground. "Hmmph. Might as well."

Volpina opened her mouth to say something, then faltered, glancing at something behind the lucky duo. She closed her mouth into a grin, and before Ladybug or Chat could even say anything, a very high pitched squeal rang out through the rooftop.

"EEEEEEEE LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR HIIIII!"

When they turned, they were met with a…

...a blonde girl in a goddamn honeybee getup.

She stood in front of the two, a scepter in hand, a black and yellow suit and mask on, and a hair comb firmly implanted in her hair, radiating absolute radiance or something. There was a bounce in her step, as if standing face to face with Ladybug and Chat Noir was like meeting her biggest fans. Which was probably actually the case.

Dumbly, Ladybug and Chat said in unison, "Who are you?"

"My name is Reine Abeille," she said, standing proud and haughtilly. "And as of right now, I'm officially a superhero, so I'm gonna help you guys save Paris the right way."

There was a long moment of silence. Like, super long. It would've been awkward had it not been so long it passed that awkward stage. Now it was just… silence.

Until finally, Volpina cleared her throat. "Well, I think it's about time Pavone and I leave you three be."

"Wait, I actually want to talk to her-"

"Nope." And then she summoned a goddamn tornado from her flute, tossing Pavone in, saying, "Bye," to the other three miraculous holders, and stepping in herself. The tornado just shot off into the night sky, disappearing into the night as if it were destined to.

Which now left Ladybug, Chat Noir, and this Reine Abeille, the latter of which registered nothing out of the ordinary with the mini tornado just appearing from a flute.

"Sooo, when are we going to fight some akumas or whatever?"

Ladybug blinked.

Chat Noir blinked.

"I'm just going to go home for the night."

"Same here, Bugaboo."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

They bounded off in different directions, leaving Reine the only one on the rooftop.

She stopped her foot on the roof, crossing her arms with her scepter still in hand.

"Um, okay, first off, rude."

After three nights of utter insanity, Marinette was glad for the typical nature that was school. So much so that she actually came to class early, twenty minutes before class would even start.

If that werent surprising enough, Adrien had come to class early too, and Marinette was shocked that he didn't have any last minute photo shoots like usual to make him late either. So shocked that she returned his greeting of, "Good morning" without even stuttering, as she hadn't really made the connection that this was her super nice crush that was early like she was.

If that was shocked, Alya and Nino were freaking amazed to see both Marinette and Adrien in the room when they entered together. Unlike those two, Alya and Nino usually weren't late.

As more of their classmates petered in when class actually started, Madame Bustier addressed the class. "Good morning, students! I'm very glad to say that we have not one, but two students joining our class today!"

Madame Bustier motioned to the door, and two students walked in, a boy and a girl both with dark brown hair.

Something about them registered alarm bells within Marinette's mind, and suddenly she was all the more attentive at who these two new kids really were.

"This is Ali," Madame Bustier said, motioning to the boy who stood quite refined and looked like he was this close to turning his nose up to everyone as he scanned the room with his… piercing blue eyes.

"And this is Bianca," Unlike Ali, Bianca's entire stance was completely casual, her green eyes containing a mischievious glint in them as her hair idly swept by, tied in a way that remarkably looked like… a… fox's tail.

Marinette's breath hitched, and although she was already trying to convince herself that this was all just pure coincidence, her eyes still found their way to both of their attire, trying to find something.

And she found it in the form of a dulled fox tail necklace and a darkened peacock broach.

"They're both from Italy, so do please try to be respectful of their culture," Madame Bustier finished.

Marinette just seemed to freeze right then and there.

"Ah, mm, would it be possible if I could sit with that blonde girl up front?" Ali asked.

But nope, it seemed like the universe wasn't done complete destroying this bluenette's sanity.

"With me?" said Chloe, being said blonde girl, absentmindedly filing her nails. "As if. Why would I want the new kid when I've already got Sabrina?"

Sabrina didn't answer, she was too busy reaching for something in Chloe's hair. Before she could touch it, Chloe immediately reeled back, almost like she was… afraid?

If that was fear, Chloe expertly hid it with irritation. "What are you doing?"

"S-Sorry," Sabrina stuttered. "That's just a really nice hair comb you have, Chloe! I didn't know you had one!"

Hair comb.

"Uh, I have lots of hair combs, Sabrina," Chloe scoffed, very oblivious to a certain bluenette that was suddenly staring at her so hard the intensity probably would have crushed her.

"But I've never see you with that kind before!"

"What can I say? I'm just full of new things." Chloe grinned to herself, brushing her fingers over the very dull yellow hair comb that sat atop her hair, the only noticable detail on it being a tiny illustration of a bee.

Marinette shot to her feet, slapping her hands on the table so hard it was loud enough to silence everyone.

"Uh, Marinette?" Alya asked, seriously freaking confused.

Marinette just stood absolutely stiff, staring in the general direction of Ali and Bianca and-

Bianca winked.

"Mari-"

"THAT'S IT I AM DONE I AM SO DONE," she yelled, not even caring that she had just interrupted Adrien.

She stomped towards the door, sparing only a single glance at Bianca who twirled her necklace absentmindedly, giving Marinette that same knowing smile.

So Marinette just stormed out of class, slamming the door behind her so hard some would swear the hinges actually broke.

There was a very long moment of silence where everyone but two people stared at the door.

Adrien had figured out what was happening with the two new kids and Chloe at the same time Marinette had, although he didn't know it. So he just stared at Bianca, mouth agape.

Bianca, being the only other person not staring at the door, gave Adrien a wink, a finger gun, and a shit eating grin.