Hey guys!

Yes, I know that I just started a new story, but I'm all blocked up with ideas for that one, and this idea just came to me, so I decided to write and post it.

Before I start, I would like to apologize for any feels that this gives out, my mom took a nosedive today (explained in authors not of What's Not There) so I was feeling a little down, and this was what came out

Anyway, see you at the end!

The longer my eyes stayed shut, the more I was sure my eyelids were mocking me. "Hahaha, the weak little bionic can't even open his eyes." They seemed to be mocking as the glued themselves harder together. I picked and pried at them all hours of the day, but they were content to stay shut.

It wasn't just my shut eyes that were driving me insane, it was the idea that I couldn't hear a word of what was going on around me either. My world was pitch black and silent and there was nothing I could do about it. The only thing I could feel was the soft fabric of sheets under me and the slightly flat pillow under my head and that was it, the rest of my senses seemed to be shut off. Sometimes I feel the odd pressure grabbing at my hand, but it never stays for long. At one point I had even tried to yell for help, but my mouth wouldn't open, so I haven't tried again.

It was getting quite boring really. All I could do was lay there and think. But even my brain seemed to be on shutdown. The only thing I could remember was years and years of black. I couldn't remember where the entrance was, and the exit was even harder to think of.

So all that was left was to lie there and feel the sheets under my hand and the pillow under my head and wonder when the blackness would decide to let me go.

*Outside the black (change in POV) *

This is all my fault. If I had just been paying more attention then this never would've happened. If I had only been paying more attention then my brother wouldn't be laying in a coma. If I had only been paying more attention, then my brother could be living his life like the rest of us.

I slowly leaned forward and rested my head in my hands in an attempt to hide the tears from my brother that couldn't see anyway. Ever since the accident, I had been coming here at any chance I got to see the person that was laying in the bed in front of me. I had struggled at first with my visits, the knowledge that it was me who put him there weighing heavily on my mind, but after a while I became numb to that idea. Now I just sit in the hard plastic chairs, grip one of his hands tightly and just babble on about random stuff. I could never hold his hand for long though, the fact that he never held it back made me sadder, so I would eventually have to pull my hand away. But that never stopped me from talking to him.

I never cared that the doctors said that he couldn't hear me and that he couldn't feel my touch, I keep talking and holding his hand anyway.

What makes me the most sad however is when I first enter his room for a visit. It's always the first glance at all of the wires and tubes producing from his body that made me want to break down.

But I don't. I go inside the room and sit down. I don't break down because my brother needs me to stay strong for him. So I do. No matter how hard it is.

* Inside the Black *

I felt something different today. I was figuratively wandering back and forth in the black room when I felt something shifting under me. At first I thought that I was imagining it, and was about to go back to wandering in circles when I felt it again. With my curiosity peaked, I waited again for it, and wasn't disappointed. Under my fingers, the sheets had started to move back and forth slightly

At first I thought it was the outside world moving it, but then I started to hear a quiet beeping as well. With the encouragement of touch and sound, I focused on my finger and tried to move it. I don't think I've ever done something so hard in my life. The more I pushed and pulled at my finger, the less and less it wanted to move. I struggled with the movement for quite some time, but the sound eventually faded away and the movement stopped. I was locked in the room once again.

I let out a tortured wail that seemed to echo around my empty head, bouncing around in my non working ears, before coming back and slapping me in the face. My one chance to escape this place, and I had failed. I tried scratching away at the black walls, but that didn't do any good either. I was trapped in here again and there was nothing that I could do. Why wouldn't the black just let me go?

*Outside the Black*

I was so sure my brother was going to wake up today. I was about halfway through my self scheduled visiting time when one of his fingers started to move. The movement was so small that if I hadn't of been looking at them at that exact moment, I would've missed it.

Excited, I leaned forward and watched the finger move back and forth slowly and deliberately, as if it was taking all of his energy to move it. I glanced quickly up to see if there was any kind of change there and almost squealed when I saw the small frown appearing between the lines on his forehead. The excitement was quickly escalating as a second finger started to twitch as well. I leaned forward as far as I dared and held my breath, but it seemed as if the second finger drained all of the energy away. The fingers slowly stopped moving and the frown disappeared, replaced with the familiar peaceful expression. The movement was gone and all was still again in the small hospital room.

I collapsed back in my chair and tried not to cry. I was so sure that he was going to wake up that I hadn't thought about what would happen if he didn't. Now all that I was left with as a still asleep brother and a crushed spirit. The harder I fought the tears, the more they wanted to come, and before I knew it, the tears were streaming down my face in hot waves. I tried as hard as I could to stop them, because after all, by brother needed me to be strong. But it was no use, there was no stopping them

*Inside the Black*

Maybe I should just get comfortable with the fact that I'm going to be living in this black room for the rest of my life. I mean, come one, I can't even remember how long I've been in here. All I know is that I've been in here so long I've learned how to manipulate the blackness. It took some time, but eventually I learned how to create tables, chairs, and beds out of the darkness. The bed isn't really that handy considering the fact that I'm not able to sleep, but the chairs are often quite nice.

Sometimes I wonder what the outside world is like. No, sorry, scratch that, I always wonder what the outside world is like. I wonder about how many sunsets I've missed and how many important events. The rest of my family often crosses my mind as well, but I'm unable to picture their faces or remember their names. Then again, I can't remember my own name either. Sometimes I'll sit on one of the chairs that I've created and make up stories about the rest of my family. I've sent them on amazing vacations and made them fight each other for supremacy. Once they even saved the world from killer worms. It's really quite fun actually, putting them through all of these situations. I know it's kind of weird, but there's not much else to do in here.

One time I even thought about the person who locked me in the room. I tried to picture his face and what the rest of his body looked like, but I couldn't come up with anything. So I instead made him the villain of one of my imagination stories and had my family kill him. Man, did revenge feel sweet. It wasn't until after I had killed him that I realized that I could've asked him questions about what I was doing in here and when I would get the chance to get out. Guess he's never going to let me out of here now

*Outside the Black*

It's been years now, and my brother still hasn't come out of his coma. There was that one time a couple years ago that he came close, but since then he's been still. I'm starting to think that it's time to accept the fact that he's not coming back and pull the plug, but then I'll remember that one time he almost woke up, and decided against it, convinced that he'll wake up right as I go to unplug him.

The rest of our family is starting to worry about me. They say that I should just give it up and let him go, but then I remind them that it was me that put him there and that It's my job to make sure he wakes up. Last year we had a massive fight about it until I convinced them that the decision was on my shoulders. They didn't talk to me for at least a week, but in the end it was worth it.

Sometimes I'll go in, sit down, and start to wonder what life is like in a coma. I wonder if it's black and whether or not he has something to do. I tried asking one of the doctors once, but they had just smiled kindly at me and said that it didn't matter. Oh! Speaking of nurses, that's the one thing about this place that I don't actually mind. I come here so often that they now know me by name. I even ended up dating one of my brothers nurses for a while before getting married to someone else. Whenever I come for my longer visit on the weekends, they drop by more to talk to me. Sometimes I get so caught up with the conversation that I forget who I came here to see. Sometimes I forget who I have to be strong for, but it never lasts long.

*Inside the Black*

Something's not right. I was just sitting peacefully on my chair making up a story when the black walls jerked once around me. Standing up from the chair, I turned in a circle and watched as the black walls started to shake, slowly at first, but then harder.

With a mighty crack a small part of the ceiling broke off and collapsed to the floor, revealing a small circle of white. I crept forward carefully until I was directly under the hole, and then looked up. After a quick glance up, I had to look down again and retreat from the hole, the years and years of blackness making the light impossible to stand. The walls suddenly gave another might jerk, which sent me flying against one of them.

I slowly crawled away from the wall and into the middle of the room where the shaking seemed to be the least violent. I conjured up one of my chairs and sat down heavily, watching as the walls around me started to crumble. It started with the ceiling, pieces started to fall in, showing more and more white as they collapsed. Next came the walls. The one on my left broke first, pieces of black vaporising as white appeared. The wall behind me fell next, showing more blinding white light.

Suddenly, the two remaining walls started to shake harder, but the floor stilled. Puzzled, I turned to leftover walls and yelped loudly as they fell simultaneously. With a loud gulp, I looked down and watched as my chair disappeared, dumping me onto the floor. I didn't even bother standing as I watched the floor start to crumble as well. It started with the edges, and soon, all that was left was a small circle of black around me. With an unsteady breath, I close my eyes as the rest of the floor vanished, dumping me into the white.

Finally, I had been let out of the black room and into the light. Finally, I was free.

*Outside the Black*

The decision was hard, I would be lying if I said otherwise. I had thought long and hard about the decision, and whether or not I should do it. My mind had gone around and around in circles for weeks, going back and forth between keeping him in a coma or letting him go. I finally decided to let him go.

After my decision, I had called up the rest of my family and told them that I was pulling the plug within the next week, and would really appreciate it if they showed up for support. They all did. We had a bit of a family reunion for the first two days, and then it was time.

On Monday the twenty first of April, 2022, six year after the accident, it was time to take my brother off of the life support and let him slip away. We all gathered around his bed, me holding his hand of course, and watched as the doctor reached over to the ventilator to turn it off. Right before they hit the button however, I leapt forward and yelled stop. Ignoring the looks my family threw me, I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. After taking a deep breath, I leaned back and nodded at the doctor. Said doctor smiled sadly at me and hit the button. After that, the sound of forced breaths faded from the room, the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor slowing down as well. Thirty seconds later, my brother flatlined.

Recognizing that we needed some time alone, the doctors took the machines away and shut the door, muttering something about time of death to each other. After making sure that they were gone and the door was closed, I totally broke down. I numbly felt my body being pulled from the chair and into a group hug. All I could do was stand there and weep. My brother was finally gone. I had let him go, and there was no one left to be strong for.

*Three Years Later*

"I want to go and visit your brother today Daddy!" The little boy called from the breakfast table, his voice possessing the excitement that only three year olds had.

"But we see him all the time, don't you want a break him and his annoying family?" I said from the kitchen where I was making pancakes.

"No silly, not them, the dead one! I want to go and see the dead one!"

Oh, that one "Are you sure that you want to go and see him Ace? He's not in a very happy place right now."

"I'm sure Daddy! If he's sad, then why don't we go and make it better!"

This was going to be hard. "Okay then buddy, we'll go, let me just go and find your mom." I replied, turning off the stove and whipping my hands clean. "Just give me a second." As soon as I left the dining room, I quietly ran up the stairs and into our bedroom. I sprinted to the bed and collapsed down onto it, my shoulders shaking with sobs.

"What's wrong honey?" A soft voice said from above me. I let myself be pulled into a warm embrace as I started to sob harder.

"Ace wants to go and see my other brother. The dead one." I cried, trying to stem the red hot tears streaming down my face.

"Well, what did you tell Ace?"

"I told him that we could go and see him."

"Good, I'm glad you said that, it's about time we visit his grave anyway."

"Could we stop for some flowers though, I don't want to turn up empty handed."

"Of course we can stop for flowers." She replied, kissing my head before running her thumbs under my eyes and wiping the drying tears away. "Now go and get dressed, I'll make sure that Ace is ready for a trip to the graveyard."

I smiled at my wife, Amber, and stood up from the bed "Thank you." All I got was a smile and a jerk of the head in reply. I took the hint and went to get dressed. After I had dressed, brushed my teeth, and composed myself, I went downstairs to meet the rest of my family.

"Ready to go Ace?" I asked, picking him up and sitting him on my hip.

"Yeah! Let's go and meet your brother!"

I smiled lightly at his innocence before tossing the keys to Amber. "Why don't you drive today?" I asked before opening the door and walking into the garage. After situating Ace in his carseat, I got in the passenger seat and took a deep calming breath.

The drive to the florist was a quiet one, but as soon as we walked out with a bunch of flowers, Ace was a flurry of questions "What are the flowers for? Does your brother like flowers? Is he nice? Does he have kids? Does he even like kids?" I left Amber to answer those questions as I sat down in the driver's seat this time.

After a short drive, we arrived at the cemetery. From what I could see, it was empty, which was good, considering that we would have some explaining to do to Ace.

"Where are we Daddy?" Ace asked as Amber pulled him out of his car seat.

"We're here to visit my brother Ace, and this is where he is. It's called a graveyard, or cemetery."

"You were really being serious when you said that he wasn't in a very happy place Daddy." He whispered out, hugging closer to me.

"Do you want to go and see where he is?" I asked, starting to walk toward the lot where we had buried him. It took a little bit of searching, but soon we found the grave. "There we go Ace." I said, sitting him down besides the grave. "This is my brother."

Ace sat there for a little bit, silent and staring at the dirt, until his face lit up. "Hey Daddy's brother! I'm his son, Ace! I heard that you're not in a very happy place, so we've brought you flowers to make it better, didn't we Daddy?" I handed the flowers in question to my son, who laid them down neatly on the pile of dirt.

I tuned out the rest of my son's chatter, and instead read the gravestone over and over to myself, trying hard not to cry. We didn't stay there very long after Ace had finished, and he seemed kind of sad to leave, so Amber and I promised him that we would come back again some time.

It wasn't until we were laying in bed later that night that I recalled the scene at the grave yard. "You did really well, I'm proud of you honey." Amber muttered into my chest.

"I'm not so proud of myself though, I mean, it's my job to stay strong for him in the first place. It's always been my job, and not just in the physical sense."

"Still, I'm proud of you Adam."

"Thanks." I muttered in response before falling asleep.

That night in my dreams, I conjured up the gravestone and just sat there and watched as the ghost of my brother sat on the dirt and played with the girl from the plot next to him. Their smiles and laugher making me grin. It was finally time to let go. It was finally time to stop being strong.

Here lies Chase Davenport.
1991-2022
Friend - Hero - Son - Brother
Missed by many, but grieved by few
May heaven treat you well.

There we go! That story is over and I can let some of my sadness go.

Oh! By the way, I haven't been in a coma or had a friend or family member in one either, so the coma parts all come from my imagination and are probably not true, but hey, they were fun to write.

You know what though, it actually ended up a coincidence that all of Adam's family ended up have names starting with A's. I literally just wrote down the first name that came into my head, and it was by complete coincidence that they all started with A. It's funny how the world works sometimes.

Wow guys, that was the second longest one shot that I've ever written! I'm actually really proud of this, but if the way I've written this confuses you, drop me a comment and I'll try to explain it to you.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Look out for another chapter of Pain of the Past soon!

Review? Please!