Fanny was waiting. She was very good at it, sometimes she felt like she spent her entire life waiting for others to decide what she should do. This time she knew what she wanted but she was still waiting for others to come around. Surely Edmund would be out of mourning for his relationship soon. Finally see her being good and patient for him. So everyday she waited. She was teaching her sister the ways of Mansfield, how their aunt liked her tea and what books she would listen to. She was also teaching her the fundamentals of life, proper hems and mending, the verse of the Good Book, the necessities all young ladies should know, the things a wife should know, though she never phased it at such.
She was distressed in her waiting though, Edmund had begun spending a great deal of time at Thornton Lacey, seeking her company and comfort less and less. Looking at her with such said eyes the last time they had parted, she'd heard the name of Crawford fall from his lips when speaking with Tom and looking her way. She braced herself to wait longer.
* . * . *
On what could be considered the first truly nice day of spring, almost summer, Tom insisted on riding, it would be the first time for such and activity since his recovery and his parents were understandably worried. Tom, not being one to back down and having grown increasingly restless despite his newfound appreciation of life and home, would ride, and to assuage his parents he insisted that not only would his man come with him so would Fanny and Susan. They would have a picnic for luncheon and Tom could survey the grounds. This was very shocking for Fanny and very pleasing for Susan, Fanny had never ridden without Edmund near by and Susan had yet been allowed to ride without a lead. Fanny was so shocked by it she forgot herself and asked her cousin directly if he was sure he wanted her along, Tom merely smiled brightly at her and insisted he wouldn't go without her.
To Fanny's surprise the day was actually quite pleasing, Tom making sure she was comfortable and secure on her horse, his man's presence keeping Susan in check from tearing across the hills. They rode to the boundaries, stopping to talk to the tenants and check on the farms. Fanny noted Tom taking time to ask about the families themselves, it was such a dramatic change from how he had been but one she was happy to witness. Over luncheon Tom confessed that he had only recently learned who the tenants were, all information being received from his father and the record books, Fanny admired him for making the effort to know Mansfield and to know in person was an even greater thing. They arrived home to an invitation to a Ball, with the express invitation of Miss Fanny Price. Lady Bertram had also received a letter asking if the younger Miss Price was out so an invitation could also be extended to her, despite Susan's hope Lady Bertram had already, surprisingly, wrote back that she was not out but was grateful to be remembered, leaving Tom and Fanny to go.
It was debated on by father and son, the merits out weighing the evils. Hope that their own neighbors would know them and have compassion for the family. All of the scandal was already known, there was nothing else to be commented on. They both agreed it would be good for Fanny to be more known in the neighborhood and Tom had started looking for a wife, caught between choosing one who knew his past or one who didn't, perhaps a suitable match for Fanny could also be found. They learned Edmund had also received an invitation and upon hearing of his brother and cousin's acceptance decided it would be fine for him to go as well, which pleased Fanny immensely.
They spent a fortnight in preparation, a new dress for Fanny, talk of who would be there, the dances, teaching Susan to dance in-between her lessons, pleasing Lady Bertram to see them all so happy. A few days before the event Tom insisted that he have Fanny's first dance, she was so surprised she immediately accepted and was happy in the security of a partner for the first dance that she thought no more of it until in the carriage to the Ball when Edmund asked her. She was momentarily struck speechless until Tom explained that he had already asked her, at which Edmund seemed struck speechless and after a moment he insisted on the third, no doubt she would need to rest between, she happily agreed and they rode on in peace, though Fanny did catch Edmund giving his brother an odd look.
It was on Tom's arm that she walked into the house, he staying close by her during the dinner, helping her engage in conversation with others and they with her. She was on his arm as they walked into the Hall, taking place below those of the house and carrying through the dance in jovial talk and manner. Despite Edmunds' predictions Fanny was not tired after the dance and when asked if she had a partner for the second she happily agreed, her spirits high and mood bright thanks to Tom. When Edmund found her for the third he feared she would be too tired but she assured him she wasn't, he didn't seem convinced but when another young man came forward he relented and they took their place on the floor. It was a pleasing night for Fanny, dancing more than sitting, talking on subjects of interest with new people and if there was ever a lull where uncertainty crept in Tom was there with a laugh and a smile, to walk her around the room, or dance, or sit and talk with her. In all of her enjoyment she didn't even realize how long it had been since she'd seen Edmund until it was time to leave and they found him waiting by the doors.
He was quiet on the way back to Mansfield, though Fanny couldn't help but notice the glances he kept directing at Tom and occasionally her. When they returned home Fanny saw Edmund pull his brother aside and heard him saying that they needed to speak, Tom waved him off and said everything could be talked about after sleep.
By the time she woke Edmund was already gone and Tom was with Sir Thomas going over their out of country holdings. She spent the rest of the day going over the details of the Ball with her sister and aunt, they being as excited and egger to receive the information as she was to give it. At dinner Tom decided that if the weather was nice the next day then they should all go riding again, Fanny was far more pleased to accept the offer this time.
* . * . *
And so the summer went, Fanny and Tom attending Country Balls all around their neighborhood, riding when they could, Tom getting to know Mansfield again, Susan learning all she could and being doted on by her aunt, as much as Lady Bertram could dote on someone who wasn't pug. Fanny seemingly in the center of it all, finding activity in every corner, even within the town itself she was sought after and asked advice of. There were quiet moments when Tom would talk to her of Mansfield, of it's running, it's tenants, these were special times for Fanny, to know and be trusted with the intimate details of her home as she never had been before, to even be asked opinion or advice on matters was an immense pleasure to her.
She saw Edmund less and less, each time he would give her heavy looks, asking questions about her outings and the people she was communicating with, cautioning her against reckless behavior. It was one such day when after he left, not staying for dinner, that she needed to compose herself thoroughly before going into company again that Tom found her in the attic room. At first he seemed confused by the whole scene, the room, its size and furniture, and her state over his brother. He tried to get her to repeat his sentences but she couldn't, not with the comparisons he had used, that he had even thought them was hurting, that he had said them unbearable. With a tenderness she wasn't used to Tom held her and she cried onto his shoulder.
She was composed enough by dinner but tired and Tom kept the conversation directed away from her. After dinner Susan read to Lady Bertram while they waited for the gentlemen to join, taking longer than usual and Fanny developed a hollowness in her stomach from it. When they did join they seemed no different than normal and Fanny relaxed slightly, Tom taking her arm as they walked the room while her uncle sat next to his wife and listened to Susan. After she had finished with the scene Sir Thomas insisted she place the book down and asked Fanny to join them, Tom giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. Sir Thomas stated that Susan's education would change, they would hire a Governess to fill the gaps of her education, Fanny was confused, was she not enough? Her uncle tried to reassure her that everything she knew was fine and if there was something else she'd like to learn then the Governess would be there for her as well, just until Susan was where she should be before coming out. Fanny was elated, she hadn't been properly educated since Julia's coming out and the Governess sent away by Aunt Norris, for her sister to be taught properly was a wonderful thing and to be able to lean more thrilled her. Sir Thomas wasn't done though, saying it was past time for a change and that Fanny and Susan were to have proper rooms in the house, nothing could be done about it that night but the next day they would pick out any of the unoccupied family rooms and be moved into them, Susan couldn't contain her joy, hugging and kissing both aunt and uncle, Fanny kissed and thanked them both, her mind too full of emotion to do much else, having such a bad day turn so dramatically, it was far too much, her aunt noted her complexion and insisted she go to bed lest she should be ill. Tom escorted her back to her room, not standing for her protest that she could manage, it struck her on the way that he must have been responsible for this change in her uncle. Tom tried his best to avoid it, to say it was only right, and when they got to Fanny's room without thought she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, thanking him for his kindness. She knew she blushed; she felt the warmth on her cheeks and turned to go, Tom stopping her suddenly, taking her hands and looking into her eyes. It took a moment for him to find the words, speaking softly and slowly he told Fanny he hoped that one day she would accept all that he did to not only improve her life but her situation in it, kissing her hand quickly he left her to go to bed as she planned.
* . * . *
Neither of them discussed what had happened and summer lazily became autumn and they lived as they had most of the summer. Tom now learning of the harvest and storing of foods for the winter, how it was divided between house and tenant and town. He added shooting to his activities, letting the locals help where he would have normally asked friends. He even declined several invitations to go elsewhere and shoot for the season. Susan flourished under the Governess, learning Latin and French and Drawing, the Governess being impressed and pleased with her already acquired knowledge of History and Literature. Fanny had beamed under the praise and continued her Latin and French studies with Susan, Tom catching her in the library on her own from time to time and helping her remember structure or pronunciation.
The Balls were less, what with everyone taking care of their own lands at the moment, but the ones that were had were still just as enjoyable, the Bertrams being on better standing with their neighbors than they had ever been before and by the time the harvest was complete and winter starting to appear Sir Thomas decided that it time they have another Ball at Mansfield. The house itself was delighted and preparations immediately began to be attended to, Susan even being included for the dinner and first dance. When Edmund found out though he was not pleased, he had refrained from more than half the Dances during the summer and autumn, his mood becoming darker with each visit to the house, finding Fanny neither ill, ill used, or suffering of some sort, but happy and in high spirits and usually engaged in conversation or activity with Tom.
It was a situation he could no longer ignore and insisted on speaking to his father and brother right away. Believing Fanny and Susan to be in a lesson, they merely moved to the library, leaving Lady Bertram to nap on the couch. It was a fine day and the Governess had so admired the light casting through the trees that she decided that Susan would have her drawing lesson first and they would come back to Language after luncheon, leaving Fanny to head to the library where she normally went now when looking for a solitary activity, being found later by sister or cousin and occasionally uncle who seemed very pleased with her progress and spirit. She slowed as she approached the ajar doors, hearing raised voices within, she thought to turn and go to her room or find her aunt, stopping at the sound of her own name she walked closer to the doors, confused as to why her name would be said in so harsh a tone. She quickly distinguished between the voices, between uncle and cousins, though not understanding the meaning of it all, of Edmunds anger at her and Tom being friendly, at his father for allowing it, at Tom for pursuing it. Talking of indecency and hadn't enough scandal been brought on this family, that Tom was only using her, playing with her because he was bored and was in a delicate state after Crawford, Tom scoffing at that retorting that she had felt nothing for Henry but revulsion, and while that might not of been entirely true that Tom saw it and Edmund didn't sent a chill down her spine, followed by a rush of warmth as Tom continued to speak, denying his brother claims and declaring that he cared for Fanny very much and would never do her harm. Edmund turned his argument to his father, this this Dance was evil, that all of this summer and fall had done nothing to improve Fanny but put her in harms way, that the behavior they were encouraging her in was that of Maria or Julia's, that having so many unscreened associates could only lead her down the same path as Mary Crawford. Sir Thomas took a kinder tone with his son, assuring him that Fanny was watched closely, and while she may be more outspoken and lively, never had she exhibited any unsavory behavior, never been or acted in anyway to be ashamed of or apologize for, and that none were expected from her, she was everything a man could want in a Lady. Edmund baulked, stuttering that all of this was just to marry Fanny off, and that he wouldn't stand for it, that he would marry Fanny himself and make sure that she never slip into a life of ruin. Fanny was stunned, shocked into stillness, to finally hear that Edmund would marry her, but not out of Love or Devotion or even Desire, but to keep her from the life that she had been building, finally getting used to after all these years, finally being comfortable in herself. Hot tears rolled down her face and an anger she had never know before blazed to life in her chest. It was Tom who spoke first, stating softly but strongly that Edmund would never marry Fanny, that Fanny would marry a man who truly loved and respected her and could give her everything that she was worth. Edmund's voice was a mix of anger and jest as he asked his brother if that would be him, saying that their father would never allow it, that the heir's wife needed to bring something with her of some worth, that Tom's habits would never allow for a penniless bride, that Henry Crawford might have been in such a position but Tom Bertram was not. Tom's voice was soft, almost as if afraid of hurting his brother, his words were simple and their meaning clear, Sir Thomas had already given his approval, as Tom's father and Fanny's guardian, he loved Fanny and wanted to take care of her, wanted her to take care of him , to spend their lives together, if she would have him. And that she was bringing something with her, worth and rightness, honesty and gentleness, faith and sense. What he needed in a wife, in the mother of his children, in Lady Bertram.
She didn't know when her tears stopped, when her anger had given way to a dull hollowness and a warm softness each demanding attention and control of her, her feet carried her away from the library, the voices debating over her fading away, to her room where she collapsed at the foot of her bed, numb to thought but not to feeling. Hearing Edmund question her values and morals, hearing Tom praise them, Edmund concerned with her money, Tom looking past it. To hear him say he lived her, in front of father and brother, to as gone so far and told his father, asked for his approval and it be granted. To of shown her love and kindness and yet not press his desires onto her, to not assault her as Crawford had done, but been content to lover her as was, her body shook with emotion, to never tell her, to wait for her to be ready, to say 'if' she would have him. Since summer she had no thought of her future in which Tom wasn't there in some way, but she had never considered it love, still waiting for Edmund, but Edmund wouldn't see her, not before, not now, and not in the future. She knew it would come, despite her growing happiness, she cried. She mourned for her loss, for Edmund, knowing those were the last tears of hers he would ever receive.
* . * . *
It was dinner before they were all gathered together again and it progressed as so many before, with lively conversations of Susan's lessons, of Mansfield's workings, Lady Bertram's thoughts, the charities, the town, the upcoming Ball. Only this Ball would be theirs and they talked of music and musicians, of food and wine and fashion. Since the first Sir Thomas had made sure Fanny had enough dresses to go out in and Fanny had tried to persuade him that she would never have a need for so many but he'd won they day and seen his niece become a beautiful woman over the changing seasons, slowly discovering a new way of life, and learning to fit into it quite well, looking spectacular every time she walked through the doors. This night however, in her simple dress and loose hair, she looked radiant, she seemed much more calm than normal. The smile not leaving her face as she continued conversation, there was a healthy blush on her cheek and an overall glow to her appearance. It was a much needed sight after his argument of the morning, to hear Edmund speak about her so had been disturbing, knowing how close they had been for years, that recent events could so affect him and his vision, surely he knew hat Fanny would flourish once out of the shadow of her cousins, they'd seen a small bit during Crawford's courtship, but now she could truly be herself, no matter her location or witness. He was proud of her and no matter what may come she was truly his favorite daughter.
* . * . *
Susan's voice was clear and reached across the room to where Fanny and Tom had walked, stopping to admire a painting on the wall. One they'd both seen countless limes before yet never took the time to truly look at. His comments were whispered into her ear, his breath on her neck prickling her skin. Her eyes shinned when looking at him and her smile gentle. Her whole demeanor was so enchanting that without thought Tom reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, surprised when her head tilted to his hand, no doubt surprising her too from the blush spreading across her face. Tom took the moment and stored it with the others that gave him hope that Fanny would be his. They walked back across the room, rejoining the rest of the family until time to part for bed.
* . * . *
The days passed in a happy blur to Fanny, feeling happiness and warmth and love from every corner. Her sister was thriving, her uncle always had a kind word or look for her, her aunt was calm and easily pleased. Her charity basket shrank and grew, her own work progressed with ease. She felt light as she walked, journeying to the village on a few errands. She met and spoke to those a year before she would shrink from. She was treated with kindness and respect, she recognized it and glowed in the knowledge that it was for her. And there was Tom. Tom who took her arm and placed it in his as they walked, who would ask her to read a passage to him to prove her lesson had took, who had taken to pushing stray hairs behind her ears, who smiled when he saw her approach, who talked with her on all things, asked her opinion on actions to take, who sat beside her in church and would later ask for her interpretation of the sermon, who quietly read beside her a she sewed. The man who loved her, yet never said a word, but showed it in so many ways.
She breathed easily as he lead her to the top of the room, couples taking place below them, the steps and turns effortless as they moved about the room, the conversation easy. Edmund had shown up right before dancing, surprising them as they'd not seen him since that day, didn't expect him either. Tom had moved toward Fanny at the sight of his brother, shielding her from him, her hand involuntarily gripped his sleeve as she tried to remember that she was not suppose to know what he had said, then the doors had opened to the Hall and they moved quickly into the crowd, safe in the presence of the other. She saw him by the wall, watching their progress, his father close by, when the dance ended, they stayed on the floor, at other times another would approach and ask Fanny for the next, but seeing the way they held onto the other, none would break them apart. The music started again, Tom talked too her of winter provisions, she rejoined with the habits of the town, he joked she laughed, by the last step the future of Mansfield was a surety to those around them.
Her worry at the sight of Edmund had left her tired in not moving between dances and Tom lead her off the floor to a couch, leaving her momentarily to fetch water, it was then Edmund approached her. His face was dark, but his eyes were sad, he sat only near enough to speak so she could hear, he apologized for his absence, for his last words to her, wishing he could take them back. He was confused and bitter, they used to be such good friends and to see her change so much worried him, his own experience making him fear for her, but from what he had seen, what people had told him, she was still the same, only now more alive, happier, he could suspect the cause but would say nothing lest he be inappropriate. He wished her happiness in her future and offered his friendship though unsure of it's worth as of late. Fanny was still, a part of her wanted to reach out and grasp him like she used to, to forgive him without thought, but it was different now, he had been hard and cruel to her, only after contemplation had he found her unchanged from herself, her freedom and happiness confusing her to him and her reasons still unclear to him, he did now know her as before. She accepted his apology and hoped their friendship could continue into the future. Tom joined them taking the space beside Fanny and giving his brother a warning with his look. She still wasn't quite used to Tom's closeness at times, blushing as their fingers touched when he handed her the glass, even though they had spent the last half hour dancing. Edmund saw it and his unjustified anger welled again, he calmed himself quickly, knowing his brother had seen his lapse and they talked of nothing of importance until the end of the third when a young man approached asking if Miss Price was spoken for the next. She rejoined the dance for the rest of the night, losing sight of Edmund before midnight, her spirits greatly improved by those she was beginning to think of as friends. To her uncle's surprise but no one else's, she and Tom closed out the Ball, seeing the last of the parties leave and climbing the stairs together, arm-in-arm.
* . * . *
Tom asked Fanny to be his wife within the month, unable to contain himself any longer. He asked her in the library after her lessons, going over phrases with her when the sun caught her just right, as she was smiling at him a laugh at the corner of her lips, and he knew she loved him.
"Veux-tu m'épouser?"
"Oui."
Sir Thomas wrote Mr. Price with the necessary details, Mr. Price writing back expressing all the happiness he could for a child he neither knew or cared for, and that was it. They married in the spring, waiting only long enough because Lady Bertram insisted Fanny have the latest in style for her clothes and journeying to London with her nieces to make sure all was proper. It gave William enough time to get back to Mansfield to speak for his sister. The wedding party being joined by Mr. and Mrs. Yates, the latter of which seemed surprised to see such a large crowd gathered for the wedding, many addressing the new Mrs. Bertram by name. To see her cousin and brother so happy in their vows was a blow to her and she resolved to be happier in her own marriage, because surely if Fanny could look so pleased with life there was no reason she couldn't.
They honeymooned for three months, Tom taking Fanny to all the places he wanted her to see, and continuing on to see the places she had read about but never dared to dream to actually go. Tom gave his wife pleasure she had never know, she gave him the fulfillment he never dared to hope fore and when they arrived home they were already expecting the newest member to the family.
* . * . *
Fanny was waiting on the couch beside sister and aunt, her hands moved rhythmically with the needles, making a coat for her unborn child. Her husband beamed at her from across the room and her chest refilled with pride and love. They wee counting down the weeks now to see if she could deliver an heir, but she wasn't concerned if their first child was a son or daughter, they would have plenty more, just so long as Tom was by her side she could wait, she was good at that.
~ fin ~