Author's notes: This story may end up slashly later on… who knows. I would like to know if I should continue this story, for I have several in progress. Therefore, I guess it just depends on what kind of reviews I get. -_^

On another note, I just heard Gary Oldman is going to play Sirius. I am very, very happy if this is true. I always thought he would be great as Sirius. In addition, a BIG THANK YOU goes out to all who reviewed already. I am working on the second Ch. I hope to get it out soon. And thanks to My Ringo for pointing out my spelling… love yea' babe. -_^\../

Harry Potter and the Pissed Off P.M.

Chapter 1:

Three Deadly Words

Black robes bellowing in a fearsome way, as Professor Severus Snape marched, almost ran to his classroom. Our beloved Professor was not an idiot. He knew that something's just never mix. For example, three things that should never, NEVER be locked in side a room were Lockhart, Neville, and a Potion.

On returning from a mission for Dumbledore, the striding Professor was alarmed to learn who was teaching his class in his absence. Snape almost fainted when Dumbledore told him and that is why Snape was running to his class, as his seventh year students rush out into the hallway.

Quickly Snape spotted one of his targets; Neville turned almost transparent when he saw his real potions master. Glaring down at the boy Snape gently clasped his long fingers on the boy shoulder, knowing if he used too much force the boy would plainly drop dead. "What happened?" He also made sure his voice was low and not completely threatening.

Neville was stuttering for his answer but did not get to it as Lockhart ushered Hermione and Ron out of the classroom. "Now, now," He told them. "There is nothing to worry about. Everything will be just— SQUEAK!"

Severus grabbed Lockhart by the collar, lifting him off the floor, so they were eye to eye. "What happened?!" This time he used his voice to its full aggressive manner.

"It's… it's nothing, really!" Professor Lockhart screeched. "Nothing I can't handle!"

"It's Harry, Professor." Snape, still holding Lockhart high, glared down at Hermione. He nodded for her to continue. "He well, he was paired up with Neville," Neville fainted, with a gasp. "And… well… look." She opened the door to the classroom, walking in. A curious creature Severus was indeed followed suite setting down Lockhart only to drag the man with him by the collar.

Slowly the rest of the class followed them in, all hunched through the doorway. His black eyes scanning the room did not notice anything amiss until Hermione stopped in front of a pile of Gryffindor robes. Snape eyed the spot knowing that they were the last remains of Harry Potter. "Everyone," As they all jumped at Snapes' hiss, he turned to face his class. "Class is dismissed. There will be no homework for the night and no points taken, until I sort out this mess." His students slowly started to leave and Lockhart as well, until Severus grabbed his collar again. "And for God sakes, someone take Mr. Longbottum to the hospital wing."

"Hermione and I will, Professor." Ron poked his head through the doorway.

Severus nodded saying, "Very well." Hermione walked pasted her two teachers not looking at them only trying to get Harry's scream to stop ringing in her head. "Miss Granger." She jumped and turned. "Don't be surprised when I call you to my office latter. I will want a full insight on this whole mess and I'm sure I'll get one from you."

"Yes, sir." Snape nodded to her to go help Ron with the fainted Neville. Finally, the chance he was waiting for. Snape turned to Lockhart to give him the verbal lashing he so deserved, but as he went to open his mouth the Gryffindor pile of robes moved.

Forgetting about Lockhart completely, Snape walked to where Harry last stood. Kneeling down Snape's hand stopped in mid-reach as the pile moved again with the sound of a muffled giggle. Shaking his head the Professor, very carefully rummaged through the robes. What he found bewildered him.

Bright green eyes, surrounded by large black frames, rested lopsided on the little button nose. Pulling the rest of the cloches away, Snape found a very small, curious and nude Harry Potter. "Potter." Snape whispered as he lifted the child up to his great height. Harry gave into giggling has the wind rushed through his dark wild hair.

Holding the child to his chest Severus turned to face Lockhart only to find that he was a smarter man then Snape thought. Severus was alone in his classroom, with Baby Harry reaching for his long hair. Severus's breath hitched, as he looked down to the bundle in his arms, Slytherin green eyes caught the Professors in a studied glare. It felt as if this little boy was reading his dark soul. Looking away quickly, hoping the boy would not be frightened, Snape picked up Potter's robes, wrapping Harry in his Gryffindor cloak.

Out in the hall Snape locked the door to his classroom. Holding Harry closer he headed for the Office of Albus Dumbledore.

***

"Reese's Pieces." Snape rolled his eyes as the gargoyle jumped out of his away. Even though the stairway moved, Severus took two at a time getting him to the office door faster.

"By all means Severus, come in." Dumbledore voice leaked out of the door as Snape was lifting his hand to knock. Grouchily Snape walked in to the Headmasters office with Harry still close in his arms. "I'm to expect that something went wrong."

"Of course something went wrong!" Severus snapped. "What were you thinking? Lockhart! In my class!"

"Severus calm down." Albus's voice was stern but loving. "He was the only one I could bring here in such short notice. Now what happened?" Snape glared at the Headmaster and very carefully sat Baby Harry down on Dumbledore desk. The blue twinkling eyes widened as they stared down at the green-eyed child, who took it upon himself to chew on the feathers of the professor's quills. "Dear me."

"I just don't understand it, Albus!" Snape quietly roared sitting in one of the high backed chairs in front of the desk. "If Lockhart fallowed the lesson plan I left, then today their potions would have been the equivalent to a muggle strawberry soda pop." He sighed placing his head in his hands. "How the bloody hell anyone could make that potion do that to Potter is anyone's guess." After a long silence, Severus looked up to see the Headmaster help Baby Harry drink tea out of a small cup. "Headmaster, are you listening to me?"

"Of course I am." Dumbledore giggled as Baby Harry started blowing bubbles in his tea. "Now, does anyone else know about Harry here?"

Snape looked thoughtful for a moment. His black eyes seemed unfocused but quietly turned sharp and deadly. "I don't think so. I believe the whole class thinks Potter just became a pile of robes. I was not there to witness it and I found Baby Potter after everyone left." He looked thoughtful once again. Adding, "I've told Miss Granger that I would send for her later on, to see if I could get some insight on what happened."

"I don't think that would be necessary." Snape opened his mouth to protest when a rather loud knock rung through the office. "Please do come in, Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley."