I OWN NOTHING

If anyone's interested to help a guy out, I could seriously use some betas right now. With a job and real-life drama, it's been harder to try to write.

Now... please give some love to Serendipitous House Pet for helping me with this madness! Seriously, he's a great writer and I don't deserve his help, or godly patience which makes him immune to my bullshit.

X-X-X-X-X

"So, what did I miss?" Keitaro asked Tsukune as the two found each other in a hall.

"I could've done better..." the brunet replied while leaning on a wall for support, "I managed the old diplomacy approach... It worked, surprisingly. She really loves the guy."

"Yeah...I will need to apologize to Briefs when that Kneesocks tells him what happened?" Keitaro sighed, "This is just real exhausting, and it's about to get worse. I can't believe I just got serious..."

"Speaking off, how're Fishcake and Strawberry doing?" Tsukune asked while Beatles rested atop his head.

Sighing and pushing up his glasses, the other brunet took an educated guess, "If anything, these tremors are related to our whiskered friend. As for our carrot-head... I think I saw him follow that blue gimp-looking creep down a hallway."

"Should we go help them?" Tsukune asked, "Boxers is no joke, but..."

"Fishcake is a resourceful guy too stubborn to die, plus Strawberry is ridiculously strong..." Keitaro turned to the cafeteria, "The only guy who could really defeat either of them is...each other. Briefs does need our help the most if we go by that logic and trust...that those two guys will refuse to die just to kick each other's ass or boast about their wins."

"Yup, good thing hatred is such a strong emotion." Tsukune chortled.

Speaking of Ichigo, their other spiky-haired friend found it rather odd that the blue skinned man would lurk in the gymnasium but figured he had an ambush planned. "As long as I see them comin' it won't mean much." He told himself, his Stand raking his claws together in anticipation.

Ichigo kicked open the gym doors and found the creep standing in the center with dodgeballs all around him, "Ah, another Stand user comes to grace me with his presence." Corset said as he clasped his hands together, a pleased grin etching its way onto his face, much to Ichigo's disgust. "Allow me to introduce myself formally, I am Corset."

"Cut the nonsense, creep," Ichigo growled as Megadeth appeared with an eerie, low snarl, "I'm here to cut you down along with your plans."

"Ah, of course you are," Corset chuckled as he clapped two times. The dodgeballs started to float and sprouted black spikes, "Such a shame. Unlike the other users dear Briefs brought, you had quality potential. I could feel the power of the old ghosts within you. Alas..." several twelve-foot ghosts resembling burly jocks with spiked heads and gaping maws where their faces should be appeared, holding the death balls within their talons, "You must be eradicated."

Ichigo quirked a brow when Corset snapped his fingers. The balls were thrown with incredible power behind them and would've left Ichigo in bad shape had they not been shredded midair in a few swift motions by Megadeth. The balls had barely left the ghosts hands when they were destroyed. The ghosts themselves were left gawking while Corset laughed and clapped his hands.

"Was that seriously the best these grunts could do or what?" the teen angrily snarled.

"Marvelous, Mr. Kurosaki, marvelous!" Corset laughed while the ghosts backed away which made Corset lose his mirth, "What are you idiots doing? I don't pay for you to do nothing."

The ghosts turned to each other, then one turned towards their master, "You don't pay us at all."

"I pay you with un-life. Now charge!" He yelled, pointing towards the currently sweat dropping teen. They hesitated until Corset warned, "Either fight him...or learn about the glory of bondage with me." That washed away all hesitation from the ghosts. With roars bellowing from their jaws, they simultaneously lunged towards Ichigo.

"Why do I always get stuck with the crap job?" He asked himself then shook his head. Megadeath karate-chopped the air horizontally in a fluid motion. Almost all the ghosts were bisected save for the three a little more obscured by their comrades though they were left with debilitating wounds.

"Ah, so there's something to it." Corset mused with a hand on his chin as he watched Ichigo's Stand finish off the three stragglers. "Mr. Kurosaki, I noticed how the ghosts not within the front line weren't as cleanly sliced like the rest."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes, unsettled by how Corset already knew his last name or where Corset may have been getting at, "Your point?"

"I deduce that your Stand may be sight based. You were able to cut the dodgeballs, which were easily visible, with little trouble yet the ghosts, who managed to get closer, weren't as easily torn asunder, " Corset's grinned widened, "at least not the ones in the back row. Not to mention their cuts were only made on spots visible to you. Am I wrong?"

Ichigo eyes widened before he shook his head and chuckled, "Shit, yeah, you're right, ya perceptive creep. Those ghosts were just your cannon fodder, weren't they?"

Corset threw his back with laughter before staring back at the boy and replied, "I would've been utterly dismayed by your performance had they been able to take you down."

Ichigo's own grin was replaced by a deep scowl, "So tell me, then, creep. How do you know my name?"

"Word spreads fast among the dead, Mr. Kurosaki." Corset promptly answered, "You've already toyed in the affairs of the supernatural before and even interacted with more powerful spirits. I was giddy at the prospect of your arrival, Mr. Kurosaki."

Ichigo internally groaned, remembering all those times he had to get involved with those damn reapers and hollowed souls back in his hometown with Naruto, "All I ever wanted was a peaceful life but instead I'm stuck with this and that ramen obsessed moron and other weird things... Then again, I may be the better off one." At the very least, Ichigo could proudly say he didn't have a vampire yandere after his booty. Ichigo shrugged it off and pointed towards Corset, "Alright, Conquer or Die!"

"RRRROOOOOOGGRAAARRRAAA!" Megadeth roared and snarled as his muscles expanded before it waved both arms in a frenzy towards the now surprised Corset. Said man quickly used him minor psychic abilities to rip the floor upwards, obscuring him from Ichigo's veiw just in time to avoid being reduced to ribbons. He reacted fast enough to avoid major damage but still received some lacerations.

More importantly, "Agh! You cut up some of my ropes!" He shrieked as he ran while uplifting the floor to avoid Ichigo's vision.

"Get your priorities straight!" The teen yelled back, his Stand snarling like a rabid dog as it sliced through everything in its way and some things a little out of the way, "Geez, you gonna make me tear the whole place apart?" he asked his Stand as much as he asked Corset; Megadeth was as much of a danger to his enemies as himself if he didn't watch carefully what he cut.

Corset growled to himself, his anger rising over his pleasure by the terrifying power that Stand displayed, 'Getting close is indeed a hard task but,' he held back a groan of satisfaction as the ropes on his body began to tighten, to slither, 'it's far from impossible.'

Ichigo could see Corset was running out of room to run and duck from Megadeth, "Almost there." He muttered until he heard something burrowing from under him. He looked at the floor beneath him and leapt back, narrowly avoid pitch black BDSM ropes from entangling him, "Oh hell no, I'm not into that!"

"GRRROOOO!" Megadeth practically obliterated the ropes and floor they resided in, fueled by Ichigo's immense displeasure.

"Is that really all you've got!" Ichigo taunted with Megadeth itself looking as unimpressed as it's user. He received no response for a few seconds. "Creep!?" Then he felt the tremors and gym began to shake, "What the hell? I didn't tear the place up that much, did I?"

Rumbling under his feet brought his attention to the floor as a large, bulging arm popped out and grabbed his ankle hard enough to nearly break the bone! "Mr. Kurosaki, that was rude..." Corset growled before a hulking version of himself popped out. Ichigo yelped as he dangled upside down while the enormous demon looked at him with near cartoonish buggy eyes and a wide smirk. As well as the body of a bodybuilder... If said bodybuilder had a diet of nails, testosterone and leather. Whatever remained of Corset's attire was wrapped around his body tightly, somehow making his musculature pop out.

"Oh sh-" the orange-haired teen couldn't finish his sentence when being flung into a wall!

"RROOAAAHH!" Megadeth held him from behind, using its ethereal body as a pillow to cushion the crash.

It didn't mean it didn't hurt as his back felt some of the impact which sent the Stand and its user through five walls into the painful stop in an empty bathroom. Ichigo's body was cradled as Megadeth's back plowed through the tiles, kicking up concrete and dust until its back hit the urinals. The strawberry boy was at least grateful Briefs had fiancées devoted enough to rules to keep a bathroom sparkling clean at all times. However, destiny seemed to mock him when he got up on his feet for a pipe to burst and rain on his head.

"I hope Fishcake's luck is twice as rotten as mine..." he growled, hoping he'd hear how much of a shitty day the whiskered boy was having to ease his mind and soul.

And as if fate pitied him in a twisted way, the blond arrived...by crashing through the floor and landing next to him!

"Gah! Dammit...!" Naruto gasped and wheezed as he rolled away from the hole he was shot through, then spat out a wad of blood. "That strawberry better be having as bad a day as I am..." he groaned while said rival of his stared in shock, "What...the shit are you...doing here...fifteen?" he was too tired and mauled to properly curse him.

"That's my question, Whiskers!" Ichigo snapped, "You look like you got chewed by a coyote and then shat downhill! What the fuck just-"

"Mr. Kurosaki, we're not done..." Corset said as he leapt into the restroom through the hole he sent Ichigo through.

"He your new butt-buddy?" Naruto had to be an ass when he had the chance.

"Up yours, Fishcake..." Ichigo casually flipped him the bird and used a wall to lean on, "Give me a hand..."

"My ribs are fine powder, so kiss my ass and do it yourself, asshole..." Naruto growled with a glare.

Ichigo smirked, "I didn't know you were such a pansy..."

"Okay, lick my taint..." Naruto grunted, but forced himself up by shooting out a chain from Lotus Juice in order to yank himself to his full height.

Corset was too amused, clapping slowly, "Now, now, now, this is quite the show! I didn't think there'd be a duo more dysfunctional than those dirty fallen angels, but congratulations, Mr. Kurosaki and Mr. Uzumaki for surprising me. You've made this quite an amusing battle, if a little one-sided."

"Oi, what's he saying?" Ichigo turned to Naruto with a smirk, which the blond returned to the orange-head.

"Seems to me he doesn't see which one's pulling their weight." Naruto said while blood dripped down his lips.

"Let's teach him a lesson, then..." Ichigo said as Megadeth cracked his knuckles and Lotus Juice swirled around the foxy boy.

Corset just laughed, "Allow me to guffaw...as I end this in one strike!" he blurred out in a burst of speed, near instantly teleporting himself to the two for a wide punch.

"Got it!" Naruto said as he yanked the chain he had used to get up, making Corset's eyes widen.

His body had frozen in place, "Hurk!? What...what's...happening!?" he then shrieked when seeing a chain pull at one of his strings from the side, keeping his body in place, "This... How did it find that string!?" fear, true utter fear escaped him in a loud, high-pitched scream of terror while the tip of the bladed chain read one word: weakness.

"So, that's the spot, the weakness..." Ichigo said with a smirk and pointed forward as the two tilted their bodies to the side, a fist reared back.

"Yup, Lotus Juice doesn't lie!" Naruto said with a smirk as his fist was engulfed with a golden flame, "Sendo Hamon..."

"Tornado of..." Ichigo growled as Megadeth took a karate stance.

Both shouted as one and unleashed their strike, "SOULS OVERDRIVE!"

Corset could only say one word as he saw the incoming attack with tears in his eyes, "Fuck..."Megadeth unleashed a furious shout and lashed out with wild karate chops as Lotus Juice's links burnt with Ripple energy. The result was pure light energy burning the demon's body while deep gashes appeared over his flesh, deep enough to reveal bone which got near-instantly charred to a crisp!

"Burn in Hell, creep!" the two punks snapped and took the pleasure to punch him on the face, making Corset flip twice before fallen into a motionless heap.

As the two breathed deeply, Naruto finally succumbed and fell to his knees, "Oi, what's the matter!?" Ichigo asked with some amount of concern.

"I got my ass kicked by the worst Ghost..." Naruto grunted and let himself get carried by his most hated friend, an arm around the strawberry boy's shoulder.

"Are you serious?" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"Not just a Ghost...that was...HIS Ghost..." Naruto panted, "We need to get Briefs..."

"Hang tight." Ichigo said and hurried his face as best he could.

Naruto shook his head while keeping up as best he could, "Not for me, you...ugh, too in pain to snap... I need his help to maybe get a chance to kill that monster..."

"Fine, but you owe me a meal for this."

"Asshole, can't you count? We're even..."

"Bullshit, I had the lead."

"Like Hell you...ugh, just get us there!"

X-X-X-X-X

As the two frenemies reunited, so did a father and son, though it was far less heartwarming for deep within the subterranean lair they were locked in mortal combat.

"Oh, Briefers, how you have grown!" Boxer's roared excitedly with Blue Oyster Cult swirling above his head, "But did you expect me to stay the same!?" Then his Stand split off into two groups to flank Briefs and Gun Roses.

"It certainly shows!" Brief sarcastically retorted as his Stand placed its hands on two stalagmites next to him which grew at alarming rate as the oysters came close. The sudden cave formations broke them apart and forced those that weren't impacted to slow down to eat their way through.

"Is that really all you're going to do, Briefers? Playing defense?" Boxers mocked as his Stand hastily recovered directly above him. He was going to have his flock land right on top of Briefs to rip him apart. "It's all about offense, child! I'll have you In Three!"

But his son foresaw this and propped his foot against a stone directly behind himself. He used the force of the sudden growth of the object to propel himself toward his target, narrowly missing the flock as it touched down. Tiny portions of his outfit were missing behind him including bits of his scarf.

'He's definitely paying for that," he bitterly thought.

"Tch, not bad." Boxers called his stand back, making them rush toward Brief before his son could reach him.

"I had to get something from mom, after all!" Briefs shot back as he prepared himself.

Blue Oyster Cult was faster than the rocketing young man and made him improvise, having Gun Roses stop them before digging into the ground to grow a giant rock pillar. It saved Brief from being eaten, but his rock shield was swiftly chewed through. It toppled over like a tree but it somewhat worked to Brief's advantage as he made Gun Roses push the pillar toward his opponent and slid down the slope as it fell.

Boxers scoffed as his stand surrounded his front like a magical shield., "These games of cat and mouse only delay the inevitable!"

"Of course." Brief agreed and looked back to give his father a vicious grin. "Eventually you're gonna give me an opening to cut you down!"

"Like you'll get the chance." Boxers chuckled, "My oysters, you're in Perfect Water!" He roared. Rather than have his stand follow his prey directly, he completely had Blue Oyster Cult scatter. Instead of having his stand chase him like voracious hounds, they would swarm him like piranha and tear the chunks right from him piece by piece. "I should have done this from the start rather than play around with you!"

In a group, the oysters were oddly much slower if greatly destructive, but separate, they sped off like bullets with minds of their own in this mode. Perhaps the coordination from Boxers put a strain on them because as a flock they functioned like a whole, slower, all-consuming organism. Brief couldn't really afford to think on it and had to brace himself under the constant assault of ravenous oysters. He had Gun Roses lash out whenever an oyster flew at him as fast it could and they constantly came at him.

"Aagh!" Brief yelped in pain from having an oyster take a bite from his back after slicing another lone oyster in half. Boxers grunted as a random scratch came upon his cheek from the damage done to his stand. 'This isn't good.' Brief mentally groaned as he grunted from a piece of his arm coming off thanks to an oyster biting into his stand's arm. 'Killing his oysters at a time won't damage Boxers like he's damaging me! I need a way out of this position or I'm a goner but these damn thing's ain't given me room to breathe.'

Six oysters flew at him from different directions and Brief prepared for the worst. They were all aiming for vital areas and he doubted Gun Roses could stop them all. If he used another grow technique then he would find himself in the same or worse situation to fight back. Gun Roses was primed to go down fighting when the oysters had suddenly stopped midair as a strange sound had hit them and Brief. This strange sound was familiar and made him feel... calm, at peace like when he had witnessed the end of the original Ghostbusters.

There was only one thing, one man who could do that to stands and people.

Brief smiled. "It's about time you showed up. I was genuinely worried."

"I know this is personal, but I wasn't going to let you get eaten alive." Tsukune said as his tiny Stand used shockwaves which kept the oysters at bay.

"Grr... how are you doing this?" Boxers asked with furiously bared teeth.

"Yellow Submarine." Tsukune explained as he pointed a finger forward, "The perfect stillness of water in the form of sound... and soon it'll become a tempest!" he exclaimed as his tiny Stand flew off, "Go, Beatles!" he shouted as his bug Stand flew into the soundwaves... and disappeared! "Ride those soundwaves, little buddy!"

"What!? Where'd it g-" Boxers cut himself short when all of a sudden yellow blurs from the golden beetle appeared while his oysters started to get slashed by its horn. Wounds appeared on the man's bearded face as well as his sides, arms and legs, staining his white suit red. However, it wasn't enough to quench his rage, "ENOUGH!"

Blue Oyster Cult bit into the air and devoured the space, "Gah!" Tsukune yelped as if his body was crushed, his limbs twisting as they were pinned in place violently.

"Enjoy the vacuum, brat." Boxers chortled, "The air pressure will either crush you or make you explode along your Stand as I devour space its-"

"Painkiller!/Urya!" Judas Priest arrived to kick the oysters nearest to Beatles out of the way to scoop the small bug out of the way.

Once Tsukune dropped, Briefs turned to Keitaro, "What took you?"

Ichigo hooked a thumb to Naruto with a free hand, him and Keitaro holding the blond by a shoulder each, "This idiot got too mangled by whatever's in here." His response was getting the blond boy's middle finger. "See? He can't even properly insult me."

"Wait, do you mean..." Boxers paused his attack, marveled at the news when his anger became awe at one fact, "He's awakened!?" then, a mad grin spread on his face, "Marvelous... marvelous! OH YES! OH JUST SO ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS! AHAHAHAHAHA!" the man threw his entire upper body back in a loud fit of maniacal laughter.

"Hey, asshole, start explaining shit!" Ichigo yelled. "What's gotten you so excited!? What did Fishcake fight!?"

Breathing deeply in relief and joy, Boxers held his face with one hand and sighed in bliss, "That man, the one who trusted me enough to not need control over me, the one I've fought so much for, the one I needed a son to aid..." Briefs' eyes widened and his fist clenched. "He gave me so much for my services, and yet I was unable to aid him in his hour of need. But now... NOW I CAN! AHAHAHA!"

"Rewind there, Boxers, what do I have to do with this!?" the mad man's son asked.

"Your Stand and power were needed to make him complete, son..." Boxers started, regaining some composure yet remaining giddy as his eyes twitched. "It's a shame, but Corset and I couldn't fully bring him back in the condition he left us. Thus, we devised a way to bring back his soul as a Ghost... we just need to polish it."

"What makes you think he'd get your fuck-buddy back!?" Ichigo snapped.

"Something tells me it wasn't voluntary help, Strawberry." Keitaro deadpanned.

"Enough foolishness, I must see my master and grant him his power back." Boxers said as he pulled out a long box from his suit.

"Like we'd let y-" Briefs exclaimed but was cut off by a gunshot.

"Sorry, but my loyalty remains..." said Scanty as she appeared with Kneesocks at her side, the two looking down and away from Briefs' eyes.

Boxers grinned, "And we know you've been friendly, Briefers." He smirked as Barby was pulled from behind him by some jock Ghosts.

"Scanty, Kneesocks, don't you dare..." Briefs snarled at his fiancées.

"I'm afraid we must, darling." Kneesocks coolly told him.

"Your friend tried and failed to protect her once... he awoke." Scanty said.

"And we could do nothing but obey, he is beyond powerful." Kneesocks added solemnly.

"Sorry, Briefers, but I must see that man." Boxers said with a smirk, turning to leave.

"Don't turn your back on me, asshole! Not after all you did to my mother!" Briefs snapped, too furious to think straight until the two demon girls pointed their weapons at the cheerleader Ghost. "What're you two doing!? Isn't it against your rules to do something like this!?"

"Indeed, we are here to bring order to this cesspool." Kneesocks replied firmly.

Scanty looked down, "And yet... we have to make a decision for that one goal..."

"Hm?" Boxers asked, turning... to find Scanty's revolvers pointed at his eyes, Kneesocks' scythes at his sides to split him in two, and the other Ghosts dead! He merely narrowed his eyes at the twin sisters with his ever present frown, "Explain the meaning of this, you two. Do you know what you're stopping?"

"Our goal remains unchanged." Scanty said with a smirk. "The fact is that man you admire is a threat to our unified society."

"And..." Kneesocks blushed as did Scanty, "We agreed long ago we don't need your blessing to marry the man we love."

Ichigo blinked in shock before turning to Briefs, "Damn... you did something good with those two."

Once freed, Barby joined in, "We talked... It was by one of Briefs' friends that it was easier to break through their barriers." She extended her hand to the side, several bees of enormous size appearing at her side. "A man who'd show kindness to a demon is one worth defending, fighting for and... loving..." she also blushed along the other two girls.

"Love truly is a disease of fools." Boxers said before smirking, "Did you forget I had this planned for quite a long time? Do you think betrayal is something I will allow to slow me down!? Do any of you believe I shall let you... YOU VILE MONGRELS TO STOP MY MASTER'S REBIRTH!?" he turned around, a face-splitting grin of madness crossing his face as he opened the box and revealed...

"Oh shit... he's got..." Keitaro said in awe.

Boxers held up the item high, not caring what the sisters and Barby did to him, "Not on this life!" all three girls shouted as one as bullets flew, blades sliced and bees stung.

"Hahahaha!" Boxers laughed as his body was slowly torn to shreds, and yet he used it, "Arrow, grant me power to serve my master!" and stabbed his own throat with a golden Stand Arrow.

"Scanty, Kneesocks, Barby!" Briefs yelled as he ran to help them, but the Arrow's power already took effect.

"...aha... AHAHAHAHA!"

Boxers' laugh was accompanied with a gust of air as the three girls were sent flung backwards with deep cuts over their bodies and loud screams of pain and shame, "KYAH!" their clothes were shredded, leaving a good amount of their flesh exposed yet now too much. Briefs was quick to kneel down to mend their wounds while his friends mounted a defense for him.

"This... this power will soon course through my master's new body... I just need to fully polish it." Boxers said as he walked forward, his wounds clean and his hair standing up in a wild spiky mane. As he walked with the intention to crush the traitors and his enemies, he smirked when his body slowly changed, "Briefers, I thank you, if you hadn't pushed me this way, I wouldn't be worthy of serving him."

"Shut. Up." Briefs was so mad he skipped yelling and went right to cold murder mode. "For once shut your mouth, Boxers."

"Well then, let me show you my new power..." the man said as everyone put their guard up, "Don't Fear the Reaper!" Gales of wind slashed the air and sent the group flying deeper into the cave, cutting their bodies and clothes as well as the walls. "Fear the fury of Blue Oyster Cult's true ultimate power, an attack to destroy everything before me! Ahahahah!"

Everyone landed where the core was, Naruto spitting out some blood, "Alright, show of hands... who's willing to rip out his throat...?" he asked with ragged breath as he got up on wobbly knees in a pair of orange boxers with red swirls, and cuts all over his body just like everybody else.

"Do you even need to ask?" Briefs retorted as he got up in a pair of clean white briefers as he resumed healing the sisters and Barby with Gun Roses.

"Let's end this asshole." Ichigo said once on his feet with black boxers adorned with skulls, "His laugh is annoying."

"Agreed." Keitaro said, adjusting his glasses in red boxers with black watermelon seeds adorning them. "Also, I'm in the mood for seafood."

"Good to see we've still got our sense of humor." Tsukune joked in a pair of light blue boxers with purple stripes.

"Sorry we couldn't be of use..." Scanty said miserably in black lace lingerie.

"No need to fret, we'll win this one way or another." Briefs said with a smile, "Then we can plot the wedding."

"Darling..." Kneesocks was moved to tears with the same underwear as her sister.

"You can do it, we'll cheer you up!" Barby said with a smile in a pink panties and revealing bra combo.

"Alright, Fishcake, how do we wipe that smile off his face?" Keitaro asked with one hand holding up his glasses.

"Lotus Juice picked his weak-spot a while back... I think..." the blond said as he pulled back a blue chain.

"It's the best we got." Ichigo said.

Tsukune sighed, "Things are dire if you two get along."

Briefs nodded and went to heal Naruto, "Then let's end this. Where's that weak spot?"

"Just wait a little longer, master," Boxers purred as he strode to the teens with his stand swirling around him. "Once Briefers and his meddlesome motley crew are taken care of, you will be restored." He stopped in his tracks as a barrage of black bullets were rushing his way.

"You're not taking our man from us!" shouted the demon sisters.

Boxers scoffed as his oysters easily formed a small wall that literally ate the bullets, "A futile attempt I must say." He muttered in a disinterested tone as he noticed Scanty started to run in a circular path. He noticed Kneesocks went off in a different direction and made a mental note to be on the lookout.

"Say that after this!" Ichigo roared. "Conquer or Die!" His stand roared and began to slash as Boxers wildly, knocking his chest before the oysters instinctively shielded him. The man growled and had a group of his oysters burrow underground while a swarm was sent after Scanty. The underground ones almost caught Ichigo off guard but Tsukune's stand intercepted them and blasted them apart.

Troublesome. Boxers' new power was indeed a force to be reckoned with but he knew better than to get careless. He was eager but not impatient, he would wait the next chance. Then, he felt a sudden weight come upon him, specifically his Stand. A large stone had landed atop his position and it was growing, almost exponentially. Not only was he being shot at and sliced upon, he was being crushed too.

Boxers smirked however. He could make this work. Rather than fight back, he recalled all his oysters to hold back the boulder and had a few dig a hole around him under the cover of darkness. It hurt but pain would only encourage progress. 'Foolish Brief! This will only provide me with cover!' He mentally gloated. 'This will give me time to work out a strategy and... wait, I hear a rumbling below me.' His eyes widened and he barely had time to prepare when blades emerged from the ground he laid upon, nearly piercing his back.

"Almost!" Kneesocks cried, dreading how close she was to ending the man.

"Don't Fear The Reaper!" He shouted in his brief state of panic.

Rather than try to slash apart the entire boulder in one attack, he slashed at the front half of it and a larger section of the ground before bolting out of the way and making his oysters scatter. Briefs used Guns Roses to toss the boulder away and Kneesocks burst from the ground. Her scythes were poised for another thrust into Boxers' midsection until she was pulled back by Briefs before the oysters could converge on her. His father's eyes narrowed and he immediately had the oysters cluster around him, ready to go on the defensive and offensive as the teens surrounded him.

Just as everyone was about to spring into action, they heard a loud crash from above them, "Surprise, motherfuckers!" Came the cry of a loudmouth Panty as she crashed through the cave ceiling in a bright pink Humvee alongside the aloof Stocking. They were right atop Boxer's position and the man didn't even bat an eye and sent a volley of oysters upon them.

Panty and Stocking leapt right out before their car was destroyed, "Asshole, you know how much lip Garter's gonna give us for that shit!" The blonde yelled as she and sister landed beside Naruto. They were visibly pleased by his state of dress.

"Okay, what did you get yourself into, Whiskers?" Ichigo asked his partner.

"Jealous much?" the boy asked.

Panty, however, liked the exchange, "Hey, Stocking, I'm up for carrots if you still want the chains."

"Wait, carrots...?" Ichigo started slowly, realization dawning upon him. "Oh no, no way in Hell! You want the annoying pincushion! At least get him away from my sisters and life!"

"Suffer like I do, asshole!" Naruto snapped his jaws at him like a gator.

"I'm not getting your sloppy seconds," the gothic angel said.

"How about a foursome?" Panty offered.

"FUCK THAT NOISE!" the spiky-haired duo of frenemies shouted.

"Enough of your idiocy!" Boxers was even madder as he summoned far more oysters, "Don't Fear-gh!"

"That's right, I won't fear you," said none other than Barby as she raised a hand. "I didn't think my abilities would work quite this well, but I had to try..." she breathed out evenly as she lifted her hands. A swarm of ghost bees had sneaked up behind Boxers, stinging his back and making sure he couldn't move from the pain and their venom!

"You... little..." the bearded man snarled, falling down to one knee.

"I'm afraid you didn't realize what having actual friends, people you trust and in return respect you for who you are, truly does, father," Briefs said as he approached him. Guns Roses readied itself for any attack or a minuscule opportunity to turn the man into mush. "Cheesy as it is, these guys are as much my power as I am theirs. You, however, only have your own. Great as it may be, you can't outdo the effort we've all put in order to bring you down! Now..." he aimed a finger at him as if it were a revolver, "Prepare yourself to be judged!"

Tears welled up on the corners of Boxers' eyes as snot ran down his nose from pure, absolute terror, "BRIIIIIIEEEEEFS!"

"DERYA!" the Stand roared as it started to pummel the man into the ground, its fists sailing as Boxers was bombarded with punches, sinking into the floor deeper and deeper in a hole shaped like his body. All of the hatred Briefs had packed more strength, making each strike heavier than the last. Everyone watched in awe, slight horror and fascination the massacre. Punching downwards, the Stand kept pummeling the man, a sad former shell of himself as his bones shattered, his organs burst, and his once proud visage was utterly ruined by a storm of knuckles.

And, once he was down, a limp, whimpering mess was left, "Br... brr..."

"And now..." Briefs started, and suddenly Boxers was back up again, his body realigning itself from the mangled mess it was. "A word with you."

"What... are you doing...?" Boxers asked, down on his knees, shamed and yet unable to fight back.

"I didn't heal you out of the goodness of my heart, father!" Briefs snapped, "Don't think for a second this is mercy! Tell us how to stop this resurrection process and destroy it for good, or else I'll rearrange all your flesh and bones into a statue to seal you for eternity so you may repent for your sins until the end of time!"

Scanty shuddered, "Kneesocks-san, is it bad I'm a tad... aroused?"

"No, sister, that's good... save it for tonight," the spectacled demon said with a large blush.

Boxers had to ruin the moment with a smirk, "Did you think you could end it so easily? It's already underway..."

"What?" everyone asked in shock...

A soft voice made them turn their heads.

A sound they wished to never listen to...

"Wryyy..."

Keitaro didn't need Judas Priest's warnings to know the truth he spoke eloquently, "Alright... we're fucked."

"Not... entirely..." Naruto grunted as he finally got up. "When the asshole beat me up, he didn't have a Stand. Trust me, I tried to find it just to keep my distance. I'm guessing that's what Briefs' old fart had a damn Stand Arrow for."

"And he's coming to get it..." Ichigo gulped with a cold sweat, "Shit, regardless of whether or not he has The World, that guy's still..."

"Say it or the anticipation will make us unable to fight," Tsukune calmly told him, albeit feeling a layer of his own perspiration on his brow. "Dio Brando..."

From a corner, he appeared in half his glory. A ghost through and through. A pitch-black body built like a tank. Muscles over muscles which could charm any woman with their sensuality were turned as dark as coal with yellow veins pulsating over a chiseled torso. Golden hair stood up in the most majestic of mullets while a face seemingly perpetually covered in shadow didn't reveal any eyes or a mouth. And yet the sight of a pair of baggy yellow pants with gold shoes the kind one would see a clown wearing didn't make it less intimidating.

"Master, forgive me!" Boxers bowed deeply to the ghost, his head on the floor between his hands, "I shall make sure your new body is perfected! All you need is your Stand, The World, and you can make my son a fitting tool to fix it! Just-"

"WRRRRYYYYYYY!"

Everyone covered their ears as Ghost DIO let out a high-pitched shriek before it lunged at Boxers' neck, biting savagely into it with a crooked mouth set into an eternal smile the likes of a jack-o'-lantern! It sucked his blood in an instant! Flesh dried up, muscles shrank and even his eyes shriveled like prunes! In a matter of seconds, Boxers Rock was dead by the hand of his biggest failure, a master he couldn't resurrect. Briefs for his part looked on in silent shock, but made up his mind.

'This is what you earned... I can't come up with a better punishment, Boxers Rock. You gave me life for this creature and took my mother's to serve this monster... In the end, I couldn't find a fitting punishment for all your actions, so it seems fate handed you the perfect one. I thank you for my life, but I shall not shed a tear for you. Farewell... father.'

And his serious train of thought was snapped by someone being more vocal, "Son of a bitch!" Panty cursed with wide eyes and everyone ran off.

Ghost DIO shrieked again, done with its feast, and turned to the group before running at them, "What the fuck was that!?" Ichigo asked, "Why did it go for the old man!?"

"Sound!" Tsukune said, "It doesn't have any eyes or nose, and it went for him when the guy shouted!"

"So we got the world's most powerful vampire as a blind ghost wanting our blood!" the carrot-head quipped, "Any other good news!?"

"That's it, it's a ghost!" Kneesocks said, "It's barely gained any semblance of consciousness! If we can kill it before it regains its memories with a proper holy tool, we... no, the world will be saved!"

"And the two angels we got should do the trick!" Scanty added, then shook her head. "No, wait, a ghost of that caliber can't be dealt with by using regular angelic weaponry! We made it so!"

"Can this work!?" Naruto asked as he reached into his mouth and yanked out what looked like a tooth, but it was in reality a crimson stone.

"A Red Stone!?" the demons asked in shock.

"He keeps a few in weirder places!" Ichigo deadpanned.

Naruto ignored him, "Hey, he's a ghost but still remains a vampire, right!? Well, this thing is supposed to super-kill bloodsuckers!"

"I mean, it could work, but..." Scanty looked at the angels, who were also weighing their options, "Your Hamon would need far more power, plus that stone isn't pure enough."

"Wait, I can craft it into a perfect one!" Briefs added. Then, he got a crazy idea as he turned to the blonde angel, "Or rather, a bullet..."

Panty leaned into Naruto, though also fondling Ichigo's butt, "You mean I can feel up some of the juice of this hunk!? Sign me up!"

"Hands off me and on Fishcake!" the strawberry snapped, the still exhausted Naruto flipping him the bird.

"It's a plan, then!?" Keitaro asked, then turned, "Because he's gaining on us! Judas Priest! Painkiller!" his Stand shed off its armor and tried to intercept Ghost DIO!

In turn, the Ghost let out a roar and kneed Judas Priest in the gut, "WRYYYYY!" it shrieked as Stand and user crashed down, Keitaro gasping for breath as he sported a nasty bruise from his psychic connection to his Stand. Everyone else put their guard up as Naruto handed the stone to Briefs, charging it with Hamon energy.

"Let's make this count!" Panty said as she opened her gun's chamber.

"TWIST AND SHOUT!" Tsukune hollered, using his Stand to try to disorient Ghost DIO. Said monster placed its hands on its ears, and quickly kicked a rock towards the tiny Stand, nailing it, "Gah!" Tsukune cried out in pain as he doubled over, his left knee bleeding after the rock broke his Stand's limbs.

"To me, my swarm!" Barby called for her bees, which bombarded Ghost DIO with their stingers, only maddening it as it quickly punched each and every single one out of its way!

"Megadeth!" Ichigo joined the fray as his Stand unleashed wild slashes to slow down the ghost.

"WRRYYYYYYY!" It pissed Ghost DIO further as the wounds healed instantly and it raced forward.

"Wish me luck, handsome!" Stocking said with a wink to Naruto. Her katanas swung at the ghost, cutting into its arm... and were stopped there, "Oh no..."

"That's enough Hamon energy!" Naruto said as he used his Stand to yank the gothic angel back, "Lotus Juice!"

"Sister, let's do our part to also slow down this monster!" Kneesocks said as she joined Ichigo in slashing Ghost Dio.

"Right behind you, Kneesocks-san!" Scanty smiled as she shot forward a barrage of bullets.

Every cut and wound were sealed instantly, but at last, Briefs let out a sigh of relief, "There, I don't think I could make it any better!" he smiled and handed Panty the red bullet, which she took with a smirk.

"Let's skip to the fun part," she then handed Briefs the gun. "Actually, you got a cleaner soul than me. Give it a shot, Geek Boy."

"Thanks." Briefs said and aimed forward, "Sayonara, father... May you repent in Hell."

A clean shot through the heart which obliterated Ghost DIO's entire chest! Unable to even cry, the imperfect ghost clawed at the air before it blew up to the sky! A pillar of flames erupted into the clouds and some citizens could see it. Angels themselves could only sigh in relief as a great evil had been stopped before it fully formed.

And, just like that, the world had been saved by a rather strange group...

X-X-X-X-X

Outside the school, standing beside a gigantic limousine, the group relaxed.

"So, what now?" Keitaro asked with bandages over his chest, "I'll finish my studies, and you?"

"Same, I ought to treat Kurumu once my leg heals," Tsukune said with a soft smile.

"We've still got Arrows to find," Ichigo said, then blanched. "And a restraining order to get."

Panty smirked as she slung her arm over his shoulder, "Come on, berry-boy, let me pop that cherry of yours and you'll never want for anything else."

"It could be worse," both Tsukune and Keitaro turned to their blond friend.

Stocking looked at Naruto with starry eyes, "Please, tie me up again! I'll even let you grope my tits!"

"I've got enough problems home, so no," Naruto sighed tiredly. "Besides, I've got a vampire yandere called Hinata after my buns."

"I don't mind a five-some!" Panty quipped.

"Neither do I!" Stocking said.

The two rivals got green faces, "With him!? Are you nuts!?"

Inside the limo, Briefs leaned back on his seat as his two demon lovers rested on him, each holding an arm as Barby rested her head on his lap, "Finally, it's over..." he breathed out with a soft smile. "It was quite a ride, but... I'm glad you were with me, girls."

"So... about the wedding..." Scanty started, sensing Barby tensing, "We don't mind extra fun. You've earned it."

Kneesocks grinned, "Besides, ghost or not, any woman who'd stand on our level for you is worthy to join us."

"Hey, p-please don't rush things!" the cheerleader blushed a bright red, to which Briefs chortled.

"Let's take it easy... we can do so now. Although, it's one evil down and many more to go."

Looking out, they saw the usual duo bickering with their new fans, Tsukune and Keitaro enjoying the show.

"You bastards aren't done yet!" yelled Corset... only a tiny drop-shaped head, as it bounced up and down with the Stand Arrow in his mouth, "I shall gather a new Stand user and bring back-"

All emotion died as he was surrounded by five Stand users, two demons, two angels, and a ghost, "Alright..." Briefs said with a smile, "Who wants to have the first go?"

"OH SH-"

Needless to say, peace would be... relatively there for Daten City. At least with a Briefers Rock as its resident ghost hunter, the people wouldn't have to worry about it.

Bizarre as it was to say that.

-FIN-

And that's my final rap!

I had fun writing this and I owe a big thanks to my beta for helping me with it. Seriously, give him more credit than me, he really comes through despite my crazy shenanigans. Now, I know finales aren't really one of my fortes, but after this wait, I couldn't do it justice. I hope you enjoyed the madness as I'm glad I finally finished this one. Now, I may go to another JJBA crossover if my fancy is tickled.

Swordslinger out!