So, um, hi guys. Yes, I'm still alive. I know it's been forever, and I cannot apologize to or thank those enough who have been sending me messages inquiring. I'm not good at talking to people, but I want you know they were appreciated. You guys are the reason I'm posting:)

I'm not going to give you a bunch of excuses because I don't think it really matters, and they're too personal to share tbh. But I've made changes to my life, and I just don't have the time to write like I used to. (On the plus side, I've lost 115 lbs since my last update, lol!)

Let's get this show on the road!

. . . Bella . . .

It was a little easier to touch him when he wasn't hovering over me, but it wasn't like he didn't enjoy having me straddling his lap like this. He kept his hands on my waist, unmoving besides his thumb that was tracing the sliver of skin above my jeans. I was trying to work my way down his arms, and unlike me, it didn't bother him a single bit. He looked comfortable, quiet, watching me with one ear bud in. I had the other one, and we were listening to his iPod on shuffle.

He thought it would be better for me to touch his hands before he tried to touch mine. Yeah, our relationship was a little weird, but I loved it. I loved him. We played video games and watched movies, practiced signing, and this. We were always working on this. I got more comfortable being close to him every single day.

Friday had accomplished its purpose. I told Edward that it wasn't like that, that he hadn't smothered me at all. I didn't want him to throw away his friendships because of me.

And he told me that he'd had fun at his fire, and that he had felt bad, realizing he'd just sort of cut out on them. And he wanted me to be able to make other friends as well.

I'm glad he said that, because asking him for permission to hang out with someone else was not happening.

So, he'd hung out with a few of his buddies throughout the week, along with his job that had started up for the holiday season, and I loved hearing about his friends and his work. Ben and Angela sounded like cool people, and I was looking forward to meeting them.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" He asked quietly. I gave him a small nod, because shopping so close to December in a big city could be a daunting task. "But you're sure you still want to go?" I nodded again, because I did. I wanted to at least try, and I really did need to go shopping.

I knew the only reason Charlie had even agreed to let me go was because Edward was going with me. I don't think Edward knew that he was a babysitter as well. I think he was the only other person Charlie trusted with me. He liked Rosalie, but I'm pretty sure he knew she'd never had to deal with one of my…episodes.

My fingers made it down to his wrists, and I traced the blue lines of his veins, my breathing speeding up as I tried to move lower. Just one more inch…

I went lightly over the backs of his hands, and my entire body shuddered.

Edward shifted slightly underneath me, and when I looked at him apologetically he was pointedly looking away. He was concentrating very hard on my bedroom door, his ears slowly turning red.

Hmm. Okay, I wasn't sure why he was embarrassed by my reaction, but it didn't look like he wanted me to stop.

I kept going, shuddering again when I touched his hands, and he let out a deep sigh, sounding frustrated. His fingers were digging into my waist a little sharply, and when I tried to move a bit to get him to loosen his grip I felt it.

Ohhhh.

His eyes flashed up to mine, he must have realised I noticed. He looked worried, and a little embarrassed. I gave him a reassuring smile, thinking he was maybe just worried about scaring me off, but that was all it took to relax him. I couldn't help my grin, biting my lip for a moment, hesitating. I moved my hands over his chest, his signature black t-shirts were ridiculously soft, before I leaned in and tentatively pressed my lips to his.

Demetri hadn't been a very good kisser when we'd started going out, it had taken a bit of work. I wasn't sure about Edward, we'd only kissed that one day, and it had been quick. But it seemed he knew what he was doing. His lips were so soft against mine, tentative at first. He pulled me closer, and my arms wrapped around his shoulders as his lips parted against mine, the tip of his tongue tasting my lip.

My heart was hammering as I opened my mouth against his, tasting, teasing. I felt like my skin was vibrating in my excitement. His hands had the slightest shake to them as they moved up my ribs, then back down to my waist. He hesitated with his fingers dipping under the hem of my tank top, possibly giving me an opportunity to protest, but I didn't want to. The skin of his hands felt like fire against my waist, and I gasped against his lips from the sensation.

I wanted more.

One of my hands slid into his hair, gripping it, the other on his neck, pulling him closer as I deepened the kiss almost desperately. He made this muffled sound in the back of his throat, his hands holding me tight as he moved me over his erection. He broke the kiss as he moaned, and I started kissing his neck as his one of his thumbs brushed along the wire of my bra.

I was just about to pull off my shirt when I heard the sound of the front door opening, accompanied by the beep of the security system. Both of us froze in confusion, and in a second I watched Edward's face go from flushed to paler than I had ever seen it.

"Is the Chief home early?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Shit. I jumped off him, running to my bedroom door, and looking back at him apologetically. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack, jumping to his feet and looking for some sort of escape route. I saw his predicament, and nodded him over to my bathroom before slipping out of my room. I don't know who he was kidding, his car was on the side of the street, Charlie knew he was here.

I smiled and nodded at him as he told me about his day, and heated up a plate of leftover lasagne for him. He took it over to the living room with a can of beer, settling in to watch his sports as usual.

When I went back to my room fifteen minutes later, Edward was lying face down on my bed, his face buried in one of the pillows. He looked up when I sat on the bed, his entire face flushed in embarrassment. I tried to fight my smile, but it couldn't be helped.

In the next minute, we were both laughing so hard we could barely breathe. It took me a while to pull in a full breath again.

"So, I may have panicked a little."

I rolled my eyes. Ya think? Though I'd been just as startled at first. Edward dropped back on the mattress with a sigh, folding his arms behind his head. I hesitated a moment, but the usual panic was barely existent, so I slid up next to him, folding my arms across his chest and resting my chin on them. He smiled, and lifted an arm, making me cringe. He stopped, giving me an apologetic smile before putting it back behind his head.

"Come closer."

I shimmied up a little bit, making him smirk.

"Closer."

I grinned, leaning over him and pressing a light kiss to his lips. I wanted to deepen it, but honestly didn't trust myself with Charlie in the next room. Edward hummed against my lips, and I leaned back, still lying half on top of him. It didn't look like my weight was making him uncomfortable, so I stayed where I was. He wanted to leave stupidly early tomorrow, so I knew he'd be going home soon and I wanted to soak up every second of him that I could.

Ugh, tomorrow. I didn't want to be nervous, but I was so worried that I was going to have some sort of episode and embarrass him in front of his friends. Or Rose. I'd never gone out with her before, what if something happened and she decided I was too weird to hang out with anymore?

"So…that wasn't on the lesson plan…but it definitely should have been," he said with a chuckle, breaking into my thoughts. "Minus the interruption." I smiled, but it must not have been very convincing. His gaze softened as he watched me, and I felt like he was looking into my mind.

"Please don't be nervous. You don't need to be. You're going to be fine, I think this will be even easier than Port Angeles," he said confidently.

I prayed he was right.

. . . Edward . . .

I pulled up into her driveway at five-thirty. It had kind of sucked going to bed so early even though there was no school today, but it was worth it to get a whole fucking day with my girl.

And it was the only day I'd have off until after Christmas. The last two weeks had been brutal, giving up my nightly visits, all of Saturday and most of yesterday. Not just work, but I'd been putting in an effort to try to hang out with some of my other friends lately too. Though I had at least gotten to see her yesterday, which had been, well, fucking awesome.

I was itching to see her. Touch her, since I could now. Usually.

And I knew she had this. I couldn't wait to show her off a bit. Plus, I'd have someone to read her notes to me as we drove this time. I sent her a text, because I didn't want to wake the Chief, and I waited impatiently for her to let me in until she finally came and opened the door. She held a finger against her lips with a smile, before running over to the kitchen. I just sort of ogled her a bit. She was wearing this tight black shirt that was practically painted onto her. It wrapped around her neck with a collar, but it had no sleeves, and left her shoulder blades completely bare. She was wearing a dark grey lacy skirt with it and her black tights, and fuck, she was just gorgeous. I followed, and watched as she grabbed a reusable grocery bag, trying to get a better read on her mood. I nodded for her to set it down, and then I took it while she slipped on a dark-red leather jacket, covering up all that gorgeous skin. She wrapped a fluffy grey scarf around her covered neck, and grabbed her purse.

She also grabbed a pair of skates from the front closet on the way out, making me smile. She had her own pair, she must know how, which was a little surprising since she was from the desert. I took those for her as well.

I got her door for her, set her bag in her lap, and put her skates in the trunk before walking around to my side and starting my car back up. I gave her one more once-over, and she caught me, and grinned.

"Before we meet up with the others," I said, smiling. She seemed fine, and I couldn't wait anymore. I wrapped my arm around the back of her chair, leaning in and giving her a slow, deep kiss. She smiled against my lips, cupping my cheek with one of her hands. I pulled away reluctantly after a moment. "Good morning."

Good morning, she mouthed back with a smile.

"So, Rose first?" She nodded, and I pulled away reluctantly. I was kind of reconsidering wasting my only full day off in stores when I could have her completely alone in her bedroom. It only took four minutes to get to Rose's. I pulled into her dark driveway and was surprised to see her sitting in the shadows on her porch. Bella just smiled as she dashed over and didn't say anything about it when Rose slipped into my car.

"Morning," she said, and Bella waved before I returned her greeting, pulling out. She leaned over in her seat, taking a bag out of her bag and sitting it down next to Rose. She was so good with Bella; I noticed it every time I saw them together. I knew that Rose saw what I saw; that Bella was just a normal girl who couldn't talk and liked her personal space uninterrupted. She never reached for things or moved when Bella made to give her something. She always waited until Bella put things down and got back her space before moving to inspect it. I watched in my rear-view as she opened the bag and her face lit up before pulling a sandwich out of it.

My stomach rumbled, and I pulled into Emmett's driveway. He wasn't out yet. "What else are you hiding in that bag?"

She smiled and set it in my lap. I rifled through it, and found more sandwiches, little bags of home-made trail mix, muffins and cookies with bottles of water. I grabbed a sandwich, making her smile, and I inhaled it before swiping a muffin as Emmett came out.

"Good morning!" Emmett all but shouted at the top of his lungs, making us all cringe. "Woah, where'd all the food come from?"

"Bella made snacks," Rosalie said with a grin, handing him the bag.

"Awesome!" He too grabbed a sandwich. "Thanks! So, is it just the four of us?"

"Mike's driving down with Ben, Angela, and Jess. I think Tyler is going down with Tanya, Lauren, Jake and Embry," Rose said. He nodded, inhaling his sandwich, and then started chatting up Rose, asking her what she was going to get. I didn't tell him she was coming, because he would have gotten all worked-up. Rose was the only female in Forks High that intimidated him, and he'd never found the courage to start talking to her. He'd gone out on a few dates with other girls, but he'd never had a girlfriend, because to him none of the other girls even compared.

And whenever she approached him he always froze like an idiot.

It looked like he was doing fine now, though. Bella was going through my iPod, smiling when she found the Black Keys I'd added. They were one of her favourite bands. I'd become fond of them too; their songs were fun to learn on the guitar.

I'd wanted to drive down, just the two of us at first, but this was nice. Our company paid no mind to us, they were talking away, quietly at that, leaning into each other and tearing through the bag of snacks Bella had given them.

I adored her for keeping a full, separate bag for me. She hadn't had much of an appetite since she started her new medications. I worried about her, but she was still trying. Eating things with higher calories. She was okay if she burned first, and I had every intention of taking her somewhere to light up later so she'd eat something. As it was, she'd just been picking at one of her small baggies of trail mix, watching out the window with a slightly distracted look on her face.

We were steady on the quiet highway, and I watched her for a couple minutes. She seemed calm, which was relieving since I wasn't sure how she would do being in the car with the others. Cautiously, I reached over, resting a hand on one of her thighs. She tensed, but as I rubbed soothing circles on her leg with my thumb, she slowly started to relax, and gave me her gorgeous smile. She started tracing meaningless designs on my arm, her hand only shaking the slightest bit as she worked her way closer and closer towards my hand. Once again, when she did reach my hand, a violent shudder rolled through her.

All I could think about was the way it had made her breasts jiggle when she'd been wearing that tank top last night. Fuck, I couldn't think about that right now. One glance at Emmett in my mirror, talking over a mouthful of food, fixed my problem pretty quickly.

She was good, though. She slowly calmed herself, and was smiling with shimmering eyes.

I was so fucking proud of her. I gave her thigh a gentle squeeze, smiling at her when she looked at me.

God, I loved her, and I wanted to kiss her so fucking badly. I think she read my mind, because she grinned, leaning over the center console and placing a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. I turned to meet her lips for a quick moment before looking back to the road, grinning.

It was a great drive, with my gorgeous girl feeding me cookies and my best friend in the back seat totally hitting it off with the girl he'd obsessed over for the past few years. We stopped halfway for a bathroom break, and I topped up my gas. Then we were on the road again. As we got closer, we started talking about where we wanted to go. Emmett and I started listing off places, and Rose cut in.

"We want to look at clothes first, and get that out of the way," Rose said, and when Bella looked up at me I knew Rose was speaking for the both of them.

We had the entire day; my parents were waving my curfew because to them this was better than us trying to get a hotel for the night. And I really wanted Bella to do what she wanted to, to have fun, but I couldn't leave her alone. It wasn't that I didn't trust Rose with her, but I had to be there in case something happened. I think she knew that too, and it must suck. She couldn't really go anywhere outside of Forks on her own, it wasn't safe, and with only a couple weeks until Christmas and Thanksgiving in a couple days, Seattle was going to be a mad house. And I had a feeling that she went out of her way not to drag me into girly crap. I loved her for it, but it made me wonder what she was going without just because she was worried about inconveniencing me or the Chief.

"Where were you guys planning on going?"

"Bella doesn't know any of the stores, I was thinking one of the malls. Maybe Westfield or Pacific Place?"

"That works. It's probably what we would had done anyways." I looked over at Bella, and for some ridiculous reason she looked guilty. "Don't," I said quietly, giving her thigh a small squeeze when she looked like she wanted to apologize. "I mean it. We have all day; it's what we were doing anyways."

She gave me a hesitant smile.

"Cool, well, the guys are thinking about meeting up at about five or six for dinner at the food court in Pacific anyways. And I think it has better stores. Want to hit the other one first? We can walk to the skating rink by Pacific too. It's definitely cold enough, it should be open already."

"Cool, does that sound good to you ladies?"

Bella nodded as Rose agreed. I knew the way, and watched her from the corner of my eye as we drove through the city. She seemed to grow more nervous by the minute. I parked in the packed lot, and her hands were balled up in fists, her face pale and her eyes big. Emmett and Rose jumped out quickly, and Rose took one look at Bella before saying that she and Emmett were grabbing a coffee and would meet up with us in a bit before dragging him away. He followed her eagerly.

I walked around to her side, opened her door, and knelt down by her.

"You've got this, you know. The anticipation is always the worst part," I pointed out gently. She nodded, and slipped out of the car. I wrapped my arms around her, giving her an encouraging smile that she weakly returned. When I leaned in and kissed her, though, I felt her relax as her arms looped around my neck.

I had just meant it to be a chaste kiss, but she moulded against me so perfectly, her hands slipping into my hair, and I pushed her up against my car. Her mouth opened against mine, her tongue gently teasing mine, and I had to pull away before I got too carried away. My mind was already spinning with the idea of dragging her into my backseat and tearing a few layers off her, maybe see if we could pick up where we left off last night…

I sighed, resting my forehead against hers, relaxing as her fingertips played with the back of my hair. When I opened my eyes, she was smiling up at me happily. I smiled back.

"You good?"

She nodded, and grabbed her purse before I locked the car. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, because she still wasn't ready for me to try holding her hand, and she followed closely beside me as we made our way through the lot.

"So, what are you looking for besides clothes?" I asked, wondering if it would be weird if I tried to buy her a jacket. I really wanted to buy her a jacket. She typed on her phone.

I wanted to get Charlie a watch. He put his last one through the washer. I don't have any other ideas yet. Maybe some more craft and baking supplies. I want to find something for Rose too. I already got yours online.

I was halfway through reading when we walked into the mall, and I almost jumped in surprise when Bella pushed right into me, wrapping around my arm and holding on tightly.

Well, this could work out well. I kissed her cheek, giving her an encouraging smile, and her hand tightened a little more. She was shaking, but she wasn't escalating. Once I was sure she'd be fine, I pulled her along with me, thinking it might be a bit easier if I didn't let her think about it.

She saw this 100% Pure store, and her face lit up. I asked her if she wanted to go in, because anything that made her smile like that was worth it in my books. It was mostly soaps and stuff, all natural products, and Bella went to town. She asked if my mom was allergic to anything, and when I said no, she got her a couple of things she called bath bombs, and a bunch of other crap that she said she was going to give to Rose, and some stuff for herself.

We stopped at Game Stop too, texting the others to meet us there. I got Emmett and my brother games that they'd wanted, plus a couple things for myself. The four of us walked out together, and I couldn't stop smiling when I had my girl on my arm.

And we had a great morning. We were at Westfield until about two in the afternoon, and I was kind of glad Rose was there too. They must have spent like an hour in Victoria's Secret, which made me a little crazy, thinking about what she was buying. I already knew what I wanted to get her, so it had given me plenty of time since that store had been quiet. I knew Emmett was going to be teasing me for weeks, but as long as he didn't do it in front of her I'd take it. We met up again and went to this Lush store, that reminded me a lot of the first place she'd been too, and when I uneasily asked if she had any recommendations of things I could get my mom, she gave me a big smile. She pointed out bath salts, candles, and some moisturizing cream that she thought she might like, all coconut scented, which was mom's favourite. I got some flowering tea for her at a specialty shop too. We stopped by a lot of clothing stores, and I quickly realized that my girl knew how to shop. I got a few shirts that she said looked good on me.

She wasn't a crazy spender, though. I knew she was on a budget; she worked part-time and wouldn't take money from the Chief. So when I saw her trying on that gorgeous, dark-green coat, then check the price tag and roll her eyes before putting it away, I snatched it. It was warm, which she needed, but it looked fucking hot on her. She had to have it.

She didn't even notice me buy it. When we walked out and she saw that I had a bag, she lifted an eyebrow at me curiously. I grinned before holding it out for her. She took the side of the bag, not the handle, and peeked inside curiously.

Her head snapped up, looking at me in surprise, and she quickly shook her head as she took a step back. I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back to me.

"What? I thought you liked this one?" I said in confusion. She bit her lip.

Expensive, she mouthed, then signed as she spoke. 'Give it back.'

I think she meant return it, but I got it.

"No. You need a warm coat, and I wanted to buy you a coat. It wasn't that expensive."

She lifted an eyebrow at me. I smiled.

"Baby, you've seen my house. Please let me just buy you the damn jacket? I want see you wear it, you look amazing in it." I pulled her tighter against me, pleading with my eyes, and I slowly saw her melt. I grinned victoriously. "Excellent." I kissed her, hard, and she was blushing by the time I pulled back.

We also stopped at Candy Tyme, and I paid for my girl's giant bag of candy with mine, distracting her with a kiss as I put her stuff in with mine.

We all got a Jamba Juice to hold us over to dinner before driving over to the next mall. Bella took in the skyscrapers and buildings with a big smile. We parked in the underground lot, and she wasn't as nervous this time, knowing I could protect her from the masses. She got her watch for the Chief, along with a cool pair of leather gloves, and some movies. I ended up getting my dad a new e-reader, and found a nice scarf with matching gloves for my mom. The other two still had some things to find, so we told them we'd meet them for dinner, and went to drop off our things in my car.

And I got my girl nice and high, wishing I could join her but not wanting to take the risk when I was trying to watch her in this clusterfuck of a holiday war zone. She got changed into her new coat before we made our way back inside, and she was nice and mellowed out. I think my stuff was stronger than hers.

A big group left the food court just as we were getting there, and we went and stole their places. Rose and Em joined us, helping us fight off the people who tried to take our chairs, and not long after Ben and Ang showed up. Bella gave them each a friendly smile and a small wave when I introduced them.

My fists clenched when I saw their obvious unease around her after a couple minutes. Bella didn't seem to care, but she'd made it obvious to me a while back that she was used to it. It didn't bother her any more.

But it sure as hell bothered me. A lot. So what? She was quiet, it was no big fucking deal.

I wrapped my arm around her, my palm going flat against her stomach as I pulled her closer, leaning into her ear.

"I'm starving, want to go grab something to eat? They can watch the table."

She nodded with a smile, and I grinned, kissing her cheek.

"Can you guys watch the tables? We're going to go grab something."

"Sure. The others are around here somewhere, ordering probably."

I nodded, and let go of Bella so we could get out. It was like wading through a sea of people, though, and even holding onto my arm, leaning into me, people were still getting too fucking close to her. I was an inch away from knocking someone out before I pulled her off to the side. She took in a deep breath.

The crowds were even starting to make me uneasy, and they had never bothered me before. Maybe I'd just never noticed exactly how many people there were before. It was staggering.

We had a pretty good view of the entire food court from our spot, though, so I just looked around, wanting to decide where we wanted to go before diving back in. She released her hold on my arm so I could wrap it around her, keeping her close reflexively.

"I have no clue what I want to eat," I said dejectedly. There were too many options. I wasn't used to having to decide. Usually Mom or Bella just made me something. "What about you? Any preferences?"

She chewed on her lip for a moment, then dug her phone out of her purse.

Fries, I really want fries.

"Burgers?" She nodded. I picked out one of the many spots, and kept my arm around her as we walked over. It was much easier this way, and we were both much more comfortable. While we waited in line I asked her what sort of burger she wanted, she went for a chicken wrap instead. And lemonade.

She looked pissed when I wouldn't let her pay, shamelessly taking advantage of the fact that she couldn't do anything about it. But I really didn't like the idea of her paying for food. She was always cooking me stuff. And baking me stuff. I was constantly eating all her food.

And now that I could, I realized the best way to win her over was by kissing her. She couldn't stay mad at me when I did, and I loved it. She was weak, when it came to me. And didn't seem to have any problems with PDA. So, I kissed her, hard, grinning against her lips when I felt her melt.

"I like buying you things," I whispered, my lips brushing against hers. "Let me."

She sighed dejectedly, looking at me with those big brown eyes. I could see the flecks of gold and green mixed in with this bright light.

She hadn't said it, but I was pretty damn sure she loved me too. I grinned.

Our order came up, and she walked closely as I carried our tray back over. Bella took a giant pile of napkins from the dispenser.

We must have been gone longer than I thought, because not only had everyone else already shown up, but Rose and Emmett had already gotten back with their food as well. There was one spot left across from them, Jacob sitting next to it, and Rose grimaced. Lauren, who was sitting next to Jacob, gave Bella a big, fake, apologetic smile.

"Oh, sorry, we must have miscounted. You could just sit in the next table over," she said sweetly. I sat down our tray.

"No, we're good," I said, sitting down and patting my thigh. Bella smirked, unzipping her coat and hanging it off the back of our chair before sitting in my lap and kissing my cheek with a smile.

Every single fucking guy stared as she took off her scarf, stuffing it in her purse. Fuck, that had to be my new favourite shirt on her. She took a sip of her drink, and then noticed that everyone was staring at her. She smiled, giving them a shy wave.

Yeah, she would have made an amazing actress.

"Babe, you remember Jacob. And Tyler, Mike, Tanya, Jess, and Lauren," I said, not hiding my displeasure very much. "And these guys are Embry and Quill."

Hey, she mouthed, giving them a wave.

"Hey, nice to meet you," Embry said, making my hand tighten on her waist with the way he looked her over. Quill gave her a friendly wave. Bella dove into her fries, making me smile. I'd made the right move before we came back in here.

"We're sorry about Jake, he sat when we were getting food and wouldn't move," Rose explained, looking apologetic. Well, it was nice seeing some proof that her friendship with Bella was authentic. She didn't start acting weird in front of the others.

"I think it worked out quite well." And I meant it. Bella smiled, and my hold tightened on her when she leaned back to grab her purse so she wouldn't fall off, then dug a purple sharpie out of its mysterious depths before dropping the bag carelessly on the floor again.

Did you guys find what you were looking for? She tossed the napkin, and Emmett caught it when it didn't look like Rose would.

"Yup!" He said happily. "We were in the line for that store for twenty minutes but look what I found!" He started digging through his Spencer's bag and pulled out a Creeper hoodie. Bella's face lit up with her smile as she let out a silent laugh, and gave him a thumbs-up, mouthing 'very cool.' "Will you guys be going on the sever tonight if I put it up?"

Bella shrugged.

"Probably not, I have to work tomorrow."

"So, Bella," Tyler called, and she looked up mid bite. "What was with you at the gas station the other day? You just fucking took off," he asked, his voice taunting. Oh, I knew exactly what he'd been doing when that happened, and I still wanted to knock him out for asking her out, even though we hadn't really been dating yet.

Bella gave him a sweet smile, writing on one of her napkins again. I suddenly got the purpose of the pile.

Bella's own version of dinner conversation.

You were being a misogynistic asshole, you're lucky I didn't back over you before I drove away.

I laughed, and she crumpled up the napkin and tossed it to him.

And Tyler laughed, nonplused. "Ah, well, guess I can't fault you for being honest."

She gave him another smile, and took a bite of her wrap. I inhaled my burger easily with one hand, and was glad that I'd gotten the extra fries, otherwise I might have had to steal Bella's. She paused when her phone went off.

She had this Zelda ringpack, and sometimes it was cool, and others it was hilarious. It played a different sound bit with each message, and one of them was Link dying. A long, loud, drawn out moan, the sound he'd make if falling down a hole. It wasn't that one that went off, though; it was one of the cooler ones, the treasure chest being opened.

Bella didn't hide anything from me. She gave me complete access to her book and had conversations with me and other people on the same page so I could read what they were talking about. She always let me read over her shoulder, even when she looked at her phone. I think for her it was easier to do it this way than try to explain what was happening or handing her phone to me.

So I saw that it was from the Chief, and alarms went off as soon as I started reading.

Where are you? Have you left Seattle yet?-C

No, we're eating dinner in the food court with a bunch of Edward and Rose's friends. Why? What's up?-B

"Was that from Zelda?" Ben asked her curiously, his face lighting up. He was a huge gamer, especially vintage. The collection he and his dad had put mine to shame. She grinned, nodding, and wrote him a note telling him about the ringpack, and both the good and bad sides of it. He laughed as he read about the dying one while she'd been waiting in a quiet lobby at the hospital.

Everything's fine. I need you to text me when you guys leave, and as soon as you get close to the town limit, okay?-C

She scowled, and huffed silently.

Okay.-B

"What was that about?"

She opened another message for me.

No idea, but it was weird, right? He never gets like that.

"Yeah, definitely weird."

I don't like arguing with him, though. A message isn't a big deal, it's not like he gave me an actual curfew.

"You're so lucky," I said, and then frowned. "At least we can enjoy today. Work's about to get crazy busy, I'm not going to have much free time until after Christmas," I said dejectedly. She gave me a reassuring smile.

You're going to get sick of my text messages, she typed with a smile. You'll be too annoyed to miss me.

I laughed. "Impossible." I kissed her lips softly, before finishing off my food.

Bella started texting with Rose back and forth, asking her about what she'd gotten, and if there was anything else she needed. Now that I wasn't eating I pulled her fully into my lap so that she wasn't sitting on one leg. She just grinned as she continued to type away.

All I wanted to do was touch every inch of her skin with my lips. I loved this shirt.

"So," Jacob said, speaking up for the first time. I bit back my groan. I was trying to ignore the fact that the asshole was sitting right next to us. "Looks like I'll be seeing you again on Thursday." His smile pissed me off, but I was in shock. Bella tensed. She looked at me worriedly.

Charlie just told me last night, I forgot.

I wasn't upset with her, and rubbed my hand up her back reassuringly. I was pissed because I didn't want the fucker anywhere near her, and there was no way I could get out of Thanksgiving dinner with my family, or work. Harry gave us each one full day to get our shopping done, and that was it.

My girl chose to just ignore Jacob, cuddling closer to me. Do you know what your schedule is like?

"Yeah, I'm working five until midnight. My parents are doing dinner early for us."

Well, maybe if you want, after I finish with dinner and clean-up, I could bring you dessert?

I smiled mischievously, leaning in. "I like the sound of that."

She smacked me playfully, and I kissed her hungrily. Fuck, I'd never had anything like this before. I'd made fun of guys that were like this with their girlfriends my entire life, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't get enough of her.

And I didn't even care that every one of my friends were here to witness it. I completely ignored their dubious looks, and Tanya's glares. I wasn't trying to rub it in her face, but I'd never been like this with her. I wasn't a very touchy person, especially in public, and I felt kind of bad now.

But I'd never loved Tanya.

Everyone finished up, and then we split up to get rid of our stuff and get over to the rink. After grabbing our skates, we walked outside, and it had started to snow.

Bella stopped immediately, gasping and clapping her hands over her mouth. Her eyes huge.

"What, what's wrong?" I asked, panicked. She was beaming, though, and just pointed at the sky before mouthing 'it's beautiful!' Emmett laughed.

"You're acting like you've never seen snow before," he teased.

I haven't. It's so pretty! I read her lips easily, and Emmett stared at her in disbelief.

"You're shitting me! You've never seen snow before?"

Only in movies, she mouthed, still staring in awe. Emmett had trouble reading that one, so I translated.

"It is gorgeous, isn't it?" I noted, trying to look at it from the perspective of someone who'd never seen it before. The fluffy white flakes slowly floating down from the grey, darkening sky. The streetlamps were starting to light up, along with trees and shrubs that were wrapped in Christmas lights. It was pretty, but she was fucking stunning when she smiled like that. I wrapped an arm around her and tugged her along, really enjoying the walk.

"They look like they're hitting it off, huh?" I mused, and she grinned, nodding. "You know something, don't you?"

She shrugged, before zipping her lips and throwing away an imaginary key.

"Ah, she likes him and told you not to tell anyone," I guessed, and knew in a second that I'd gotten it right. "Good. He's been obsessed with her for years, it's about time."

She shook her head, smiling, and took out her phone.

So, dinner wasn't too bad, she typed, and I laughed.

"Well, it definitely could have gone worse." She smiled. "You're really okay? I'm sorry that so many of them are just…fucking assholes."

She shook her head, smiling.

You're the only one there I wanted to talk to.

I grinned, and my face was stuck like that until we got to the rink. It was crowded, but surprisingly, a lot better than I thought it would be. We got our tickets, and this time I paid because it was cash only, there wasn't even a counter, and Bella couldn't hand him the money. She hit her wall, and it was curious to see, now that I'd been able to break so far though it.

We both tied up our skates while the others rented some. Bella wobbled on her feet for a moment, and I steadied her with my hands on her hips, kissing her.

"So, you can skate?" I asked, to be sure. She nodded. "Are you any good?" She shrugged, and I was grinning excitedly as we made our way onto the ice. I was a great skater and kept my hand on her lower back just in case, but she steadied out quickly, flowing into a smooth rhythm, and we drifted around the ice together.

She was good. Really good. She seemed to relax completely with her movements, speeding up, and getting pretty damn fast. I followed her, chased after her, as she flawlessly wove though the crowds. She switched over, going backwards, giving me a taunting smile when she realized I couldn't catch her. She was fucking fast.

And when she got far enough ahead, and a large space cleared out, she jumped, doing a spin, and landed easily before skating a circle around me, smiling her dazzling smile. We started racing, and Emmett joined in, but he was even slower than I. Embry and Quill joined in too, and before I knew it, the rink had sort of shifted to one side, some people watching us as we did our little relay race.

And we all got our asses handed to us by my girl. She was winning by a few yards until a kid wiped out, and she stopped instantly, going over to him. He was crying on the ice, alone, and Bella knelt down beside him with a gentle smile. The poor kid just stared at her with his mouth hanging open, going silent.

I didn't blame him, her smile still did that to me sometimes.

I made my way over, kneeling down beside her, and he sniffled and looked up at me with big blue eyes.

"Hey, you okay little dude? That was a pretty cool wipe-out."

"These shoes hurt my feets," he mumbled, and I laughed.

"Yeah, that goes away if you keep practicing, though. Want some help getting up?" He nodded, and I stood him on his feet easily. He weighed like five pounds. He held onto my hands until he was steady, and gave me a big smile, showing off a big missing tooth.

"Sanks!" He said happily, then went back on trying, looking ready to fall over at any second. His mom found him but seconds later, pulling along another kid that was maybe a year younger, and gave us a big wave, shouting a thank-you.

When I turned to look down at Bella she had the biggest smile on her face as she watched me. I laughed.

"What?"

She answered me by looping her arm around my shoulder, pulling me down and kissing me with her curled lips. My arms automatically wrapped around her, pulling her against me.

It still hit me hard, every time she touched me. It was like the months before this day were just a dream. This was who Bella was.

But she was only like this with me. I knew it wasn't a dream. Because she couldn't hug the Chief, she couldn't hand him a pen. Though she'd have trouble handing me a pen as well to be fair. She could touch me, though. She'd come so fucking far, and it floored me every time.

We were at the rink for another hour before the thirteen of us all walked back to the mall as a group. We got coffee for the road, and a lot of people got snacks as well. I was already set; I still had lots of stuff left in the bag Bella brought. And giant bags of candy. I got an energy drink to go with my coffee, and our groups parted ways.

As promised, Bella texted the Chief when we pulled away from the mall, then played DJ with her iPod. We munched on cookies, listening with smiles as Emmett hung off Rose's every word about the clothes she'd gotten. I hope this worked out for him, he looked so fucking happy.

It was a smooth drive. We played a sort of music trivia, Bella would pick random songs on her iPod and we had to name the artist and song title. I kicked the backseat's ass. We stopped for two bathroom breaks, and only seconds after Bella had texted the Chief, we came around the corner to the town limit and found a roadside stop. Three cruisers all with their lights flashing. I slowed to a stop, and Tyler's dad leaned into my widow when I rolled it down.

"Hey, Edward, I haven't seen you around in a while," he said with a smile.

Yeah, because your son is a backstabbing piece of shit. "Err, yeah. How are you?"

"Good good," he said quickly. "Hey Bella, how was shopping?" She gave him a smile. "So, are you going to make us candy for Christmas too?" He asked hopefully, and she gave him a small shrug, grinning. "Okay, well, if you make those caramels again put some aside for me." She bobbed her head. "Well, sorry sweetheart, but I'm going to need you to drive back with me."

We looked at him in confusion, and I spoke for her. "What? Why?"

"Chief's instructions."

Bella shook her head quickly, and I saw his face fall. She was fine interacting with him from a distance, but I could tell that the idea of being alone in a car with him, trapped in that proximity, was too much for her. Her breathing started to pick up. I took out my phone.

"Would it be okay if I just talked to the Chief first?" I asked pleadingly, and he took one brief glance at Bella, and nodded sadly. I dialed his number. "It's not you, you know," I told him quietly, getting out of the car so I wouldn't have to talk in front of Emmett and Rosalie, but it didn't seem to do much to console him. I walked out of ear shot.

"Edward? Is everything okay?"

"Err, yeah. We just stopped at the road block. Officer Crowley said Bella had to drive back with him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He sighed, sounding tired. "Something happened while you guys were out of town, and she can't be driving alone."

"She's not alone, she's with me."

"Edward-"

"You know how she gets being close to others; she can't go alone in a car with him. It's not like we're going to loiter around, I'm just dropping off the others and going home. Could you just get a cruiser or something to follow us?"

He was quiet for a long moment.

"Please? I hate seeing her scared, and by the time he gets her home she'll probably be in a full-blown panic attack."

I heard him talking to someone in the background for a minute before he answered me. "Okay, but don't take too long."

"I won't, thanks Chief!" He mumbled something and hung up, and I walked back over to the car. Officer Crowley nodded to me as he passed, going to his cruiser. I slipped into my seat, and Bella looked at me curiously.

Shit, I didn't ask what had happened. I didn't know what to say to her and I didn't want to freak her out. I was starting to freak out.

"I'm dropping you off," I clarified, and she relaxed a bit. She was still giving me the look that clearly asked what was going on, but I had nothing to give her. I dropped off the others, who both looked worried, before I made the way over to her place. There were even more cop cars there, but a lot of the officers were people I'd never seen before. Bella was ridged, taking in the scene with wide eyes.

Dad was there too, which was both weird and troubling. I got out, and I didn't have to tell her to wait this time so I could get her door. She was stuck. I waited patiently until she hesitantly slid out of the car. The Chief was waiting, as was my dad, and she looked at him in confusion.

What's going on? She mouthed, subconsciously shifting closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her, and she was already starting to shake as she leaned into my side.

"Someone broke into the house."

She looked at the chaos around her house, not needing to verbalize that this was a little extreme for a break-in. He sighed, and looked at my dad for a short moment.

"It was him."

Her entire body went ridged as she sucked in a sharp breath, pushing closer to me. He sighed. "I'm sorry baby girl, but I need you to check out your room before the state patrol leaves. Just to tell them if anything was taken. Can you do that?" She shuddered, but nodded. I walked forward with her, and the Chief stopped me. "Edward, it would probably be better if you wait out-"

"No."

"What?"

"No, I'm going in with her." No fucking way was I letting her go in without me.

"Edward, it's time for you to head home," my dad said shortly, and I glared at him.

"I said no. She's not going in there without me." They both stared me down, but I didn't budge. I just held onto my girl, who was still shaking. The Chief sighed in defeat, and my dad was frowning in disapproval, and a bit of worry too I think. I looked down at Bella. She took out her phone.

You don't have to come, I'll be okay. You're going to be in enough trouble as it is for that.

"I don't care. You're crazy if you think that I'll leave you alone when you're upset," I whispered into her ear, and then we walked in after the Chief, my dad still following for some reason. The house looked fine; nothing looked different except for police officers inspecting every surface.

But then, we stepped into her room. Her bedroom window had been smashed, and her room was freezing. She looked around, not stepping too far into it before typing on her phone again.

Why are they looking at everything if you already knows who did it? How do you know it was him?

"There was a note. It was taken for evidence."

She nodded, but didn't ask what it said. A very big part of me wanted to see that note, to know what it said. I kept my mouth shut though, just watching her carefully as she walked around, then went through her bathroom. She came out and shrugged, signing to me.

"She said everything looks fine," I told them. The Chief sighed, sounding relieved, and smiled at her.

"Okay. Well, they should be done in an hour or so, you can go sit in my room for now if you want," he told her, and she nodded uncomfortably, her eyes flickering around the room warily. I looked at my dad as he watched their exchange with a frown. When he met my gaze, I lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Charlie, if you'd like, and if Bella's comfortable, she could stay with us tonight. We have guestrooms."

The Chief speared me with his scrutinizing gaze for a moment, but when he looked at Bella with her pale face and big, dark, nervous eyes, I saw him melt.

"How does that sound to you, Bells?"

She shrugged, not looking much more relieved. Her eyes kept flickering to her window.

"Bella?" She turned to look at me. "It's up to you, if you're not comfortable sleeping in another house that's okay. Just say so."

She watched me for a long moment, looking unsure, before she typed on her phone, holding it out to my dad. I caught a glimpse of it before she finished typing.

That's very generous of you, thank you very much.

He gave her a happy smile. "You're very welcome. Just pack a bag and we'll get out of here."

She nodded, and then pulled a back pack out from under her bed. She was in her washroom for a bit, and then grabbed some stuff out of her dresser while I sat on her bed. The Chief told me her room had already been thoroughly combed multiple times for evidence.

But not thoroughly enough.

Bella walked into her closet, and seconds later she flew out, backwards, falling over.

"Bells?" The Chief asked in a panic, flying forward. She flinched away from him. "Bella, what is it? What happened?"

She was just shaking her head, though, trying to get further away from him until she hit the wall. I flew over, dropping down to my knees next to her.

"Bella, what-" I tried to put a comforting arm around her, but she flinched away from me violently, a hiss escaping her, making me still. "Bella, talk to us, what happened?"

She couldn't respond to me, or anyone. Tears ran down her cheeks as she rocked, her hands gripping tightly in her hair, gasping painfully for air. I knew she was too far gone to be helped. She'd just keep escalating until she passed out.

At least, I thought she would. But she didn't. Every second as I watched her trapped in her own head was agony. And I couldn't help her this time. I just sat there uselessly, not knowing what to do. I tried talking to her, pulling her out, but I don't think she could even hear me. The Chief wasn't any more successful.

We must have sat there for five minutes before he sighed.

"Carlisle."

My dad let out a sigh of relief, kneeling down next to her with his bag.

"Wait-"

Dad gave me one dark look that clearly said shut up or get out.

It was worse than anything I'd ever seen before. As soon as he touched her she jumped away, hitting her head against the wall so hard it sounded dangerous. He took her arm and she thrashed, trying to get away. I sat there, staring in horror as the Chief wrapped his arms around her, pinning them to her sides as he tried to hold her still. She was screaming, that was obvious even though she didn't make a sound. Dad got the needle in her arm, though, and a minute later she slumped in the Chief's arms.

He didn't let go of her. He just held her, and he cried silently as he watched her with a tortured expression.

I didn't notice until then that I was crying too, and swiped furiously at my face before anyone could notice.

"Charlie?" He looked up slowly at my dad. "We'll still take her for the night. Esme and I can keep an eye on her tomorrow, it's not a problem."

He sighed. "Thank you," he said in a raspy voice. "I'll get her window fixed as soon as the store opens."

I stood up, and they both watched me as I walked over to her closet with clenched fists.

It only took me three seconds to see what had set her off. It was displayed front and center for her, and realizing where she'd been trapped made it hard to breathe.

"That dress isn't hers," I said through clenched teeth. It was a pretty dress I guess, lace and silk. A bridal white.

The Chief cursed, staring into her closet with unveiled fury. I went and sat next to Bella where he'd put her on her bed. I brushed away her tears with my thumb. I needed to have her close, though, and I pulled her into my lap, and held onto her tightly as I fought back the tears that wanted to break through once more.

"Can I drive her over?" I asked quietly. I felt the Chief sit down next to me.

"Are you okay to drive?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah."

"You know, she's going to be okay. That was just one of her bad ones."

"I know."

I did, but I'm pretty sure tonight was going to haunt my dreams for a while.

"Okay. A squad car's going to follow you, and he'll be parked outside your house for the night. We're still combing and canvasing the area." I nodded.

"I'll be driving behind you too," my dad said. I just nodded again, and my dad started talking to the Chief quietly. I didn't even bother trying to listen. I pulled Bella's favourite white, fluffy throw blanket around her before getting up. I carried her over to my car, and the Chief got the door for me so I could put her in. I buckled her in, and he handed me the bag she'd been packing.

"Thanks, for keeping an eye on her today," he said uncomfortably.

"I didn't do anything."

He gave me a small smile that I didn't quite get, and patted me on the shoulder. I closed her door, then walked around to my own before slipping in and starting it up.

I was surprised to see my brother's car in the garage when I pulled in, completely forgetting that he was supposed to come down today. Dad pulled in after me, and after I scooped up my girl he grabbed her bag, and her purse. He got the door, and the house was completely silent at almost two in the morning. I carried her up to the second floor, and sat her down on the bed in the guestroom. She hadn't moved the slightest bit in response. I wanted her up on my floor but knew it wasn't going to happen.

"You should get to bed. You're supposed to leave at nine for work, right?"

"Yeah," I said reluctantly. I reached down and pulled her book out of her purse, writing her a note, telling her she was in our guestroom and not to panic when she woke up. I propped it up on a pillow next to her, and then turned on the bedside lamp on its lowest setting so she wouldn't wake up in the dark in a strange room before I forced myself to leave.

AN: Ah, poor Bella. The day was just going to well.

So, I don't know if I'm back or not, I can't give you an update schedule and for that I apologize. But please leave a review, let me know if there's still anyone out there!

Hope you all are well, thank you so much for reading!