A/N: So, I'm surprised this hadn't been done yet. As such, I decided I'd make one myself. Enjoy!
Published: 3/4/2016
Warnings: SPOILERS! And minor Ren bashing by pointing out facts.
Meet the Replaements
Jacen Solo glowered.
Kylo Ren, also known as Ben Solo, smirked.
Ben Skywalker was pissed the kriff off.
"You mean I've been replaced by… By you?" Jacen was downright offended. Even in his darkest, he would never stoop to killing a family member(elsewhere, Mara Jade sneezed),he would have never helped in the construction of an abomination worse than the Death Star, and, most importantly…
He was no ones bitch and he sure as hell wouldn't lose to someone who'd never even heard of a damn lightsaber, never mind wielded one!
"Why are you even offended? He's evil, like you! He's basically you with a different name! I should be the offended one! Not only am I gone, this son of Huttspawn took my name!" Ben snapped.
Jacen glared. Kylo ignored the statement.
"That's my mother, brat. How'd you like it if I said the same about your mother?" Jacen demanded.
Ben bristled at the accusation.
"You killed my mom, tortured me, and became the worse Sith Lord since Vader!"
.
.
.
"Oh yeah, huh." Jacen acknowledged sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Eh. Sorry about that. The Force told me I needed to go Sith or the Galaxy would be purged into darkness." Jacen explained patiently.
"... You drove the Galaxy into darkness!"
Kylo Ren just kept smirking.
"I replaced both of you bitches." He commented casually. "And stared in my own movie. And they next two that are coming up." Kylo smiled victoriously.
The cousins, who had currently grabbed each other's collars and were on the verge of a lightsaber duel, froze.
As one, they turned on the smirking villain that had basically replaced them both, stolen their spotlight, and appeared in the new Star Wars film.
Locking eyes the cousins nodded. For the first time since Jacen had gone batshit, both could agree on one single fact.
They hated one another.
They hated Kylo Ren more.
Screams could be heard from the room as they turned on poor Kylo who wasn't nearly skilled enough to fend either one of the two of.
Jaina Solo and Rey both comfortably sipped tea.
"So, would that make Kylo your brother?" Rey asked, shuddering at the very thought.
Jaina shrugged.
"Maybe, maybe not. Not my problem. If he was… I'd try to save him. If he's yours, save him." Jaina told the other girl.
Rey flinched back.
"Mine? Why the hell would he be my brother?"
"Face it, Rey. You're either Ren's cousin or his sister. No ifs, ands, or buts." Jaina causally pointed out.
"No, no, no." Rey shook her head frantically. "That monster murdered his father in cold blood while smiling! No!"
Memories can be fickle things. As such, whether Kylo smiled or not was irrelevant. Rey believed him to be twisted enough, so that was what her memory showed her.
Jaina sighed.
"I… I didn't try to save my own twin, in the end. A part of me died with him. Don't make my mistakes, Rey. If you can… Save him."
Jaina was a little ticked she'd been replaced. Rey was likeable however, so she shrugged it off. At least her counterpart managed to kick Sith ass.
Jacen would never live Kylo's loss to an untrained new to the Force user in a lightsaber duel. Ever.
The two Han's gazed at one another. The Chewbaccas shook hands and greeted each other in Wookie language whose name the author forgot.
"So," Han!Legend began, "You ditched my wife and ran off with Chewie."
Han!Disney shrugged.
"That hasn't been explained, so don't go blaming me yet."
Han!Legend still punched him in the face for it.
Luke!Legend was astonished.
"Wow! I really let myself go! So, is Mara your wife too? Is Rey a gender bent form of Ben?"
Luke!Disney glared.
"A minute. A minute of screen time! And I didn't even say anything! And, I don't know! Disney knows, but they aren't saying yet!"
Luke!Legend frowned.
"You okay?"
But Luke!Disney wasn't listening. He kept grumbling about his one minute over and over again.
Luke!Legend never did find out if Mara existed in the Disney!Verse. We won't either until the next film.
Leia!Legend and Leia!Disney got along just fine.
Telling stories of their boys before they snapped was fun.
"And then- and then- Jacen comes up to me and says, 'Mommy, I tried to get the cookie jar but it was too high!'" Leia!Legend explained.
"And then what happened?" Leia!Disney demanded.
"Well, as it turns out, he'd tried to use the force to get the jar down. Instead, he accidentally knocked over the flour and was covered in it!" Leia!Legend concluded.
The two old woman chortled as only old woman can.
Palpatine and Snope glared at one another.
Then, as one, they shook hands.
Hey, lets face it.
Almost everyone thinks they're the exact same person.
Anakin Solo was flummoxed.
Poe and Finn were likewise confused.
"Hey, wait a second…" Poe said slowly, the other two turning to him.
"Yes?" Finn asked, desperate for an end to the silence.
"You died." Poe motioned to Anakin. Anakin nodded, annoyed. Yes, he'd died. Way to rub it in.
"And we're your counterparts." Poe said slowly.
It took a moment to sink in.
Finn groaned and glared at Poe, now certain one or both would die while Anakin laughed at the irony.
Sweet victory!
Kyle Katarn narrowed his eyes.
Former Storm Trooper…
Defected…
Lightsaber duel…
Shit, he had a counterpart. On the bright side, Finn was bad ass.
Wait a second.
If he was Finn… Then Anakin was Poe.
Huh.
Well.
Nice knowing you, Kyle thought as he departed without a word.