Orphans

A Voyager Virtual Season 7.5 story by jamelia

Chapter 2: Marla

At times, night shift on the teenager's ward at the Children's Center could be as wild and crazy as the day or evening shifts. That was rare, however. Many of the youngsters had rigorous therapies to undergo all day. The staff always tried to schedule lots of social activities during evening shift to provide as normal a life for the orphaned residents as they could. By the last two time segments of the center's thirty-hour day, most kids were so tuckered out from all of their activities, they slept deeply and long, making for a quiet shift for the staff.

Tonight, all was tranquil. Felania Meian had turned fourteen today. For a Zarconian, that's a very special birthday, marking "Almost Adult" status. The staff had thrown a big party for her. While not yet legally a full adult, according to her culture, Felania now was of the age to make certain decisions for herself, such as whether or not to continue her treatments or go to a long term care facility for the rest of her life.

Marla Gilmore knew Felania would stay, even though the treatments she faced were challenging, to say the least. She still hoped for a "forever family," and it wasn't out of the question. Felania could walk on her own again now, and her seizures were under good control after several procedures to rebuild her damaged brain. Once her genetic re-sequencing regime was finished, Felania's eyesight should again be normal. She could be one of their success stories. Marla hoped Felania would have that happy ending. She was a good kid.

After reviewing the monitors for the ten children in her charge and seeing deep sleep patterns on all of them, Marla leaned back in her chair. She'd do an in-person check in twenty marsa units or so, but for now, she could take a break from her record keeping and spend a little time "wool gathering."

The only perceptible noise on the ward was the almost inaudible background humming of environmental and life support equipment. After her many years on starships and on care wards, Marla was always aware of such subliminal sounds. The murmuring of the life-giving equipment had been a constant in her life, and she needed to hear it, always. Total silence was the anomaly.

Marla sighed in contentment. This was one of the most peaceful jobs she'd ever had, and perhaps the most rewarding. No screaming aliens attacking; no desperate dashes to repair equipment that had been patched so many times, it was a miracle it worked at all. No guilt over stealing equipment Voyager's crew needed for their own survival because Captain Ransom and Max had ordered her to take it. No worries that the Borg, the Vardwaar, the Hirogen, or any of the other bad actors of the Delta Quadrant were going to take over her ship and do unspeakable things to her and her shipmates.

And no fears over what Starfleet would do to the "Equinox Five" once they got home. That shoe had dropped long ago, and she had survived, albeit barely.

She had long since accepted that she'd taken the job at the quarantine hospital to punish herself. In her own eyes, the sentence Starfleet meted out to her wasn't enough to make up for her sins. In retrospect, changing professions and taking that grueling job was probably the best thing she could have done for her own peace of mind.

From Noah Lessing's updates on her fellow crew members, Marla knew changes in professions had been good for almost all of them. Jim Morrow had chosen a very self-destructive path and almost paid for it with his life. Once he'd found a safe haven on Vidiia, where the people didn't know what he'd done and had to accept their own sins of their neighbors, Jim's life had stabilized in his new role as a security department administrator. Noah's floral shop and Angelo Tessoni's construction business were also doing very well. Their ignoble discharges from Starfleet were generally unknown, just as hers was. But, according to Noah, even after a thorough search, there was no trace of Brian Sofin since he'd left Earth. It was as if he had fallen into a black hole. Perhaps, in a way, he had, but one of the soul. Or maybe a real one. No one apparently knew.

Serving as a caregiver at the quarantine hospital had provided Marla with the means to pull herself out of her own personal black hole. At first she was simply an aide, taking care of the patients' most personal needs. After her first year, however, a training program had been offered that provided her with a degree in nursing. It had been hard, working all day and then studying all evening, but keeping busy to keep herself from thinking about her situation was important to her then. Eventually, she attained her goal. She was in a respected profession again. Even in her weaker moments, pride in her accomplishment never completely went away, and she was able to right herself emotionally - until the next time of despair assailed her.

Eventually, even that passed. She seldom consciously flagellated herself anymore over her failings, even though she had plenty of time to think when she worked a night shift. With all of the automated equipment and communicators to call for assistance whenever needed, Marla was usually alone when she worked at night on the ward. Marla now actually preferred to work night shifts, when given the choice.

It was funny, but Marla had never even noticed until long after it was a fait accompli that her emotional state during the overnight hours had evolved from experiencing constant terror, in anticipation of an imminent attack, to feeling it was her favorite time of day. The transformation took place while she was still working at the quarantine hospital. It had been such difficult work, caring for individuals of all ages sickened by an engineered plague. Their suffering was acute, and the projected life span of the individuals so afflicted was severely truncated. She had been recruited because humans were not susceptible to the infection, and caregivers at the height of the plague were in very short supply.

The condition had been incurable when she first arrived at the hospital. No one had really expected one would ever be found. About five years ago, however, a researcher had discovered a successful treatment quite by accident. It was too little, too late, for many. Sadly, only a fifth of the plague's victims were still alive to receive the cure, and the treatment had its own dangers for those who chose to receive it. Only two thirds survived the attempt. Once this was known, some of those eligible to receive it declined the honor of treatment. By this time, however, attrition from all causes had taken its toll. There simply wasn't enough work for everyone at the hospital anymore. Marla was one of those whose "services were no longer needed." She was "downsized" out of her position.

One thing you never have to worry about is finding people who need medical care, as Marla quickly realized. She moved further out into the Gamma Quadrant, finding work in a facility which provided specialized care to disabled orphaned children. Once restored to at least a semblance of normal functioning, it was hoped they would eventually be adopted by families. Thanks to wars, there never seemed to be a shortage of severely disabled orphans.

Most of the children had always been residents of the Gamma Quadrant, but a few, such as Felania, were from the Alpha Quadrant. Some came from as far away as the Beta Quadrant. Felania had required genetic re-sequencing if she was ever to become an independently functioning adult. Why this treatment was still not legally obtained in the Federation when it was the only viable treatment for someone like Felania remained a mystery to Marla. It was not her place to question Federation policies, though. Not anymore. She doubted she would ever return to Earth. It was no longer her home.

After deciding to sacrifice having a family of her own years ago, Marla had never looked back. Her maternal instincts were strong, however, and mothering these multiply bereft youngsters while they lived in the Children's Center satisfied her need to care for others. She seldom considered how she felt about this life she'd carved out for herself. Whenever anyone asked her if she was happy, Marla preferred to use one of her former shipmate Seven of Nine's favorite responses: "Happiness is irrelevant." As far as Marla was concerned, maintaining a sense of self- respect was far more important.

Marla halted her night-time ruminations when her computer terminal beeped its discreet "message arrived" signal. After quickly reviewing the ten monitors of her patients to see that all were still fast asleep, Marla opened her message program. She smiled with pleasure when she saw the name of the sender, and even more warmly when the faces of her sister and her niece Marlena appeared on the screen.

:::Aunt Marla! Hi! This is Marlena. And my Mom.:::

The image of her sister laughed. :::I'm sure she can see who it is, Marlena. Hi from me, too! Jack isn't here right now, and Rick isn't back yet from a training mission, but we didn't want to wait for them to contact you. We've got an invitation to pass on, and we know you'll need to make plans right away if you want to take us up on it.:::

:::It's a wedding invitation! And you'll never guess who the bride and groom are! Naomi came today to invite all of us, and she says I can call her Naomi and not Commander Wildman! . . . .:::

Kaylyn added, :::And if you come for the wedding, you can be here for Rick's graduation from the Advanced Tactical Training program! It's right around the same time, Marla. Please come! It's been too long. We'd all love to see you.:::

:::I want to meet you, Aunt Marla! In person! Please come! . . . :::

Even through the static in the images, Marla could see the tears rolling down her sister's cheeks, matching the ones streaking down her own face. To go home again. You can't go home again, as the saying goes, and that's probably true. "Time marches on," that old cliché. But could she afford a visit, at least? After all this time?

Once the visual message from Kaylyn and Marlena was finished, Marla opened the attachment showing the wedding invitation. Tasteful, and very beautiful. "So, Icheb and Naomi are finally getting married! That is wonderful," Marla whispered to herself, as she wiped the tears from her face. She remembered the fuss over how young Naomi was when the two became so close on Voyager. Naomi wanted to become engaged then, she recalled, and was very put out when Icheb decided they were rushing things and needed to "cool it." Naomi must be in her twenties by now, not a little girl in anyone's eyes any more, even if she were totally human and not half Ktarian. And Icheb must be quite the distinguished man now. Was he thirty yet? She realized she didn't remember exactly how old Icheb was. In fact, she didn't think she'd ever known his exact biological age. Icheb's childhood assimilation by the Borg tended to muddle factoids like that.

Well, one thing was for sure. They weren't rushing things. Somehow, it felt right to Marla they were finally going to be together. Some unions were meant to be, just as some were not.

Going to a wedding. How long had it been since she'd attended such an event? One of the doctors at the quarantine hospital invited her to his wedding, she remembered, but that was at least nine years ago. Marla noted the message had taken over a week to get to her, according to the timestamp. She would have to make her plans quickly if she did decide to go. It was to be in Colorado, at what Marla seemed to remember was a very swanky place. Celebrities had their big events there, if it was the one she thought it was. Icheb was an admiral's son, of course. No doubt the Paris family could afford to help Naomi's parents pay for a big wedding. According to the invitation, accommodations for the entire weekend were to be provided for the guests. It was going to be a very fancy wedding indeed! It was a very tempting offer.

Marla hadn't gone back home to see her sister and her family since she'd fled Earth so many years ago, once her general discharge shattered any chance she had of making a life in Starfleet, or a life with Harry. Yes, Kaylyn had assured her that Admiral Paris was going to make sure there would be no harassment from anyone while Marla attended the wedding, but if she was going to travel all that way home, she wasn't going to stay for just one weekend. She'd also be staying with her sister, maybe visiting with their cousins and other family. Those reporter types might not get to her at the wedding, but what about before and after? Could she bring herself to go to Starfleet Headquarters to attend her nephew's graduation? She didn't want to taint him with her own disgrace any more than she had been willing to blight Harry's career.

And what about Harry? They had corresponded that one time, so many years ago, but since then, nothing, by her own choice. What would his reaction be to her if they were actually in the same room again?

No. It would be better if she didn't go.

Until she heard footsteps hesitantly approaching the nursing station, Marla hadn't realized she'd started weeping again. She looked up to see Felania, dragging her hand along the wall of the corridor, orienting herself in the total darkness created when she'd lost her eyes.

"Miss Marla, are you all right?" she whispered. "I heard crying."

"Oh, yes, Felania. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

Marla resisted the urge to get up to guide Felania to the second chair in the nursing station. The girl treasured her newly-obtained Almost Adult status and wanted to act as independently as possible. Instead, Marla lightly scratched the surface of the chair so Felania could hear where she had to go to find a seat.

Once Felania was safely ensconced in the chair, Marla glanced at the bank of monitors again. The other nine still showed deep sleep patterns. Marla could spare a little time to speak with her young visitor. She didn't have to worry about confidentiality issues with Felania. This patient couldn't see any of the medical information on the monitor screens.

"I was just going to check to see how all of you were, Felania. The monitors showed you were sound asleep a few minutes ago."

"Oh, I'm doing okay. It's exciting being an Almost Adult."

"You can't vote yet though."

Felania giggled at that. "No, not yet. Not for seven years. By then, I should be able to see those politicians talking and judge for myself whether they're telling the truth or not!"

Marla chuckled softly at that. "You certainly will. You'll be able to see long before then."

"I don't need to be able to see to know something is bothering you, Miss Marla."

This is one smart cookie, Marla thought, but she said, "Oh, it's just that I've received an invitation to a wedding, back home in the Alpha Quadrant. I don't think I can go, so it was making me a little sad."

"Why can't you go? Don't you have lots of vacation time coming to you? Everyone says you're always here!"

"That's not the problem, really. I think I do have enough time, even for such a long trip." And my superiors would be delighted if I'd take some, because I'll lose several more carryover days this year if I don't take any again, Marla added to herself.

"Is it . . . too expensive?" Felania asked very carefully.

Marla appreciated Felania's sensitivity. She knew the girl had been told many times it wasn't polite to talk about finances with anyone, but Felania had always been curious about the subject. Sadly, finances would be something Felania would always have to worry about if she never was adopted - or even if she was, if the family did not have the resources to pay for the sort of medical follow-up care Felania was likely to need for the rest of her life.

Marla tried to make light of the issue. "No, I can afford a trip like this. I just can't bring myself to leave all of you here while I go gallivanting around the galaxy!"

"We'd survive without you for a few weeks, Miss Marla. And when you came back, you'd have lots of stories to tell us about your trip. About the wedding, too. Who's getting married?"

"I used to serve on a starship, and the bride and groom were my shipmates. They were very young when we were on the same ship, but even then, they were very fond of each other. And now they're getting married. It will be a very big wedding. You might even hear of it here, even though it's taking place very far away. They're both famous Starfleet officers."

"Oh, Miss Marla, you should go! Maybe we could see you in the newsvids, if it's that kind of wedding. Well, I'll be able to see you after my procedures are done, anyway."

"If I get my face in the newsvids, you mean!" Marla smiled at the image, and then frowned. That's not something she'd like to have happen, not at all. She could just imagine the commentator's catty remarks when Marla's face appeared on the screen!

Felania, oblivious to Marla's worried frown, continued, "And is this wedding taking place on the planet you're from? Will you be able to visit with your family while you're there?"

Breaking away with some difficulty from her preoccupation with unwanted newsvid attention, Marla slowly answered, "Yes. My sister and her family are invited to this wedding, too."

"Then it's decided. You HAVE to go, Miss Marla. To see your family again. It would be so nice to have a family to visit. All of mine was killed off when the Dvinyans attacked our colony." The girl sighed. "Maybe someday I'll have a family again, when I get my eyes back."

Marla bit her lip to keep herself from crying again. Felania said this in a very matter-of-fact tone, but Marla knew the loss of her family often overwhelmed the girl with sorrow. This was not the first time Felania had awakened and visited Marla at the nursing station in the small hours of the night. Most of the time, their conversations were much grimmer than this one was. But Marla only said, "I'm sure, as soon as your treatments are completed, the Social Services Department will find a 'forever family' for you. Count on it."

Felania reached out and touched the sleeve of Marla's uniform. Marla covered the girl's green six-fingered hand with her own flesh-toned five-fingered one. The two shared a moment of quiet reflection, accompanied by the hum of life-support equipment beneath the sounds of the intake and outflow of their gentle breathing.

Finally, Marla advised, "You'd better get back to bed, Felania. I have to do my rounds. I should have finished them fifteen marsa units ago! My supervisor will want to know why I did them so late!"

"You can say I came to visit you because I needed to talk about becoming an Almost Adult today! I won't mind. I know you have to worry about keeping our heads on straight and not just our medical status! I've heard Dr. Soveny say that lots of times to the staff when they think I'm not listening, but my hearing is very, very good!"

Marla couldn't help laughing. It was a direct quote from Dr. Soveny's ponderous lectures to staff, old and new. "Thank you. I may take you up on that offer! Now, it's time for bed. Shall we walk together to your room?"

The girl stood up and adjusted her hand so that it was tucked into Marla's arm just above the elbow, thereby giving Marla permission to be Felania's guide. The two walked back to the girl's room. Once Felania had climbed back into bed, Marla could not resist lifting the blanket over her and tucking her in. "Sweet dreams, Felania," Marla whispered, rubbing the top of the girls head lightly, the way a Zarconian parent would her child.

Felania smiled and murmured "Mummym" softly. It was the word for mother in Zarconian. Marla had looked it up once. It wasn't the first time Felania had used the term around Marla. She didn't know if the girl used it around anyone else. Perhaps it was just a night shift sort of thing.

When Marla left Felania's bedside, she quickly moved from room to room to survey the status of all of her other charges. Her conversation with Felania did not appear to have disturbed any of the other sleepers. The equipment recording their life signs revealed no problems with any of them. No one was due any medications or physical lifesign checks before morning. With any luck at all, it would continue to be quiet until the day workers arrived in the morning for the transition from night to day shift.

Once she'd checked on everyone, Marla passed by Felania's room again. The Zarconian girl had fallen back to sleep.

Returning to her seat in front of the monitors, Marla sighed. Orphans. Every one of her charges on the ward at present was an orphan.

So, in a way, was Marla, but she was orphaned by her own actions, not fate, as was the case with all of the youngsters in her care. It had been so long since she'd seen her family. Transmissions and messages were all well and good, but they couldn't replace a hug, a kiss, or a nightlong chat session between sisters. She'd never even met her own namesake in person, and that was troubling. Marlena wasn't so little any more, and she deserved better from her aunt, her mother's only sister.

Marla had made her choice about marriage with full awareness of what she was doing. She knew she would live by that choice for the rest of her life. But was it really necessary to stay away from her own loved ones forever? Must she totally forego family life to pay for what she'd done so many years ago in the Delta Quadrant? Hadn't she paid for her sins enough?

If no one came forward to adopt Felania, would it be so terrible for a human from Earth to adopt a Zarconian? She had a hunch the Social Services Department wouldn't mind all that much. It wouldn't really hurt to ask, anyway. She knew her supervisor had adopted one of the younger children who was of a different ancestry. Felania, an "Almost Adult," might be even more difficult to place in a "forever family."

Marla would think about that when the time came. Felania faced many procedures before her eyes were regrown and her brain damage was fully healed. It would be months before that sort of decision would need to be made.

In the meantime, there was a wedding coming up, and just maybe it was time for Marla Gilmore to find enough courage to face the crew which had adopted her so many years ago. She'd slipped away from all of them, like a thief in the night. Perhaps that had been appropriate, considering her actions when she first met up with the crew of Voyager, but eventually she had earned their respect. She owed it to them, and maybe to herself, to see them one more time, even if all she had to say to them was "Good-bye; have a nice life."

After another quick glance at the monitors and seeing that all was still well with her charges, Marla checked the vacation schedule posted in the computer. There didn't seem to be a conflict with anyone else's request that couldn't be covered easily with available staff. She could put in a formal request after her shift ended in the morning.

Opening up her message program to send a text-only transmission, which would take a much shorter time to get to her sister than the visual one she'd just received, Marla wrote:

"Kaylyn, I received your message today, the one with the wedding invitation attachment. I'm going to have to check on travel connections to see if it's possible, of course, but since I've got a lot of vacation time due, which my boss has been nagging me to take, maybe I CAN find a way to come . . . ."

The end