Disclaimer: Anything Dragon Ball related belongs to Akira Toriyama, Toei Animetion and Fuji TV. "My Name is not ..." books belongs to Jennifer Fosberry. This is non-profit fun.

1.

The father looked at the clock on the wall and let out a sigh. He already cursed himself countless time all morning (And it's only 7) for agreeing to this mess, but the Prince of Saiyan does not go back on his word.

So with renewed determination he marched into the battle zone. Opening the bedroom door and throwing open the curtains, the father bellowed, "It's time to wake up, Trunks! Now get up."

Sunlight streamed in and the little boy with lavender hair sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. But his face lit up when he saw who it was in his room.

"My name is not Trunks."The little boy said with a huge grin.

Ok, the woman did warn him that his son was going through a phrase and he might expect something like this. So with an exaggerated eyeroll, the father said, "Then who's been sleeping in my son's bed?"

"I am Mr. Satan! The greatest hero who ever was!" The little boy hopped up and striked the world's saviour's signature pose.

The father's jaw dropped, and for the longest time stared at his son in astonishment. Finally, after what seems like a long time, he snapped his jaw shut, and said, "Well, M...Mr. Satan, get dressed and go eat your breakfast."

Promise of food had the little boy moving, while the father left the room, still bewildered. This was going to be a long day.

2.

"Hurry up, Trunks, you're going to be late for school." The father said. By school, he meant the exclusive daycare centre the boy's mother spend thousands of zeni each month on for kami-knows-what reason. But at least today he was relieved that his son wouldn't been in his sole care until at least 5 o'clock.

The little boy huffed and crossed his arm. The father realized his error and massaged his temple.

"Hurry up, Mr. Satan, you're going to be late for school."

"My name is not Mr. Satan." The little boy said brightly, and shoved another egg into his mouth.

"No, it's definitely not. Fine, then who's going to have So. Much. Fun at school today?"

"I am Gohan, the brightest scholar who ever was!"

"Really, boy, really? With your mother, your grandfather and all the researchers in the company all around you, Gohan is the brightest scholar?" The father shook his head in disbelieve."Well then, Gohan, hurry up and finish your food. You mother is going to flip if you get another late slip."

3.

He had been dreading this. He questioned his judgment again and again for being roped into this, but his woman had repeated umpteenth time that "routine is the key to a well behaved child", and this was part of his son's routine. If he was more honest with himself, he was a little afraid to find out what would happen if he deviate from the routine. So here he was, waiting outside his son's daycare centre with a baseball in his pocket.

The little boy beamed when he saw his father waiting by the gate. "Papa!" He ran up and hugged his father around the leg.

The father looked down coolly at his son's adoring eyes, then finally uncrossed his arms and gave the little boy one of his finger to hold on to.

"Come on, Trunks, let's get you to the park."

"Papa~"The little boy protested.

"Right." The father groaned."Let's get you to the park, Gohan."

"Ha, my name is not Gohan." Said the little boy with a smirk, not unlike one of his father's.

"No? Ok, then who's going to be playing ball in the park?" Somehow he was in a much better mood than he was five minutes ago. He walked along in a leisurely pace for his small son to keep up, while tossing the old baseball in his free hand. He was getting a hang of this taking-care-of-his-son thing.

"I am Yamcha, the coolest ball player who ever was!"

Crunch! The father stopped in his track and looked down at the crushed the ball in his hand. Temper started to rise as he looked down again at his small son again, only to be replaced by panic by the look on the boy's face.

Down turned quivering mouth. Check.

Big, watery puppy eyes. Check.

Nose turning red. Check.

His woman's voiced echoed eerily in his mind. "Do not deviate from his routine...routine...routine...routine...".

He desperately tried to remember any of the parenting advices his mother-in-law threw around all the time while watched helplessly as the waterwork and wailing started. Finally, something emerged from the confusion of panic, chaos and the piercing pain in his ears. "Best way to deal with a toddler's tantrum is distraction."

"Don't cry, uh, Yamcha, how about we go get some ice-cream?"

It worked like a charm. Praise that bumbling idiot.

4.

"Training time, Yamcha," the father said, trying best to keep a neutral tone, "Go change and meet me by the gravity room."

By training, he meant turning the gravity to 10G and just let his small son run around to tire him out. He already did this everyday. This part, he can handle. Or so he thought until they were about to enter the gravity simulator.

"My name is not Yamcha." Said the little boy.

"Thank Kami. Who's going to learn the sacred kata of royal house of Vegeta, then?"

"I am Goku! The bravest warrior who ever was! Uh, Papa?"

The father froze with only one feet inside the door, his hair turned gold and eyes turned teal, all the while just taking deep, slow breath, trying to reign the power in.

"Just start your warm up, i'll be right back. " He said when he could finally trust himself to speak, and started walking away in a trance. He would have to explain the property damage to the woman and her parents later, but right now all he could do was not blow up the room with his son in it. "Oh, and don't touch the controls." Yes, he definitely deserved a medal for remembering that.

5.

Bath time. He hated bath time. Hearing his little boy singing off key, getting splashed on was not his idea of fun. Especially after what happened in the gravity simulator. But before the woman came home, he would be the only acting adult, and need to supervise the bath because it was a "drowning hazard".

Letting out another sigh, the father called out wearily, "It's time for your bath, Go..I'm not calling you that, brat."

"It's ok, my name is not Goku."The little boy said.

"I certainly hope not, or your mother is a bigger fool than she appears. Then who's going to play with the rubber duckies? What are those for anyway?" He was so tired. He understood why the boy's mother let him get away with so much now, it was just not worth the energy to fight the boy's active imagination.

The little boy shot out of his chair and flung himself at his father, hugging him tight around the waist. "I'm Papa, the best father who ever was!"

That genuinely took the father by surprise. As he looked down at his son's beaming face, looking for sarcasm, but finding only admiration, something deep in his chest clenched.

A large hand fell on the lavender tresses and gave it a rough ruffle, and his voice came out a lot more gentler than the boy was used to.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up and see about that story that your mother insists on reading to you."

6.

The bath was done, the little boy tucked in snug and warm, the ridiculous story read and the little boy yawned.

"OK, light out now...I'm definitely not calling you 'Papa'."The father said.

"My name is not Papa." Said the little boy sluggishly.

The father let out a low chuckle, "Then who's been tormenting your old man all day long?"

"It's me, Trunks! The greatest, brightest, coolest, bravest, best little boy who ever was!" The little boy fell asleep, and dreamed of who he would be tomorrow.

Epilogue (sort of)

It was well past midnight when Bulma finally landed her hoverjet on the Capsule Corp ground. Coercing Vegeta into watching Trunks today seemed like a good idea a few days ago when she found out both she and her parents would be away. It seemed like a good father-son bonding opportunity, but doubt appeared the minute she left home this morning and only grew as the day went on. Finally, she panicked when she saw the destroyed storage sheds and garden as she made her final approach home. Racing into the living compound without bothering to encapsulate her hoverjet, the scene greeted her was...surprisingly normal. Oh, it was a war zone all right, but it was the kind of war zone you'd expect from a man who never bothered to pick up after himself and a toddler, stray toys, sippy cups, dirty dishes and wet towels, nothing a few cleaning bots couldn't handle. Feeling calmer, Bulma tip-toed to Trunks' room and peeked in. Her boy slept soundly, sprawled on his bed, all in one piece and unharmed. Breathing out a sigh of relieve, Bulma backed out of Trunks' room, and into a wall of muscles.

"Explain to me, "Vegeta drawled, smirking briefly at his mate's surprised yelp, "Why does my son believe that Kakarott was, and I quote,'the bravest warrior who ever was'?"

So that explained the storage shed. Bulma was actually impressed that the main building still stood intact, but she was not going to tell him that. Crossing her arm, unconsciously mirroring Vegeta's signature stance, she retorted, "With the amount of time he spend at the Son residence, are you really that surprised?"

"Tch, bring him straight home after school from tomorrow. He can start on real kata now."

"Is that your way of saying that you regret not spend much time with him before?" Bulma winked and started backing away, but a strong hand fell on the nape of her neck and stopped her. Bulma shivered.

"Not done with you yet." Vegeta's voice dropped to a low, almost playful purr. "For not correcting that false believe, and putting me through the torture today, you need to be..." The hand at her neck started roaming lower as he leaned over to whispered by her ear, "punished."

Author's note:

My son got a customizable book for his first Christmas, in which a little boy imagined himself to be various historical figure, and somehow, after reading it at least a few dozen times later, somehow the phrase "I'm Goku, the bravest warrior who ever was" just stuck in my head and I had to write it down. It sort of got out of control from there, and had to endure some serious OOC, but the thought of Vegeta having to during the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood makes laugh.