All right, after delaying the inevitable, I'm going to try again with a Penelope Pitstop fanfiction! Okay, I will admit, my first few tries... weren't all that great... one of the tries I deleted because there was only one person who cared about the story at all... well, this time, even if there's nobody who cares about this, I'm going to put it up anyway! A new Penelope Pitstop fanfiction is on the way! Anyway, enjoy!

"When we last saw Penelope Pitstop, she was relaxing under her favorite tree, writing in her diary."

Penelope just rolled her eyes at the narration going on as she was, indeed, writing in her diary under a tree in the park. Penelope shook her head as she was beginning to write as she said to herself, "Dear diary, it had been quite a few... months since the last time the Hooded Claw tried to get rid of me. Personally, I'm getting quite concerned. That would probably mean that he's up to no good again. But I'm not worried. As long as I have my best friends with me, I feel we can pull out of any situation..."

Penelope then started writing in the other page. "Let me explain to you about the Ant Hill Mob. They found me when I was a scared little kid, not knowing where to go, just being alone in the world. I knew what had happened to my parents, and... I try to get that traumatic event out of my head. I look up to them like older brothers... or rather, I should look down at them. Either way, they're still like my older brothers. They initially caught me and... ahem... held me as a 'hostage' until somebody came to pay money to collect me... but I got to know them overtime and learned that they weren't all that bad. They felt sorry I lost my parents at quite a young age and... they were determined to help protect me ever since."

Penelope Pitstop smiled as she flipped the page and started writing. "Another person I look to like a father is Sylvester Sneakly. Okay, we don't often look each other in the eye except on formal occasions, but he's always been there for me at my most delightful moments. At least he cares for me..."

Penelope sighed as she looked up at the sun, as it was about to go into the afternoon. "Why, I'm so delighted about this wonderful day..."

Meanwhile, Zippy, one of the Ant Hill Mob, was humming to himself as he was walking home with groceries. He was passing by a street, humming to himself, being careful as not to drop the groceries (specifically as Clyde as instructed)... when he heard laughing from a distance.

"Huh?" Zippy blinked as he put down the groceries and zipped over as he peeked out, seeing the Hooded Claw, along with his bored henchmen, the Bully Brothers talking.

"Now listen up, Bully Brothers! I have a new plan to capture Penelope for sure!" The Hooded Claw laughed.

"Oh, really? Just how are you POSSIBLY going to kill Penelope THIS time, Claw?" One of the Bully Brothers named Crane, rolled his eyes.

"Hey, who said you can talk without your brother speaking at the same time?" The Hooded Claw glared.

"Nobody, but we're doing so, anyway." The other Bully Brother, named Tank, said. "Besides, you said this was important."

"And it is! Because... I'm not going to kill Penelope... I'm going to seduce her!" The Hooded Claw gave a wicked smile.

The Bully Brothers' eyes widened as they started to cover their mouths and gagged, Crane saying, "THAT'S DISGUSTING! SHE IS SIXTEEN, MAYBE SEVENTEEN! YOU ARE AN ADULT!"

"Ah... but no matter the age group, I can make Penelope fall in love with me, and when we get married, I can off her and the fortune is mine!" The Hooded Claw gave a laugh.

"No, no, it's disgusting! Whatever plan you go with, we do NOT want a part of!" Tank complained.

"Okay, suit yourself... but you just lost your paycheck for this week." The Hooded Claw gave a smirk.

"Since WHEN have you paid us?" Crane rolled his eyes.

"Oh, shut up! I'm going to make a nice little love potion and when I give it to Penelope... she's mine for sure!" The Hooded Claw laughed.

Crane and Tank gave a glare as the two decided to walk off, Tank said. "Sylvester Sneekly, you are a disgusting human being who just wants to kill off all the Pitstops for the money."

"Thank you." The Hooded Claw said.

"S-S-Sylvester Sneekly?" Zippy shook his head in shock... and when he saw the Hooded Claw spinning around, it was indeed, Sylvester Sneekly himself!

Zippy yelped as he zipped off quickly, then zipped back with a camera as he took a picture of Sylvester Sneekly.

"Ah, it feels so good to get out of these clothes." The Hooded Claw sighed. "To be honest, they were starting to feel itchy..."

Zippy's eyes widened in horror as he had seen enough, zipping back with the groceries to tell his leader what he had seen.

"No kiddin'?" Clyde said in amazement as he and the other members of the Ant Hill Mob was looking at the picture Zippy took.

"Yeah, clear as day, the Hooded Claw is really Sylvester Sneekly, Penelope's guardian!" Zippy said.

"I can't believe it!" Clyde said.

Yak-Yak laughed as he said, "You said it. Penelope doesn't know that her guardian is really her attempted killer!"

The Ant Hill Mob paused as Dum-Dum asked, "Duh, what do we do, Clyde? We can't tell Penelope that Sylvester is the Hooded Claw... it would just break her."

"I know, I know... but we have to do something..." Clyde paused. "Zippy, you said that the Hooded Claw was going to use a potion to make her fall in love with him?"

"True to the word!" Zippy said.

"Then it's settled! We have to set up Penelope with a man before the Hooded Claw goes through with his plan!" Clyde said.

"Uh, s-surely you don't mean one of us?" Softy cried nervously.

"No, of course not, Softy! We're way too old for Penelope!" Clyde frowned. "No... what we need is somebody who can fall for her who's the same age as Penelope here..."

Snoozy, who was snoring, sleepingly passed a flyer to Clyde as Clyde looked at it. "What is this, Snoozy?"

"Zzzzz... look for yourself." Snoozy snoozed.

Clyde read the flyer. "A Teenage Get-Together for Spring Break, all teenagers invited!"

Clyde snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "Snooz, you're a genius! We're going to take Penelope to that Spring Break Get-Together, and she's going to have fun!"

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Pockets smiled as everyone nodded.

The Ant Hill Mob began planning. They so couldn't wait to go to Spring Break...

"Honestly, can you believe that guy?" Crane sighed as he and Tank arrived at their apartments.

"Tell me about it. Ma always told us to never be minions. Looks like we listened to the wrong parent when we listened to dad, huh?" Tank raised an eyebrow.

"What we need is a small vacation... something to take us away from the hustle and bustle of the Hooded Claw..." Crane said as Tank went through the mail.

"Oh, hey, Crane, look at this! There's a Spring Break event going on for teenagers!" Tank smiled as he passed one to Crane.

"So?" Crane asked, out of curiosity.

"This is what we need, a break! All we have to do is attend! Claw's going to be busy with his disgusting idea, he won't even know we left! Besides, you always said we need to re-live our teenager years!" Tank offered.

Crane paused... then smiled. "You're right, Tank! Pack your bags, because we're having a fun spring break!"

The two brothers high-fived each other as they were starting to fetch their bags and start packing.

And the first chapter shall be ended here! How'd you like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!