Suggestive Hunting

"Alright, settle down. The sloth community is having their whole-day Sloth Day Festival across Central today. Yes, Hopps, I know it's a parade. But with their speed, or truthfully, lack of it, the city council has declared it to be a whole day festival instead to avoid complications. Half of you lot will be on guard duty, slash standby. I will tell you all right now: don't expect any action anytime today. The whole city slows down with them."

The gazelle at the cash register gave her thanks to the customer who took his leave after paying an exact amount. Getting change was always a small challenge in itself, so she appreciates the rest from receiving just the right number of Bucks for a purchase. From the outside of the store, four police officers gazed through the large glass window by the store's front, their eyes with interest on a particular animal.

"What do you think?" Officer Nicholas Wilde, a red fox with a blue summer uniform, inquired to his three larger companions. The brown wolf to his right was deep in thought, staring sharply at every detail of their target.

"Hmm… maybe a six." The wolf, Officer Wolford, broke his concentration with disinterest. Disinterest that the other wolf, a white one, beside him reacted to. Violently.

"A six?! You're calling that beauty over there a six?!" The officer beside Wolford, Officer Fangmeyer, shouted at his fellow canine with loud disbelief. The brown wolf, in a similar shirt and Kevlar uniform as Fangmeyer, turned to said wolf unfazed.

"The curves deceive you. There's barely anything in them." Wolford pointed out. The face of the gazelle inside the store starts to fall to boredom, prompting her to look around and take an open magazine she sees on top of the counter. She doesn't notice the four policemen outside gazing through the window.

"But they look so big…" Fangmeyer turned his head back to the subject all four predators were interested in, his eyes moving up and down with longing.

"Wolford has a point. If your turn your head slightly to the left, you would see…" Nick unconsciously tilted his head in that direction, an action followed by the other three officers.

"… A six." The fox concluded anticlimactically.

"Only six also!?" Fangmeyer reacted with the same disbelief.

"Big words from you, Wilde. They look just a big as you are."A large tiger in blue, Officer Delgato, taunted his smaller co-worker who shot him a sly smirk in return.

"Delgato, you should know that we foxes always aim big, no matter what. And I tell you, that body doesn't satisfy me." Nick retorted with his everyday sass. Delgato just rolled his eyes. The gazelle cashier continues to read her magazine, still unaware of the debating officers.

"Well I think Wolford and Wilde are crazy. That's obviously an eight in my book. Look at the size of those-"

"Just an eight?" Delgato rolled his eyes again as he was interrupted by clearly disappointed white wolf.

"What other score will you give, Fangmeyer?"

"He gives those assets a perfect ten." Nick suddenly bumps in before Fangmeyer let a word out his mouth.

"A bit low-standard, aren't we?" Wolford asks skeptically, only to be ignored by his fellow wolf staring longingly through the window, placing a paw on the clear glass.

"Look at them! So big, so tender, so… beautiful." Fangmeyer describes with emotion reserved for romantic couples.

The gazelle's ears twitched when she heard contact with the glass and looked up from her magazine to see the four officers looking in. She gave a soft smile to all of them before giving a small giggle at the sight of a ridiculous Fangmeyer who unconsciously had his tongue out. The wolf's eyes widened at the notion that he was caught staring. He gave a sheepish smile back before turning around embarrassed, his tongue still out. It was very amusing sight for the other three officers.

"You might as well get in there and ask her about them. Every juicy detail about them." Wolford suggested with a tease in his voice to Fangmeyer, who just noticed his tongue was still out.

"And here I thought we were window shopping." Delgato teasingly snickered.

"You can't just ask about stuff like that!" Fangmeyer exclaimed, obviously embrassed and nervous.

"Why not? The gazelle's not doing anything at the moment." Wilde pointed out, bringing their eyes away from the wolf who made a fool out of himself towards the gazelle. The cashier girl had half her attention on her magazine and the other half trying to satisfy her curiosity on the officers outside, unaware of their intentions.

"And you better make up your mind because I'm eyeing that prize for a dinner for two tonight." Delgato displayed a smirk as the unspoken challenge made its way to the white wolf. Fangmeyer gave back a threatening glare.

"Don't even think about it, Tiger Boy."

"Nick, where are you? We're up soon!" A familiar feminine call broke the tense atmosphere around the predators. Officer Judy Hopps walked right around the corner, her eyes searching around for her red partner. She spotted him, along with their co-workers right outside one of the stores by the street. Judy started making her way them, confused with their gathering.

"Hey, Carrots." Nick greeted with the same slyness in his voice he usually carried. The momentary silence of the officers was broken when the tiger and the white wolf threw banters at each other. Wolford just continued to watch his two co-workers go at it.

"What are you guys doing?" Judy asked the fox.

"Just admiring the merchandise. And scoring it with passion, too." Her partner gestured to the store behind him, one which Judy was able to see through the glass window since she got closer. Following the occasional gazes of the other three officers gave while in their squabble, her eyes rest on their target.

"Hmph." And she frowned, obviously not amused. "You're all such pigs to take something like that seriously."

"Officer Boarton would take offense to that." Nick pointed out to her. Judy rolled her eyes, while sending a silent apology in her mind to the bovine. Somewhere along, they also started hearing Wolford's voice along with the squabbling of the other two.

"Anyway, we need to go back. The parade is just two block away." Indeed, the sounds of the parade edged closer and closer. They have been coming closer for the past hour.

"Please. It would be another 15 minutes before they even get across one block. We're just taking a small break, observing the environment, keeping our eyes on the other citizens." Nick confidently reassured before looking again through the window with the same desire in his eyes. "And their wares."

Judy, continuing her frown, was about to retort when another feminine voice joined in.

"Hey! What's the hold up?" A snow leopard in a blue combat uniform and Kevlar vest ran towards her co-workers, just as confused as Judy was a while back, only this time regarding on why they haven't returned to their area yet.

"Spotnik, you got to check this out." Fangmeyer called out to the snow leopard a few inches taller than him, pointing to the window behind the officers. Officer Spotnik looked through the window, wondering what the big deal was when her eyes also laid on the object, or rather body, of interest of the her predator co-workers. She liked what she saw.

"Daaang. Not bad." The white feline said with desire, licking her lips slowly. The gazelle continued to grow curious as the number of officers outside the store grew.

"On a scale of one to ten?" Delgato asked Spotnik.

"Oh definitely a ten." She said with a hungry look in her eye. The Gazelle suddenly looked scared. She took a look at her watch before heading straight into the stock room. The police officer's continued to stare, only noticing the gazelle for a couple of seconds before returning to their argument.

"See? Spotnik knows taste." Fangmeyer pointed out to an unconvinced Wolford.

"Spotnik's a cat."

"And so is Delgato."

"He gave a high score to it, too. Their cats. You're a canine. It doesn't make sense that-"

"Enough! We need to get back to the parade! Who's getting the salmon?" Judy loudly broke the banter her co-workers were having outside Antler's Smokehouse. Displayed in plain sight of the large window was a humongous red salmon, being larger than Hopps herself and prepared to cook and eat. Not only did this catch the officers' eyes, but the placard with the number "50%" and the words "Salmon Sale" immediately brought the predators to the store like moths to a flame.

"Guess I'm waiting in line, then. That fish is mine and the missus' when the gazelle comes back." Officer Delgato said with a confident tone, marching his way smoothly to the entrance of the smokehouse.

"Oh howl no! I'm having that salmon for dinner tonight if it's the last thing I do!" And Officer Fangmeyer ran clumsily through the door, grabbing a part of the Salmon before Delgato took it off the display.

"Hey, boys! Ladies first!" And with that, Officer Spotnik followed the other two officers into the store, leaving an unamused Judy alone with the two officers who just stared blankly at their companions who were arguing wordlessly behind the glass. The gazelle did return to the cashier, though she started getting a little concerned at the banter happening between the three predators.

"I swear Fangmeyer's ancestors were river wolves. The white coat is a lie." Wolford stated flatly, still looking at the commotion inside.

"I'm with you on that." The fox simply replied. Judy just rolled her eyes at how serious her co-workers were for a fish.

"Predators."

"I take offense to that." A reply came from both the officers to the bunny's left. A few seconds have passed before Nick broke the silence, turning to the wolf beside him.

"So… If we help Fangmeyer get that giant fish, think we'll get a share?" The fox theorized out loud to a blank-faced Wolford. The white wolf inside was shorter than the two felines, but he obviously didn't care. He wanted that fish. Badly.

"Pssh. He has to. There's no way he's finishing that in one night." The wolf scoffed, also turning his head to Nick. Another few seconds passed before toothy grins grew on the faces of both canines. Grins Officer Judy Hopps noticed with great annoyance.

"Nick, no-"

"…Let's?"

"Let's."

"Wait! Nick!"

It was too late. She saw the ends of a red, bushy tail disappear inside the store as it followed its owner in. Judy watched as Nick and Wolford went to the sides of Fangmeyer, appearing to side with him before pulling on their side of the fish.

Judy can't help but raise a paw to her face. She let out a sigh.

"Can't wait to see what the Chief will think about this."

"Hopps." And then there was the stern, gruff voice.

Me and my big mouth. She brought another paw to her head, dragging both of them over her facial features to reveal a bunny completely buggered.

"Chief." She acknowledged his presence blankly, not even turning around to face him. He took a step forward and watched the pandemonium ensure inside the smokehouse, the poor gazelle distraught on what to do. There was no visible emotion on his face. It was just… astonishment.

"Do I want an explanation on why my officers are fighting over a fish?" Judy let out another long sigh, finally thinking of the perfect thing to say at a time like this.

"Sir, I just want to say it's not Officer Wilde's fault this time."

ZOOTOPIA

"Thank you for bringing this tasty salmon home for dinner, Honey! It's always a joy to experiment on new recipes and what not." A tigress half a head shorter than Delgato said gratefully as she placed down the a well prepared main dish of cooked, pink-colored cuts of salmon on a large dinner table before hugging her husband, who look liked he gone through hell. He was slouching badly, his fur standing and bent all over the place, and his eyes seemed to be the convergence of hundreds of invisible eye bags.

"Welcome, Dear." The tiger officer just said with exhaustion in his voice, putting one arm over the tigress in a tired hug before taking his seat at one side of the table. His wife took a seat next to him, an excited expression still on her face.

"And it's also a great pleasure to meet your co-workers this evening!"

Indeed, all the officers from the smokehouse were present. Officers Spotnik and Wolford looks like they have seen better days, their fur and eyes in the same state as Delgato. Officer Fangmeyer is physically the same in appearance, but the sight of the portions of cooked fish brought him out of his messed-up face and into a state of bliss and hunger. A haggard Officer Nicholas Wilde grumbled as he tried to comb his savage tail out of the knots it formed on itself. Beside the fox, Officer Judy Hopps just sat down with a welcoming smile, appearing as if she hadn't gone through the same ordeal as the predator officers.

"I'm sorry if we don't have much in the vegetable department, Officer Hopps. You know we cats are quite picky on stuff like that." Judy's plate was just a mixture of root and grain crops and some bread, but she didn't mind. She was actually a bit happy they had something for her to eat.

"It's perfectly fine, Mrs. Delgato. And you can call me Judy." The rabbit said thankfully, bringing a smile on the tigress' face before she started placing servings on the plates of the officers. Fangmeyer almost looked like he was about to cry as he took in the sight of his portion like it was his first-born child. Or litter even.

"Anyway, let's eat, shall we? We have so much to talk about later. I want to know why my hubby and all his friends look like they swam through the crowds of the Jackuary New Year sale." The tigress continued to speak, cutting a small part of her own salmon while asking her questions.

"Was there some sort of raid? A great car chase?"

There was a silence as the predators looked up from their meal, with Fangmeyer frozen in mid-chew. They all were trying to think of what to say when they all said at the same time, coincidently:

"Bogo."

Disclaimer: I do not own Zootopia. (duh)