Saviour Needed
"Hey. You gonna jump or something?"
Deadpool pivoted where he stood on the edge of the roof, almost unbalanced, and easily caught himself. "Who're you?" he demanded.
The young woman watching him shrugged. "Name's Em."
"That's a terrible name," Deadpool answered. "And a terrible look. Jeans and a hoodie? You don't even have the hood up. And a code letter for a name? You serious?"
Em shrugged again. "Well, yeah, I guess. My name really is Em – well, Emmeline, but I never answer to that – and I always wear this sort of stuff, and it's not raining."
Deadpool clicked his fingers in her face. "You're a civilian. Why are you on a roof?"
"You looked like you might jump," Em answered simply. "Figured you might want someone to talk to."
"…You came to talk because you thought I might be thinking of suicide?" Deadpool asked, confused. "Don't you know who I am?"
"You're Deadpool, merc with a mouth," Em answered. "Doesn't mean you don't need to chat."
"Hey, I can't die!" Deadpool snapped. "Jumping won't do a thing. Not long term."
"Do you want to die?" Em asked softly. "What is it you're looking for and not finding?"
Deadpool felt frustration building. Who was this girl to ask such things, to make him think about his feelings? He drew a gun without even thinking about it. "What about you, huh? You got a death wish?"
Em watched the gun carefully. "Maybe a little. I don't fear death."
"Liar."
There was clearly caution and fear in the girl's eyes, but she wasn't panicking. "Hey, dying terrifies me, but I don't mind being dead. There's a difference."
"Oh yeah?" Deadpool snarled. "Which one's this then?"
He turned the gun around, and pulled the trigger.
"See from his head, his hands, his feet; sorrow and love flow mingled down. Did e'er such love and sorrow meet? Or thorns compose so rich a crown? Were the whole realm of nature mine; that were an offering far too small. Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."
Wade twitched slightly, the quiet singing washing over him. His head felt raw and achy from the bullet he'd put in his skull, but it was cushioned on something warm and soft.
"Amazing grace; how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see. 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed. My chains are gone; I've been set free! My God, my saviour, has ransomed me! And like a flood, his mercy reigns; unending love, amazing grace. The Lord has promised good to me; his word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures. My chains are gone; I've been set free! My God, my saviour, has ransomed me! And like a flood, his mercy reigns; unending love, amazing grace. The Earth shall soon dissolve like snow; the sun forbear to shine. But God, who called me here below, shall be forever mine. Shall be forever mine…"
The voice trailed off, and Wade opened his eyes to see Em, the woman he'd argued with before shooting himself, watching over him. She'd put his head in her lap, and gently stroked his scars.
"What are you doing?" he asked, voice cracking slightly.
"Making sure you're okay," she replied. "How are you feeling?"
"Were you singing?"
"Yeah, I was. I find it calms me." She helped him to sit upright again. "Are you feeling better now?"
"I shot myself in the head in front of you, and you sing to me and ask how I feel?" Wade frowned. He wasn't used to this sort of treatment. Then he spotted his partly-shredded mask next to him, and realised she'd seen him, and not fled. "Who are you?" he demanded.
"My name's Em," she repeated. "Short for Emmeline."
"Yeah, you said, but- who?" he spluttered.
"I want to help you, that's all," she assured him. "You look like you need a friend, and I can be one for you."
"What do you know?" Wade said gloomily. "You can't possibly know what I need."
"You're searching for something," Em murmured. "I don't know what, I don't know why, but I know when someone's looking for something. Want to talk about it?"
"I can't die," Wade murmured. There was something about the complete lack of fear in the girl's face, the self-professed semi-ignorance and it struck him deep. After all, he could always silence her later. "I can't die, and I'll lose everything. Friends, lovers, even enemies, it'll all pass away and I'll be left alone. There's nothing for me to live for, and no way not to live. Only pain and loss. Forever."
"Not forever," Em said softly. "All things must come to an end, in time. All things of Earth will die."
"Not me; never me," Wade whispered.
"Even you," Em contradicted. "Maybe it won't be until the world ends, maybe it will be before then, but your mortal life will end. Patience."
"Patience," Wade scoffed. "How can I have patience? All I know now is pain and death and it never ends."
"Patience, and hope," Em counselled. "I know it seems impossible, but you just have to be patient, and hope, and trust in the Creator."
"The Creator," Wade said sceptically. "I should have known you're a religion nut."
Em shrugged. "I can't say I've been on the verge of suicide, but I have known pain and loss. And I know who kept me strong, who held my spirit when I could not hold myself. I trust the one who saved me, my Creator and Saviour."
"Who would create one such as me, and why should anyone save me?" Wade grumbled.
"I don't know," Em whispered. "And my Christ shouldn't save you. He shouldn't save me, or anybody else. But he will. You just have to ask."
"You really believe it's that simple?" Wade asked.
"He always answers those who call," Em started humming, and resumed her singing. "I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how he could love me, a sinner, condemned, unclean. It was for me in the garden, he prayed "not my will, but thine". He had no tears for his own grief, but sweat drops of blood for mine. In pity, angels beheld him, and came from the world of light; to comfort him for the sorrows, he bore for my soul that night. He took my sins, and my sorrows; he made them his very own. He bore the burden to Calvary, and suffered and died alone. When with the ransomed in glory, his face I at last shall see; 'twill be my joy through the ages, to sing of his love for me. How marvellous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: How marvellous! How wonderful! Is my Saviour's love for me."
Wade reached out a hand to her, and echoed her song. "How marvellous, how wonderful…"
"Is our Saviour's love, for you…" Em finished.
AN: Songs used: When I Survey, Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) and I Stand Amazed.