Season 8 - Zugzwang

...

As soon as Reid started crying Hotch knew he had to get him out of there. With the threat gone he holstered his weapon and made a cautious approach. The others too closed in and he shooed them back, the last thing Reid needed right now was to be surrounded. Satisfied everyone understood Hotch took a deep breath and Kneeling down, steeled himself for what was to come.

Taking Reid by the shoulders, intending to draw the poor kid away from the scene and prying eyes Hotch was taken by surprise when Reid turned in his grip and, just like he had six years ago in a cold and wet cemetery threw himself onto Hotch. And also just like then Reid's skinny arms wrapped tightly around his neck, warm tears escaping in torrents, staining his shirt collar. Only difference was the dead body at their feet was not Tobias Hankle.

As much as the team was family this had been an ordeal Reid wasn't in any condition to face with an audience and Hotch wanted to protect him from that at least. Mindful of his injured shoulder Hotch wordlessly wrapped both his arms around the shaking body and held his boy tight, letting him cry shielded from the rest of the world.

It was moments like this that Reid, the kid who seemed detached at times, didn't like being touched to the point he won't even shake hands, managed to surprise him. Just when Hotch thinks he knows him Reid goes and does something completely unexpected. Like getting a girlfriend. Knowing he shouldn't be surprised by anything Reid does anymore didn't change the fact that despite JJ's jovial comment in the elevator that one time, nobody really knew how deep their relationship went. Until today. And now they did know not one of them was going to be able to enjoy the nervous smile Spencer sometimes wore, or tease him good naturedly about growing up and adult relationships. For someone like Reid, for whom relationships are not a dime a dozen, the damage was impossible to predict. Hotch couldn't breathe from just thinking about the consequences of witnessing someone he loved suffer such a violent death and when Haley's image flashed in his mind Hotch instinctually squeezed Reid a little tighter.

A hand squeezed Hotch's shoulder at the same time, making him jump, but not loosen his hold. Turning his head to rest on top of Reid's his own watering eyes met Rossi's. Hotch was very aware all eyes were still trained on them and so moving his head slightly again, chin brushing against Reid's fever warmed cheek Hotch nodded towards the exit.

"Go, we got this," Dave agreed, voice low and gravelly.

"You sure?" Hotch had to check, he didn't want to run out on his team, but Reid was his team too and this was an unusual if not exactly unprecedented situation.

"He doesn't need to see this," Rossi confirmed, gaze straying to the body then back on Reid.

Hand running through the boy's sweaty hair, head hot from stress and exhaustion Hotch smiled gratefully at Dave and then pushed the kid away far enough to allow them to walk, but not so far as to drop the embrace entirely. Arm around his shoulders, though Reid was still crying he had quietened down, the shaking coming in waves now, not continuous. The last couple of days had taken a heavy toll and now to end this way, the kid had clearly reached his emotional limit, exhaustion would win out in the end.

The coroner passed them in the hallway on their way down. Respectful of the situation they waited until he and Reid cleared the floor before making a move on the bodies. Bracing the stairs Hotch's thoughts drifted and he imagined Reid's body being put into the black bag they carried. It was a dream he'd had before. Not just about Reid either, but him more often than the others, in his dreams as in reality Reid usually held the same place in his heart as his son.

Reaching the paramedics who had clearly been ordered to greet them outside, one stepped forward and took Reid from him without a fight. By the tightly clenched fists and still distressed sounds Hotch had been sure the kid wouldn't be letting him go anytime soon, but the young woman managed to get him to sit on the bumper of her bus with barely a reaction.

"He's in shock." She said to Hotch immediately, obviously his expression communicated his thoughts perfectly to pick them up so accurately.

Watching her and her partner check Reid for other injures and declare the bullet wound in his arm a near miss Hotch let out a held breath in relief. As horrible as it was, he was still thankful they hadn't lost Reid today. This kid had been a part of their family since he was quite literally still a child, before all of the key moments in his adult life. They were all he knew, and with the absence of any parental figure able to look out for him Hotch felt the role of parent had along the way, fallen to him. If the team lost their youngest Hotch didn't know how any of them would continue, knowing that the job they lived their lives for had stolen him away.

As expected Reid did put up a little fight when the paramedic wanted to take him in, but not enough to really get anywhere. It was clearly the exhaustion more so than desire making him compliant until now and Hotch had found himself grateful for it made this part easier, last thing he wanted to be doing was telling Reid off.

...

Rossi walked down the stairs making his way out the warehouse. It had been difficult keeping everyone on task, what with Morgan walking around with a permanent scowl on his face, mad at the dead girl with no vent for his frustration, JJ wanting to follow Reid Rossi having to keep her back. His age and experience told him Reid didn't need an audience to his break down, it had been heart breaking enough to see him fall apart in the office earlier, Hotch was definitely the right person to be with the kid right now.

Stepping into the cool evening air, ridding himself of the smell and feel of the building that was the final scene of so much upset tonight Hotch was in fact the first person he saw.

"He okay?" Rossi asked quietly on approach.

Hotch was sitting on the bumper of their suv, Reid sitting opposite in an ambulance with a paramedic strapping his shoulder.

"Shock" Hotch didn't break from staring in the kid's direction.

"His shoulder?"

"Missed, just a graze" Hotch swallowed.

"But?" Rossi drawled taking a seat next to him.

"He's already refused to go to the hospital to be fully checked over."

Rossi frowned, sure that Hotch would have insisted he get taken care of. "You alright?"

Hotch seemed to think but by the time his face settled in decision Dave thought he already knew what he was going to say.

"I was just thinking of Haley." Aaron said regrettably, but moving them swiftly on. "He needs to stay with us tonight, he can't be alone.

Can't. Not shouldn't.

"Understandable" Rossi confirmed running sweaty palms over his pant legs in a nervous gesture not often seen in him.

They both settled their joint gaze on Reid, looking tired, worn and with unshed tears still in his eyes.

"Do you think he'll recover?"

Rossi knew Hotch was just voicing his fears now, it wasn't really a question for consideration, but the father in him was asking what if he didn't. A parent's worst nightmare, no matter how irrational.

"He has us, the whole team around him," Rossi injected some positivity into his words knowing Hotch's was waning, "We'll get him through this, together."

They share a look, Hotch taking his eyes off the boy anyone with half a brain knew he considered as his own for the first time since a bullet took another life from this world.

"Hotch?"

The name was uttered like a quiet plea rather than a name and both were startled to find Reid standing before them.

"You okay?" Hotch asked quickly standing, offering his hand in support.

Reid nodded, staring but not making a move to accept the gesture.

Rossi watched him closely and could see he was near to losing it again, looking over his shoulder he could see the paramedic putting her things away shaking her head.

"Can you take me home please?"

The request sounded so much like a child Rossi did a double take, but sure enough, no matter how many times he looked, Reid was the only other person in their vicinity. Out the corner of his eye Rossi could tell what Hotch wanted to say, it was what they were both thinking, had already agreed to even, but how to tell Reid there wasn't a chance of them leaving him alone tonight? Probably not tomorrow night either, that wasn't going to be easy.

"Jump in," Hotch nodded, moving round to open the car door.

Dave stayed quiet. He trusted Aaron to know what he was doing. Like Rossi he knew when to fight and when to let Reid believe he's getting his way. Once seated Hotch did up the kids seat belt like it was nothing and shut the car door. They shared another long look, a silent conversation had with a final nod of understanding of the plan, Hotch climbed in the driver's seat and pulled away.

Rossi remained standing outside in the cold watching the SUV disappear down the street when JJ showed up behind him.

"Is that Reid?" She sounded distressed.

Not taking his gaze off the car in the distance, "Hotch is going to stay with him for now." He turned in time to see JJ nod, looking like there was plenty going on behind her eyes but that voicing those jumbled thoughts was going to be near impossible. "Come on," Rossi walked them back inside, "We're going need everyone tonight."

...

Hotch pulled up outside Reid's apartment. They sat in silence, he was looking up at the window but made no move to get out of the car. Before Hotch could ask, Reid sniffed and ducked his head, hiding his eyes.

"Is it weird that I don't think I can be alone right now?"

Memories of Reid upset; his kidnapping, the drug use, Texas, his father, Emily dead then alive, migraines, Florida- they assualt his mind one after the other and don't stop. So many times Reid had been hurting, only a handful where he'd sort or accepted comfort for that hurt. Pleased this was going o be part of that handful Hotch put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb without hesitation.

Pulling up at Rossi's house probably surprised Reid the most, "Don't you need to get home for Jack?"

"He's with his aunt tonight." Hotch confirmed, not getting into how he'd arranged that and when.

Standing in Rossi's expanse of a hallway looking into the living room to find the team waiting for them, like they'd been there a while was also a surprise if the dropped jaw was any indication. If Reid checked the watch on his sleeve he'd see they left his apartment well over an hour ago, however after pulling away from his street the kid had slumped in his seat and finally given into the exhaustion which had been trying to consume him. Hotch had wanted him to get as much rest as possible before a new day dawned and the realization that his life had changed overnight settled in. So he drove around, block after block until eventually he needed to refuel. Parking up at the garage and having Spencer not even stir Hotch went back to the BAU and fetched Reid's go bag from his desk, knowing if he had to give Reid his in his car that he'd look like a kid playing dress up in his dads clothes.

"Hey," Rossi greeted them, offering both a drink.

"Reid go get changed," Hotch instructed, handing Reid his bag and pointing towards the bathroom.

The kid frowned, gave a confused look, but didn't question. Rossi found that familiar action comforting. Somehow Hotch managed to steer the kid in all the right ways. Whether it was silencing him mid-rant, containing his sometimes inappropriate enthusiasm or general taking careof him, Reid rarely questioned Hotch's authority about anything when it was directed at him.

Hotch looked relived to not have a fight on his hands when the bag was taken and Reid made his way quietly upstairs. Clearly despite the kids unwavering respect he'd still doubted how this would go. Rossi clinked the ice in his empty glass, refocusing his attention.

"Right." Hotch breathed and followed Rossi to join the others.

"Where's my baby boy?" Garcia jumped up first, leaving Morgan and JJ sharing the large corner seat, Blake standing behind them pacing by the window.

"Getting changed," Hotch said tensely looking them over one by one, like now the pressure of keeping strong for Reid was temporally lifted, he was feeling just as emotionally drained as the kid.

She hovered looking desperate to leave but waiting for his blessing for some reason.

"Go, Garcia." Hotch nodded, not really knowing what would be best for Reid right now.

He didn't want him smothered but at the same time leaving him alone was probably not a good idea either. It made Garcia happy at least because she ran the second he opened his mouth.

"So how is he really?" Morgan asked once they all settled back down again.

Hotch fell into the sofa. "I'm not sure, he's not spoken about anything yet."

"Oh god," Blake groaned, "this is not how I saw this ending."

"Nobody did." Rossi agreed.

"What are the odds that he'd finally have a girlfriend but then she'd end up being the obsession of a psychopath?" JJ added.

"I bet Reid could actually tell you," Morgan joked

"Let's not can we?" Hotch put a swift end to the talk.

The order wasn't delivered harshly, everybody dealt in different ways and honestly if this wasn't Reid they probably wouldn't be here at all. Correction, if Reid had never been kidnapped by Hankel all those years ago they wouldn't be here now, not like this. Though his drug use had never really made it into a habit he had been forced into taking Dilaudid. Had concealed that information, or tried to at least, from them. Fear had been the driving force back then as it no doubt would be now. Even though the initial use wasn't his fault, the idea, the memory, the craving was still there. No one sets out to be an addict, but that's the nature of the disease. And now here he was, facing another difficult situation where the memory of escape is right there within his grasp. No way was Hotch or anyone else willing to leave Reid at risk like that. They hadn't considered it after faking Emily's death, and they weren't going to make that same mistake again. Not now, not ever.

Garcia reappeared with Reid sequestered at her side, a comforting arm wrapped around his back, looking wide eyed and nervous. His face was no longer tear stained but definitely didn't look good. He slunk into the room and onto the sofa next to Hotch without pause leaning into his unit chiefs side as if he belong there. Hotch didn't blink, raising his arm to rest over the back cushions he allowed Spencer to get as close as he liked to feel comfortable. Safety was what their boy was seeking from them now and no way was anyone in the room going to deny him.

At first things were tense, but then Morgan got the conversation flowing. Eventually everyone relaxed enough to speak freely and though Hotch knew from experience that the fog would fade eventually, the grief and monumental meaning of what had happened settling in, it would take time. Now it was important to relax and enjoy this if that wasn't too a macabre thing to say. Ending this day with a good memory, one not stained with blood and regret for lost opportunities was what he needed most.

That's what family was for.