Hey guys!

Sorry for the delay. I had a change of plan. I actually decided to make Chapter 1 longer.

This said, here is another part of Chapter 1.

Enjoy!

hiiro-chan

LAST TIME

An angel, Lubbock whispered to himself dreamily as he traced every one of Kiyomi's traits with his gaze. With the same slow pace, both teenagers leaned forward as if the invisible thread was pulling on both sides. Lubbock's lips were only an inch away from Kiyomi's.

Even before his fight against the guards, Lubbock had realized that Kiyomi had kept glancing at him with the gaze of a girl in love. Many girls had fallen for Lubbock throughout his whole life. However, the greenhead knew that their feelings were not worthy to return. These girls only fell for Lubbock's sweet talk or for his physical appearance. Kiyomi was not just any girl. She understood Lubbock, and she was purer than any woman who loved Lubbock in this corrupted country.

However, Lubbock wasn't only in love with a beautiful, gentle lady, but had also fallen for his life with her. For how many years had Lubbock yearned for a life similar to that he was living now? Since he enrolled in the army, the greenhead never once stopped worrying about his life. Joining Night Raid didn't help at all. His head was on a bounty, and every time he visited a town for some fun, Lubbock had to keep an eye on his back.

Contrarily, living with Kiyomi, deep in the woods, where no one walked, Lubbock could forget about the danger that his identity could bring him. His life felt like the one he was living before he joined the army, the life of a rich merchant's son. Of course, in terms of material comfort, his past as a rich child won. However, after surviving several near-death situations as a warrior and as an assassin, Lubbock realized that what he appreciated the most about his past life was its peaceful atmosphere. Lubbock's life with Kiyomi reminded him of this feeling of safety, a beauty that an assassin would never possess.

In this new life, his past as a warrior for the Imperial Army and even as a member of Night Raid seemed like a dream that he just woke up from. Lubbock suddenly noticed that he used the word "past" to describe his life as a part of Night Raid. Maybe, it is my past, now...

Through half-lidded eyes, Lubbock admired the innocent blue-grey eyes. Strangely, their color gradually grew paler and turned to lilac. The beautiful locks also seemed to lose their cool blonde and their wavy texture. As if by magic, they transformed into a silver ponytail, which was dangling behind a sturdy woman's back. Though the lady was expressionless, Lubbock could feel an aura of confidence and authority.

Miss Najenda... The light purple orbs were staring at Lubbock. Though the illusion of Miss Najenda didn't spread anger nor disappointment, Lubbock felt deeply ashamed under the gaze.

Strange. Since he could remember, Lubbock had always flirted with girls. Of course, he had never gone as far as kissing one of them. But what is the difference between kissing a girl and flirting with or peeking on one? The greenhead had never felt guilty about his second nature of a perverted womanizer.

Most importantly, it wasn't as if Lubbock and Miss Najenda were dating. The greenhead even doubted that his dear boss considered him as a potential lover. So, why did Lubbock have the impression that he was cheating on Miss Najenda?

The least expected of all memories came to Lubbock. He remembered one of his training trips with Tatsumi. Perhaps it was because Lubbock had been rejoiced by his past days with the brown-haired boy, the greenhead had decided to confide his love about Najenda to Tatsumi. After hearing Lubbock's tale, the brownhead had suggested his partner to stop peeking on other women if Lubbock truly loved Miss Najenda. Without second thoughts, the greenhead had considered the suggestion foolish, but, now, Lubbock couldn't stop thinking about Tatsumi's words.

It's all your fault, Tatsumi. I can't even enjoy myself a bit. Talking about Tatsumi, he was probably dead or married to Esdeath, which was no different from the former. Lubbock knew that there was a slight chance that his brown-haired partner was saved, but tried to not feel sorry for Tatsumi. After all, the guy always got out of trouble, mostly by his luck. Moreover, Lubbock could have his own harem at Night Raid – if the greenhead ever returned. Most importantly, Lubbock had other problems to worry about.

"Do you love someone?" Kiyomi asked as if she had noticed Lubbock's hesitation.

Lubbock wished that Kiyomi had used a less understanding tone. Because the lady didn't show any hint of pain nor of hatred, the greenhead regretted hesitating before his first kiss. He knew well that the girl loved him and, yet, all he could think of was Miss Najenda, who had probably already forgotten about him.

Lubbock's first reaction was to deny, but, as he opened his mouth to speak, the greenhead couldn't let his words come out. Maybe, he couldn't lie to someone who had nurtured a complete stranger back to health or, maybe, Kiyomi had the same smile as Lubbock's late maid. The greenhead ignored the reason, but only held on to the realization that he couldn't lie to Kiyomi.

But I can't admit the truth either... Caught in his dilemma, Lubbock dared not meet Kiyomi's gaze.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, words automatically coming out of his mouth. The greenhead couldn't remember the last time he apologized this sincerely and this unexpectedly.

For a second, Lubbock feared that Kiyomi, with the realization of her unrequited love, would shatter like a glass doll. However, the cool blonde haired woman replied with her typical gentle tone, "No, I should be the one apologizing. I had no idea and I brought you here..."

Exactly. You had not idea, so this is not your fault... Lubbock couldn't understand Kiyomi's words. She loved Lubbock and she tried her best to help him. As for the greenhead, he knew well where his true love lay, but still let Kiyomi bring him to the forest and – almost – kiss him. So, why is Kiyomi the one apologizing? Why couldn't she just slap Lubbock across the face? It wasn't fair.

Lubbock tried to find the right reply, but couldn't. More than ever, he wanted to just melt into the ground or vaporize in the air. Surely, Kiyomi would have been better off had she never met Lubbock.

"So, about the person you love..." Kiyomi interrupted the awkward silence. Still deep in thoughts, Lubbock absentmindly stared at the source of the voice. "Ah... I mean, if you don't mind..."

"I met her around five years ago..." Lubbock decided to give Kiyomi the most loyal version of his story, without naming anyone or any organization. He only added slight modifications to conceal his past as a rebel. The greenhead knew that the truth would hurt Kiyomi. However, a lie was worse. After all, Kiyomi had probably already guessed half of his story. Moreover, as much as he wanted to deny, the blonde haired lady was one of the few people to whom Lubbock couldn't lie.

"I fled from the enemies, you and Akira found me in the forest, and here I am," Lubbock finished his tale after a few minutes.

"So, she doesn't know where you are now?"

"She probably thinks that I'm dead. I think this is best."

"Why are you saying this?" Kiyomi asked in her usual tone.

"She is better off without me. I pathetically fled the enemy. Someone like me is only a burden."

"Is this the only reason?" Lubbock understood that Kiyomi was talking about why he chose to not return.

Sometimes, Lubbock wished that Kiyomi could read less into his thoughts. However, he knew that the woman was right. For all the past weeks, Lubbock had used the excuse that he would burden Night Raid. Since his escape from Syura, the greenhead had been wondering what prompted him to follow Miss Najenda all these years. Initially, he had thought that he wanted Miss Najenda to feel proud of him. However, now, Lubbock knew that "feeling proud" wasn't precise enough. He didn't want his boss to praise him as a brave underling or as a true warrior – or rather, Lubbock wanted more. The sad truth was, even with all these years, the most significant words Miss Najenda had given the boy was "Good job", two simple words that she would tell any assassin working under her. Lubbock couldn't blame Miss Najenda. Being the one who had stayed by her side the longest, the greenhead noticed that his boss had never shown any – romantic – interest toward anyone. Maybe Miss Najenda will just never love anyone... Maybe everything that I did was just...

"I am just an underling to her."

"But how do you feel about her?"

"I love her," Lubbock answered bluntly and regretted saying these words to Kiyomi even though she didn't seem to be hurt. Suddenly, the greenhead remembered the words he told Tatsumi after Lubbock finished his little "life story". The greenhead had said something similar to that he was fine as long as he could fight alongside Miss Najenda. Lubbock didn't care if his love was unrequited. How could a few peaceful days in the woods make him lose sight of his devotion?

Miss Najenda may think that I am only a coward, but what does this change? I swore to her that I would walk through Hell with her if I had to. Lubbock lifted his head and stared firmly in front of him. I will not go back on my words.

"This is the answer." Kiyomi's conclusion confirmed Lubbock's initial beliefs – the same ones that he had held on for five years, until just a few weeks ago.

Once again, Lubbock saw the maid through Kiyomi's gentle smile, the smile of an older sister. Yes, an older sister... the greenhead realized. An impulse pushed him to firmly hug Kiyomi.

"Thank you," Lubbock whispered to the surprised lady. He felt her arms tightening around his back. Though his heart filled with renewed determination, it also hurt.

NIGHT RAID SECRET BASE, THREE YEARS AGO

"Miss Najenda?"

Her mind clouded by the effect of alcohol, Najenda turned her head to the doorway of the dining room. She could faintly distinguish the contour of a young boy shorter than the average warrior or even the average man.

Lubbock... The boy was once a powerful merchant's son and had abandoned his position and even his loyalty toward the Emperor to follow her. When Lubbock had sworn to follow her even on the road of rebels, Najenda couldn't deny her surprise. She had always thought that the higher class members all rejoiced from the Capital's corruption and would never betray the Emperor – or rather, the Prime Minister – who tolerated inhuman acts for the nobles and the merchants' benefits. Perhaps, not all young princes were as spoiled and as corrupted as Najenda had thought.

"I was just tasting this new wine," Najenda tried to find an excuse. She couldn't let her subordinate discover that she was in this state. "You want some?" she added, trying to divert the boy's attention.

Though Najenda could feel the boy's hesitation, she knew that he wouldn't refuse. None of her surbordinates dared to. She suddenly wished that sometimes – just sometimes – they would forget that she was their leader.

Najenda suddenly remembered the boy's leg that was in a cast. During his last the mission, the teenager had broken his left leg. Tonight, all the members of Night Raid were out for a week-long mission, and, despite the boy's desire to join them, Najenda had ordered him to stay behind to heal. This said, they were only two at the base.

"Why don't you sit down?" Najenda's sentence sounded like an order as she put a hand on the empty next to her, on the sofa. She felt that even though the boy was hesitant, he was also rejoiced. Though Najenda knew it was arrogant of her to admit it, her subordinates would all feel blessed if they could sit next to the powerful warrior who led them and be served a glass of wine by her. She guessed that Lubbock felt the same respect.

Najenda felt the cushion next to hers slightly bounce as Lubbock sat. She realized that he was staring at her – precisely at her chest. How could she forget? The boy had always been a public pervert. However, Najenda was feeling too down to react to her subordinate's indecency. She just handed him a full glass as the boy thanked her. He had the proud expression of a man who had just achieved his greatest dream.

Najenda thought that the boy was overreacting, even for a soldier who admired his leader. Well, Lubbock was young. If she remembered right, he had just reached sixteen. And I am twenty-two... Yes, the boy was just a child.

After a moment where both had been drinking silently, Lubbock's expression grew as serious as when he had just discovered his boss drinking.

"This isn't about the wine," the boy tried. Najenda knew that despite the fact that Lubbock was the youngest member of Night Raid, he was an experienced assassin and observer. He was especially skillful at reading women.

Najenda noticed that Lubbock's gaze travelled to the unscrolled letter on the tea table in front of the sofa. The message was from one of the leaders of the Revolutionary Army. The man, a strong warrior, expressed his condolences for... for my family... The day she had sworn to become a warrior, Najenda had promised herself to never become her old self again – a sensitive and fragile version of her. However, now, the pain in her chest made her want to shed tears for the first time after years.

Probably, Esdeath or one of her subordinate had unveiled the information that contrarily to popular belief, Najenda wasn't "killed in action" and had joined the rebels. Inevitably, Najenda's family was executed by the Imperial Army, because of her betrayal. The younger sister who had looked up to her and her parents who were so proud of their elder daughter were gone, gone because of Najenda's choice.

When the silverhead had chosen to join the Revolutionary Army, she knew that one day or the other, the government would react. However, she had believed that there was a way out. No, she had convinced herself that this way, which she more or less believed in, existed. Najenda needed to fight against the Capital's inhuman acts. She couldn't bear seeing another innocent destroyed by the nobles' selfishness.

But weren't her family members also innocent ones whom she needed to protect? What mistake did Najenda make? Should she have joined the Revolutionary Army or kept quiet about the Imperial Army's corruption?

Najenda realized that Lubbock was observing her all this time. He should have guessed her thoughts. Usually, Najenda would try her best to wear a mask in front of her subordinates. However, for some reasons, tonight, next to the one who had fought alongside her the longest, she didn't feel this need.

"Lubbock, did I make the right choice?" Rarely, Najenda was this straightforward. I see, it's the alcohol... or maybe, something else. She wasn't sure anymore; she didn't need to know the reasons, now.

After a moment, Lubbock spoke with a surprisingly mature tone, "My father used to tell me that there is no right choice. For every decision we make, we will meet great sacrifices..."

Najenda observed the young boy next to her. She had never thought that he could take this attitude and speak these words. Najenda had always had the impression that Lubbock took both respect and obediency to the extreme. Though she had told him several times, the boy couldn't take off the "Miss" from her name. Even after two years, Lubbock acted as if he had just met Najenda. Moreover, contrarily to all other subordinates, Lubbock never directly questionned Najenda, even when he had divergent opinions. Sometimes, the silverhead had wished that the boy would loosen up a bit.

Tonight, Lubbock was different. For the first time, Najenda heard him speak his mind without his typical obedient tone. Najenda felt like she was talking to an old acquaintance, to a lifelong friend.

"... The importance is, we need to believe in the future that our choice will bring."

The future? Najenda believed in an ideal country, not the unrealistic utopia where everyone practiced true altruism, but a less corrupted and less cruel world. She had had the same idea when she had joined the Revolutionary Army. Yes, she would create a world where a relative equality existed, where freedom of speech was accepted, and where people like her wouldn't suffer from the loss of their families.

Now, the best she could do for her parents and for her sister was to create this world where their reincarnations would rejoice. She didn't if it was grief, the alcohol, or some other cause, but Najenda could feel her eyes becoming wet. She did her best to hold back the tears and thank Lubbock in her authoritative tone.

Lubbock, she thought without realizing that a joyful smile was appearing on her face, you are a worthy comrade... no, you are a true friend. Yes, the only genuine friend she had.

NIGHT RAID SECRET BASE, PRESENT

Najenda emptied another glass. Was it her third or her fourth? She couldn't remember. No matter how much she drank, the liquor didn't seem to fill the emptiness in her heart.

Lubbock... How much more alcohol did she need to keep this name out of her mind? The only rest Najenda could get was when she was on missions, when she could forget all other matters in this world. However, once break time came, the name haunted her. The memories approached her like unstoppable waves on a beach. They caught her despite her efforts to escape, and they slowly drown her.

Another glass. Najenda felt tired – so tired that she wanted to lie down on her couch and close her eyes. However, Najenda knew that once she closed her eyelids, she would see the boy with green hair. She needed more liquor. When was the last time that Najenda tried to drink herself to sleep?

Am I becoming like Leone? Not exactly. Leone drank for the joy of drinking, but Najenda did not seek pleasure, but numbness.

How could the death of a single comrade affect her so much? For the past years, she had lost so many comrades, but she had never drunk so much for any of them. Every time Night Raid had a break, Najenda would soak herself with alcohol. True. Lubbock was the one who had stayed by her for the longest period of time. Though he had sometimes acted arrogantly or indecently, Lubbock had been devoted to the Army – before Najenda had decided to join the rebels – then to Night Raid. Lubbock had persevered in his missions and, before Leone came, was the only one who could lighten the atmosphere. How she missed his humor and his optimism! How could she ever heal from this loneliness?

However, loneliness wasn't the only source of her pain. Najenda remembered the day when she had eavesdropped on a conversation between Lubbock, Tatsumi, and Maine. At first, the leader was only passing by the room where the three were standing. Nevertheless, Najenda had stopped at the mention of her name. Lubbock had been asking advice from the couple for a love confession to his boss. (A/N: This actually happened in the original story.)

When the greenhead had sworn to follow her as her soldier, Najenda had guessed that he was just one of the myriad of rich boys who thought that being a warrior was full of adventure. Once their dreams were shattered by the hardships of an army life, these pampered princes would return to their previous lives, without second thoughts.

However, despite the hardships of the battlefield, Lubbock never once renounced. At first, Najenda had thought he was loyal to the Imperial Army and the Capital, both allies to merchants and nobles. Nevertheless, when the greenhead had agreed to follow Najenda to join the rebels, the leader had realized that she was wrong. Since then, she had been wondering what was the source of this devotion, what had prompted a prince who possessed and could acquire everything he desired to abandon his life of extravagance and to betray his greatest ally, the Capital.

When Najenda had heard Lubbock's conversation, she had finally discovered the source of his loyalty. For all these years, he had been devoted to her, not even to her beliefs of an ideal country, but to Najenda, the woman he had loved.

Najenda remembered that Leone, who was eavesdropping with her, had asked her boss' opinion. Najenda had known that her most important goal was to achieve the dream of the oppressed people. Without much thought, she had answered that it would be nice to be in a romantic relationship after all was over.

Later, when Najenda had rethought about Leone's question, she had realized that she wouldn't mind if Lubbock had confessed to her before all was over. Najenda still wasn't sure what her answer would be, but she had been waiting for his question, waiting all this time.

The leader couldn't understand why she had been so eager. However, now, whatever she thought had no importance, because, no matter how long she waited, she would never hear Lubbock's question.

Could she have done otherwise? Najenda had asked the same question after her family's death. It had also been the only other time she had drunk so much. However, contrarily to now, Lubbock had been there.