Written for the Rebirth of the Daily Weird Prompt Thing (prompt: Dialogue - "what are you laughing at?"/"Your face"

Professor Longbottom

"This really is your first time out, isn't it?" Seamus looked amusedly at Neville, who was staring around the wizard bar as if it was the first time he'd ever been exposed to magic.

When Neville didn't answer his question, Seamus rolled his eyes. "Come on." He grabbed his friend by the arm and dragged him over to two empty stools.

"Two Firewhiskeys," Seamus called to the barkeep.

Familiar with Seamus' presence in the place, he nodded.

"I come here with Dean all the time," Seamus informed Neville. "But with his baby on the way and all… I thought you should come out instead. Nothing like waking up the next morning with a mighty hangover.

Neville's eyes widened. "Hangover?" he asked, glancing nervously around the room. It wasn't the most pleasant of settings, and many of its occupants seemed to already have had three too many shots of Firewhiskey.

Not to mention it was in Knockturn Alley.

The place was eerie, if Neville was to tell the truth. It had a dark edge to it with its medieval décor and quiet atmosphere. He had no idea why two people as friendly as Seamus and Dean would hang out in such a desolate place.

Turning back to the man who had brought him, he was put off to find Seamus was laughing at him.

Blushing, he asked, "What's so funny?"

Seamus gawaffed, almost doubling over with amusement. "Your face," he responded.

Neville quickly closed his mouth. Despite feeling mightily uncomfortable, he was not going to let Seamus tease him because of it.

Two Firewhiskeys appeared in front of them, and when Seamus picked the shot glass up and downed it in one hit, Neville did the same.

Seamus was almost on the floor now, unable to control the tears that were rolling down his face. Neville, clearly having not tried the potent drink before, had spat the shot out to a poor, unsuspecting witch on her way to the bar.

Put off by such a disturbance, and sending a blushing Neville a filthy look, she magicked the drink off and huffed past.

"Oh, Merlin, Nev," Seamus said. "I don't need a drink to have a good time with you."

Feeling miserable before the night had even started, Neville slumped into the stool with an elbow resting on the table. Why had Seamus invited him in the first place? It wasn't like they were friends and spoke every day. He only ever saw Seamus these days, because of Dean, who worked as an Auror with he, Harry and Ron.

He supposed he was the target when the person Seamus truly wanted to go out with declined for baby reasons.

While Seamus ordered another Firewhiskey, Neville stuck to the Butterbeer. He didn't want to drench another woman in alcohol and spit.

"So, Neville, tell me… how's Auror life treating you?"

Neville's cheeks tinged pink. "Oh, er, it's hard," he confessed, staring down at his hands.

"No kidding." Seamus downed his third shot. "Exactly why I avoided it. Not my thing, catching all those stray Death Eaters still walking. I'll leave that up to somebody else."

"Oh, in training, we don't do that," Neville said. "We are still learning."

"Hm, yeah, still not my thing."

Neville agreed. It wasn't really his thing, either. "You know, Seamus, McGonagall offered me a position as Herbology teacher at Hogwarts."

Seamus' eyes widened. "Oh, really?"

Neville nodded.

"But you're an Auror."

"And I'm terrible." He had met with the old Gryffindor head of house only a week ago, something that McGonagall had thought would be good for him after the war. She had asked him how he was going, and when he had confessed that he was considering quitting, a moment of empathy had washed over her. Afterwards, she had proceeded to tell him that Pomona Sprout was retiring at the end of the school year and they were after a new Herbology teacher.

The thought of teaching children terrified Neville, too, but not as much as putting his life at risk every day to catch Death Eaters who were refusing to comply with the new order.

"Don't say that." Seamus waved a hand at him. "I have no doubt you're a great Auror."

Neville shrugged. "I think I might enjoy teaching better."

Seamus called for another Firewhiskey, and when it arrived, he drank it, wiped his mouth, and stared at Neville intently. "So, you're going to accept?"

The answer to that was unknown to Neville, but he shrugged at Seamus. "I'm thinking about it."

It had taken four of them to affect Seamus, but it had become apparent to Neville now that the Irishman had finally been hit by the Firewhiskeys. He slapped Neville on the arm. "Well, good for you, Nev. I'd definitely be delighted to send my children to Hogwarts so they could be taught by you."

"When you have them." Neville grinned.

Seamus waved him away. "Don't worry," he said, "I'm gonna ask Lavender to marry me probably after New Year, and maybe after the wedding, we'll pop one out, yeah?"

Neville smiled. "Alright," he said.

Seamus sobered slightly. "But I'm serious, Nev. If that's what you really want, then do it. There's no point in being somewhere you're not happy, just because you think it's the right thing to do. We always asked you about the Herbology stuff while we were there, didn't we? You'd be great."

Neville was now flushing a bright purple at the praise. Drunk or not, Seamus was still saying what he was.

"Alright," Seamus said, looking around the quiet bar, "let's move on to the next one. You finished the Butterbeer?"

Nodding at his half-drunk drink, the pair of them left Knockturn Alley and headed back up to Diagon Alley, much to Neville's relief.

It wasn't that he didn't want to be an Auror, he just didn't think he could. Seamus was right; he'd be much happier being back at Hogwarts, in a place that he knew.

He was going to be Professor Longbottom.

I hope you enjoyed. I've been reading a lot of Seamus lately, so he was stuck in my head. Please leave a review if you read it. It would be much appreciated!