How to get what you want

Chapter 4: Don't change on me

Three weeks after the kiss.

They were doing the laundry together. Jude went through the pockets before Zero sorted the clothes. Zero was having way too much fun. Maybe that feeling would wear out eventually, but right now it was still in full swing. Doing stuff with Jude, however ordinary and even boring, felt great.

'You've got a bucket list?' Jude asked, holding up a piece of paper. Zero glanced at it and swallowed.

'Oh, that?' he replied, as cool as a cucumber. 'Those are some of my goals.'

'What's this? AJ? What does that stand for?' Jude inquired. He caught Zero's eye. Zero considered lying – because he really hadn't planned on doing this so soon – but quickly decided against it.

'Ask Jude,' he answered.

'Ask Jude?' Jude repeated, obviously curious. 'Ask me what?'

'That has to do with the next entry.'

Jude examined the list again.

'Which is... GM. And what does that mean?'

'Get married.'

A lengthy silence followed during which Zero nervously studied Jude. At first, Jude stared at the two capital letters for a moment. Then he looked up at Zero. Back at the big G and M again. Back at Zero. Computing. Computing. Finally, Jude seemed to have taken in the information. He smiled; cautiously optimistic, but unable to fully enjoy the moment just yet.

'You want to marry me?' he asked. That Jude needed confirmation just about killed Zero.

'Yeah. I've gotta admit, though, that I don't know if we can in California. I mean, is this the right state for that?' Zero wondered.

'This is a very good state for that,' Jude responded, smiling in earnest now. Jude's happiness in turn made Zero feel fantastic. He dropped the shirt he'd been clutching while waiting for Jude's reaction and pulled the other man closer. They made out like they had during their first proper time: in a frenzy of lust and joyful confusion. Addicted to each other from the first kiss. In between kisses, Zero painted a picture of their future.

'And I want to buy a house together and I want to have, honestly, no kids, but maybe like a dog or something?' he suggested while sucking on Jude's neck. Jude laughed and pushed him back slightly. He waved around the crumpled piece of paper.

'Shouldn't there be a BR on here too? You know, buy ring?' he teased, clearly joking and expecting nothing. Zero smirked.

'I'm way ahead of you,' he answered. Moving as if in a dream, Zero retrieved the box from its hiding place. He handed it to Jude, who looked shocked. Zero motioned for him to open it, which Jude hesitantly did. He goggled at the silver ring. Expectantly, the basketball player waited to see how his former agent would handle this. Without a word, Jude took the ring out of the box and slid it around his finger. It was a perfect fit.

'It fits!' he exclaimed, surprised. 'How did you know…?'

'Lionel.'

'Lionel?'

'I asked her for a favour. I convinced her that it was as much for you as it was for me,' Zero explained.

'You went shopping for an engagement ring with Lionel?' Jude marvelled, apparently trying to visualise it. Zero shrugged. Neither the best afternoon of his life nor the worst. Lionel knew her jewellery and her Jude.

'We've only been dating for a couple of weeks,' Jude suddenly objected. It was such a Jude thing to say - while rocking the engagement ring, no less - that Zero had to keep himself from laughing.

'I don't know if you've noticed but I haven't actually popped the question yet,' he pointed out. Jude made a move as if he was going to take off the ring and give it back. Zero stopped him.

'No, keep it. It looks good on you. If you want to, that is.'

'Alright,' Jude easily agreed. 'So, you haven't asked me. But you've got a ring. You've definitely got a plan. It's on here in between your other goals, which… Is the list in random order?'

Zero shook his head, smiling.

'No, it's in order of importance.'

Jude consulted the list for the umpteenth time. When he looked up, he had that same hopeful expression on his face again.

'And I'm at the top? Asking me and marrying me is the most important thing?'

'What's the point of everything else without you?' Zero said. He meant it too. In response, Jude did a little, impatient nod, all 'yeah, yeah, I'm acknowledging that what you just said is super sweet and I share the feeling, but can we get back to me being an insecure mess?'

'So, I wasn't supposed to find this list?' Jude suggested. 'You letting me know all this was an accidental, spur of the moment thing?'

'It was, yeah. But I have been thinking about it. About asking you. A lot. All my life I've had to deal with people who try to make me feel like I'm nothing. You, on the other hand, go out of your way to make sure I know that I matter. That is the most amazing feeling. You are the most amazing person. I love you, Jude, and I don't believe in wasting time. I want to spend my life with you, so I figure: why wait?' Zero theorised. Ever the contrarian, Jude protested.

'Wait. Are you proposing to me right now?' he inquired. I guess I am, Zero realised. Three weeks after going public with our relationship. Is this a mistake? No, it isn't. There should be a word for the opposite of a mistake, because whatever that word would be that is what this is. Absolutely right in every way.

'I am,' Zero admitted. 'I wanna be all you ever dreamed. Because you are. Let's get married. What do you think?'

'I'm already wearing the ring: what do you think my answer is?' Jude replied. They smiled at each other with tears in their eyes.

'You've gotta say it,' Zero insisted. Jude rolled his eyes. Emotionally affected as he was, it didn't have the desired effect.

'Yes. Of course I want to marry you. I love you,' Jude stated with such sincerity and conviction that all Zero could do was wrap him into his arms and hold on. This is the life. Next: a house. A dog. And you and me and forever.

The end.