Love: a fickle thing, something tender and sweet while being cold and deadly. Not something that should ever be misconstrued or misunderstood, and something that should be treated with respect when presented the opportunity. Something that should be taken seriously, regardless of the identities of the giver and recipient. Something that, for all intents and purposes, I had assumed I was done with.
And yet.
The fact that I am standing here, currently in a position where I must respond to a confession of love, is undeniable.
The fact that I am standing here, unable to fully understand how I ended up here, in a position where I hold great power, is undeniable.
The fact that I am standing here, having to respond to a confession of love by my teacher, is undeniable.
At first I couldn't believe it. In fact, I still can't. This sort of thing is only supposed to happen in those weird anime and manga! This is real life! Teacher-student relationships don't really exist!
But my eyes and ears don't lie, and what they are telling me is that Hiratsuka-sensei is standing in front of me, looking me straight in the eyes, waiting for my answer.
"Well, Hikigaya?"
My eyes meet hers, and she looks almost resigned... As if she had battled within herself to come to the conclusion that a confession was the only way to go, only to understand that the outcome would inevitably be a rejection.
Or would it?
I had never before seen Hiratsuka-sensei in any sort of romantic light, and yet maybe that was just because I had subconsciously dismissed the thought because I thought it was impossible. I mean, it isn't unreasonable to assume that a teacher would never love a student, especially because she could very well be fired if anyone knew about this conversation.
And there are certainly signs of chemistry between us. Anyone watching would notice, from the banter that we exchange, to the similarities in our personalities. I've even said that if we were the same age, I would have fallen helplessly in love with her. Not to mention, she is beautiful.
I'd never really seen her as a potential love interest merely because of the circumstances between us.
But if she's making the first step, am I okay with this?
It's just too weird to imagine right now! I know I may be highly intelligent, but it doesn't mean I'm able to respond to stuff like this right away!
"Uh... Um..."
Contrary to what I may have thought, Hiratsuka-sensei just laughs. It takes me by surprise, but I stay quiet while she finishes.
"Ahaha, that's just the sort of reaction I would expect from you, Hikigaya! Well, not that I can blame you though. I'm sure this is all very startling." She stands up and grabs her bag. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home."
At first, just like the rest of the conversation, what she says doesn't quite register in my head. And when it does, the reality of what she's suggesting fills me with dread. I have to take a ride home with a teacher who just confessed to me? What kind of situation is this?!
"Um, Sensei, about that..."
"What is it?" She's almost nonchalantly gathering her belongings and donning a light beige coat.
I shift my weight uncomfortably. "Well, I could always just walk home, or something. You don't need to go out of your way."
Aha! Now I can seem considerate and avoid going home with her!
But she just smirks. "Oh, you're not getting out of it that easily. As a teacher, it's my responsibility to ensure that my students are safe, and it's too late for you to be walking out alone, Hikigaya."
"But..."
"No buts." She smirks. "I insist."
I gulp down a breath as she grabs me by the arm and leads me towards the schools exit.
"Alright, alright, I get it! I can walk myself."
My arm is released from her scarily strong vicegrip and I rub it gently, walking behind her towards the staff parking lot.
"Don't worry, Hikigaya. I didn't grab you that hard."
It was pretty damn hard, you know! But maybe that's just me and my loner lack of strength. "Yeah, yeah."
Once we arrive outside, the air is still chilly, the last remnants of winter still residing in the air. I let out a breath, which escapes in a visible puff of white. I shiver slightly, rubbing my hands together.
"Hikigaya, you don't have a coat?"
"Didn't expect to be staying this late, so I didn't think I needed one."
There's a short pause as I step in front of Hiratsuka-sensei towards her familiar red sports car, only to be followed by a slight thud on my shoulders and a sudden feeling of warmth.
"Huh...?"
I turn to see her without her jacket on, only to realize that I'm wearing her jacket. "Wait a minute, you'll get cold..."
I try to take the jacket off but a firm grip keeps it on my shoulders. "I'll be fine, Hikigaya. Besides, the car is right there, and I can turn on the heater."
Well, she's got a point. "In that case, thanks."
She lets out a breath and smiles, watching the puff disappear into the sky, the sunset fading into the horizon, before turning her attention to me. "Don't mention it."
Her car beeps and I open the door to the passenger side, stepping in while she sits herself in the driver's seat.
I settle in, preferring to gaze out the window rather than engage in any sort of conversation in fear of the awkward tension between us right now. As the car starts silently, Hiratsuka-sensei coughs lightly, in what I assume is an attempt to break the awkward silence.
Trust me, I think it would be much better to just leave things silent!
"So, Hikigaya, how are you?"
I look over to her to find her looking quite normal. Is she even feeling the same tension that I am? Surely she must be, seeing as she's the one who confessed in the first place! Sure doesn't look like it though.
"W-well, I guess things are going fine..."
"Things with the Service Club okay?"
Why is she asking about that? I mean, I suppose it's customary, but wasn't she joking before about how I might like them? "Things are fine, I guess."
"Get any chocolate today?"
"Y-yeah, I did..." What's with these questions?
She makes a small smile. "Ah, good for you. Youth must be nice..."
The car starts slowing down as we enter a few winding turns that lead to my house. We're almost there.
But wait, why did she say that it must be nice? Didn't she just give me some chocolate?
"Um, well, I guess, but why are you talking like nothing happened?"
Hiratsuka-sensei chuckles lightly. "You sure get straight to the point, don't you, Hikigaya? Well, I must say that that is one of your more charming points."
I can feel my face heating up. Calm down, it's just a compliment! Nothing more...
She continues. "I guess it's time to get back to reality, that's all. There's no point in deluding myself anymore. Your silence was the only answer I needed. Don't worry, I'll make sure to pretend that this never happened, if you could do the same."
The car pulls to a stop in front of my house.
"And don't worry, I'll..." She pauses, and gives me a rueful smile. "I know you'd worry, so please don't. It'll only make it harder to move on."
Tears are welling in the corners of her eyes, and I'm at a loss for words. "Hiratsuka-sensei..."
"Just go. I'd hate to keep your parents waiting."
She gives me a light push and blinks a few times, trying to clear away the tears. "Come on, I can't wait forever..."
I step out, stunned and my mind blank. What am I supposed to say? Or do? And somehow, I don't think that last line was simply meant for me getting out of the car. It feels like there's more to it, but I don't know how to respond...
"Goodbye, Hikigaya."
"G-goodnight, Hiratsuka-sensei..."
What am I doing?! This is the worst! There's no sort of closure, and it's my fault. This sort of open ended conclusion, I hate that. But before I can even try to amend for my silence, she gives one last smile and drives away. As the taillights disappear around the corner, I have no choice but to go inside.
Dammit. How did it come to this?
Why is it bothering me so much?
Even now, in bed, hours later, I still can't get her off my mind. It's not fair, not at all.
She told me not to worry, and yet that's all I'm doing.
She told me it was okay, and yet that's the last thing I think it is.
She told me to pretend it never happened, and yet that's exactly what I'm failing to do.
Do I care about her? Clearly I do, I'm not naive enough to believe that I don't. If I didn't, I wouldn't be this worried about her. But is that care the same as love? I mean, I've already said before that there is a chemistry between us that is nearly unparalleled by any of my other friendships.
But is that what Hiratsuka-sensei is to me? A friend?
Obviously, she's my teacher, but has it been that fact alone that has prevented my feelings from developing for her? Even now, when she was the one to confess, and I was handed the opportunity, is her status simply too much for me? So much that it is impossible for me to love her in that way?
No, I don't think it is, because she won't be my teacher forever, and I'm certain that if she wasn't, this choice would be much simpler.
Then is that it? The fact that we are separated by the boundaries of a social standard is all that's keeping me from accepting her feelings?
I think...
I think that might be it.
There is just so much between us, that if we were the same age, I'm certain we'd already be lovers. So then surely, all that's keeping me from loving her in that way is the stigma of a teacher-student relationship.
If that's the case, then I know what I'll do. It may not be the best solution, but it's the only one I can think of...
I drift off to sleep, Hiratsuka-sensei's smiling face still floating around my mind.
I walk into the classroom to find it mostly empty. It makes sense. It's still quite early, and most students are probably on their way here right now. I guess I was just too anxious to get here today. After all, I've found my answer.
I go to my desk and do my standard head in my arms maneuver to avoid talking to people as they start filing into the classroom. Various groups start forming and they begin chatting noisily, seemingly full of energy even though it's early in the morning.
Before long, the class seems about full and the bell rings, the familiar chime ringing through the entire school. I pull my head up, steeling myself for another day at school. I suppose it is a Saturday, so it's only a half day, but still a day of school nonetheless.
The front door slides open, and Hiratsuka-sensei steps in with a stack of papers and a canister of some hot drink. She sets both items down on her desk before addressing the class. She looks out over the students, and yet seems to linger her gaze on me for longer than usual.
Well, I can't blame her, considering what happened.
"Alright class, let's begin."
The class rep stands up. "Rise!"
"Alright, don't forget to study for exams if you haven't started already, and be sure to finish the reading for Monday."
Students begin leaving the classroom in their cliques, chatting excitedly about how they're going to hang out or do whatever it is socialites do on their weekends. Hiratsuka-sensei on the other hand leaves the room rather quickly, leaving to what I can only assume is her office in the staff room.
Having had the entire day to steel myself, I barely hesitate as I stand up and leave the classroom, following after her. I'm sure Yuigahama is wondering where I'm going, but I don't really care right now. I can explain it to her once I get back. For now, I need to settle this.
I make my way to the staff room and knock on the closed door.
"Who is it?" Hiratsuka-sensei's muffled voice projects through the door.
"I-it's me."
Nothing is said after that but the sound of footsteps is quickly followed by the door sliding opened. "Hikigaya? What are you doing here? Do you need something? Come in."
She ushers me in and closes the door, before taking a seat and gesturing for me to do the same.
"So, can I help you?"
She sure is pretending that nothing happened, isn't she? Not that I can blame her... I barely gave her any sort of answer yesterday, so it would be only safe to assume that she took it as a rejection.
But...
"I wanted to talk to you about... About yesterday."
"A-ah, I told you not to concern yourself with that..."
She's way too stubborn! Can't she see I'm trying to give her an answer?
"I've been thinking about it, and I want to give you an answer."
She waves her hand. "There's no need, I already told you I'd forget about it, didn't I?"
Come on! Don't make this harder than it has to be!
"About that, you see-"
"Just give it up, Hikigaya. You're only making it worse..."
She keeps cutting me off! Well, two can play at that game!
"Come on, you should get going to the Service Club, I'm sure they-"
"If you're fine with someone like me..."
I cut her off abruptly, and with that one line she goes silent, her eyes revealing her pain and hope, as if she doesn't want to believe that this is possible.
But it is.
"If you're fine with someone like me, then once I graduate-"
Before I realized it, she had stood up and wrapped me in an embrace. What is she doing?! Can't she tell I'm trying to confess?!
"Stop there, Hikigaya... Don't you know? Teacher-student relations are strictly forbidden."
Well who's the one giving me a damn hug right now?!
"Oi, just hear me out... Once I graduate, if you can wait, then I'll be your lover."
Kyaa! That was embarrassing! That sounded so much better in my head!
But it worked on her, it seems. She pulls away, smiling, a light in her eyes that I haven't seen in a long while.
"Is that so? In that case, I think I can wait..."
I finally let out a sigh of relief. This stubborn woman, always causing me problems... And yet, somehow I can't deny my attraction to her.
"I can wait, but I might need a bit of investment to last me down the road."
Wait, what nonsense is she spouting now?
"Investment?"
Before I can react, she pulls me in again and plants her lips on mine, her soft scent wafting past me. It's almost as if time freezes, and I can barely comprehend what's happening.
And yet as soon as it starts, it's over and she pulls away, leaving me completely stunned.
"I... Wait... Uh..."
She smiles and giggles a little to herself. "Oh, what's this? The great Hikigaya, finally losing his composure?"
I feel my face burning right now, and I try my best to scowl. "It's your fault, you know!"
She wraps me in her arms once more, and for the first time I can't help but think that this just feels so comforting, so right.
"Hehe, I know... But thank you, Hikigaya. I'm looking forward to your graduation."
I let out a sigh. What an ordeal, and what a troublesome woman. And yet, somehow, I don't think it'll be that bad.
"Yeah, me too."
-End-
A/N: Thanks for reading my two-shot story about Valentines Day! I know that this second part is a bit (a lot) late, but I hope you guys can enjoy it nonetheless.
I've been quite busy, but now that summer break has started, I expect to be writing a lot more, no promises though. This story officially ends my Hiratsuka centered story, and I'm excited to continue on my journey with Fire Queen's Request and Romcom is Still Here. I don't plan on starting any new stories at the moment, as juggling 4 has been hard enough, and now I'll have 3, which is a bit more manageable. Again though, sorry for the huge delays for anyone who cares. Overwatch happened, and it's kinda taking all of my time (DVa a best)
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed, and feedback/criticism is always appreciated. And, as always, I hope to see you guys in the next chapter!
-Rohasshiki