Author's Note: Hmm…consider this one tagged for a future follow up.

In the Garden

"I am not Alice."

Darcy's pronouncement drew looks from both of her companions.

"No," Clint agreed, drawing out the word. "You're Darcy and that's Nat, and I'm Clint."

"Ha, ha, very funny," she rolled her eyes. "No, I just mean – Alice got threatened with beheading and I don't remember what-all because the Red Queen was a bit of a bitch." She folded her arms over her chest. "I'm just getting it said from the outset that I don't want to be Alice."

"So we avoid the Red Queen," he shrugged.

"Clint can be Alice," Natasha agreed.

"Why me?" the archer demanded.

His partner shrugged. "Because this is your fault."

"You two need to quit ganging up on me."

The women exchanged glances before turning to stare at him. "Why?"

He blinked at the simultaneous double question and then sighed. "Never mind."

"It could be worse," Darcy patted his arm as she stepped up beside him to look over the wild garden spread before them. "Imagine what we'd be doing to Tony. It would definitely be worse."

"Much worse," Natasha agreed from Clint's other side.

"Nice to know I rank higher than Stark." He huffed out a quick chuckle. "Guess that's better than being on the bottom of the Avenger food chain."

"You're nowhere near the bottom," Darcy assured him as they started down the steps towards the garden gate. "Granted, you're not at the top, but you're definitely not at the bottom."

"And who's at the top," he demanded.

"Bruce," came the in-stereo reply.

Curiosity lit his voice. "Why Bruce?"

Natasha gave no vocal reply, but her challenging stare supplied all the answer he needed from her. Darcy shrugged. "Because he's got the whole absent minded professor thing going on that makes me want to wrap him up in a blanket and bring him soup and hot chocolate before he collapses from neglecting himself. He's kind of the guy version of Jane, but without the whole damn proud of herself personality she gets with everyone who's not family. It makes my Scientist radar go all red alert."

"Explains that," Clint nodded, fondness growing in his smile.

She laughed. "What can I say, I'm a scientist wrangler."

"You're not Alice."

The new voice caused them all to look around, the two spies going on full alert. A white rabbit came out from the shadows of the huge flowers. His blue waistcoat seemed a bit rumpled, as if he had been fussing with it. Darcy could just make out the chain of a pocket watch.

"Oh, dear," the rabbit muttered as he looked them over with care before focusing on Darcy. "Oh, dear. You should have been Alice."

"Actually I'm Darcy."

"Nivens McTwisp, at your service," he returned in an amiable voice, though his jittery concern did not lessen. "But you should have been Alice."

More figures stepped out of the shadows and into the light. Two large round boys and a large dignified bird that looked like something out of her science textbooks. She could not quite pin down the name of the species, but it tickled at her mind. The two boys stepped forward.

"I'm Tweedle Dee," said the one on the right. "He's Tweedle Dum."

His twin nodded. "And contrariwise, I'm Tweedle Dum and he's Tweedle Dee."

"You are strangers here," the large bird noted as he eyed them.

Darcy tilted her head as her memory finally clicked in. "And you're a Dodo." She heard Clint sigh as Natasha shifted beside her, but the bird just nodded.

"I am indeed," he agreed, a hint of approval in his tone. "My name is Uilleam."

"I'm Darcy," she smiled at him. Her companions shifted again, but she ignored that. "We're trying to get home."

"You're not Alice!"

A white mouse in a red coat jumped up on a nearby rock and brandished a pin at her. "You're supposed to be Alice!"

"It's not my fault I'm not Alice," Darcy frowned at her. "No reason to point that thing at me!"

"I'm listening to an argument with a mouse," Clint muttered.

Frowns began to appear on the faces surrounding them.

"Hush," Natasha scolded in a quiet tone before turning to the group. "If you would just direct us towards how to get back…?" Her voice trailed off, inviting a response.

"Ah, that would be up to the White Queen," McTwisp informed them. "She's the only one who would have the ability to send you home." He tugged on one of his ears, twitching a bit in distress as he looked towards Darcy. "Still…you were supposed to be Alice."

"I don't want to be Alice," she replied.

The white mouse shook her head. "But we need Alice!"

"Calm down, Maliumpkin," Uilleam insisted. "We should take them to Absolem. Perhaps he will know why she is not Alice."

"Because I'm Darcy?"

"And where is the White Queen?" Natasha asked.

"At her palace in Marmoreal of course," Maliumpkin rolled her eyes.

Natasha gave her a cool look. "And that would be…where?"

"South of Queast," Tweedle Dee replied.

Tweedle Dum shook his head. "East of Snud."

"It's both," McTwisp sighed.

Darcy looked over at the befuddled stoic expression now gracing Natasha's face. "Well," she sighed, "they did answer the question."

"Come along now," Uilleam insisted. "Absolem will know what to do."

"Are we placing any bets on that?" Clint murmured in her ear as they began to follow the odd little parade.

"It's been a very, very weird afternoon," she pointed out. "Who knows?"

"Hey, my only plan consisted of waiting until you got through with work and then talking you into dinner. This was not on my calendar."

She came to a full stop, turning to stare at him with wide eyes. "Excuse me? Dinner? What?"

Wicked mischief began to flicker in both smile and gaze as he stared down at her. "Yes, dinner," he replied.

"But you never…"

"I don't poach," Clint shrugged. "Figured I could wait it out considering the vibes coming off you both."

Her thoughts spun as she gaped at him. He waited, that mischief now hovering at the corners of his mouth. Had he really been…waiting? For her? Now that she thought about it, she could not recall his name pairing up with anyone on the gossip grapevine, but most people thought he just knew how to be discreet.

"Seriously?" Something made her push the question again. "Dinner?"

He sighed, but Natasha cleared her throat and they turned to her. "You're timing is terrible," she informed both of them before nodding to the path. "We should catch up. You can finish flirting later."

Darcy could feel color rushing to her cheeks before she turned to hurry after the group. She could sense the others keeping pace with her, but kept her gaze fixed on their guides. They came into a clearing where a large blue caterpillar sat on an even larger mushroom.

Maliumpkin gave them a haughty stare. "This is Absolem."

Absolem looked over them, eyes shifting from Natasha to Clint and then settling on Darcy. "Who are you?" he demanded.

She lifted her eyebrows at his abruptness. "I'm Darcy."

"You are supposed to be Alice," he frowned. "Though you don't appear to be Alice."

"Because I'm not Alice!" Darcy insisted.

"If you are not Alice," Absolem drew himself up to look down at her, "then why are you here?"

Darcy stared up at the blue caterpillar for a long moment before glancing around at the others. All of those eyes staring at her began to make her nervous, so she went with the first answer that crossed her mind. She pointed at Clint.

"It's all his fault."