This Is The Part Where Pyrrha Dies: Alternative Ending

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to…..what even? You thought this was a oneshot? Well, it seems you got the wrong half of my message and decided to go write sad fix fics or fics where Pyrrha just meets Jaune in the afterlife. Bollocks to that, I say! Pyrrha doesn't deserve a sad send-off like this! This is EXACTLY what I said with the Cockerel Festival ages ago in my other fic! Let's not remember Pyrrha in the saddest way possible, but let's remember her as the girl she was. In the words of the great Kallen Kozuki, "You fellas know exactly what this badass mother can do!"

So, I guess I have to toss my hat in one last time and take it upon myself to give her a good one. I have no regrets about this whatsoever.

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise….you know, I can't say "Pyrrha wouldn't have died" twice. Um. I dunno. Pyrrha's future daughter by Jaune would've saved her? *shrug*

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"It's unfortunate that you were promised a power that was never truly yours." Cinder muttered, looking cruelly down at the downed Huntress. With a finger, she lifted Pyrrha's chin up, smiling.

"But…..take comfort in knowing that I will use it in ways you could never have imagined."

Pyrrha pulled away from her touch, looking away briefly, assessing her situation.

These were her last moments, she was sure of it. Her heel was hurt, nobody was around to help her, and she was out of energy to even throw a tiny piece of metal at Cinder.

'…..I'm sorry, Jaune. I…had to do this.'

It was over. However, the spearmaiden wouldn't go out without one last jab at her killer. One last question to pierce her armour.

She raised her head up, glaring at Cinder with as much defiance as she could muster.

"Do you believe in destiny?"

Cinder's eyes narrowed, and she paused briefly, processing what she had just been said. Tears seemed to well in her eyes, letting the spearmaiden know she'd had her final jab.

"Yes." She responded bluntly, before stepping back. With outstretched arms, she called together her bow, forming an arrow in her hands, stretching the bowstring back and aiming directly at Pyrrha's heart.

The spearmaiden resisted the urge to close her eyes, to turn away from her doom.

'…I'm sorry.'

Ruby clambered up over the edge of the balcony, just in time to witness her friend's execution. No time to reach over, no time to save her, no time even to shout out one last comforting remark to let her friend know she was not alone.

Cinder let loose her arrow, sinking it directly into Pyrrha's chest.

In that moment, of course, all things being equal, any number of possibilities could have happened. Pyrrha could've grasped the arrow out of the air, rolled out of the way, Ruby could've rushed and pushed her out of the way, or a stray gale of air would sink the arrow into the girl's shoulder.

The world is full of infinite possibilities, after all. What reason to think that this moment of all moments wouldn't have the same property?

This possibility, however, was one a logical man would refer to as 'rather bloody unlikely'. In the space between the arrow flying from Cinder's bow, and the arrow hitting Pyrrha, something unusual happened.

Not a moment before, the spearmaiden was staring death in the face, an arrow flying towards her heart to finish her off, her murderer staring her down with nothing more than a calm, deathly cold expression.

A blinding light suddenly filled Pyrrha's vision, and the spearmaiden was forced to look away, closing her eyes.

She squeezed them shut, waiting for the impact and the shooting pain of the arrow. It never came.

After half a minute, she opened her eyes, looking down at her chest. No arrow to be found. Somehow, the arrow that had until then been on an inexorable path to her was gone.

"…..huh?" She noticed something surprising.

The arrow was right in front of her hand, snapped in two and fading into ashes on the ground.

Looking up hurriedly, the spearmaiden saw Cinder was gone, with her bow cut in two and the only thing remaining of her being a waft of smoke where she had been standing moments prior.

"Ah. Fire really is a pest."

Pyrrha looked up towards her left at the voice instinctively, seeing Ruby, who was staring at something just beyond her field of vision. However, it didn't seem as if she'd said it; unless Ruby's voice had deepened into one of a man's, it was increasingly unlikely the reaper had been her saviour.

She looked down, breathing heavily and trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her heel. She was safe, for the immediate moment. That much, she knew.

"Hoy! Are you alright? You look like you had some trouble there. Fire really sucks, you know."

Pyrrha lifted her head to see a red gloved hand being offered to her. Slowly, she looked up at her saviour, following the yellow-clad arm to look him in the eye.

He was bald and plain looking- almost remarkable in his unremarkableness.

"Ah. I thought she'd be more of a challenge." The bald man sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at the waft of smoke that was once Cinder Fall. "I heard she had the power of a goddess, so I thought she'd be stronger….."

With a sigh, he brushed off some ashes from his shoulder. "I guess I really am too strong."

"….w-who…" Pyrrha shakily asked, barely pulling herself off the ground. "….w-who are you?"

"I'm….." The bald man pointed at himself with a thumb. "Just a guy who's a hero for fun."

And so a new legend was created in the world of Remnant; that of the man who could slay even the mighty Maidens in one strike with the power of gods within his crimson fist.

And he was named…..Caped Baldy.

"Do you like it? I think it's a masterpiece!" Nora announced happily.

Team RWBY and the other members of team JNPR were just staring at her in silence, mouths open wide.

"…..what…was that?" Pyrrha was the first one to speak, blinking rapidly as if she had yet to process what kind of eldritch text she had just been introduced to.

"Why do I get killed?!" Cinder complained. "Seriously? Firstly you rob me of my best scene and now you kill me?! This is stupid."

Ren sighed, picking up a lean book with the title 'One Punch Man' from the desk. "Seriously, Nora?"
"What? I hated the ending!" Nora shrugged. "I mean, who wrote that crap?"

Pyrrha slapped her forehead with her palm, exasperated. "There's better ways of improving it. I'm not particularly sure you did the best one, Nora."
"But…..think about it! Saitama just….punching Cinder in the face!" The berserker gestured in the air with fists aimed at Jaune's face. "See? Is that not awesome? I think it's awesome. Come on, Ren, tell them!"

"…she's been obsessed with fixing that ending ever since she found out they wrote you out." Ren sighed, shaking his head. "Sorry about that, Pyrrha."
"Well, I'm as annoyed as the next-wait, they did WHAT?!" The spearmaiden stared at him with wide eyes. "Show me!"

Ren passed her one of the scripts for the newest episode of RWBY, and Pyrrha flipped through the pages.

"…..and 'this is the part where Pyrrha-'…..are you KIDDING ME?!" The spearmaiden cried in protest. "….you know what, let me write something better. Please move aside, Nora, I can do a better piece than these guys did."

Cinder rolled her eyes. "So I'm just not going to get a good scene, am I? Why can't I just have my big scene? It makes me look cool for once!"
"Oh, save it." Jaune shrugged. "The fans hate you for killing Pyrrha off anyway. And anyway, why is it that all the blondes in this series lose their love interests? I mean, Ruby's dad lost TWO of his love interests, I lose Pyrrha, Yang loses Blake-"

"Hey, i-it isn't canon!" Blake retorted, blushing. Yang merely chuckled, wrapping her arm around her teammate and pulling her closer, purring.

"Oh? What's wrong, Blakey~? Don't act like you don't want some of this~"

"T-that's not true! I-I d-don't fantasise about you….a-and me on a balcony….I-I'll just…." The catgirl looked down, embarrassed.

Pyrrha sighed, shaking her head and erasing everything she could, stopping at the part where Cinder was about to shoot her in the heart. "Alright. Let's see if I could write a better ending to this episode."

Instead, suddenly, Pyrrha found the strength to grasp the arrow from the air with one hand, before tackling Cinder to the ground with a mighty roar. Ignoring the gaping wound in her heel, she turned to see Ruby, staring at her in surprise and awe. Cinder's bow fell aside, skittering to the side as Pyrrha grabbed her shield with the tiny bit of Aura she had regained.

She stared the shocked Cinder in the eyes as she pinned her to the ground underneath her legs.

"Screw destiny."

With that blunt statement, Pyrrha slammed her shield into the would-be goddess' face, knocking her out cold.

With that, the day was saved, and Pyrrha was declared the Hero of Vale. Cinder was arrested and everyone forgot about her.

And Pyrrha and Jaune went on to get married and have lots of babies and Pyrrha did not in fact die horribly at the hands of an insane pyromaniac with a legion of fanboys.

The end.

"….better." Ren rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Right."

Jaune just looked away, embarrassed. "L-lots of…..babies? But that would involve-"
"Ugh." Weiss made a disgusted face. "Really, Pyrrha? I knew you liked him but…keep your perverted fantasies to yourself."

The spearmaiden blushed. "Eheheheh…."

"Wonderful." The gunslinger sighed. "Well, as Pyrrha's gone insane and I need to figure out what kind of insane idea it was to go show the script to the guys acting it out, I'm going to go get myself an aspirin."

"There should be a law." Pyrrha complained. "Why is it that all the mentors always get killed? Obi Wan, Mami, Kamina, Mufasa…..there should be a law against that!"

"You're telling me!" Torchwick spoke up. "They just up and killed me by having me eaten by a Griffon in my big scene! You'd think there'd be a law against killing handsome villains with excellent fashion and a good sense of humour, but noooo!"

Yang grumbled. "Excuse you? I lose the girl AND my arm! Might as well turn me into Edward Elric at this point! At least you could make more jokes about Qrow then!"

"You lose the girl, but at least you're alive! I just don't even get to be with Jaune!" The spearmaiden reminded her. "I've been waiting THREE volumes just to KISS him! Three!"

Cinder sighed, rubbing her temples exasperatedly. "Well, they're never going to stop arguing.

And this, kids, is why you never make sequels to comedies. They're never funny."

END

A/N: Alright, NOW I'm out of jokes. From here on, I'll still be annoyed about Pyrrha's death, but instead of making fun of it I'll just write relentless Arkos fluff like you wouldn't know.

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, criticisms, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day!

And really, this is it. That's all there is. No stinger. Nothing about the non-existent next chapter of this fic. Really. If you want more of this, go read momoxtoshiro's On Wings of White or one of the far inferior fixfics written about it. I can't guarantee they'll be as terrible as this, but hey, they're there.

Only joking. I love you guys. Okay, I'm done now! Have a great day!