A/N: Hey! *wave* Sorry about missing last week - I got in late [from the airport] the night before, and then my schedule's intensive enough that once I have a one-day-late chapter, it's... kinda hard to recover. *snort and grin* Anyway, here it is.

Thank you to bibliophile030, giselleavellaneda09, Ryuakilover, AngelHeartsX, Kittenanimegirl13, cursedchild14, Darke13, viny, Jazebeth, Shadow Spears, Candy Crackpot, InsanityOwl, Amelia Loves Anime, MsMusicLover, Stuck in my mind, LuffyLover27, newby6320, Lol, and guest for reviewing!

Title: Learning to Breathe

Author: liketolaugh

Rating: T

Pairings: None

Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: AU, literally. Non-canon ending.

Summary: Allen isn't coping well with the end of the Holy War and the loss of his friends. Neah is frustrated with his brother's carelessness. Their Arks bring them together, and Allen goes into a world where the Holy War doesn't exist and Mana's family - his family - is still alive.

Disclaimer: Like hell I own D. Gray-man.

"Just for a little longer," wheedled Neah, grinning at Allen with a sparkle in his eye that belied his whiney tone. "Come on, Allen. Mum loves you, Mana thinks you're a blast, Maria likes your stories, and Al and Cross haven't done half of what they want to."

They'd started to head back to the manor by now, with Neah and Allen taking up the middle of the group-in-motion. Mana and Cross took the lead, and Maria and Al were in back, with Al murmuring quietly to Urcanpy, seemingly not watching where he was going; Maria had taken over the responsibility of keeping him from falling when he inevitably tripped (usually with at least one accompanying curse).

"That's not encouraging," Allen informed Neah, a small smile playing about his lips and Timcanpy resting on his head, and Neah's grin broadened a little, twisting into a bit of a smirk.

"Well, maybe not," he allowed cheerfully. "But the point stands. We'd love to have you a little longer, Allen, are you sure you can't stay?"

"Grah!" Tim said, tail waving. Allen couldn't tell whether he agreed or objected.

Before Allen could answer, Mana, dropping in on his other side, added in,

"I'd like you to be here a little longer, too." When Allen turned his head to look at him, Mana's smile was friendly, eyes maybe not as excited as Neah's but just as bright. "We haven't had much time to meet you at all."

Allen let his smile soften, eyes on Mana's. "I know. And I'd like to stay a little longer, too, really." That's why I can't stay, he didn't add. He almost felt that if he stayed here too long, he wouldn't be able to leave. Or to avoid doing something wrong again. On his head, Timcanpy seemed to wilt, tail dropping.

"Then do it, you ass," Cross griped, a few steps ahead, turned around and walked backward, with a smirk on his lips. "You're welcome, you're willing, why the fuck are you leaving?"

Allen made a face at him.

"God knows Cross has enough experience overstaying his welcome," Maria contributed, "so I'm sure Katerina would be gratified to have a welcome guest for once."

"I am a goddamn delight," Cross informed her tartly, and Maria didn't even grace him with an answering glance. Cross scowled.

Allen chuckled softly, reaching up to rub the back of his head sheepishly, and he was about to answer, except just then, his attention was caught by an approaching figure, with a tall silhouette and a fast, long stride. He tilted his head slightly, surprised, and Mana followed his gaze curiously, and then smiled.

"Dad!" he called out, raising his hand to wave. Timcanpy started, and then took off, soaring into orbit a few feet above them.

Adam, Allen noted with concern, was not smiling; this became clearer as he approached, and soon, Mana's smile faded, too.

"Dad?" he repeated when Adam was in earshot, followed immediately by,

"Is something wrong?" courtesy of Neah.

Adam's jaw was clenched tight, his eyes stormy and his brow furrowed, his hand tight around the handle of an umbrella Allen recognized as Lero, though he was quiet at the moment, seemingly cowed.

His gaze swept over them, and even Al was looking up now, frowning at the man's odd behavior. After a moment, Adam relaxed, if only slightly.

It took another moment after that before Allen realized that Adam had been checking to see if anyone was hurt, and he dropped his gaze, studying the grassy ground between them, biting back an apology. Adam shouldn't have to worry about the safety of his family, not in his own backyard.

"Mana, Neah, unwanted company," Adam greeted, voice only slightly strained. The snort Cross offered at this indicated that it was a common greeting; it was almost enough to let Allen dredge up a smile. "Everything alright?"

Neah tilted his head, a frown on his face as he studied his father. "Yeah," he said slowly, after a long moment. "Everything's fine. We were just heading back."

Adam nodded, half distracted, and Neah's frown deepened slightly.

"I felt th- your friend activate," he said at last, and Neah's eyes brightened in recognition. "I was concerned."

"Allen wouldn't have hurt us," Mana dismissed, smiling at Adam in a way that clearly showed how silly he thought Adam was being. (Mana had never had a real firm grasp of reality, apparently.) Allen bit back a sad smile at Mana's faith, but his stomach clenched with discomfort.

"We asked him to demonstrate," Al added, stepping forward so he was just behind Allen, peeking over his shoulder, reaching up to push his glasses up to bridge of his nose. "You set a goddamn accommodator in front of me and expect to fucking ignore it? Come on, Adam, use your dusty fucking brain."

"Who the fuck knows when we'll get a chance like this again," Cross agreed, but he was frowning at Adam, too, suspicious and discerning.

Adam seemed to consider that for a moment, and Allen lifted his gaze back to him in time to catch a flash of calculation. Then it was replaced by a smile, as plastic as any Allen ever saw in the mirror.

Which was to say, completely fake, but almost perfectly indistinguishable from the real thing.

"Of course, I should have known," Adam demurred, and though Neah's frown deepened, and Al's brow furrowed, almost everyone else seemed entirely fooled. Cross smirked, Maria smiled a little herself, and Mana grinned. Adam continued, "I'm curious myself, actually; it's been some time since I've seen an Innocence, and every Innocence is unique, isn't it, Allen?"

Allen nodded cautiously, locking his hands behind his back, out of sight. He didn't like that look in Adam's eyes. It made his heart beat quicker, no matter how irrational that was. (Adam wouldn't hurt him while Mana and Neah still cared what happened to him. It was just hard to remember that.)

"What is yours like?"

Allen curled his left hand into a loose fist, but it was Mana who answered for him, bursting with excitement.

"It was amazing, Dad, you should have seen it. He had claws. Massive claws." Mana's eyes were bright with the enthusiasm of a little boy who had never seen violence first-hand, and Allen couldn't even begin to decide how that made him feel. "Just on his left arm, though."

"He had a cloak, too," Maria added, and Mana nodded. "Rather large, bright white."

"Bulletproof, too, I'm guessing," Al put in, glancing questioningly at Allen, who offered a small, habitual smile in return and nodded.

"And his synchro's a hundred and seventeen!" Mana added, with no regard for the fact that he had very little idea of what that meant. Allen stifled a smile. "Al says it's enough to take down a building."

Allen returned his gaze to Adam, and any urge to smile faded. Adam's gaze was sharper than ever, and deeply unforgiving.

Allen had faced the shadow of Adam in his previous world, and the horrible amalgamation of Neah, Mana, and Adam that was the Earl, but neither of those had had Adam's clear intelligence, or his focus. Allen suppressed a shiver and smiled.

"Really," Adam said quietly, and then he smiled, too. Allen's fist clenched, and he took a deep breath, forcing down an uncalled-for bolt of adrenaline. "Would you boys mind if I borrowed Allen for a moment? I'll bring him back to the house when we're done."

Mana looked curious, and Neah was still frowning at Adam, but both of them shrugged, and Adam waited no longer before taking Allen's arm (a move that made Allen go rigid) and moving away, while the others redistributed themselves for the remaining distance to the house. Timcanpy made a false move toward Allen before Allen waved him off – it would probably be better to do this alone.

Adam took Allen away, to a different side of the house – presumably, Allen judged, trying at once to pull away and to desperately pretend not to want to, to take him out of sight.

Sure enough, as soon as they rounded the corner, Adam let go, and Allen let himself drift a ways back, tilting his head back slightly to meet Adam's gaze.

Allen managed a smile, uncomfortable and uneasy though it was. "What did you want to speak to me about, sir?" he asked politely, trying to will his own tension away.

Adam wouldn't hurt him while Mana and Neah still cared enough to get upset about it. Allen was much more likely to hurt Adam than Adam was to hurt Allen, no matter how threatening Allen found his presence.

It wasn't as reassuring as Allen wished it was. Adam's gold eyes were… not friendly.

"Katerina told me what happened," Adam said at last, gaze intense.

It took Allen a moment to discern what Adam meant. Then the color drained from his face, and he dropped his gaze from Adam's, shoulders tensing. He bit back an apology, raised his eyes back to Adam's, and held them there.

"That was there. I know you're not the same here." Not in the least.

"No," Adam agreed, without actually giving way in the least, from the steely look in his eyes. "However, I take the safety of my family very seriously, you understand."

Allen could understand. Very well, in fact.

"And while my sons may not understand what it means to have a synchro rate," Adam continued, eyes becoming, if possible, even harder. "I have seen Innocence in action, and the last time I met someone with a synchro rate as high as yours, they killed half my Noah before I took them down."

Yes, that was kind of the idea.

"I understand," Allen said softly. It might help Adam to know that Allen was having trouble with his Innocence at the moment, but then again, he might not believe him. "My Innocence is too strong to be safe, I understand." He gave a small smile. "It's good, then, that I won't be here much longer."

Adam scrutinized him for a moment, and then, at last, asked, "How long did it take your people to destroy all of my Noah?"

Allen hesitated, and let his head dip again. "About two years," he said at last. He swallowed. "There were thirteen of us when it began." At least, when they actually started killing Noah.

"Thirteen," Adam echoed, voice a little deeper, and Allen wasn't sure what that meant but knew he didn't like it. And then, startling Allen, "Katerina tells me you don't like Neah. Specifically."

Allen half-flinched before he could stop himself, shifted his gaze to Adam's again, considered briefly, and then said quietly, "After Neah died, he tried to reincarnate into me."

Adam's gaze sharpened. "And yet you're still here."

Allen nodded and felt a lump in his throat.

Adam studied him for a moment, and then exhaled harshly. "You're leaving," he said.

"Yes," Allen confirmed, a little confused.

"Now," Adam clarified, eyes turning to golden steel again. "I don't trust you around my family." Quieter, "My family may like you, but they don't know Innocence."

Allen thought about objecting, thought better of it, offered a small, weary smile, and nodded.

"Okay," he agreed softly.

The return to the manor was as tense and awkward as Allen would have expected. He kept his gaze down, and Adam strode just behind him. Allen suspected that Adam wanted to keep an eye on him and was more stung by his distrust than he probably should have been.

Inside, Katerina had reappeared, and Maria had gotten Al to stop chattering to his golem, while Neah and Cross were engaged in a heated argument and Mana laughed at both of them. Timcanpy, circling restlessly overhead, noticed them almost instantly and soared over to return to his rightful place on Allen's head.

Adam cleared his throat, gaining their attention, and Allen held a small, apologetic smile on his face, hiding his surprise. Apparently Adam really had meant now.

Sure enough, Adam announced, somewhat abruptly,

"I'm afraid Allen has to leave now."

Katerina's gaze sharpened, focusing on Adam, who held it, jaw set with tension. After a moment, Katerina sighed, looking sad but not entirely surprised.

Neah, by contrast, looked almost outraged. "What? Allen, we asked you to stay longer, not leave early!"

Mana looked concerned as well, and Maria was glancing between Allen and Adam in a way that indicated no small amount of suspicion.

"I'm sorry," Allen apologized, keeping his slight smile. "I promised Krory that I'd be back soon, when I left before I came here. He must be going crazy by now."

"Gah!" Timcanpy agreed.

"Will you be coming back?" Mana asked, intent and curious. Allen shrugged, choosing not to turn Adam in for the man's suspicion – Allen wouldn't be welcome back.

Al was also studying both of them, reaching up to adjust his glasses.

"Well, fuck," Al said at last, but then he let himself smile slightly. "Well, I suppose good things don't last long."

Allen had to agree.

"Now," Katerina echoed quietly, eyes on her husband. Soon enough, though, she looked back at Allen and smiled kindly. "Alright, then. I suppose you're right, you wouldn't want to worry your friends too much."

See, Katerina understood. Allen smiled and nodded, and Neah heaved a put-upon sigh.

"Fine!" he huffed. "Back to the Ark it is."

Allen firmly ignored the looks he got – suspicious from Cross, concerned from Mana, outright worried from Neah and Katerina – on the way back to the Ark. It didn't matter. This had been nice – beyond nice – but he needed to go back.

This wasn't his place.

They didn't go into Neah's piano room, which surprised Allen slightly – without plans to sabotage, Neah shouldn't need a secret room. Then again, Allen supposed it was nice to have a place no one else could reach.

He ignored Adam's sharp gaze as Neah called up another piano, and both of them, right across from each other like a mirror, went to their places, positioned to begin. Tim landed on the piano in front of Allen and stayed there, though he didn't open his mouth to display the score – Allen didn't need it anymore, and maybe never had.

"Ready?" Neah asked, with an interested look and a bright smile. Allen smiled back.

"Ready," he echoed.

Then, at the same time – something Allen consciously chose not to find unsettling – they started to play. The music wound together, harmonious in a way that spoke of a deeper relationship than they really had, and called on the Ark to do both their bidding.

They played, willed the door into existence, and waited.

They had reached the end of the song before Allen realized what felt wrong.

He looked up, and then around, and, finally, met Neah's gaze, as startled as his was.

Because the door hadn't appeared.

Whoops. *cheerful smile* By the way, I'll probably keep to this week schedule (meaning next week will be skipped, and the week after will have the update, rather than returning to the previous schedule). It works better with the other alternate week stories. (As in, the more intensive story is now the one farther from this one.) Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review!

Additionally - D. Gray-man: Hallow's first episode has been released! I'm reliably informed that it's available on Kissanime and a site called dgrayman dot tv, and the14thscion on Tumblr is doing livestreams of the episodes as they come out. *smile*

Edit: I fricken forgot Tim.