Universal Breakdown: DC World

CrowsAce: I changed the tittle because we decided to do this as series.

Catmadperson: this time this is all written under the influence of sugar as opposed to alcohol. But hey, that may happen later … Or rather in Ace's case, now. Sinner.

Chapter two

After what seemed like a long journey, they finally reached their destination. They got out of the vehicle; both Cat and Ace gasped. The Bat Cave was quite a majestic place indeed.

Batman walked towards the Bat computer, gesturing Cat and Ace to follow him. Batman pressed some buttons, and brought up the CCTV footage of the area they had previously been at.

The footage showed an almost blinding light and smoke filling the area before dissipating and leaving two figures behind.

"That's us!" exclaimed Cat.

Ace rolled her eyes. "Well done idiot."

"That is indeed you," said Batman. "I would very much like to know what is going on."

"Haven't the foggiest," replied Cat. "But I blame Ace because she was the one playing the video game."

"Hey now!"

"Don't start singing that again please," groaned Batman. Ace snickered.

"So what exactly are we going to do about this whole situation?" Cat enquired.

Batman sighed deeply. "Well, you two better stay here in the meantime, whilst we work out the situation."

"Hey, can we call you Bats … Or do you prefer Bruce? Or is that too informal? How about Mr Wayne?" Ace asked.

Batman looked at her in shock. "How…?"

Cat rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's kind of obvious, Bruce."

Ace laughed. Cat laughed. Batman didn't laugh.

Cat cleared her throat and decided to explain how they knew. Batman asked if they had any proof of this. Ace responded back that yes actually, they did, and she proceeded to pull out a comic book from out of nowhere it would seem.

Batman held it his hands, for once lost for words. After a few moments he said: "What land do you come from?"

"England?" replied Cat.

Ace looked at her friend, and burst into manic laughter.

"My butler Alfred also comes from England, but I don't think you two come from the same place."

Ace shrugged. "Maybe we come from an alternative one, or maybe your reality leaked into ours and ended up becoming a comic book."

"Maybe your reality is a lie," Cat said ominously. Ace looked over at her in concern. Though it wasn't possible to see, both girls could tell Batman was rolling his eyes.

"You two better come with me," said Batman, and he lead them to the elevator that would take them up to his mansion.

"Mr Wayne," exclaimed Alfred, as the doors of the elevator opened to reveal Master Wayne standing there with two teen girls at his side. "I see you're picking up strays."

"Hey!" Ace exclaimed indignantly.

Batman shoot her a look, as if to say don't you dare start singing.

Cat was just stood there, looking a bit dreamy. She was thinking about cats again.

"You're thinking about cats again, aren't you?" Ace sighed.

Cat was startled. "A-wha-nooo…"

Ace looked at her in exasperation. Batman ignored them both, and told Alfred to take them to their rooms. Cat and Alfred struck up a lovely conversation about grammar within the English language. Ace walked behind them, with a look of horror on her face. This was no time to be discussing the past progressive. From this the conversation developed onto the education system, and Cat began to get quite passionate about her strong left leaning views on education and society itself.

"The current system does not work at all; we need a a system that promotes equality, and your education should not be based on your parents wealth…"

All the while, Ace was walking behind them, a look of contemplation on her face. She was contemplating bombing the government. In her opinion, they sounded like a load of arseholes. Her views were perhaps a little sociopathical.

Alfred cleared his throat, interrupting Cat in her increasingly passionate rhetoric about politics. "These are your rooms, girls," he said, showing them two mahogany doors. "If you need anything, there is a buzzer on the wall by the side of the door. Goodnight."

And with that the butler walked away quickly, as if he couldn't bear anymore talk of politics.

"Awfully nice chap, he was," said Cat.

Ace rolled her eyes. "He has the patience of a saint, listening to all your nonsense."

The girls looked at the two doors.

"I want the one that has the biggest bed!" Ace exclaimed, rushing forward to check both rooms. She raised her eyebrows upon noticing they were both exactly the same right down to every last detail… Batman was certainly very meticulous when it came to details.

Both Ace and Cat went into their separate rooms. Cat sat at the window seat, looking melodramatically out of the window, thinking about cats. Ace looked around the room, before jumping onto the bed, and then pulling out a phone. Sure hope it'll still get signal here, she thought to herself, as she began dialling a number she knew off by heart.

After a few rings, a voice answered. "Hello?"

Ace grinned at the sound of a familiar voice. "You will never guess what has happened."

"What?" enquired her friend's voice.

"I'm in Gotham."

"Huh?"

"I know this sounds absolutely impossible, but I was playing ps4 and some weird shit happened, and then bam, we are in Gotham."

Loikie laughed. "What are you on about?"

Ace explained what had happened in the last hour.

"That is a little bit insane," Loikie said. "Do you think you'll be back for next weekend? I still want to go out you know."

"It'll be fine. We'll definitely be back by then."

"Awesome."

"Well, I'll message you later. I'm going to have a look around now."

"Okay, bye."

Ace hung up, and proceeded to inspect the surroundings. It was just a normal kind of room, which was a bit of a disappointment really, because she had expected it to be a bit more gothic and with a chandelier or two or something. Maybe a cabinet with a decanter containing port. Something classy, sophisticated. Instead, it was just like a showroom of an ikea catalogue. This was not particularly impressive, considering this was a billionaire's mansion.

Ace tutted. She heard a knock at the door. It was Cat.

"The decour is very disappointing," Cat said.

"I agree," Ace nodded. "Not what you'd expect considering this is the mansion of Bruce Wayne."

"There wasn't even any period pieces of furniture. Nothing Victorian, not even Edwardian," Cat shook her head in disapproval, and then said in hushed tones, "not even Art Deco! I was very upset by this."

Ace gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "I know. Sometimes expectations can be better than the actual thing though. Perhaps being a billionaire isn't all that much these days. A trillionaire is where you need to be. Being a billionaire isn't what it used to be."

"Alas," said Cat.

Ace opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "I was about to say something majestic there, but then I forgot."

"Oh," said Cat. She wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Vale."

There was a slight awkward silence for a second.

"Well," said Cat. "I am going to get some sleep."

Ace looked a bit confused. "But it's only half twelve in the afternoon …"

"One can never have enough sleep." And with that, Cat left and went back to her room.

Ace rolled at her eyes at her eternally sleepy friend. Uni did that to a person.

Ace decided to explore the mansion for a while. However, she soon got bored, so decided to leave. She thought Alfred or Batman would swoop down on her, and stop her leaving, but neither of them were around.

It was a bit of a hike into Gotham town and she went to find the nearest Starbucks to get herself a large Java Chip Frappucino. Whilst she was queuing up, she noticed how cool the clothes the guy in front was wearing; an interesting purple and green combination.

"Hey dude, I'm loving the whole purple and green aesthetic you've got going on," she couldn't help but saying.

The guy turned around and grinned, a little manically. "Thanks my dear. Not many people appreciate my style of clothing."

Ace couldn't help but think the man looked somewhat familiar. "Well, they're all fools."

"Fools with no fashion sense!"

Ace laughed somewhat manically. She hadn't noticed that the rest of the people had quickly exited the building, upon seeing both her and the man in green and purple laughing manically; how parents had rushed out with their children, teens running out with looks of terror on their faces, an elderly man having a heart attack, even the baristas had run away. She and the man continued discussing fashion, until she realised there was no one around to order from.

"Oddly quiet in here, isn't it," she said to the man.

He sighed. "I hate it when this happens. You know, sometimes a man just wants to get a salted caramel macchiato, without worrying about frightening all those around me."

It was then that it dawned on Ace where she recognised the man from.

"Oh my gosh!"

The man sighed, "so you recognise – "

"Can I get your autograph?!"

Pleasantly surprised, he replied back, "of course! I don't meet many people who appreciate my work, you know."

"I am a massive fan," said Ace, handing him a piece of paper and a pen. "Is Harley around too? Did you break her out of Arkham recently?"

"Would you like to meet her? There's a lovely little tea shop around the corner. The old dears normally run away when I go in there, but the ambience is lovely."

"And Harley will be there?"

"I'll give her a call," said the Joker, taking out his iPhone 6S plus.

"Nice phone."

"Thanks pal," he said, as he dialled Harley's number. "Hey Harley, met a fan of our work, meet me at the tea place in five? Excellent, see you in a bit."

With that, Ace and the Joker left Starbucks, without their Java Chip Frappuccino and salted caramel macchiato, and merrily made their way to the tea shop.

"What brought you around to these parts then? I don't think I've seen you around here before," the Joker asked as they crossed a road.

"Ah, the usual," Ace said. "Got transported into an alternative universe through a video game console."

"Haven't heard that one before," the Joker laughed.

"I bet," Ace laughed in return. "Life sure can be odd at times."

They had finally arrived at the tea place, Ace could see Harley was already sitting at a table, with a plate of scones in front of her.

"After you," gestured the Joker, holding open the door for Ace.

She walked in; the Joker had been right, there was a lovely ambience to the place.

"Those old biddies left screaming as soon as they saw me," said Harley, sighing, as she pulled up a chair for Ace to sit down on. "All I wanted was to order a pot of tea and some scones and jam. I guess those are just the cons of having a reputation as an absolutely insane criminal."

"I know," sighed the Joker as he sat down. "Can't even get a salted caramel macchiato without causing absolute pandemonium."

Harley shook her head in sympathy.

"Does it make you wish you weren't evil," Ace asked.

The pair looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

"Nah!" chuckled Harley, as the Joker wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.

"That was a good one," he said weakly, unable to talk for laughter. "I've just realised, I never asked your name?"

"Ace."

"Sounds like a good name for a villain," said Harley, winking.

Ace grinned. "Thank you so much! You have no idea what that means to me to hear it from you."

"I like this girl," Harley said to Joker. "What do you say, Ace? Want to join us? Make our duo a fantastic trio?"

"Omg yass! XD" (yes, I just used an emoji … this girl was happy it had to be used).

"Excellent!" grinned the Joker. "When we have finished our scones and tea, we'll get you a costume and then go back to the lair and plot evil plans."

"Sounds good," said Ace, munching on a scone.

Meanwhile, Cat had awoken from her nap. She looked at her watch, and saw that she had been asleep for the past 2 hours. She stretched like a cat, and decided to see what Ace was up to. After knocking a few times to no answer, she decided she would have to knock down the door. With a mighty heave, the door flew open. Ace wasn't in there.

"Ace, where have you gone?" Cat thought to herself out loud.

"I'm afraid your friend has joined the league of villains," came a deep gravelly voice behind her, making her jump. She turned around to see Batman stood right behind her.

"Oh sweet Jesus. Why am I not surprised?"

Batman looked at her inquisitively. Cat sighed. "She loves the villains in the comic books. She feels somewhat of an affinity towards them."

Bruce shook his head, not in the least bit surprised, he could tell that that girl was an odd one, particularly when she burst out singing.

"Well," Cat began, "We better go find her before she gets into any trouble…. And preferably before she finds a one Dr. Jonathan Crane."

"What's Crane got to do with it?" Bruce enquired.

"well.."

Ace grinned at her reflection in the mirror. Her costume consisted of a pair of skin tight black trousers that reminded her of jeans but were far more comfortable, a pair of black biker boots that stopped just below her knee cap, they even had green buckles on them, she had a plain black t-shirt on with green braces over the top. Her jacket was black leather, with green detail and she also wore a black bowler hat with a green ribbon.

She was looking good.

Joker walked over, with a grin on his face.

"Are you ready, kiddo? Time to put our plan to action."

Vale= okay

Ace: The flapjacks are falling!

Cat: Most of this is my work, Ace was just eating flapjacks!