Where do I go when sleep doesn't fix me? There's a knot living in my throat that wants to get out. Infinite possibilities. The infinite is the limit. And I'm part of it. Infinite universes, me, infinite. What isn't done by me here, is getting done somewhere else. I know that. And that thought comforts me. Somewhere, among infinite others, I am yours. You want me and I want you; I crave you and save you in this obscure eternity filled with love. I'll be yours forever. Maybe you're different there. Maybe you crave me too. Maybe, just maybe, that version of ourselves don't care what others might think. Maybe you don't hate me there. Do you love me there? Infinite possibilities, coins to be soon thrown. And in every road, I drive. In every curve, I turn. Every sound, I hear. Every wave, I dive. And I reach out to you.

There are infinite paths and knots in my chest. Some of them I can easily undo. Others stay. The knot I have is from love. Physical, emotional, painful love. I love the pain you bring me. I also love the sky when it reminds me of you. Cloudy, dark, cold, confusing. Mind blowing. Maybe someday you'll find yourself in my chest. There's enough room inside. I'll even allow you to leave. Just please, leave the rope there, tight on my throat, so I can remember us, everything we are, could be. Everything we are not.

When did all this mess start, you wonder.

I ask myself the same question.

I can't put a finger when it all started, it seems so long ago.

Maybe it was always there.

This craving.

This lust.

This mess.

This love.

I wonder when it started.

I wonder when my world got turned upside down.

I wonder when I fell madly in love with Jade West.