A/N: Well, this is it, I guess! NCIS IS OVER. At least, for me it is.
I'm not gonna start on how I feel or I'd never be able to stop; because seriously, how can I show how disappointed I am? How hurt! 13 years and this is what they give him and us as a parting gift? Not that I'm surprised or anything; doesn't mean it hurt any less.
As usual, Michael nailed it with his amazing performance; but it was another sign why it was the right decision to walk away since he was clearly being overlooked till the very last moment!
I'm gonna miss him so bad, but from now on, I'm gonna pretend season 13 never happened so I'd be able to keep writing.
This is the last chapter of this story and then I'll be back with a new one. I'm not done with writing for Tony and I just hope that you're not done with reading Tony-centric fictions, either.
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I'd love to hear your thoughts and words; and I really need some reassurances that I'm not the only one feeling this way; even though through tweets and everything else I've learned how a lot of fans have felt let down. Still, hope you guys don't give up on fanfiction just because they once again let us down. For good this time.
Farewell, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo! You'll be greatly missed. No one can ever replace you.
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That night, Tony left the office quietly, not talking to anyone and Gibbs let him, feeling like the younger man needed some alone time to think and probably grieve. Not that Tony knew how to do that properly; but Gibbs wasn't one to judge as he himself had never known how to grieve properly either. Still, he thought it better to let Tony be alone for the night and decided he'd keep a closer eye on him the next day.
So, when he went home alone, he expected to have his house to himself for the night; he hadn't expected any visitors.
"Gibbs."
Looking up from the jar in his hand, he slightly frowned when he saw Abby walking down the stairs.
"Hi."
"What's up, Abbs?"
"I... um... I need your help."
Frowning, Gibbs put down his jar. "What's wrong?"
"I need help with Tony."
Gibbs suddenly realized what this was about. 'Not again with this.' He thought gruffly.
And Abby could see the realization in his eyes. "I apologized. I swear." She said quickly, before Gibbs could get upset with her again. "I told him I felt terrible for the way I've treated him and the things I said; I told him I didn't mean any of them."
"Didn't you?"
"What?" She took a step back. "Of course not. Why would you say that?"
"Then why did you say those things, Abby? Why did you act that way?"
"He asked that too." She sighed and sat down on the bench. "Gibbs, I told him that I did it for him-"
"Bullshit, Abby." Gibbs snapped, but his voice was still low.
Abby cringed nevertheless.
"It's bullshit and you know it. You were fooled by Senior's charm and acts and you didn't like being wrong so you decided it must've been Tony's fault that they weren't in touch and you decided to push Tony to do what you liked. Life is not a fairy tale, Abby; you gotta learn that sometime."
"I apologized; he said he knew I was sorry, but I don't think he forgave me. He said..." She bit her lip. "He said he didn't think sharing stuff with me was right since I wouldn't believe him and wouldn't trust him."
'Huh! Good for you, DiNozzo.' Gibbs thought proudly; glad that his protégé had spoken his mind bluntly for once. He decided to follow his agent's lead; so, candidly, he said, "Well, what did you expect? You didn't have his back; you didn't trust him. And I can't tell you why you were wrong or how wrong you were, but I can tell you this much that you were wrong and Tony was right sending his father his way. The man-"
Abby frowned and looked up. "You know something." She studied the man before her. "Something happened, right? Something happened and you know it and that's why you told me to step out of it and not to meddle."
"And yet you did just that." Gibbs shook his head.
"Well, you could've told me." She threw her hands in the air. "What happened? Tell me, Gibbs; things were going so well; what happened that you suddenly changed your mind and Tony suddenly didn't want anything to do with his father and-"
"Hey." Gibbs sharply interrupted her ranting. "Told you to mind your own business."
"But Gibbs-"
"Abby, you couldn't trust your friend to let him do things his own way. You had to meddle and look where it's gotten you. And you still are trying to push things and wanna know every damn thing." This was one of those times that Gibbs really wanted to shake her and knock some sense into her.
"But I'm his friend."
"Abby. You lost that privilege when you took Senior's side without knowing anything. And things weren't going well; we just chose to think they were. We saw what we wanted to see, not what was really happening."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Did any of us ever ask Tony about why he chose to send his father away that Christmas? We just assumed and acted on our own and brought Senior back. Without asking Tony's opinion."
"Well, that was the right thing to do. Tony was so happy."
Man, she still had her head buried deeply in the sand.
"No, Abby. That was the wrong thing to do and Tony wasn't happy; he just pretended for our sake and for his father's sake; like he always does. He had good reasons to send his old man away."
Abby didn't look convinced.
Gibbs shook his head. "You need to go Abby. I don't have what you're looking for."
She was ready to protest, but Gibbs stopped her with a raised finger.
"You're just looking for an easy way to get things back to normal. But you gotta know that actions have consequences. You have to learn to think before saying things and acting. And more importantly you have to learn you can't always have it your way. You're not even ready to accept that Tony has been right and you made a mistake; how could you expect him to act like nothing happened?"
Abby's silence showed that she was contemplating Gibbs' words, but it was also clear that she didn't like what she was hearing.
"Did something happen?" She finally asked sotto voce.
Gibbs' patience was wearing thin. "Not my place to say anything and not your place to ask. You gotta learn to trust your friends unconditionally, not just when it suits you. If you want his friendship, you should know him after all these years; you should know how he always understates things that actually hurt him. Does he ever exaggerate about important stuff Abby? We both know he doesn't; heck he doesn't even really talk about serious problems; he's more closed than I am; so why did you think he's exaggerated about his childhood when he barely even talks about it? Why couldn't you trust him and accept that he must've had a perfect reason for being mad at his father? You should've just accepted it and jumped to defend him even if you had doubts about his words, because he is your friend, not his father. You didn't give him the benefit of the doubt and worse, you tried to make him do things the way you liked; never thinking what it was doing to him."
"I'm sorry." She murmured.
"I know, but like I said, actions have consequences. You made your bed; you gotta lie in it now."
"So what? I gotta give up on my friendship with Tony?"
"No, you gotta accept that you've changed things with your choices. You gotta understand that Tony might never share anything with you again."
"Can't you please talk to him? Tell him that I'm sorry? That he should move on and forgive me?"
"I'd never do that." Gibbs said firmly; sounding irritated by that suggestion. "I'm using my annual quota of words to tell you we shouldn't meddle in his affairs and that we should show him we trust him with his decisions and you want me to once again interfere and force him to do things against his will?" He sometimes had a really hard time getting Abby. "Besides, I think he's doing the right thing. Just like I did when he told his father off."
Abby's eyes went wide with disbelief and sadness. "You think he's doing the right thing by pushing me away?"
"You pushed him away, Abby and at a time when he needed all the friends and support he could get; you even said he shouldn't come to you if he ever needed anything. You can't have your cake and eat it too." He pointed out. "He is just keeping his distance now and can't say I blame him."
Shakily, she tried making excuses again, "Gibbs, I didn't mean-"
"Go, Abby." Once again, he interrupted her. "Go and think about your words and behavior and everything we've talked about. Maybe one day you can see the error of your ways. That day, go and talk to Tony. But not a day before that; because he can see right through you if you lie and that'd only make him become more aloof."
Turning his back was a hard thing for Gibbs, but if Abby wasn't ready to admit, even to herself, that she'd been wrong and that she'd made a huge mistake, then he didn't have anything more to say. The woman needed to grow up and face the consequences of her actions.
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It was two nights later when Gibbs was alone with Tony again; this time he was the one inviting himself to the younger man's place for dinner.
"Abby came to me the other night."
'Here we go.' Tony thought as he winced internally. He was sure Gibbs was going to order him to fix things with her, so he was surprised with the next thing that came out of the older man's mouth.
"Told her off."
The bottle of beer stopped midway to his mouth as Tony heard that.
"Learning a few lessons won't hurt her." Gibbs continued nonchalantly.
Eyeing his boss suspiciously, Tony tried to understand where this conversation was heading.
"Thought you should know." Gibbs clarified. "You were right, DiNozzo. Both with your father and now with her."
"Don't wanna regret another thing later." Tony confessed quietly.
"You did nothing wrong to regret."
"Doesn't feel that way." He sighed. "Everyone's always tried to push me and my father together and I'm grateful that they wanted to help me, but it also makes me think maybe I was wrong; maybe I should've brought down my expectations and then I would've found what I wanted with him and he wouldn't be dead now."
"You talk like you've pushed him off a cliff. He died of a natural cause, helped by his own drinking problem. If anything, it was another mistake on his part." Gibbs scolded. "And just how lower did you want to bring your expectations? You wanted to let him get away with abuse? You've already done that once."
Tony visibly winced at those words; he didn't like to think of his childhood that way; he didn't think of his father as an abusive parent; the man had just been a little rough. That's different.
Gibbs noticed the wince and didn't push; instead, he said, "I never cared for him; just wanted to make him open his damn eyes and realize what he had; to give you what you deserve, the father you've always hoped for; I meddled, pushed, did everything; just because I wanted to see you happy. But even I had to admit defeat; he wasn't going to change for anything."
"Lost cause, huh?"
"After that night I realized why you were so weary of letting him in again; why you were always guarded around him. I saw what he'd done to you and how he'd fooled us all with his acts. And you kept forgiving him, always letting him come back and do whatever the hell he pleased and never even tried to correct us or tell us to mind our own business even when we deserved it. You gave him multiple chances; did way more than I, or anyone, would do in your situation. If I were you, I don't think I'd ever give him the time of day again. You're a great man, DiNozzo. Don't ever doubt that." Gibbs also wanted to add that 'any father worth his salt would've been proud to have you as a son', but thought it was too soon; that it'd probably hurt Tony more, knowing that his father never really appreciated him and never showed him he was proud of the man he had become. So he just kept that last comment to himself.
Tony looked at the older man and smiled slightly, inclining his head in thanks. "I hate myself for still being mad at him; I feel like he took that chance away from me to ever forgive him fully and I'm mad at him for that and I hate myself for thinking that way when he's dead." He finally admitted to what was eating at him.
"He left you." Gibbs commented calmly, not showing how glad he was that Tony was finally opening up a little. "You were his only child and he did nothing to make amends with you; to regain your trust and forgiveness; nobody can't blame you for being mad at him. He did take that chance away and he made many more mistakes with you."
"Still-"
"Anger is one of the stages of grief; you know it."
"And what? I skipped the first stage?" Tony looked at his boss askance; he was sure he hadn't gone to denial.
"It's different for each person. Let's hope you skip the next two stages as well and jump straight to acceptance." Gibbs replied wisely. "You just need to remember that you're not alone. You still have us. Have me." He added sincerely.
Tony was a little misty-eyed when he looked up and after a few seconds of staring at his boss -his friend-, he silently nodded his gratitude.
Acceptance seemed to be an approachable stage.
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And that's it!
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A/N: Share your thoughts with me?
Just please, no insulting the actor, Tony or us, his fans. Constructive criticism is definitely welcome.
Till the next one?
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I don't own the show and its characters (do you really think it'd gone that way if I owned anything related to the show?!); all mistakes are mine.