A/N

Hi there ! So this is my first ffiction, and also not in my langage. I'm french but i love reading the FFs in english, so it came naturely to me to start writting in english too. I hope i'll not make too much mistakes, i thank you in advance for your understanding :o)

I enjoy reading as many Cleka fiction as i can, like a lot, now is my turn to give and keep on nourishing the LOVE ! This's going to be a multi chapter fiction, 'cause as a reader i like to go deep in the reading for as long as i can - i figure i'm gonna do the same as i write!

I don't own the characters (...)

I hope you'll enjoy ^^

Chapter 1

'Klarke'

Of course it would be in a moment like that that they'd finaly meet. She closes her eyes with a quiet sign.

She's so tired, five days of hiking hard would do that to you. Well, to anyone who has grone up in a metalic box in space that is. Did she mention she was tired ? And yet, here she is, already involved in yet an other conflict. How touble seems able to find her is beyond Clarke. Even isolated in the deep woods in Lincoln's old cave where her friends knew to leave her alone, others decided to bug her out of her self-appointed self-loaded. Not that she mindes, really, since her ghosts had become a lot quieter once she started forgiving herself for all those death. Her new beliefs helped her as well. Her sporatic conversations and as much shared silences with Lincoln had helped her greatly, making her think that death, indeed, is not the end. Lincoln patiently explained it to her, the way of re-incarnation, the way of the soul and higher spirit leaving the physical body and moving on to another life. The idea was very soothing, it helped her to believe that all those dead by her hand would somehow keep on existing on an other level. She wasn't ashamed by what she had to do to keep her people safe, doing the extrem in the face of impossible situations twice - once at the dropship under attack, once at the mountain while her friends where drilled to death. She knew, even in despaire, that she had no other choice. In fact the only other choice would have been to give up and be killed. It has been that simple. Kill or be killed. So she killed.

So no, she didn't regret her actions, she just barred the loss of so many lives, warriors or children, all in the name of war and foolishness. All because people couln't communication, talk and negociate, instead they hade to take, hurt and violate without a care, and face the consequences. Jus drein jus daun, indeed.

Stupid.

Still, learning about souls and re-incarnation helps her to grive those who died by her hand. Surprisingly it wasn't so hard to believe in the after-life. She'd seen it in the Commander's eyes sometimes, the depth of her wisdom, the knowledge and the sorrow behind it, the compassion. The understanding. All of this in such a young person. Even here, lying on the durt struglling with short breath, she knows the minute she'll open her eyes she'll meet the same profond old soul to greet her. The soul of Heda.

'Lexa'

She's not bitter, just exhausted and thirsty. For five days she's been walking to the west, fallowing the movements of the sun, or the moss on the trees to find direction among the woods, observing the stars when she could keep on walking through the night. Many times she've sent a greatfull prier to her father, for teaching her the many things she knows about Earth. As if Jake predicted her coming on the precious planet. Vicious planet as well. He didn't plan much for that part.

'Heda, the water snake is gone now. Do you want to move out ?'

The Commander only nods her head once, and everything starts moving again. Well, the break was short, but Clarke is getting us to it. Her lazy days up on the Ark are very much over.

Lexa keeps her eyes on her, still lying on the ground, wet for nearly drowning only minutes ago. She tilts her head on the side without changing an inch of her facial expression. It is all it takes to make Clarke grumble under her breath and starts moving her suddenly heavy arms.

'All right.'

She knows the Grounders enough to know how shy of words they are. And for good reason, as it turns out, seeing how you could step into danger every step you took, from the various warry clans to the angry moving plants, big old scary trees and snaky freaking creatures wondering around without a sound. Yeah, Earth was a scary place. All the wonder she tasted when fist landing had fade away fast. So earing, here, is a key tool to surviving. And to ear you need to shut up and listen.

This tilting of the head thing that Lexa is currently doing means : 'are you standing on your own or do you need me to help you ?' Yes, all that with one little movement.

Clarke gets up on her shaky legs, sways a little and reaches out for balance, her hand landing directly on Lexa's shoulder. Instinctly their eyes meet and lock for a brief moment. Clarke knows Lexa is probably anxious about her, about her state of mind after Mount Wather. Even if nothing in her face or composture gives that impression away, Clarke knows, because being alone in that cave for four months, she came to the understanding that Lexa had many many layers. One of them, she was certain of it, hold all of her emotions, even those she didn't want to have. Like regret. A leader cannot aford to regret, he can only move on to the next task, hoping he'll do better this time around. Still, a part of her wares it, underneath the armor and the strong will, the regret, not to have done what was best, leaving the Sky people behind to fend to themself, but to leave Clarke behind, alone without her. Somehow along the way, Clarke and Lexa had become more, and that is the regret festering, deeply burred in the Commander's chest.

It is with this understanding that Clarke fills her lungs with new air, clean air. For the both of them. With a barely lifted corner of her mouth, she squezzes the Heda's shoulder and lets her eyes show. It is enough for Lexa's stiff posture to relax a little. Clarke is sure she ears a release of breath coming from the Commander's mouth as well.

Somehow, seeing the Commander shown a glimpse of her inner self makes Clarke's barely there grin turn into a starting smile. She finishes to regain her balance and takes her hand back, her body shivering. She doesn't know if it is from cold or if it is a way for her body to react at the loss of contact, missing the connexion. She doesn't want to analysethat, not now.

She ears a cliring of throat and a soft 'We need to go, Klark.' For a brief moment, Clarke closes her eyes and relishes of her name delivered by the voice she didn't realised she missed deeply. She knows they don't have time for this – as per usual – so she nods, feeling suddenly too emotional to speak. She is so, so tired already.

'Ouhou !' The cry is very much like any other chirping bird as far as Clarke is concern, but suddenly she is grabded roughly by the arm, forced to a crouch and leaded among the trees with speed. Not once the grip of Lexa's fingers reduces, her other hand waring her drawned sword.

Oh, right.

For a second between almost drowning and facing Lexa in a overwhelmed rush of aching reunion, she somehow forgot what brought her here in the first place.

The Commander stops and Clarke almost runs into her before mimicking the same position, hiding behing a bush. Their eyes meet and she is stricked by the force of those stormy green eyes. She sees the conflict, she sees the underlying pain it sets. She knows how to erase it. With a small smile she tries to be a mixt of understanding and encouragement – but she is pretty sure there is still some bitterness on it – she nods her agreement, puts her free hand atop Lexa's still on her other one, squeezes and removes the Commander's fingers off of her. Heda is needed.

'Stay here Klarke.'

Her voice is nothing more than a whisper, the order more of a pleading request. And she understands, of course Clarke understands, because she feels it too, deeply. She doesn't want to be separated, not again, not just when they had find each other again after all of this, not with the uncertainty of the Ground, of facing death at every corner. They want more time, they need more time, they deserve more time. But that wis not the reality of the Ground, that is a fantasy they need to let go of to survive, yet again.

'Beja Klarke...'

Lexa's voice is broken, her jaw tense, her eyes wet. But she won't shed a tear, she can't aford it. Maybe one day, they won't have to be so strong all the time. However, this day is not today.

With a watery smile of her own, Clarke answers with a voice as shattered as she feels.

'Ste yuj.'

She doesn't know much of Trigedasleng, but this one she picked up with the basics, thank's to Lincoln's frequent visits. Lexa's eyes light up at the words, but their fire become even more intense when Clarke then says : 'Come back to me, Heda.'

With that, she acknowledges that she is okay with Lexa being Heda and having to fallow her head and not her heart, as she said to her on the horrible night. She gives her her understanding and her acceptation. As much as she would like for them to be Clarke and Lexa, they are the leaders of their people when need be, like now. Her answer also says that she'll wait here, she will stay out of the fight, out of danger, she will be safe so Lexa can focus on the war without distraction. Distraction leads to death in an instant, and Clarke intends to protect Lexa as much as she can, even if right now it is by staying put and waiting for her return.

The Commander gives a quick order in Trigedasleng that Clarke's ear doesn't catch, but the hard stare Heda is giving to the three warriors close to them says it all. Lexa turns one last time to her, voice strong as the Commander of the Twelve Clans again.

'They will keep you safe.' Then she adds in a murmur just for her. 'I will come back Clarke. Wait for me.'

And Clarke knows, she knows that a promise like that means nothing in face of a battle, that a wrong move or a nasty cut bleeding too much too fast can so easely end a life, she knows there are no certainty ever - but still she believes Lexa, she has a unyielding faith singing in her veins, so strong that she almost chokes in surprise of her own reaction.

In an instant Heda disappears into the woods without a sound, deadly shadow on the hunt. It was only a few minutes ago that they were standing by the river, now Clarke and her three watchfull protectors stand motionless in silence, waiting for the fight that hasn't start yet to end.

A/N

All right so i am not a Trigedasleng user, i didn't find a dictionary and anyway i'm busy writting in english already ! So i'm gonna skeep the Trig langage and writing in italic, except for the easy words like 'beja' and such.

Hope you'll bare with me on this, i actually have no idea were i'm going in the story but i can assure you it's gonna be mostly a love one ;o)

_M_