Disclaimer: I own neither Halo nor Harry Potter.

AN: This started as a curious thought of where the characters from Halo would be sorted, and it kind of evolved from there.

For those of you who read my story Boot Camp All Over Again, I haven't dropped it. I just haven't had time because of college, but I haven't forgotten it.

The Master Chief slid off the train first, scanning the crowd of children for threats and lower-density areas that could serve as escape routes. Johnson trailed behind him, with Cortana matching him step-for-step.

The Arbiter brought up the rear. The children gave the sangheili a wide berth, some of them tripping over each other to do so.

The Chief gave a three-note whistle, their current all-clear signal. All of them relaxed slightly, though none of them dropped their guard.

Good, they're wary. We can't afford mistakes when – apparently – magic is real.

One month ago he'd woken up in a run-down house as an eleven-year-old, right beside the Arbiter, Johnson, and Cortana. A properly-aged Lord Hood and Dr. Halsey had later appeared with four letters offering the de-aged group a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That, coupled with important documents such as bank account papers and birth certificates for the humans, allowed them to go to the school.

At first all of them had been skeptical, had no idea what was going on, and didn't want to go to a "magic school". Somehow the got enrolled anyways. Personally, the Master Chief blamed Professor McGonagall.

"Firs' years! This way, please!" John pulled up short when he saw the man calling for the first years. He was absolutely massive, and not just in height, either. The man was rather intimidating, wrapped up in leather and fur with a wild look to him. Still, he was their guide.

Follow, he ordered with a deft hand signal. The Master Chief didn't have to look to know that his order was being followed. The first years scrambled over rocks in the dark towards the lake, most slipping over the wet stone.

A short light-haired boy slipped in front of him, and he deftly caught the boy. "Th-thanks."

"No problem." The boy stared at him for a moment before moving on.

Quickly the group came to the shore of a lake, the dark water lapping at the shoes of the soon-to-be-students.

"No more'n four to a boat!" The Chief glanced at their group and gave the hand signal to pile in. Everybody clambered into the boats without protest. Without any effort on their part the boats started off, gliding silently across the black water.

Shortly the first years rounded a bend, bringing Hogwarts into view. The castle was mildly striking. The actual children were gazing at it in awe, but he'd seen far more impressive.

"Watch 'yer heads!" He heeded the giant's advice and avoided smacking his head on the cliff. Who plans this? What if some mentally handicapped child wasn't paying attention and hit their head or fell in? The Chief understood that the appropriate answer was "magic", but there was no need for the risk in the first place. Just another example of how archaic these people are.

The time travelers clambered onto the shore in the cave and trailed behind the group as they moved forward. Rough-hewn stone became smooth walls as the first years made their wan into an antechamber.

An older woman with a severe bun opened the doors, the Chief recognized Professor McGonagall immediately. Hagrid quickly bustled off after she was introduced, and Professor McGonagall quickly described the concept of houses and their purpose. They had heard of the houses on the train, and frankly the concept was disturbing. The separation would make it harder to keep their identities secret, and security was going to be a nightmare.

The time travelers huddled together as the other first years muttered at each other.

"How are we going to deal with the houses?" The Chief's slight frown became more pronounced at Johnson's question.

"I don't know. Cortana, ideas?"

The former AI scowled. "Nothing yet. I'm running at a fraction of my previous speed, I can't come up with solutions like before."

Wonderful. "Anyone else?" Silence.

The door opened, revealing Professor McGonagall. They were out of time.

The Chief spoke up. "After the sorting, everyone meet up at whatever table has the most of us at it. Understood?"

A slew of affirmatives followed his order. The professor called for them to form a line, and they dispersed.

The Professor led them into the great hall. The room had five tables, four filled with students while the fifth was perpendicular to the others, and was clearly the staff table. The roof was obscured by a blanket of stars set into the night sky, an enchantment he'd read about in Hogwarts: A History.

Professor McGonagall walked to the center of the space in front of the staff table. She'd somehow acquired a three-legged stool and a battered hat without him noticing. He subtly signaled the others, they hadn't seen her pick them up either. Magic. This is going to get old.

The Professor set the stool down and placed the hat on it. For a moment nothing happened, and he quietly wondered if the woman was senile.

Suddenly, the hat twitched. Then shuffled. Then it started singing.

What the Hell? It was a legitimate question. It was a hat, but it was singing. Why was there a singing hat? No matter what it was for, the idea of a talking hat was stupid. A singing one… made even less sense. Magic would be the death of him.

The sorting was apparently done in alphabetical order by last name, but the insanity of wizardry meant that Professor McGonagall called them by putting their first name before their last name. The lack of common sense was giving him a headache. Finally, their group started getting sorted.

"Cortana Halsey!" John felt his heart beat a little faster as his nerves started to twitch. Out of all of them, Cortana was the least able to take care of herself. She was his partner, and he worried about her.

"RAVENCALW!" Well, that figured.

"Avery Johnson!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" After surviving two halos without panicking once, he'd earned that title.

"John Spartan!"

Ignoring the crowd he mentally prepared himself for whatever challenge lay ahead. It's definitely some sort of mental test, but there's nothing else to go on besides what a talking hat said. Walking up to the stool he put the hat on his head and sat down, wondering how this worked.

"Ah, another one."

After having experienced Cortana's connection to him via neural interface, he recognized the feeling of having something else in his head.

"Get out."

"So rude, too."

Unsure of what to do, he hesitated while the hat began skimming the surface of his emotions. The scrap of cloth wasn't doing anything threatening, but it could supposedly read minds.

"If you try to read my mind I'll set you on fire."

The hat huffed. "All of your friends threatened the exact same thing. Don't worry, I can't. I judge character, not actions."

He didn't have a response to that and was quiet while the hat muttered its thoughts.

"Let's see, a sharp mind, yes, but no thirst for knowledge. Oh you hoard it, yes, but you don't love knowledge for knowledge's sake. Crafty too, but not exactly… subtle. No, you wouldn't do well in Slytherin at all."

The hat paused for a moment. "Hmm. Plenty of courage, you're quite confident, aren't you? Gryffindor would be a good fit but… All of that courage and planning and knowledge work towards something, don't they? Yes, you're perfect for-"

"HUFFLEPUFF!" …What?

"Like I said, all of that effort is going towards something. In your case, protecting your loved ones. Enjoy the house of loyalty, Mr. Spartan."

The Master Chief mentally shrugged before striding to the Hufflepuff table. The analysis of his character really did fit. All of the Spartan-IIs had been taught from a young age loyalty to the UNSC, to their teammates, to humanity in general. There was nothing he wouldn't do for someone he cared about, such as charging into flood-infested shipwrecks in search of Cortana.

"Thel 'Vadam!" The Professor completely mangled the pronunciation, causing the time travelers to wince. The sangheili stalked to the stool irritably. It was clear he had been offended.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The lions didn't cheer nearly as enthusiastically for him as they had the others. They probably didn't know what to make of the sangheili.

Their attention focused on the Headmaster as he stood. "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

The four of them spared a moment to stare at the man, wondering if he was entirely sane. Quickly though, the Chief and Cortana made a beeline for their companions in Gryffindor. The others at the table put up a fuss as he forced the Potter kid to scoot down two spaces. Cortana sat beside him, with the Arbiter across from her and Johnson across from the Chief.

"We need somewhere more private, we can't have anyone overhearing us." Johnson growled.

"We're not going to get that tonight." Cortana's interjection was met with a scowl.

"Explain."

"Well," Cortana started, "It's the evening, and all of the students will be full from the feast, and for us it's our first day in a giant castle they have no knowledge of. Any unsupervised first year could wander off, get lost, and spend the night in a corridor. Not a great introduction to your new school."

"So what then? We're not gonna be able to sneak out tonight, are we going to wait until tomorrow?" Johnson's tone clearly stated what he thought of that.

"We don't have a choice." Cortana snapped at him. "So suck it up and deal."

The Arbiter eyed the food before them. "Construct, once you are done arguing with Johnson, would you kindly inform me on what's before us?"

"It's food." The Chief replied. He'd spent his entire life eating military food, this was gourmet in comparison. Which was one of the reasons he was piling his plate with a healthy balance of dishes.

Cortana rolled her eyes. "That's like pointing at a rose and saying that it's a plant. Arbiter, don't listen to the caveman. He wouldn't know good eating if it hit him in the face."

Cortana spent the rest of the night describing dishes to the Arbiter with Johnson offering commentary. The Chief downed his meal without really savoring it, which caused Cortana to snap at him. All of the other students around them kept sneaking glances at the strange group, but nobody introduced themselves.

For the house of bravery, they sure were skittish.

The next morning saw the four of them sitting at the Hufflepuff table, planning over the best course of action over breakfast.

"We can't afford to be kept apart." The Master Chief growled near the end of the feast. "Sleeping in separate dorms keeps us from setting up a watch, meaning that we're easy targets each night. On top of that if someone goes through our trunks there will be trouble."

Cortana nodded at his assessment. "What we need is someplace we can spend the night together."

"But the teachers aren't going to just let us sleep elsewhere." Johnson argued. "And I don't know about you, but I'm not sneaking out every night and traipsing through a dark castle."

The Arbiter hummed in agreement. "There is too much room for error. I also do not think the repercussions for disobedience will be easy to put up with. We will need permission."

Cortana scowled. "Like that's likely to happen. I say we ask, but if they say no we go ahead with it anyways. We'll put up with whatever punishment they come up with but let them know that we're not stopping."

"They might let us if we have a good enough reason." Johnson added. "Maybe something medical. That always scares the crap out of instructors."

By the end of breakfast they had a plan. Cortana asked Professor McGonagall about them having a separate living arrangement because the Chief had separation anxiety in regards to her and the Arbiter occasionally attacked people when he woke up and the three of them were the only ones who could keep him from killing them so could they please have separate quarters?

The Chief hated the "separation anxiety" part. Even if it had a grain of truth to it. Still, it got them the room provided Lord Hood and Dr. Halsey gave written permission, so he'd put up with it.

Five Years and Three Months Later, During Sixth Year…

John leaned back against the Gryffindor table, his feet stretched out into the aisle. Cortana was pressed up against his side, with his arm around her shoulders. Thel and Johnson were bickering next to them, it was obviously some prank final stages of development. Whoever their target was were in for a big surprise.

"Hey John, did Lord Hood say weather Dr. Halsey was coming or not?"

It took a moment for Johnson's question to register. "Yeah, why?"

The Sergeant and the Arbiter wore twin smiles that promised humiliation to someone. "Oh, no reason. Just thought we should give Hogwarts a farewell to remember. After all, Lord Hood was pissed with that Umbridge woman from last year."

John still had "I will obey my betters." carved into his hand. It was fading and would disappear, but Cortana had been furious. He thought it was better than having his girlfriend doing the lines.

Girlfriend. The thought sent a burst of warmth through him, even as he glanced at the A.I.-turned-human at his side. It had taken him over four years to sort out what he was feeling, and then work up the courage to ask her out, but it was worth every second of the confusing, soul-searching torture it had taken to get there.

And he was never letting go again.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he returned to what Johnson was talking about. "You three obviously have plans. Care to share them, or are we going in blind?"

Thel's smirk became concerning. "Lord Hood and Dr. Halsey will come in and order us back on duty. Dr. Halsey will then break the enchantment on us, before Lord Hood gives the nishum a dressing-down. We are to improvise as we see fit."

He briefly considered it before deciding it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. "Got it. I'll make sure to mention nearly getting my soul sucked out by those damn dementors."

Six years ago he wouldn't have gotten any joy out of their prank. However, six years spent as a child attending a magic school with two of his supposedly-dead best friends and a respected acquaintance had loosened him up. After all, Hogwarts was surprisingly boring most of the time, and Johnson had decided to liven it up for them. Everything else was purely self-preservation.

Johnson cackled wickedly while Thel gave his patented sangheili-grin. It was terrifying.

Professor McGonagall paled dramatically at the sight of one of her lions doing a dance while his partner-in-crime looked victorious. Up and down the staff table the news traveled; watch out, the terrible two were up to no good.

It was fifteen minutes into lunch when someone cleared their throats at the entrance to the Great Hall. John and the others glanced over to see Admiral Hood in all his glory with Dr. Halsey just behind him.

"Attention on deck!" The Chief barked. He, Johnson, and Cortana jumped up and stood at attention. The Arbiter stood more slowly, straightening himself in a dignified fashion.

The eyes of the entirety of Hogwarts were on the foursome. "Hermione, what's going on?" Potter whispered down the table.

"I've no idea."

Hood ignored the audience, focusing entirely on the group of time-travelers. "At ease. I hope you four enjoyed shore leave, because we're all back on active duty. You're to return to your normal ages at once and prepare to ship out."

Three "Yes sir!"s jumped from the humans' mouths, while the Arbiter nodded.

Admiral Hood gestured Dr. Halsey forward, standing at ease behind her. The foursome stepped forward to meet her, Cortana reaching for the potions Dr. Halsey was proffering and listening to the doctor's explanation of the counter. John halfheartedly listened as he cast expanding charms on all of his clothes. There was no chance they would survive the counter without them.

John drank his potion, downing the foul liquid as fast as he could. Almost immediately he could feel strands of magic breaking off, torn away by the potion's effect. The Chief staggered as his body expanded, grimacing at the pain that accompanied it.

As he finished growing he took stock of the others. Johnson and the Arbiter appeared as they had before, the Arbiter appeared uncomfortable while Johnson was struggling to not swear profusely. Cortana appeared to be a human version of her hologram, with black hair and electric blue eyes that held only traces of pain.

"Everyone alright?"

Four affirmatives answered Admiral Hood. The man curtly nodded before turning to the rather stunned staff table. "I must say I'm impressed. Six years and five threats to the safety of these four. They haven't been in this much danger since the Flood."

The four ex-students shuddered at the mention of the parasite. "They will be withdrawn from Hogwarts and returning to active duty effective immediately. Blue Team, any parting words?"

"Yes sir." The Master Chief had never been very vocal, and six years in school hadn't helped a much. Yet he had plenty to say to these people, he had for a long time.

"From day one we were ostracized and preyed upon because we were different. No effort was ever made to get to know us, and I can honestly say I'll be very happy if none of us ever see you again. Us four, we're soldiers. We've been fighting in war for most of our lives. If anyone had asked we probably would've agreed to help you with your dark lord. At this point nothing you have to offer would convince us to help." Most of the students and staff looked stricken by that.

"In our third year we had to constantly put up with reliving flashbacks to the war and to the deaths of our friends and families. Last year we were repeatedly tortured by one of the teachers and nothing was done about it. Right now, as it is, none of us will lift a finger to save any of you. Give Voldemort my regards, he was the only one who didn't cause us harm."

With that he turned around and marched out the doors to the Great Hall. There was a stunned silence behind him; silence from Hogwarts at his declaration, silence from his friends at the length of his speech. It'd been under construction since second year, he was happy he got the chance to use it.

Johnson's voice broke the quiet. "I'm with the Chief, magic sucks. Let's blow this joint."

The rest of Blue Team followed him out. Dr. Halsey trailed behind them, and Admiral Hood followed beside her.

"I'd never have guessed that you'd be quite the orator." He glanced at Cortana's playful smirk.

"Don't expect anything like that again. I started that speech back in second year."

Cortana giggled while the Arbiter and Johnson cracked up. Lord Hood rolled his eyes. The UNSC and the Separatists were in for quite the shock once these four got back.

The Master Chief smirked at his friends. "Alright, enough fun. Let's go home."

Nishum: An intestinal parasite. The sangheili call humans this as an insult. In this case, the Arbiter was referring to Dumbledore as he has committed multiple acts that endangered the children of Hogwarts and - more importantly - his friends.

Explanation of the Houses:

Arbiter: The sangheili is an honorable race, and the Arbiter displays such honor. He also has no reservations about entering a fight if he thinks it's worthwhile. As a final point, he was brave enough to willingly change his whole outlook on life to work with the humans he previously slaughtered.

Avery Johnson: What can I say? He's in the thick of every fight, doesn't back down, and isn't afraid to be friends with a Spartan when the rest of the UNSC is terrified of them on some level.

Cortana: She was an A.I. Information is an A.I.'s lifeblood. She was always the brain between her and the Chief, and she always either had answers or knew where to get them.

Master Chief: This one was a little trickier. Slytherin and Ravenclaw were out because – as mentioned – the Chief doesn't do subtle, and while he's actually quite smart that's not his focus. A good case could be made for him being a Gryffindor with his willingness to charge into battle time and time again, but I don't think that those are his main traits. The two qualities that always stick out about him are that he's incredibly stubborn, and he's incredibly loyal to his friends. Hufflepuff is for the hardworking - which his stubbornness feeds right into - and the loyal.

If anyone thinks differently about where I put these four please let me know. I'd love to hear others takes on this.