Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY.

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AWR: After Writing Review

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So as has been mentioned a few times, this story first started as a fill for The Writer Games, the anthology thing on my profile in which Coeur and I challenge eachother to come up with plots from a prompt. This was chapter 53. If you haven't read it yet- please do so now.

Done yet? I'll wait.

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Alright, assuming you've seen it, and Coeur's initial review. Scathing, yes? You can understand the controversy.

The first reception wasn't my intent, and so as part of re-do week I wanted to do this... and it ballooned into this monster. In Writing Games tradition, Coeur kindly gave me his assessment, and I'll add my own afterwards.

Let's see how Coeur really thinks I did this time.

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Coeur's Critique

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Meet the Arcs, eh? Well, anyone who has been reading the Writer Games knew my first response to this. I suppose the word "scathing" might be appropriate. Though equally so might be "Holy sh it Coeur! Pull your claws in a little, won't you?! Somebody call an ambulance!"

Let's look over some of the biggest complaints I had briefly, and how College Fool has gone about either correcting them, changing them - or in some cases - keeping them, but altering other things, to make them strengths, rather than weaknesses. Because you don't have to remove things that are bad, you can instead "tweak" things - to make them good.

Some of the mistakes CF made weren't really... well, mistakes. At least not to include them, it was simply that their execution was so very delicate, and they were a little off. Like a painting in a hallway that is slightly wonky - so that every time you walk past you can't help but grit your teeth and want to just TEAR DOWN THE WHOLE DAMN WALL!

Ahem...

College Fool might notice other things, this has been a long time since I read the original, so a few might be missed out.

1) One of the biggest complaints I had about the original story was that Jaune felt too absent from Ruby. He spent a lot of it in the background talking with his parents, buying her a ring, romantic stuff, don't get me wrong. But he didn't spend any of that time helping his girlfriend through the troubles she was going through. While some of this could be forgiven as him not realising them - such as Ruby's self confidence issues - others, he showed signs of noticing. Such as the hazing and bullying, and at the end, he even admitted to having known all along - but done nothing.

College Fool adapted and changed the story here to make Jaune a bigger character. And did this in two ways. Firstly by introducing a dynamic of the Family Dinner - a chance for Ruby and Jaune to be together early on. But also through constant meetings between them in the evenings, almost as though the two were recapping their day.

This makes the love they share much stronger, as it's clear Ruby can and does rely on Jaune, but he also does the same to her. There is trust, and more importantly - there is attention. Jaune notices that things are wrong, and does two things - he tries to stop his family members - but even if that does or doesn't work, he STILL also goes to try and comfort Ruby. Which is important.

2) This ties into the above, but the original had literally every single person against Ruby - each sister hated only her. This not only led to a rather bizarre sort of situation, wherein each sister shares the same opinion (a little odd with so many people!) but also left Jaune in the background. With no real antagonist for him, he was neglected and invisible.

CF took a little advice here from my review of the original, and some comments we shared, and spread the conflict out a little. Some sisters are angry with Jaune, they're still issues for Ruby - as they veto her nonetheless, but they aren't antagonistic to her. Instead they are things Jaune needs to solve, which not only brings him into the limelight... but actually leads to the two sharing more romantic moments. Specifically, Jaune and Ruby have their little recap sessions BECAUSE they are both going through the same thing. They sympathise with one another, because they are working together.

In the original, it often felt like Ruby was doing all the work, while Jaune ignored hr plight. Weakening the romance, and even leading to a suggestion of apathy on Jaune's part. That is much more absent here.

3) The Dreaded Ranking System - Oh boy, people know how much I hated this. A mind game, an ego-attacker, cruel to both the Arc family and Ruby. Sisters have to deal with being of lesser emotional importance than their siblings, those higher up (Envy) start to focus too MUCH on the ranking system, believing it as gospel. And poor Ruby has to be constantly told she is less important than eight other women.

In the original this was never really solved or addressed in any way, and became one of the final nails in the coffin for Jaune. College Fool didn't remove it however... which might seem like a mistake, until the last chapter. Instead, the story now goes to actually show some of the weaknesses of the ranking system, how it causes conflict, how it hurt Ruby - to the point that she makes him promise to never apply it to their family. It's flawed, and CF allowed Ruby and Jaune to realise that.

This turns it from "something that makes me furious" to "something that makes me nod, and congratulate the two for overcoming it" - which is brilliant. Hopefully the whole family will learn to as well, with Envy realising that numbers and rankings don't mean anything - and she'll grow up to be less... well, jealous.

4) The Final Nail in the coffin for Jaune - the ultimate killer - upon which I would have killed him. Was the moment in the original where he admitted to knowing all about the abuse Ruby went through, but that he chose not to intervene. Now, i can't remember if CF "said" in the text if it was a test, or if that's just the obvious conclusion we were forced to come to.

But it was disastrous! Because it just showed that he was willing to sit back and allow Ruby to go through emotional pain, all for the benefit of a family she shouldn't have to do it before. While he watches on, judging.

It was cruel, despicable... and CF took the only (and correct) decision with this one. And just sort of threw it away. Sure, there are now hints that Jaune knows - but he helps, he acts. And when he finds out what his mother said, he responds with true anger and indignation. Which is one of THE best moments in the fic. Literally, I can imagine so many people shouting their support for him right there.

And the story would have been weaker without it. This is the kind of story which is SUPPOSED to make you dislike the characters. You are meant to initially dislike them, but as their reasons and flaws are revealed - you slowly start to forgive and understand them, as they do the main character. But as a reward for you (the reader) putting up with all that dislike and negative emotions, you usually are rewarded with a scene like this. Where the hero steps in and defeats the dragon - even if it's metaphorical talk for outdated beliefs.

Good job CF!

Those were the individual points I can recall, and it's worth noting that few of these (apart from the last one) were enough to make me individually hulk out. But rather, it was the fact that they were too synergistic.

Jaune's absence made his lack of care for Ruby feel possible, which then combined with his ranking system to suggest he was classing her as a person of lesser importance. Which then hit the whole hazing and abuse angle, to make it feel like the FAMILY was considering her less than human.

It was a cask of explosives, which was set off by Jaune's admittance that he knew all along, but hey - here's a ring - let's get married! It honestly felt like he was trying to bully her into accepting, and when she did... I wanted to explode.

Now, however, everything is different - so let's consider what's changed, shall we?

Jaune has reconnected with his family, but more than that - Ruby has personally helped him do so. Ruby has also gone on to aid a few of the members directly, including Avarice who will now work with Weiss, Wrath - and by pulling apart the ranking system, Envy.

Jaune stuck with Ruby the whole way through, trying to help her with Envy, while fighting his own battles. It feels like the two are in the doghouse, which is apt for the situation. Jaune ran away from home, and risked his life on a childish ideal. That it "worked out" is of no consideration, he definitely wronged his family. Something I've gone on to say in One Good Turn, a lot!

And this is much more believable than the older version, where everyone seems to blame Ruby. xD - But more than that, it means Jaune has a purpose in the plot, other than as the damsel Prince Ruby gets at the end of the story for putting up with the eight wicked witches.

Similarly, come the end, where the proposal happens. Ruby's acceptance makes sense. Jaune has stood by her, as she has emerged both a little bruised, but happy for what has happened. And you know what, I like that Leandra never really approves - or that Jaune doesn't care. Some may forget that she was the "no.2" girl in the ranking system, and having her still disapprove is important to me. Because it shows that, at the end, Jaune's threat to ignore the system and run away again, wasn't a bluff.

Yes, there is a tendency to hate her - so "maybe" that could have been improved. But it would have required a deus ex machina, and I hate those. So I'm happy with it as it is.

All in all, I think this went so much better than the original, and there's not much else to say, really. Yes, the Arc family is weird as hell, but whatever - you probably couldn't have had it be normal. Unless you went with a "meet the fokkers" approach, where Ruby's clumsiness makes them start to dislike her. Which could have worked as a story too.

Maybe one where they initially all like her, and she's all "yes, I've got this!" But as she keeps trying to impress them, she starts to mess up, turning each against her by accident - because she's trying too hard!

Then at the end Envy has her near-death moment, and it's once again Ruby who saves her, and the family accepts her. With Jaune saying that she doesn't need to try to be someone she isn't, because he loves her. And his family loved that Ruby too.

But those were the two angles. Serious drama angst or rom-com.

I won't say this is CF's best prompt or fic, but I would say it's CF's best "romance" fic to date, in my eyes at least.

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College Fool's Self-Analysis

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Coeur hit the big points and specific points. With the exception of flaw four- which was a truly boneheaded last-minute addition on my part because I somehow thought Jaune not realizing Ruby's difficulty would be worse than standing by during a hazing- there's no much to add except a bit about the Top Ten, which got the most hate before and the most extreme skepticism during this fic's positing.

Top Ten is a joke of Jaune's, but was never played for comedy. It's supposed to be unsettling, uncomfortable- but it's not some mere plot device. It is, in fact, the plot- in spirit, even if you buried all mentions of a list. Meet the Arcs is a story about reconciling two priorities- love and family- and wondering which comes first. They're both beliefs with significant cultural backing. Some believe that love should rise above any obstacle and come before anyone else- and that anyone objecting (or allowing anyone to be an obstacle) disqualifies them from consideration. Others believe family is most important: that family endures even when marriages wither and rock and love fade, and that family first is family always.

Neither of those are particularly objectable. In fact, most people value both- caring for family and love. It only becomes messy when you take two good things and ask 'well, what comes first?' That's what Top Ten does, and why it bothers people: people prefer to avoid being asked hard questions, and having an answer of just who is most important to you is uncomfortable. Especially if you want the answer to be 'love', and the counter-answer is a Very Big Family that pushes you out of any romantic runner up position.

That's what the Top Ten is in a nutshell- who comes first, family or love. No matter what your answer is, there's only one top of the mountain, and only first place finisher, and everyone else loses. Either that girl or boy you've dated for a handful of years isn't more important than your family, or the people you've known (and presumably loved) all your life are suddenly less important than some outsider who's come and known you and your flaws for a fraction of the time. It's an uncomfortable question to answer- but then, priorities dearly held are usually the hardest to stack.

I don't believe there is a universal right or wrong answer. I grew up with a great family- family matters a lot to me. Someone who grew up in a bad household, or no household at all, might feel differently. The point of Meet the Arcs wasn't to claim which is best- the point of Meet the Arcs was that love and family can be reconciled if you have the right people.

Ruby overcomes opposition because she puts love first, rather than abandon the effort and Jaune because of poor first impressions. Jaune, no matter his flaw as a boyfriend for tactlessly putting family first, has a viewpoint that's perfectly compatible with both family and love. Obviously not everyone is going to have such wonderful significant others, or a family willing to change it's mind and be won over, but it's not impossible.

That's why having a flawed cast was important to me, even if a number of people objected or thought it ruined the story. That Jaune was a horrible boyfriend for his ignorant offensiveness with the Top Ten and not putting Ruby first above all else, that the Arcs were abusive and threatenings and wrong for not liking Ruby from the start, and that Ruby should have walked out and left the Arcs (and even Jaune) rather than put up with... well, anything.

If the goal was for a perfect cast of perfect people, or if this were a romantic comedy where everyone should be funny and smiling, that might be an improvement. But it's not- this isn't a comedy, but a character drama, and so people wanting it to be were always going to be disappointed.

Instead, the flawed characters are key to the morals and themes of both love and family. We don't fall in love with perfect people. We aren't born into perfect families. And we certainly don't overcome problems with the two (or between the two) by avoiding conflict and refusing to try to make things better. Sticking around for only perfect people is no way to run a relationship or keep a family.

If Ruby had done what some people wished- simply left the Arcs rather than put up with their initial offenses or objections- there's a pretty simple and not at all pretty answer about what would have happened. Assuming she didn't do it in a way that made her the total villain and worse than them, Jaune would probably have followed her, a seemingly happy outcome, but both of them would have poisoned the relationships they claimed to care for. Ruby would have hurt love (Jaune) worse than he ever did her by disregarding things he cared about, and Jaune would have the breakup with family lingering over him for any family he could ever have with Ruby.

Worst of all, neither would have matured. Ruby would still be the conflict-avoidant, insecure girl who wouldn't actually bring up or try to solve any of the inevitable problems of life with someone else, and Jaune wouldn't come to a better balancing of love and family when he's forced to choose one or the other. The next time there's a conflict- and a serious relationship can't pretend there won't be- they'd be even worse suited to cope with it.

Just think about how bad a character story that would have been- and how bad it would have been on even Ruby's terms if she moved to abandon a relationship of three plus years on... what amounts to a bad dinner, disapproving parents, and a couple of sisters who could be befriended if she'd stuck around to talk to them for, like, a day each?

If Ruby couldn't overcome that little, then something (pride, ego) was clearly coming before love- or what love she did have was brittle, if it could be ruined so easily. At which point, the family would have been right to doubt her.

But they weren't, because Ruby was strong and her and Jaune's relationship strong enough to overcome like overcoming anything requires- effort and a bit of work and some self-improvement along the way. Love- be it for family or someone else- always requires a bit of forgiveness and acceptance of their flaws along the way, or else it will never last. That's why strong bonds are strong, and why they're impressive and admirable- not because they never face challenge, but because they overcome. A story of Ruby and Jaune having no issues and meeting family who are charming and funny and instantly accept them might be sweet as cotton candy... but it'd be about as weak, no matter how many punchlines or comedic misunderstandings.

But enough with that- I've said my peace, and presented what I failed to do the first time. Coeur said this was my best romance story yet- I'm not so sure, but I'm definitely proud of it. Even of the controversial bits that get people objecting.

Let's see how I can do better on both those parts going forward.