Chapter 48 - The Little Moments

A/N: I do not own the Naruto Franchise!

I do however own Mari Kaede and any other OCs mentioned.

Warnings: Contains dark themes, such as depression, murder, experimentation, emotional, mental and physical torture, possible attempted suicide and mentions of sexual activities!

At this point, I also want to point out that the relationship between these two characters is actually toxic if you are in a similar situation please seek help, it is not healthy and it won't end the same way this story will end.

I do not condone these kinds of relationships, despite writing this story.

Hey guys, I got this chapter done relatively quickly, all things considered. I was writing other fics before this, so that's why the update is a long time coming.

Anyway, enjoy!

On that cold night in the middle of the barren Savannah that usually remained peaceful and silent as the moon rose above, there was a stirring within the hidden home of the Otogakure shinobi and their esteemed leader. A primal, instinctual ritual took place within the confines of the Sannin's bedroom. A primitive, yet intimate dance that, despite the evolution of mankind, remained the same throughout the many millennia man walked the Earth.

Kaede dropped down onto the sheets of Orochimaru's bed as the man himself collapsed on top of her, barely stopping himself from crushing her completely by planting his arms on each side of her head, propped up on his elbows as the two tried to catch their breath from their so-called 'dance.' Their eyes locked, chocolate on gold as the Sannin's long, black locks fell from his back over his shoulders, blanketing them in a curtain that blocked out the rest of the world from view.

Usually, they would stand up and return to their own rooms, just as they had every time they indulged in the agreement, but tonight, something was a little different. Neither of them moved at first, as if trapped in a spell that would not quite let them go. Kaede's eyes darted from his to a bead of sweat sliding down his cheek, unsure what to do or say to move past this silence.

However, Orochimaru snapped out of it, he rolled over and off of her warm skin. He stood up as Kaede's expression switched to a glare, knowing she would have to get up, despite her legs feeling like jelly. "Hm, hm, you know how this ends." He told her playfully as he walked towards his bathroom, collecting the yukata that hung on the door to his bathroom. "You're dismissed, get back to your room and clean yourself up."

"Oh you're such a romantic." Kaede blurted out sarcastically, taking her sweet time as she groaned and lifted herself into a sitting position, looking over as the man himself chuckled, titling his head to the side while he held the Yukata over his arm, effectively covering himself in the process.

"If I didn't know you well, I'd say you were disappointed, Firecracker~!" His thin black brow arched as that sinister, yet seductive smirk curled his lips. "If I remember correctly, you agreed that no romantic sentiments would be shared?" His eyes darkened slightly. "I will not allow this to devolve into juvenile infatuation on your part, don't test my patience with foolish talks of 'romance' and 'affection.'" He chuckled again, though it was a little sharper than before. "I have neither the time nor interest in such petty desires."

"Heh, like I'd want y'to be romantic with me!" Kaede sneered, standing up as she shot the Sannin a cheeky, bold grin, of course she was being sarcastic, and he knew that, he merely wanted to get a rise out of her. "Hell ain't going t'freeze over yet, and I ain't going t'let it! Like y'said, this is sex, plain and simple, don't mess with it if it ain't broken."

"Hm, hm, hm, exactly~." Orochimaru gestured to the door and Kaede show him a mock leer.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd say y'wanted me out."

"Perhaps you know me very little, as that is exactly what I desire."

Kaede laughed. "You're just as much of an ass as the day I met you!" She jabbed, slipping into her bodysuit and collecting her sandals and robe off the floor. "A toad's got more class than you, and that's saying something!"

"Now we both know you're speaking lies." Orochimaru watched her, tilting his head to the side further as she walked over to the door, stopping to hear his words, her hand on the wooden frame. "Otherwise you wouldn't be leaving my room in the dead of night with your clothes in your hands, would you?"

"Heh, maybe you're just dreaming~!" She gave him a mock salute and walked out of the room, not even bothering to close the door. "Goodnight Snake-Eyes! Try not to miss me while I'm gone!"

"Hm, hm, you underestimate my ability to ignore your existence, my dear."

And with that, she heard his bedroom door close, but did nothing to look back and ensure that was the case. She knew Orochimaru well enough to know he was certain that she would not accept romantic attraction, whether it be from him or herself. Though her hatred of him was dwindling as the days passed, she was not a fool and kept herself in check. Of course, she was not worried, she knew falling for her tormentor was near impossible, and despite feeling some begrudging respect and compassion towards him as a human being, that was as far as it went.

And both sides would not have it any other way.

Kaede opened her bedroom door and tossed her robe and sandals in the corner of the barely furnished room. She then walked over to the bed and simply dropped onto the sheets, closing her eyes and letting herself relax for the first time that day. Though her thoughts faded and she dismissed the topic all together, in the back of her mind; deep within her subconscious, she noticed just how small her bed was in comparison to his, and how cold it was from lack of use.

In time, that small detail would plague her every thought, but being the stubborn fool she was, she did not have the insight to catch this small ember and snuff it out before it turned into a roaring flame.

~BHBL~

A good two weeks passed and Kaede sat in the small kitchen Otogakure housed. She had strewn herself across the table, with a bowl of curry, a pile of books and a drink. Her feet rested on the wooden edge of the table as she leaned back on two legs of the chair she sat on, reading her most recent volume of Icha Icha Paradise, despite having finished it twice at this point, at the very least. Every so often, she would take a spoonful of curry and shovel it in during her reading, and due to this, her fingers left several orange stains on the once pristine parchment. Of course, she did not care, as long as she could still read its words, then it was in mint condition as far as she was concerned.

The door to the kitchen opened after a moment of chewing and a sip of her drink. The Ninjutsu expert peeked over the top of her book to see who entered the room and saw it was the esteemed leader of Otogakure himself. Without giving it much thought, she turned her attention back to the book without so much as a 'hello' from either of them.

Orochimaru glanced at her and the mess she made before walking over to the pantry, collecting the eggs and the utensils he needed before going to the stove, switching it on with a few clicks of the gas lighter that once hid in the drawer to the right of the machine. Once that was done, the cold, calculated man took an egg and dropped it into a pot of boiling water, he then went about buttering some bread and preparing a small breakfast setup for himself, along with some tea.

He liked simple meals, and a boiled egg with some green tea had always been his ideal start to a day.

While the egg was boiling, the Sannin turned and looked over at Kaede again, who was engrossed in her book. With a chuckle, he spoke up, breaking her concentration away from the page. "I can't fathom your strange obsession with those pathetic novels." He started, shrugging a shoulder with an outstretched arm. "The words are meager fantasies from a fool with no class, do you not find them boring?"

"I don't know how y'can read those Kinjutsu Scrolls of your's." Kaede parroted back, grinning behind the leather cover. "They're so long, and complicated, don't y'find them boring?"

The two chuckled, and Orochimaru looked back at his meal, carefully taking the pot off the lit stove, before turning off the gas, extinguishing the flame. "My literary choices reflect a thirst for knowledge and understanding, while your's..." He glanced over and his smirk widened when she peeked at him over her pages once again. "Reflect a more primitive thirst."

"Yeah, a thirst y'find yourself demanding almost every night."

"Hm, hm, isn't it better to experience quelling your thirsts, rather than taunt yourself with a satisfaction you can't grasp?"

"Heh, who said I was satisfied?"

Orochimaru hummed, carefully picking the egg out of the water with a slotted spoon, then using his sharpened fingernails to move it into an egg cup, the water's heat nothing compared to that of Katon Jutsu. "Your moans and reactions tell me everything I need to know." When he glanced back, he saw the tips of her ears go pink, and this turned his smirk into an arrogant grin, he had won their little back-and-forth.

"Doesn't mean I ain't faking them." She retorted as he lifted his plate and sauntered over to the table, sitting on the opposite side as she settled back on four legs, lifting her feet off the table so he could eat in peace. It was surprisingly polite on her part, but he chalked it up to her being content and comfortable due to her reading. "Y'ain't had much action before me, so y'might not know when someone's faking!"

"Hm, hm, you underestimate my sexual prowess, Firecracker." Orochimaru told her, cracking the egg with a much smaller spoon, before taking the top off. "I've had many experiences prior your arrival, and I will have many more after."

Kaede's gut sank slightly with those words, though she assumed it was because he had caught her little lie and figured out that he was actually the best 'stress relief' she had ever experienced, and that included when her ex-husband was a doting, loving man. No, she did not care if he ended up moving on to another person, it was in his nature to use people until he got bored, then toss them aside for something new.

"Anyway, I ain't in the mood to talk 'bout sex over my breakfast." She said, clearing her throat as she closed her book and placed it at the top of her hefty pile, before moving her bowl closer. "I want t'keep this one down~!"

"Hm, hm, of course you do." He teased, knowing full well that she was uncomfortable, and relishing in her flustered reactions. "Though I doubt that qualifies as 'breakfast.'"

Kaede hummed and followed his eyes to the curry, then let out a laugh and grinned around a spoonful as she shoveled it into her mouth. "What, don't y'like curry, Orochimaru-sama?" She asked, her mouth full of food.

"That depends on the kind of curry. Your preference for pre-made meals has always eluded my understanding." He dipped his bread into the yolk of the egg, eating it with a surprising amount of elegance before he continued, making sure his mouth was void of food, unlike her own. "I've never met someone who pushes aside a homemade meal in favor of a packaged, and rather bland, alternative."

"Heh, I ain't exactly patient, Orochimaru-sama." Kaede pointed out, tipping the end of her spoon to the man, before waving it around like a composer as she continued. "Why would I come home from a hard mission and slave over a stove for the next hour when I've got a perfectly good curry in the cupboard?"

"Hm, hm, there are many things you aren't Kaede, patient being one of them." Orochimaru teased, finishing his bread before he peeled the shell from his egg. "Silent being another."

"I ain't going t'change that anytime soon either!" She grinned and finished her curry, picking up her bowl and walking towards the sink, while Orochimaru watched her over his shoulder. "What'd y'do if I stopped giving you a hard time, eh? How boring would that be?"

"Boring is not the word I'd use in that situation..."

Kaede spun around after dumping her bowl in the water, gripping the counter as she continued to talk to him, though at this point, he had moved his attention back to his own meal so she was more-or-less talking to the back of his head. "Y'ain't got anyone else t'blame but yourself! If y'hadn't kidnapped me for experiments, then y'wouldn't be dealing with my attitude now, would you?"

"Perhaps this is a punishment, hm?" He glanced back again and his eyes shined with his teases. "Though whether it is mine or your's has yet to be determined."

"Ha, definitely your punishment, I ain't done nothing wrong!"

"I doubt that you're as innocent as you say you are." He licked the yolk from his finger as he finished his meal, then stood up, taking his plate to the sink where Kaede stood. He placed the ceramic in the water, which clattered against her dirty dishes, then leaned in close to Kaede's face, smirking deviously. "An innocent person wouldn't aid me in my ambitions, or do the things we do when night falls."

Kaede felt a sharp jolt of arousal, swallowing the sensation with a laugh, meeting his eyes with that challenging aura she constantly radiated. "Heh, you're just lucky there's nothing else t'do 'round here~!"

After that, she taunted him by turning to face the sink, washing the dishes despite his obvious advances. Her mind wandering to several small things that weighed heavily in her thoughts. Whenever they interacted this way, albeit rarely, she was reminded that despite his cruel nature and even crueler methods, he was still somewhat human beneath the surface. It made her decision to discard her hatred a little easier to accept, however it also allowed her previous mindset to bubble to the surface as well. Ironic considering her deliberations of letting go of her hatred once manifested itself in the same way.

She saw these humanizing moments and the images of all the cruel things he had done flashed through her mind, from the newest to the oldest memory, like a slideshow of her life moving in reverse until she saw herself within the cell, crying, as she gave up on ever getting home. Swallowing hard, Kaede finished up the dishes and dried her hands, suddenly sickened by the strangely casual scene around her. "I'm going to train for a while." She said simply, tossing the towel onto the counter and leaving without another word, not even bothering to collect her beloved novels.

Orochimaru watched her escape and curiously knitted his brows together at her sudden change in demeanor. He had noticed her attitude change as of late, and kept many mental notes over time. Ever since her refusal to follow his orders back in Ishigakure, that defiant nature he knew well had yet to resurface, and he soon realized that she was mentally keeping herself in check, as not to make the same mistake twice.

Though she would still defy his orders on occasion, it was not in a malicious, or destructive manner. More so a playful and entertaining battle the two partook in willingly. Her defiance, though irritating at first, when used in the correct manner, brought amusement to him and made him strive to push her even further.

The devious Sannin knew his experiments, though not physical, still gave conclusive results and interested him beyond his understanding, and since her acceptance to lay with him a second time, he knew her mannerisms would change further, bringing him even more entertainment. He let out a deep, dark chuckle, licking his lips at the thought of her submitting to him further and becoming a powerful pawn in his many plans.

However, at this point, he would not consider her a mere 'pawn', her skills and many actions proving her loyalty outweighed her foolish antics, therefore seeing her as a sacrificial piece would do nothing to aid him in the future. No, like Sasuke, she was an important piece that would secure his victory in battle.

That was the reason he accepted her defiances time and time again, and until she proved herself to be useless to him, he would continue to use her until her dying breath. Of course, deep down, even beyond his own acceptance, there was more to his reasons than merely her battle prowess, he just refused to look further than necessary to find them.

Perhaps, he too would fall into the same trap she was ensnared by, albeit without their knowledge.

Meanwhile, Kaede was walking down the corridor with hastened steps, the wooden stilts of her sandals clacking against the cold, stone flooring. She let out an aggravated sigh and ran her fingers through her messy fringe, tugging out a few knots in the process. Despite her hard work, the thoughts of hatred towards the Sannin continued, and she was powerless to stop them. Intrusive and unrelenting, they snuck into the very core of her being and whispered to her how a man like him deserved no redemption, and he should be forever scorned for his actions.

And while she agreed his sins could not be forgiven, they did not have to control her life any longer. She had chosen to discard her painful anger and follow a new path in forging a future for herself, rather than focusing on the past and the darkness looming there. The one thing that kept tripping her up, were the thoughts of his experiments, the lives he had ruined and the many painful memories they had caused her over the years.

Yes, she could look past the torment when it happened to others, though it had taken many days for her to shrug off the kidnapping of Tenkachi City's children and their upcoming demise. She knew in the end, mourning those she had no ties with was a fruitless and pointless waste of her time.

However, the one thing she could not quite look past, was the idea of those same experiments happening to her, putting herself in their shoes and living through their torture a second time in her life. What was to say Orochimaru just randomly decided his experiments on her were not over after all? What would stop him trapping her for another ten years without even a shred of mercy.

The same thing that stopped him killing you when you read his journals.

Kaede faltered and stopped as she reached the large training hall, her eyes wide as she realized what she had just interjected herself with. Orochimaru's journals humanized him, they made her realize that he was no less of a person than she was, despite his evil acts. It made her come to terms that they were one and the same and that both were just looking for something, anything, worth living for. That is what stopped him killing her when she screamed that she understood his reasons for seeking immortality, and that is what stopped her from falling back into her old, revenge-thirsty ways.

With that thought in mind, the whispering doubts that would have had her seeking his life again finally faded away and a small, relieved smirk crossed her lips as she huffed out a laugh. Lifting her head, she walked into the training room and began her usual bout of self-improvement. Without anything to distract her from her objective, her desire to finally become an adept Taijutsu fighter.

Little by little, she improved every day, though whether that was improvement to her mental health or physical abilities did not matter, she was just happy to be improving.

~BHBL~

Many weeks had passed at this point, nearing two months in total since her kitchen interaction with the villainous mastermind. Kaede let out a quiet yawn as she walked down the darkened steps into the hideout, leaving behind a beautiful moonlit sky as she did so. In her arms, were two bags of very important supplies, along with some alcohol that she had spent the last twelve hours travelling to collect.

With Tenkachi City no more, they had sought out a new trader to continue the work of the previous one, who had vanished once their bribe had not gone through. Because of this, Kaede had no choice but to spent half a day traversing the land to find the nearest city with a black market dealer willing to give them the time of day to continue restocking their secret base without any shinobi from neighboring countries finding out.

Now she had returned from that exhausting trek, she could not wait to get back to her room and drop onto the bed, knowing if Orochimaru asked for any 'services' that night, she would risk his anger by laughing him out of the room. She was far too tired to entertain his needs that night, and not even the terrifying Otokage would stop her from sleeping away her fatigue.

Kaede walked into the kitchen, confused on why the door was slightly ajar, but also relieved, since her hands were full. Without saying a word, she placed the paper bags onto the counter, surprised they survived the trip, and started putting away the various meal-based items she had purchased. Once in a while, she thought back to Tenkachi City, and the many people that had suffered from the Mayor's betrayal.

However, it was not guilt that she felt, no, instead it was a dull anger that burned in her stomach. She did not blame herself or anyone from Otogakure for the deaths of so many people, or the torment the children would face in Orochimaru's experiments. She blamed the mayor and the shinobi from Ishigakure, they were the ones that ruined so many lives in the wake of their mistakes.

Kaede had just been following orders, and Orochimaru had only done what needed to be done to ensure their secrecy remained in tact.

Her darker, crueller side saw no fault in their actions, though she still refused to think about the experiments, or her part to play in their misery. Kaede was not quite ready to admit that said torment was her doing all along, instead she merely pretended that everything had happened because of outside influences. She could not forgive herself otherwise.

Her thoughts were broken when another yawn ripped through her and she covered her mouth with one hand while she put bottles of sake away with the other. "You're putting them in the wrong pantry, Firecracker~!" Kaede let out a sharp, aggressive curse as she spun around with a bottle in her hand, poised to throw it. However, she faltered when she saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes filled with mirth as Orochimaru chuckled, sitting at the kitchen table with no lights around him.

Within a second, a match was struck and the candle positioned in the center of the table was lit, illuminating the small space. The Sannin was sat alone, with a bottle of sake at his side, and a cup in front of him. It seemed he was having a quiet drink when she 'rudely' interrupted him by entering the room and making a racket as she cleared things away.

"God, you asshole, you scared the crap out of me!" Kaede hissed out, placing the bottle down on the counter as she gripped the stone surface, letting her heart calm down from the shock. "Y'know better than t'surprise a kunoichi!"

"Hm, hm, for such a high-ranking Jounin, your complete lack of awareness for your surroundings concerns me." Orochimaru teased, lifting his sake cup to his lips as they twisted into an amused, taunting smile. "Perhaps I need to amplify the complexity of my training regime, otherwise your senses may catch up with your age."

Y'can talk!" Kaede blurted out with a laugh, taking another sake bottle and a cup from one of the overhead cupboards before she sauntered over and sat opposite him, pouring herself a glass. If he was allowed to stop working and have a drink, so was she. "At least I ain't stealing younger people's bodies t'pretend I ain't some bitter old man!"

"Oh? Is that jealousy I sense in your tone, my dear?" He arched a brow as he poured himself another cup. just as she downed her's, curling her lips back at the sharp taste. Before she could put her cup down to collect her bottle, Orochimaru extended his out to her, a silent offering. She blinked, then grinned and lifted the small ceramic dish, which he filled generously with his own sake.

"Heh, you wish! I'll have y'know I don't need some secret jutsu t'look this good!"

"Hm, hm, your desperate need for 'beauty sleep' seems to be your own secret jutsu, is it not?"

The two continued their banter long into the night, making well-timed jokes and taunts towards one another as they drank their problems away. It was the first time since her first meeting with Jiraiya that she had, had a good drink with someone else and enjoyed the interaction. Deep down, she felt something flutter in her chest, and in the haze of alcohol, she wondered something she would not have cared about at any other time.

She wondered if she could inquire about his past further, so she could get to know him just a little bit better. Maybe in the process, whatever she learned would only aid her in letting go of her hatred once and for all.

A/N: Thank you for reading, please review, I love the energy you guys dish out to me, and I really want to hear what you think of this chapter too!

Japanese = English

Katon = Fire Release

Jutsu = Technique

Otogakure = Hidden Sound Village

Ishigakure = Hidden Rock Village

Kunoichi = Female Ninja

Shinobi = Male Ninja

Otokage = Sound Shadow