An honor to receive reviews from everyone and if you read this far please drop me a line. I have completely revamped this story as of July 2010. Yes, some of us older authors are still active on the site! I feel like everyone before now was much too kind towards me in regards to this story, but I greatly appreciate the encouragement. I believe the rewritten version to be much better and thank all that have read this far. I especially want to extend thanks to all those that take a few minutes to leave a review.

Mia couldn't move, she couldn't believe her eyes. Ivan was right before her and there was that kindness in his eyes that she hadn't seen in so long.

"Mia," his voice was gentle and full of concern. "Please, you need to get up and you need to move on."

Tearfully, she shakily pushed herself off the ground, tottering a little with effort to keep her balance. She never took her eyes off him and after a moment, she lurched at him, trying to wrap him up in a hug. Confused she found herself back in a puddle of mud having gone straight through him. She turned back towards him and waited for an explanation, still too shocked to speak.

Ivan stared down at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Mia. I'm no longer of this world."

"But-I..."

"I'm not your imagination," he assured her. "It's really me."

"I-it's...it's really you?" Mia finally croaked, staring dumbfounded at Ivan. "But how," she asked, her question barely audible.

"I was, uh," Ivan stopped as he tried to figure out a way to explain things to Mia, "I was allowed to speak with you for a few minutes." Mia looked even more confused at this. Ivan smiled slightly, "Let's just say a higher authority thought it'd be good for you," he said, glancing upwards. Mia's eyes filled with more tears.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as they began to roll off her cheeks. "I don't know what I can give you to make your spirit rest peacefully. It's so angry usually, but right now, you seem-you seem-" the words died in her throat. You seem at peace with it all.

"I know, and that's why I'm..." Ivan sighed as Mia covered her face, trying to muffle her sobs.

"I shouldn't have used psynergy like I did. I wasn't thinking, but I should have. I just panicked and I-I did that and then I left you there, completely vulnerable to the monster," Mia gasped out, renewed horror at her dreadful deed spread throughout her being as she said everything she'd been wanting to say out loud.

"Mia, it's okay," Ivan's voice was full of compassion and understanding. "You just did that on instinct. Me, Garet, or Isaac probably would have done the same had any of been in your position. And, if you are so quick to blame yourself, then how do you truly feel about me?"

Her hands flew away from her face and she frowned at him, incomprehension clear on her face. Ivan went on, "Garet knew something was wrong, he tried to call out before I cast that spell. And, to be honest, I thought something might be wrong, but I still cast anyway."

"There was no way you could have known that!" Mia protested, upset Ivan was even calling his actions into question.

"I know. And in your state, you couldn't help what you did. I had just fried your mind, you could barely retain consciousness. It's just the way things happened. But, Mia," he began and knelt down next to her and even though they couldn't touch, Mia could feel his presence all around her. "My spirit is at rest. Your spirit is the one that's in such great unrest. You keep making up these horrible things about me. It's hurts to see to see you so unhappy when you think of me."

Mia opened her mouth to protest, but she clamped her mouth shut, unsure what to say. Was that true? After a moment, she finally squeaked out, "Is that it? Just my imagination?"

"Yes. It's just your imagination. Surely, you must know I'd never think so lowly of you and never make such ridiculous demands of you." She looked back up into his large eyes, searching them intently for sincerity. It shone brightly within them, along with a gentle acceptance of all that had happened. "You know what I'm saying is true. I wouldn't lie to you." When she still didn't look convinced, he went on, "Mia, I have no reasons to lie to you. Especially not now. I'm dead and gone, never coming back. I want you to be at peace with it. I am already at peace. Please understand that."

"You really feel at peace with it?"

"Absolutely."

"But if I had only thought before I cast that spell, I could have had the strength to fend off that monster until Isaac and Garet got there to kill it."

Ivan shook his head slowly. "Mia, I know hindsight is like a reveal spell after something had happened. It shows you what you could have or should have done and how you will do things differently in the future. It's unfair to use it after the face to hold yourself responsible for something. Not only that," he paused thoughtfully before continuing, "but how do you know that for sure? You were barely conscious, after all. Maybe if you hadn't used that spell and been thrown a few feet away, we'd both be dead. Maybe if Isaac and Garet got there, they still wouldn't have been able to protect me. Maybe all four of us would be dead. Do you see how many different outcomes there could have been?" He watched as her eyes began to light up with understanding. "Do you understand how unfair you're being to yourself? To Isaac and Garet? And even to me?"

"I guess it is unfair," she reluctantly admitted.

"There is no guessing, Mia. It's completely unfair to think of things in that way."

"Yes, but are you sure it's just my imagination?" she asked, wishing she could squeeze his arms to imply how desperately she wanted assurances and kind words.

"Positive," Ivan insisted. "My spirit only becomes unsettled when I think that a friend could think of me in such an awful way," he explained, sadness tinging his words.

Her head bowed, she whispered an apology.

"It's okay. Just think of me in a kinder way. Don't let your regret and anger consume you and create such awful visions again."

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask. Please, believe me, Mia. My spirit is at rest and I hold no ill will towards you. Do not convince yourself otherwise."

Ivan started to get up, and Mia felt overcome with panic and dread at what she knew was bound to come next.

"I can't stay any longer and everything I needed to say has been said."

She shook her head vigorously, unwilling to let him leave when he'd just barely gotten there. "No, no, please stay," she pleaded with him. "Isaac and Garet would like to see you, too! Please?"

"Mia, I can't. I really wish I could," Ivan said softly, sympathetic to the near hysterical state she was in.

"Yes, yes you can," Mia's eyes were wild with desperation, she reached out and tried to grab his arms, forgetting that she could not touch him. Her hands went right through him again and she suppressed a cry while Ivan looked on sadly. Pushing past the lump in her throat, she insisted, "You can come with us...you can."

Ivan sighed sympathetically. "Mia, you know I'll always be with you- in your heart and memories."

"T-that's not the same! We don't want you in our hearts and memories," she cried. "Please? Please!"

Ivan shook his head slowly, his eyes apologetic as his body begin to fade away from sight. "Mia, listen to me," he began softly but seriously, "Isaac, Garet, and I all love and care for you very much. None of us like seeing you like this. Isaac and Garet don't blame you, and neither do I. Please don't ever forget that."

"No, please! Come back," Mia pleaded into the emptiness. "That's not the same! It's not the same! It's not," Mia's voice cracked as she began sobbing again, "the same," she whispered. "Not the same. Please? Please!"

Mia stared at the stone, ignoring the rain that lightly showered her and the stone. Did any of that really just happened? she silently asked the stone, the sickening realization of how unlikely it was finally hitting her. Hey, Ivan, give me some kind of sign? She felt silly asking so much of a deceased friend and she only felt sillier when nothing happened. Heaving a sigh, she pushed herself out of the mud and stood before the marker, staring down at it with remorse. I really am desperate, aren't I? I- Her thoughts were cut off when the world stilled around her. It was funny; like a repeat of when she'd first experienced the light box, the rain drops slowed and she could see the sun slowly breaking through the clouds, bathing her in warm rays of sunshine. Violent gusts of wind picked up all around her and she heard a quiet, airy voice fill her ears.

Is this a good enough sign for you?

Clamping her hand over her mouth, more tears burst forth from her eyes, but they were ones that only came from overwhelming relief and happiness. Ivan's voice had been kind and reminiscent of the way he had actually spoken while alive. The wind picked up again, tossing her long hair in all different directions and she heard the voice one last time.

Good. I'm glad. Go on, Mia, there's no reason for you to stay in one place the rest of your life. You still have one to live so live it fully!

Slowly she nodded her head in agreement with what he'd said and let herself simply enjoy the rush of the wind. "Thank you, thank you," she kept muttering into it, unsure what to do with this newfound feeling of peace and acceptance. She was sure she had to be glowing she felt so full of warmth and happiness. The sun broke through the clouds as if greeting a new day and promising a better a future. It all bubbled up within her and she found herself laughing through her tears.

Isaac rounded the corner and skidded to a halt, shocked. Was Mia laughing? He looked between her and Ivan's marker in confusion, unable to say anything. Garet came running up behind Isaac, his face a mask of dread and fear. Relief flooded him when he saw Mia, alive and well and sighted no monsters nearby. "We found her," he got out breathlessly, eyes lighting up with happiness at the sound of her laughter. He wasn't sure what had happened, but it promised for better days ahead. After a moment, Isaac let go of his confusion and smiled also, choosing to accept things for what they were.

"Yes, it seems I've been found," she heartily agreed through her laughter. After a couple more moments, the laughter died off and she looked at her two friends, sincerity etched in her every feature. "I'm so sorry for the way I've behaved."

"Mia," Isaac tried to cut her off, "we've all got things. Just don't worry about it."

"Really, though," she went on, "I'll try harder. I- just...I won't let these feelings eat me up and cause you two so much trouble."

"That's really good to hear," Garet said, looking up at the sky which was full of clouds tearing apart and allowing the sun to warm them and brighten Ivan's marker they all stood by. "I know Ivan would be happy to hear that."

"Yes," she readily agreed. "I think he would."

"Right." Isaac nodded, feelings of peace making him feel in harmony with the world. He could almost feel that golden energy within him evaporate and he was confident in the next town a practiced healer could take care of it. After all, it's not like they didn't know about the creature that had lurked out here. They had created a barrier for people to seek refuge from it.

"I have a good feeling about the next few days," Garet's confident voice pulled Isaac out of his thoughts. "Do you think we should plan to travel soon?"

"You know, I think that would be a good idea." Isaac agreed, shooting Ivan's marker a look. "I'm sure Ivan doesn't want us just hanging around here forever."

"I'm positive he feels that way," Mia put in. She beamed and turned her attention to Garet. Her next words warmed him more than the sun ever could. "Before we go, though, would you mind making us some soup? I'd really like that!"