Friday September 5th
4.30am
Yawn. Why am I here? I just had a real freaky dream where this cute French chef from my last skiing holiday asked me out and we went to the 'End of the World' party holding hands. I think he was about 20, but I'm not sure.
5.00am
I can't help but think something important is happening today. And something important happened yesterday.
Check watch. It's the fifth of September. Why can't my watch show days as well as dates?
Check calendar. It's a Friday.
Check timetable. Double DADA followed by Double Potions.
...DADA and Potions? YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FRIDAY! THE DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! I LOOOOOOOVE YOU, ZEUS! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
5.15am
Ah, Shadow's back with Wraith and Ollivander's reply. I don't know where Wraith went. I think he was probably in the dungeons eating the Potions ingredients. If he was then I'm in deep shite.
'Miss J Katz,
I do not use either Redwood or Black Wyvern Scale in my wands. Or any Wyvern Scale. Redwood is strong and flexible but not easily available in Britain. Wyverns are rare and unpredictable. To get their scales is basically committing suicide, unless you happen to be bonded to one. And I must point out that Wyvern Trainers are few and far between. Good luck in your search though, Mr Ollivander, wand maker.'
Slimy creepy low-down fat bastard! I hate him! He's EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!
6.00am
What's this? I know it's an owl, but it's grey-brown and shaggy. It looks more like a dog than an owl! And it's holding Gum Paper. Why?
'Hey, Niece!
Long time no see, huh? I missed your birthday this year, so I'll send it when I get your reply with Dingo. That's the owl, if you hadn't guessed. I'm getting your mum to let you visit over the summer, and maybe bring a couple of friends. Heard from Remus that you were sorted into Gryffindor? No offence to you, your friends or Remus and Justine, but I always preferred Ravenclaw. 'Misa was in Gryffindor, too. I was in Ravenclaw. Luv ya loads, Rohan Jacobs Ps:- I adopted a Taipan and a Grey Shark the other day. The things these Muggles get up to, huh? The Grey Shark lives off the reef area near me, and the Taipan is even more dangerous than your King Cobra.'
Wow! It's from Uncle Rohan! I'm surprised he actually knows who Remus is. I don't think they've ever met.
6.05.
Jeez, that owl looks as though it could gouge my eyes out if I poked it hard enough. No wonder Ro called it Dingo.
'Yo, Ro!
I'm fine! Nice name for a lovely owl *coughs* heh. I have loads of great friends. There's Harry Pothead, Jan, Ron, Lavender, Parvati, Baby B (who isn't really a friend, I'm just listing the peeps in Gryffindor), Seamus, Dean and some toad called Neville who's lost his owner Trevor, or something like that. What have you got me for my birthday? By the way, if you didn't already know, my name is Lunar-Justice Esben Katz. Alias the Grim Reaper, so just call me Grim or Justice. Nice to hear from you at last. Write back and send prezzies! Juss'
I sent the funny looking dog-owl off and lay back in bed.
6.30am
Why can't I get to sleep? Probably because I'm looking forward to seeing my new boyfriend teach so much. I know he fakes his stutter, but now the question is 'why?'
"You've been hit by; you've been struck by a Smooth Criminal! YOW!" I sang. I considered doing the Time Warp dance, but then realised it was six in the morning and people didn't need to see me do the Rocky Horror Show in fishnet tights.
I can be very practical sometimes.
7.00am
"Jan! Jan! Wake up! I got a letter from Ollivander and my Uncle Rohan!" I yelled, shaking Jan. Unfortunately, that woke up Lavender too.
"Who's your uncle Rohan?" She asked sleepily.
"Rohan lives in Oz Oz Oz, the reason is be-coz coz coz." I chanted. Lavender blinked and went to the washroom.
"Jan. WAKE UP!" I yelled in her ear. She woke up. Smart move, that one.
"Vas! Vas! Vhere ist the bomb?" She muttered thickly.
"There is no bomb! There is only Yours Truly!" I said with a flourish.
"Go away, Grim." She mumbled and we both burst out laughing.
"Vas ist today?" She asked when she had control over herself enough to breath.
"Defence Against the Dark Arts with Quirrell and Potions with Snape."
"Ach! Your boyfriend and your lookalike, nein?" She said smiling. I frowned. What is it with people and saying Snape looks like me? I do know that now, I've only been told 2350 times!
"Who says he's my lookalike?" I look nothing like him!" I hissed. Jan sniggered.
"Ja. You look exactly like him. If he veren't a teacher and you a student, I'd haf trouble telling you apart, ja?"
I am going to strangle her slowly and painfully.
7.30am
"Hey, Grim!" Ron called as I walked into the Main Hall. "I heard about your D.T! Was it really that bad? You had to help Quirrell file his paperwork? The bastard!"
I had an urge to say 'No! You're wrong! Quirrell is my boyfriend and we didn't file paperwork! We joked around. He has a great sense of humor!'
But I didn't, thank god!
"I didn't expect DADA teachers to have paperwork." Harry said offhandedly. "I only reckoned with them to have things like Vampire Blood and Werewolf Fangs."
"Oh, no. He has loads of paperwork to do. And I had to help him file it, the lazy boring sod! And it wasn't even my fault I was on the caffeine high, was it, Ron?"
Ron blushed.
"Uh...yeah, sorry about that."
"What have we got today?" Harry asked. I remember my timetable, so should everyone else dammit!
"Defence Against the Dark Arts followed by Potions." I said.
"Hell, it'll be funny listening to Quirrell try and teach with that stutter of his." Ron snorted.
"Don't say that!" Jan cried suddenly. "He does not vant or need you to make fun of his stutter! Vould you like it if you had von?"
"Why are you sticking up for him, LuSape?" Ron sneered nastily. "Fancy him, do you?"
"Nein! I vas seeing it through his eyes as vell as through mein own. It is not fery nice, ja? Leafe him alone!"
8.00am
Been at breakfast, gone from breakfast, waiting for nine o'clock to come so I can see my boyfriend again.
"Ach! Hallo, Professor!" Jan said swiftly. We were walking along the corridor up to Gryffindor Tower and someone had nearly walked into her.
"G-good morning, g-g-girls." Said the person who had nearly walked into her. OMIGOD! I KNOW WHO THAT IS!
"Hi, professor!" I smiled jauntily.
"Looking f-f-forward to the l-lesson?" He asked. I grinned.
"You betcha!"
He rolled his eyes and walked off. He really is doing a good job of keeping our relationship secret. If I weren't going out with him then I would never guess I was going out with him.
Don't worry about that last sentence. It wasn't supposed to make sense.
9.00am
Surprise, surprise. I am the first person in the DADA classroom. Apart from Jan, or course. No one else is here yet. Oop, I tell a lie, here they come. Anticipating the lesson as much as I am.
"Are you looking forward to this, Jan?" I whispered. She smiled and nodded.
"Ja. And you say mein Englisch is getting better?" She asked concernedly. I nodded. "Ach! Gut!"
"Good m-morning, class." Stuttered Professor Q, striding sexily into the class.
"Morning, sir!" Yelled Seamus Finnigan, an Irish boy in Gryffindor.
"We are in th-this class t-t-to learn how t-to fight the D-dark Forces." Q told us, sitting down at his desk. "F-for example, curses, d-dark creatures and ourselves."
"How do you mean?" Dean Tomas asked, perplexed.
"Well, you s-see, each of us h-h-has a c-conscience. Sometimes w-we get c- cocky and ignore our c-c-conscience. Then w-we c-c-can get tempted by th- the powers of e-evil. It's m-my job t-to teach you t-t-to resist those f- forces."
"Oh." Said Dean. Seamus nudged him and snickered. I think they're dating, but I'm not sure.
"If you c-could t-t-turn to p-page six in your t-text books, please..." Q said.
10.00pm
DADA is great! There are all these lists on how to counter mild curses on page six. There's Anti-Jelly-Legs, and No-Feet, and a whole list of other curses and counter-curses.
Mind you, I think Q's sense of humor does stretch to a point. Seamus asked him how he got his turban, and he said 'from an African Prince because I got rid of a zombie for him.'
Then Seamus asked Quirrell how he got rid of the zombie, and Q went as red as a tomato and started talking about the weather and 'Ooo, isn't it a nice day outside?' and the usual crap.
"We revised over the three main curses and counter-curses while Quirrell got on with some more paperwork at his desk. Poor guy. How much paperwork does he get? He looked really tired.
11.00am
I stuck my hand in the air.
"Sir!" I called. He looked up and smiled nervously.
"Yes?"
"I've finished. What do you want me to do now?" I asked. He frowned and turned to page six in his textbook.
"Er... p-practise the Basic Sp-spontaneous Combustion C-c-curse on this f- feather." He said, conjuring up a feather with his wand and giving it to me. All the others sped up with their work.
Making things become spontaneously combust is cool.
"Ignis!" I whispered, poking the feather with my wand. Nothing happened. Q smiled and walked over.
"L-like this." He said, holding my wand out and moving my wand for me. He kind of rotated my wrist and added a little flick at the end.
"Ignis!" He commanded. The feather burst into flames. He smiled again and whispered something in my ear, too subtle for the rest of the class to motice.
"Come and see me tonight if you like. I'll be in my office."
He walked away. Jan gave me the thumbs up sign and Q conjured me up another feather.
I love my life.
11.30am
Aw! Only another half hour of DADA to go. Q's pleased at my progress on making things become Spontaneously Combust. The other students in the class finished their notes a while back, so Quirrell's been run off his feet rushing round helping people. I am reconsidering my option of being a teacher, though it would be fun to put people in detention for no reason.
"Sir!" I said, waving my hand around. "I've caused three feathers to become spontaneously combust. What should I do now?"
"Er... p-practise on harder th-things, l-l-like that sp-spare desk over there." He stammered.
"Okie dokie!" I whispered, anticipating setting the desk on fire. Jan looked at me as though I was insane.
"What!" I protested. "That's what my old Languages teacher, Mr Holland, always says! It's true! Stop looking at me like that!"
12.00pm
DADA is soooooooo going on my favorite lessons list. Actually, I don't have a list like that. Ah, well. I'll just have to pretend I do.
"Should ve be going down to lunch, ja?" Jan asked me. I smiled and nodded.
"Yes, of course, ma petite." I grinned inanely. "I have a sort of 'date' with Quirrell later."
"Ja. So I haf heard. You are fery lucky, nein?"
"Maybe."
"Ja! You are, meine Lieblingsfreunde! I vish I had a lover like Qvirrell."
"You can speak Spanish, right?" I asked, deliberately changing the subject.
"Çi, señorita." Jan said. Her German accent had changed into a Spanish one.
"Ok... say 'listen to me! I'm speaking Spanish!'"
"¡Dios mio! ¡Estoy hablando Español!" She said.
"Er... say 'What?"
"¿Que?"
"And then give the explanation." I said, feeling pleased with myself. Jan looked clueless.
"¿Que?" She repeated. I sighed. Lemurs are so much more intelligent.
"Say: 'I don't speak English.'
"Ah. Çi. Yo no creo hablo Inglès."
"Cool. You do speak English though, don't you?" I asked just to make sure.
"Of course." She answered, sounding offended.
"Ah... ok."
1.00pm
Banana Soup and Mushrooms for lunch. What do normal people eat? I'm sure it has nothing to do with inedible poisonous Fungi and stewed bananas.
By the way, McG is back. She was back yesterday as well, she's just so unimportant that I couldn't be bothered to mention her.
"Ugh." Groaned Ron, letting his banana soup splurge back into the bowl off his spoon. "No way am I eating that. I'd rather snog a swan."
"That could be arranged." I smiled evilly. Ron blanched while Harry and Jan laughed.
"No! No! Please, I didn't mean it! Don't just sit there laughing, you two! Help me!" He pleaded. Then he noticed I was laughing too.
"Oh."
2.00pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Etc. POTIOOOOOOOOOOONS! With a capital P!
"You looking forward to this, Jan?" I asked, lugging my cauldron and potions ingredients down to the dungeons. She smiled, dragging her own stuff along behind her.
"Ja, meine freunde."
2.01pm
Sheiße. We were a minute - a WHOLE MINUTE - late, so Snape decided to deduct a whole ten points from Gryffindor. Slimy, rotten, no good bastard.
"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art that is potion making." He whispered icily. "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even stopper death. If you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
Wonderful teacher, this guy. Insults the students before he knows how good they are at Potions. Amazing. Arsehole.
2.10pm
We are now officially making Boil Cures. La-Di-Da and Dee-Dee-Dee. Ho hum, pigs bum. Have resigned myself to stirring my cauldron using telekinesis while making owl noises with my hands.
Ok, so I lied. I'm not really telekinetic, but HEY! a girl can dream, can't she? I can, however, make owl noises with my hands. I'm not going to now because Snape will probably find an excuse to give me a detention for breathing.
"Jan? Are you ok?" I asked. Jan was nearly as pale as the dorky-looking boy who shared our boat on the first day.
"Um...ja, I think so. I hope so." She said, stirring her potion feverishly.
2.30pm
A fizzing sound filled the dungeon and the dorky-boy, Neville Longbottom, (is it my fault I thought he was a toad? Jeez!) had melted Seamus Finnigan's cauldron. Snape wasn't happy. He said Neville off to the hospital wing, while telling Potty that he was a stupid boy.
Gryffindor lost a point.
Stupid, slimy, prejudiced Slytherin Arsehole. Snape that is, not Longbottom. Longbottom's to thick to be slimy.
2.39pm
Oh...god... The fumes are getting to my head... must be because of my Insomnia... lack of sleep... get out of my way dammit!... argh!
"Katz? What are you doing? Get back to your potion!" I heard Slimy Greasy Arsehead call out across the dungeon.
"Nuh... can't see... dammit, where's my turban twister?!" I replied groggily. I'm delirious.
"Neeheehee... Iiiiiiii caaaaaaaaan seeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuu!!" I whispered. Snape frowned and walked over.
I lost consciousness.
6.00pm
Ugh... where am I? Too much white... and there's a nurse person here. What's she doing? Ooh! Lots of other people. Crowding round a bed with me in.
Oh. I'm in the Hospital Wing.
"Oh, good. She's come round." I heard Nurseon Person say. Then the faces of Snape, Harry, Ron, Jan, Dumbledore and someone else came into view.
"Ach! Grim! Are you alright?" Jan asked. My head throbbed.
"What...happened?" I whispered.
"You fainted in Potions." Ron asked. "Just after Neville's cauldron melted."
"Oh yeah."
I then noticed the other person in the room. It was Quirrell. He was talking serious to Snape and Dumbleydoor.
"M-my fault. I was m-m-making her do the Sp-spontaneous Combustion sp-sp- spell. Must have d-drained her c-completely." He was saying in an undertone. Dumbledore nodded.
"If you are feeling better, Miss Katz, then we will depart. Madame Pomfrey says you will be able to come to dinner. Miss LuSape and Professor Quirrell will stay with you.
Everyone, left except Q and Jan.
"Does she?" Q asked, nodding towards Jan. I knew he meant 'does she know about our little...'
"Yeah."
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah."
"I took the blame to stomp out any suspicions." He said, sitting on the chair by my bed.
"But it was a complete lie! It was because of my Anaemia and Insomnia! You know that!"
"I know that but they don't." Q answered. "I don't want them questioning why you have Insomnia."
"So... are you two going out?" Jan asked, moving closer. Q raised an eyebrow.
"I thought you said she knew."
"She does."
"Then why did she ask?"
"Because she's German.
Q stared at me.
"What's your first name?" He asked, completely changing the subject. "I should know your name if I'm going out with you."
"Justice. Yours?"
Quirrell went red. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Then he looked at the floor and then back at me.
"Slatero." He muttered remorsefully. "I hate my name."
"I can sympathise with you; I hate mine."
"Yours isn't as bad as mine."
"No. It's isn't."
I swear I could have fried an egg on his face.
"Um... Miss LuSape..." He began.
"Jan." Jan said.
"Sorry. Jan and I have to go get ready for dinner. Are you coming?"
"Not hungry."
"All right. I'll come visit in the morning."
He gave me a quick little hug and left, Jan qt his heels. As soon as he left the Hospital Wing, he started twitching again. He's a pretty good actor.
7.00pm
Bliss. I'm going to sleep now to catch up on lost blood sugars.
Damn, those sugars are mean!
7.10pm
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
4.30am
Yawn. Why am I here? I just had a real freaky dream where this cute French chef from my last skiing holiday asked me out and we went to the 'End of the World' party holding hands. I think he was about 20, but I'm not sure.
5.00am
I can't help but think something important is happening today. And something important happened yesterday.
Check watch. It's the fifth of September. Why can't my watch show days as well as dates?
Check calendar. It's a Friday.
Check timetable. Double DADA followed by Double Potions.
...DADA and Potions? YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FRIDAY! THE DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! I LOOOOOOOVE YOU, ZEUS! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
5.15am
Ah, Shadow's back with Wraith and Ollivander's reply. I don't know where Wraith went. I think he was probably in the dungeons eating the Potions ingredients. If he was then I'm in deep shite.
'Miss J Katz,
I do not use either Redwood or Black Wyvern Scale in my wands. Or any Wyvern Scale. Redwood is strong and flexible but not easily available in Britain. Wyverns are rare and unpredictable. To get their scales is basically committing suicide, unless you happen to be bonded to one. And I must point out that Wyvern Trainers are few and far between. Good luck in your search though, Mr Ollivander, wand maker.'
Slimy creepy low-down fat bastard! I hate him! He's EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!
6.00am
What's this? I know it's an owl, but it's grey-brown and shaggy. It looks more like a dog than an owl! And it's holding Gum Paper. Why?
'Hey, Niece!
Long time no see, huh? I missed your birthday this year, so I'll send it when I get your reply with Dingo. That's the owl, if you hadn't guessed. I'm getting your mum to let you visit over the summer, and maybe bring a couple of friends. Heard from Remus that you were sorted into Gryffindor? No offence to you, your friends or Remus and Justine, but I always preferred Ravenclaw. 'Misa was in Gryffindor, too. I was in Ravenclaw. Luv ya loads, Rohan Jacobs Ps:- I adopted a Taipan and a Grey Shark the other day. The things these Muggles get up to, huh? The Grey Shark lives off the reef area near me, and the Taipan is even more dangerous than your King Cobra.'
Wow! It's from Uncle Rohan! I'm surprised he actually knows who Remus is. I don't think they've ever met.
6.05.
Jeez, that owl looks as though it could gouge my eyes out if I poked it hard enough. No wonder Ro called it Dingo.
'Yo, Ro!
I'm fine! Nice name for a lovely owl *coughs* heh. I have loads of great friends. There's Harry Pothead, Jan, Ron, Lavender, Parvati, Baby B (who isn't really a friend, I'm just listing the peeps in Gryffindor), Seamus, Dean and some toad called Neville who's lost his owner Trevor, or something like that. What have you got me for my birthday? By the way, if you didn't already know, my name is Lunar-Justice Esben Katz. Alias the Grim Reaper, so just call me Grim or Justice. Nice to hear from you at last. Write back and send prezzies! Juss'
I sent the funny looking dog-owl off and lay back in bed.
6.30am
Why can't I get to sleep? Probably because I'm looking forward to seeing my new boyfriend teach so much. I know he fakes his stutter, but now the question is 'why?'
"You've been hit by; you've been struck by a Smooth Criminal! YOW!" I sang. I considered doing the Time Warp dance, but then realised it was six in the morning and people didn't need to see me do the Rocky Horror Show in fishnet tights.
I can be very practical sometimes.
7.00am
"Jan! Jan! Wake up! I got a letter from Ollivander and my Uncle Rohan!" I yelled, shaking Jan. Unfortunately, that woke up Lavender too.
"Who's your uncle Rohan?" She asked sleepily.
"Rohan lives in Oz Oz Oz, the reason is be-coz coz coz." I chanted. Lavender blinked and went to the washroom.
"Jan. WAKE UP!" I yelled in her ear. She woke up. Smart move, that one.
"Vas! Vas! Vhere ist the bomb?" She muttered thickly.
"There is no bomb! There is only Yours Truly!" I said with a flourish.
"Go away, Grim." She mumbled and we both burst out laughing.
"Vas ist today?" She asked when she had control over herself enough to breath.
"Defence Against the Dark Arts with Quirrell and Potions with Snape."
"Ach! Your boyfriend and your lookalike, nein?" She said smiling. I frowned. What is it with people and saying Snape looks like me? I do know that now, I've only been told 2350 times!
"Who says he's my lookalike?" I look nothing like him!" I hissed. Jan sniggered.
"Ja. You look exactly like him. If he veren't a teacher and you a student, I'd haf trouble telling you apart, ja?"
I am going to strangle her slowly and painfully.
7.30am
"Hey, Grim!" Ron called as I walked into the Main Hall. "I heard about your D.T! Was it really that bad? You had to help Quirrell file his paperwork? The bastard!"
I had an urge to say 'No! You're wrong! Quirrell is my boyfriend and we didn't file paperwork! We joked around. He has a great sense of humor!'
But I didn't, thank god!
"I didn't expect DADA teachers to have paperwork." Harry said offhandedly. "I only reckoned with them to have things like Vampire Blood and Werewolf Fangs."
"Oh, no. He has loads of paperwork to do. And I had to help him file it, the lazy boring sod! And it wasn't even my fault I was on the caffeine high, was it, Ron?"
Ron blushed.
"Uh...yeah, sorry about that."
"What have we got today?" Harry asked. I remember my timetable, so should everyone else dammit!
"Defence Against the Dark Arts followed by Potions." I said.
"Hell, it'll be funny listening to Quirrell try and teach with that stutter of his." Ron snorted.
"Don't say that!" Jan cried suddenly. "He does not vant or need you to make fun of his stutter! Vould you like it if you had von?"
"Why are you sticking up for him, LuSape?" Ron sneered nastily. "Fancy him, do you?"
"Nein! I vas seeing it through his eyes as vell as through mein own. It is not fery nice, ja? Leafe him alone!"
8.00am
Been at breakfast, gone from breakfast, waiting for nine o'clock to come so I can see my boyfriend again.
"Ach! Hallo, Professor!" Jan said swiftly. We were walking along the corridor up to Gryffindor Tower and someone had nearly walked into her.
"G-good morning, g-g-girls." Said the person who had nearly walked into her. OMIGOD! I KNOW WHO THAT IS!
"Hi, professor!" I smiled jauntily.
"Looking f-f-forward to the l-lesson?" He asked. I grinned.
"You betcha!"
He rolled his eyes and walked off. He really is doing a good job of keeping our relationship secret. If I weren't going out with him then I would never guess I was going out with him.
Don't worry about that last sentence. It wasn't supposed to make sense.
9.00am
Surprise, surprise. I am the first person in the DADA classroom. Apart from Jan, or course. No one else is here yet. Oop, I tell a lie, here they come. Anticipating the lesson as much as I am.
"Are you looking forward to this, Jan?" I whispered. She smiled and nodded.
"Ja. And you say mein Englisch is getting better?" She asked concernedly. I nodded. "Ach! Gut!"
"Good m-morning, class." Stuttered Professor Q, striding sexily into the class.
"Morning, sir!" Yelled Seamus Finnigan, an Irish boy in Gryffindor.
"We are in th-this class t-t-to learn how t-to fight the D-dark Forces." Q told us, sitting down at his desk. "F-for example, curses, d-dark creatures and ourselves."
"How do you mean?" Dean Tomas asked, perplexed.
"Well, you s-see, each of us h-h-has a c-conscience. Sometimes w-we get c- cocky and ignore our c-c-conscience. Then w-we c-c-can get tempted by th- the powers of e-evil. It's m-my job t-to teach you t-t-to resist those f- forces."
"Oh." Said Dean. Seamus nudged him and snickered. I think they're dating, but I'm not sure.
"If you c-could t-t-turn to p-page six in your t-text books, please..." Q said.
10.00pm
DADA is great! There are all these lists on how to counter mild curses on page six. There's Anti-Jelly-Legs, and No-Feet, and a whole list of other curses and counter-curses.
Mind you, I think Q's sense of humor does stretch to a point. Seamus asked him how he got his turban, and he said 'from an African Prince because I got rid of a zombie for him.'
Then Seamus asked Quirrell how he got rid of the zombie, and Q went as red as a tomato and started talking about the weather and 'Ooo, isn't it a nice day outside?' and the usual crap.
"We revised over the three main curses and counter-curses while Quirrell got on with some more paperwork at his desk. Poor guy. How much paperwork does he get? He looked really tired.
11.00am
I stuck my hand in the air.
"Sir!" I called. He looked up and smiled nervously.
"Yes?"
"I've finished. What do you want me to do now?" I asked. He frowned and turned to page six in his textbook.
"Er... p-practise the Basic Sp-spontaneous Combustion C-c-curse on this f- feather." He said, conjuring up a feather with his wand and giving it to me. All the others sped up with their work.
Making things become spontaneously combust is cool.
"Ignis!" I whispered, poking the feather with my wand. Nothing happened. Q smiled and walked over.
"L-like this." He said, holding my wand out and moving my wand for me. He kind of rotated my wrist and added a little flick at the end.
"Ignis!" He commanded. The feather burst into flames. He smiled again and whispered something in my ear, too subtle for the rest of the class to motice.
"Come and see me tonight if you like. I'll be in my office."
He walked away. Jan gave me the thumbs up sign and Q conjured me up another feather.
I love my life.
11.30am
Aw! Only another half hour of DADA to go. Q's pleased at my progress on making things become Spontaneously Combust. The other students in the class finished their notes a while back, so Quirrell's been run off his feet rushing round helping people. I am reconsidering my option of being a teacher, though it would be fun to put people in detention for no reason.
"Sir!" I said, waving my hand around. "I've caused three feathers to become spontaneously combust. What should I do now?"
"Er... p-practise on harder th-things, l-l-like that sp-spare desk over there." He stammered.
"Okie dokie!" I whispered, anticipating setting the desk on fire. Jan looked at me as though I was insane.
"What!" I protested. "That's what my old Languages teacher, Mr Holland, always says! It's true! Stop looking at me like that!"
12.00pm
DADA is soooooooo going on my favorite lessons list. Actually, I don't have a list like that. Ah, well. I'll just have to pretend I do.
"Should ve be going down to lunch, ja?" Jan asked me. I smiled and nodded.
"Yes, of course, ma petite." I grinned inanely. "I have a sort of 'date' with Quirrell later."
"Ja. So I haf heard. You are fery lucky, nein?"
"Maybe."
"Ja! You are, meine Lieblingsfreunde! I vish I had a lover like Qvirrell."
"You can speak Spanish, right?" I asked, deliberately changing the subject.
"Çi, señorita." Jan said. Her German accent had changed into a Spanish one.
"Ok... say 'listen to me! I'm speaking Spanish!'"
"¡Dios mio! ¡Estoy hablando Español!" She said.
"Er... say 'What?"
"¿Que?"
"And then give the explanation." I said, feeling pleased with myself. Jan looked clueless.
"¿Que?" She repeated. I sighed. Lemurs are so much more intelligent.
"Say: 'I don't speak English.'
"Ah. Çi. Yo no creo hablo Inglès."
"Cool. You do speak English though, don't you?" I asked just to make sure.
"Of course." She answered, sounding offended.
"Ah... ok."
1.00pm
Banana Soup and Mushrooms for lunch. What do normal people eat? I'm sure it has nothing to do with inedible poisonous Fungi and stewed bananas.
By the way, McG is back. She was back yesterday as well, she's just so unimportant that I couldn't be bothered to mention her.
"Ugh." Groaned Ron, letting his banana soup splurge back into the bowl off his spoon. "No way am I eating that. I'd rather snog a swan."
"That could be arranged." I smiled evilly. Ron blanched while Harry and Jan laughed.
"No! No! Please, I didn't mean it! Don't just sit there laughing, you two! Help me!" He pleaded. Then he noticed I was laughing too.
"Oh."
2.00pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Etc. POTIOOOOOOOOOOONS! With a capital P!
"You looking forward to this, Jan?" I asked, lugging my cauldron and potions ingredients down to the dungeons. She smiled, dragging her own stuff along behind her.
"Ja, meine freunde."
2.01pm
Sheiße. We were a minute - a WHOLE MINUTE - late, so Snape decided to deduct a whole ten points from Gryffindor. Slimy, rotten, no good bastard.
"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art that is potion making." He whispered icily. "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even stopper death. If you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
Wonderful teacher, this guy. Insults the students before he knows how good they are at Potions. Amazing. Arsehole.
2.10pm
We are now officially making Boil Cures. La-Di-Da and Dee-Dee-Dee. Ho hum, pigs bum. Have resigned myself to stirring my cauldron using telekinesis while making owl noises with my hands.
Ok, so I lied. I'm not really telekinetic, but HEY! a girl can dream, can't she? I can, however, make owl noises with my hands. I'm not going to now because Snape will probably find an excuse to give me a detention for breathing.
"Jan? Are you ok?" I asked. Jan was nearly as pale as the dorky-looking boy who shared our boat on the first day.
"Um...ja, I think so. I hope so." She said, stirring her potion feverishly.
2.30pm
A fizzing sound filled the dungeon and the dorky-boy, Neville Longbottom, (is it my fault I thought he was a toad? Jeez!) had melted Seamus Finnigan's cauldron. Snape wasn't happy. He said Neville off to the hospital wing, while telling Potty that he was a stupid boy.
Gryffindor lost a point.
Stupid, slimy, prejudiced Slytherin Arsehole. Snape that is, not Longbottom. Longbottom's to thick to be slimy.
2.39pm
Oh...god... The fumes are getting to my head... must be because of my Insomnia... lack of sleep... get out of my way dammit!... argh!
"Katz? What are you doing? Get back to your potion!" I heard Slimy Greasy Arsehead call out across the dungeon.
"Nuh... can't see... dammit, where's my turban twister?!" I replied groggily. I'm delirious.
"Neeheehee... Iiiiiiii caaaaaaaaan seeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuu!!" I whispered. Snape frowned and walked over.
I lost consciousness.
6.00pm
Ugh... where am I? Too much white... and there's a nurse person here. What's she doing? Ooh! Lots of other people. Crowding round a bed with me in.
Oh. I'm in the Hospital Wing.
"Oh, good. She's come round." I heard Nurseon Person say. Then the faces of Snape, Harry, Ron, Jan, Dumbledore and someone else came into view.
"Ach! Grim! Are you alright?" Jan asked. My head throbbed.
"What...happened?" I whispered.
"You fainted in Potions." Ron asked. "Just after Neville's cauldron melted."
"Oh yeah."
I then noticed the other person in the room. It was Quirrell. He was talking serious to Snape and Dumbleydoor.
"M-my fault. I was m-m-making her do the Sp-spontaneous Combustion sp-sp- spell. Must have d-drained her c-completely." He was saying in an undertone. Dumbledore nodded.
"If you are feeling better, Miss Katz, then we will depart. Madame Pomfrey says you will be able to come to dinner. Miss LuSape and Professor Quirrell will stay with you.
Everyone, left except Q and Jan.
"Does she?" Q asked, nodding towards Jan. I knew he meant 'does she know about our little...'
"Yeah."
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah."
"I took the blame to stomp out any suspicions." He said, sitting on the chair by my bed.
"But it was a complete lie! It was because of my Anaemia and Insomnia! You know that!"
"I know that but they don't." Q answered. "I don't want them questioning why you have Insomnia."
"So... are you two going out?" Jan asked, moving closer. Q raised an eyebrow.
"I thought you said she knew."
"She does."
"Then why did she ask?"
"Because she's German.
Q stared at me.
"What's your first name?" He asked, completely changing the subject. "I should know your name if I'm going out with you."
"Justice. Yours?"
Quirrell went red. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Then he looked at the floor and then back at me.
"Slatero." He muttered remorsefully. "I hate my name."
"I can sympathise with you; I hate mine."
"Yours isn't as bad as mine."
"No. It's isn't."
I swear I could have fried an egg on his face.
"Um... Miss LuSape..." He began.
"Jan." Jan said.
"Sorry. Jan and I have to go get ready for dinner. Are you coming?"
"Not hungry."
"All right. I'll come visit in the morning."
He gave me a quick little hug and left, Jan qt his heels. As soon as he left the Hospital Wing, he started twitching again. He's a pretty good actor.
7.00pm
Bliss. I'm going to sleep now to catch up on lost blood sugars.
Damn, those sugars are mean!
7.10pm
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...