Author's Notes: Hello all, Silverlight97 here with my very first story uploaded to Fanfiction: Only When I Lose Myself. Silver is perhaps my favorite character in the series and I always feel that he gets a bad rap. I'm glad to see that he does have a nice following here though and I hope this story will be a part of it. A couple of things: First, I'm always open to critiquing, though I would prefer a PM so we can actually discuss it. I'm always looking to improve and will take any advice to heart and try to use it in my writing. Second: I'm not sure how you all feel about OC characters, but this story (and perhaps stories in the future) will make extensive use of one, Ashe. I made a short bio for her on my profile page, so feel free to check that out with a little bit of background info about myself.

Anyways, this story begins immediately after the conclusion of Silver's story from Sonic '06 (I know, worst Sonic game ever) and takes place in a semi AU (one that doesn't involve that stupid emerald hunting and bestiality stuff) and will be told exclusively from a limited third person perspective. Like I said above, feel free to review or comment, though I would prefer a PM. I'll make an effort to respond to everyone that reviews or messages me withing 12 hours. I do hope you guys enjoy, see you at the end of the chapter.

Disbelief, shock, frustration, despair: Silver didn't know what to feel. Watching her float away like that, it felt like a hole was being burned through his chest. Why her? Why did she have to go and not him? It wasn't right. Iblis was supposed to be his burden, not hers. And yet, it would only take her, and as soon as she knew, there was never any hesitation, never a moment of doubt. That was something he had always admired about Blaze. Tears were streaming down his face, he felt so broken; he felt like a failure.

But he knew that he shouldn't think like that, the only reason either of them made it this far was because of him, because of his successes. Destroying monsters time and again, to face down an angry world wasting god as it tore up the land around him. Traveling through time in hopes that there was a solution, only to find that the past isn't something that can be changed. Yet he fought on, standing against mountain sized machines with nothing but his force of will holding him on the spot. But then, she had always been at his side. Pushing him on, picking him up when he fell and motivating him to do better. He couldn't have done it without her…but what was he going to do now?

Silver managed to dry his tears and look around, the sight putting a smile on his face. The clouds were breaking and revealing a bright blue sky, the first time he had ever seen one here. Sunlight began to shine through as well, letting its rays give light for the first time in 200 years. All around him, the rivers of lava began to recede, back underground now that the reason for their unnatural presence was gone. He felt himself beginning to tear up a little again, this was her victory too, one she'd never be able to enjoy.

At his feet, the two gems that had made all this possible, the chaos emeralds, still sat after Blaze had dropped them. Silver picked them up and looked them over once more, admiring the beauty of their craft before placing them into his pack, certain that they would be useful again. Silver took one final look around before turning to head for home.

Crisis city felt different. Without the lava and flames, it just looked like a barren city. The buildings were charred, largely intact and though it would take time, they could rebuild everything that was lost. The future was out there, they just had to take it. That may have been Silver's biggest lesson at the end of it all, everyone was the master of their own fates.

The flight felt much shorter now that Silver didn't have to fight Iblis' demons and he arrived home in minutes. A pair of tall skyscrapers, almost entirely intact. He had lived with a colony of others, about 300 in total. A mix of survivors living day to day lives, never so much as thinking about the next day. Silver was excited, to be able to tell everyone for the first time in 200 years, there would be a tomorrow. Of course, it hadn't come without its costs.

Silver landed near the entrance to the hideout and was greeted by a small group who had come to investigate the sudden appearance of blue sky and sunshine.

"Silver, what happened? Where have you been?" A black fox said.

The black fox was a long time friend of Silver's named Ashe. They were the same age and had known each other since they were babies, bonding over their shared experience of having extraordinary power's. In Ashe's case, it was cryokinesis: the ability to control and generate ice with her mind. When Blaze first came, she was the only other one to reach out to her, though that may have been only because Silver did, or perhaps it was because she understood as well, what it was like to be burdened with such a gift. By the end, it didn't matter, as Ashe was nearly as close to Blaze as she was to Silver.

"It's over Ashe, we did it." Silver replied, embracing his friend in a hug, one that he so desperately needed.

"Where's Blaze? Is she right behind?" Ashe asked, returning the embrace for a moment before separating.

"No." Silver said bleakly, avoiding Ashe's crystal blue eyes.

"She didn't make it?" Another, deeper voice said. Silver turned to face the voice, a red husky named Barroch. Barroch was perhaps the closest thing the group had to a leader. He was much older than Silver and had served as a mentor when Silver and Ashe discovered their powers. He didn't ask because he cared for Blaze, but rather that he cared for Silver.

"No. Our plan was to seal Iblis within my soul, but it wouldn't accept me." Silver explained.

"How did you plan to do that?" Barroch inquired.

"With these." Silver said, taking the chaos emeralds from his pack and showing them to the others.

"These are chaos emeralds, they're incredibly powerful. Through them, we were going to trap Iblis' flames within my soul. It wouldn't accept me as its vessel. But it would accept Blaze...because her soul was already alight with flames."

"Then what happened?" Ashe asked.

"Iblis would only stay bound so long as the bearer never cried. Blaze decided it was too much of a risk, so she asked me to seal her into another dimension with the emerald's power." Silver continued. This garnered raised eyebrows from around the circle.

"I know it sounds crazy, but it happened and it worked. I managed to open a rift and Blaze drifted away with Iblis still bound to her." Silver finished.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Barroch said, placing his hand on Silver's shoulder.

"So what do we do now?" Ashe asked.

"Well, if Iblis is truly gone then for the first time in much too long, there is hope." Barroch said, taking a few steps away from the others, looking out over the now lavaless city. "And we should not squander this chance. There's so much we can do now. And we owe it to you Silver." Barroch finished, the other in the group nodded in agreement. Silver smiled, but was disappointed that the others only gave credit to him.

Blaze had always been an outsider, but he was hoping that just once, they could admit that she saved them. That she gave up everything for people who couldn't even treat her like a person. Ashe placed her hand on Silver's arm, a silent acknowledgement of what he was thinking and an assurance that she did appreciate all that Blaze did.

"We can expand out, maybe get away from this city and see what lies beyond." Silver suggested

"Of course, but this isn't something to discuss now. We should celebrate!" Barroch said, invigorated. People around Silver voiced their agreement with cheer, something Silver wasn't even sure they were even capable of anymore.

Wanting to move on, Silver walked inside and was met by more people who had been anxiously listen from just inside. He gave them a soft smile before one of them stepped up to him, an older fox named Maria, Ashe's mother. She wrapped Silver in a tight hug and whispered a soft "Thank you." Into his ear. She was almost overcome with emotion.

Silver began to move through the crowd, receiving pats on the back and words of gratitude as he did, a hero's welcome. Around him people were hugging and crying, others seemed to still be in disbelief. Silver slipped through, not wishing to linger. In that moment, he just needed to be away from the others.

Silver made his way up into the tower, towards the upper floors where the living area was. He found yet more people who were looking out the windows at the sky. Wanting to remain unseen, Silver continued upward towards the sleeping area, the remnants of offices. Silver made his way down the hall towards his and Blaze's room. Most of the others were uncomfortable around Blaze and they didn't want to give her a room, but Silver insisted she be allowed to sleep in his room.

It was a simple room with two cots. It was apparent whose bed was whose. Blaze's was neatly tucked and folded while Silver's was a mess of blankets more resembling a nest rather than a bed. He sat down and put his face in his palms, letting out a long sigh. It had been a long couple of days without food or sleep. He needed a nap; he wanted to lay down and cry even more, but he quickly realized that he wasn't alone. Standing in the door was Ashe, who had followed him up.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, stepping in with a warm smile on her face.

"It feels like I lost a limb, she was my best friend Ashe. She's gone because I wasn't good enough." Silver said.

"Don't blame yourself Silver, no one else could have done it. And knowing Blaze, she wouldn't have had it any other way." Ashe said, sitting beside him and placing an arm around his shoulder.

"I know, it's just…the shock hasn't worn off yet." Silver said.

"She was my friend too Silver, and I'm gonna miss her. But we can't focus on the past, there's a whole future out there that needs building. No one said it, but doing this…people are going to look to you more than ever for guidance. Anything you say is going to carry a lot of weight." She informed him. Silver nodded in agreement. People had already began to look to him for guidance, even before this whole journey. He wasn't the wisest, but he had a good heart and a strong sense of fairness. He always tried to think of how individuals would be effected when the others would ask for his opinion, and they valued this. It helped keep them focused and honest.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that responsibility. I mean, I'm only 14." Silver said, doubt tainting his voice.

"And you've been through more than anyone else here." Ashe said reassuringly.

"I'm no leader Ashe, I'm too naive." Silver replied.

"That's not a bad thing. It means you never forget about what's important. And I know that there's no one else who loves seeing other people happy more than you do. You're a protector Silver, that's something these people will always need. It was always Blaze's favorite thing about you." Ashe said, lifting Silver's spirits a little. Silver was glad that Ashe was around, it always helped his insecurities.

"We'll have to see. If the others ask for my opinion, I guess I'll have to give it then." Silver said, conceding a little.

"That you will." Ashe said with a smile. There was silence for a moment, Silver wasn't sure what she was waiting for at first, but decided to take a jab at it.

"Do you want to know what happened?" Silver asked.

"I wasn't going to ask. I figured you'd tell me the whole story when you were ready." Ashe replied.

"No, it's fine. I'll probably feel better when I get it off my chest." Silver said. "It's going to sound a little crazy at times."

"Then I'm sure it'll be a great story." Ashe replied.

"Alright, so two days ago I was out on patrol..." Silver began.

3 Hours Later

Silver recounted the story of the last couple days in near perfect detail: from Mephiles to Sonic and Shadow and Amy to their plan to seal Iblis. The memory was still fresh, still burning. Silver was especially critical of his actions, constantly pointing out things he could have done better. Ashe just listened, asking questions when she was lost, offering support when Silver would get hard on himself.

"…and that was it, she was gone." Silver finished.

"That's quite the story Silver." Ashe replied, now standing across the room from Silver, who remained seated on his cot.

"Do you think we did the right thing?" Silver asked.

"You mean, travel back in time to kill someone because a mysterious stranger said it would prevent all this without actually providing any evidence?" Ashe asked. Silver depressed a little, she made it sound kind of bad.

"When you put it that way…"

"I do. I think it was reckless and presumptuous but in the moment, you were both frustrated and emotional. I could see myself doing the same thing. And besides, it all worked out in the end, right?" Ashe continued.

"Almost worked out." Silver said softly.

"Yeah, but you did it, both of you. And because of that, we are all forever in your debt." Ashe said.

"Thanks Ashe." Silver gratefully replied.

"There seems to be one loose end though." Ashe said.

"That being?" Silver asked.

"What happened to Mephiles?" Ashe asked. Something Silver had never considered. Where was Mephiles? The last time Silver had seen him was when he traveled to the past with Shadow and he was sealed into that scepter. But he escaped that, eventually. He must have, because he appeared to Silver and Blaze multiple times. He wanted them to kill Sonic, but why? What was his motive? Whatever it was, it couldn't have been good, that much Silver knew.

"I don't know. I assume he's still out there." Silver replied. "He's got a chaos emerald and knows how to travel through time, so he could be anywhere."

"Do you think he's dangerous?" Ashe asked.

"I'm sure of it. What makes me wonder about him is why?" Silver said. "Why did he want us to kill Sonic? What would he gain from it and why not just do it himself?" Silver wondered out loud.

"You said that Elise was the last vessel for Iblis and that Sonic was the trigger?" Ashe asked.

"That's right! Elise and Sonic were friends and to release Iblis, she have to cry. If I killed Sonic…then maybe that would cause Elise to cry and release Iblis!" It was all so clear to Silver now, the way Mephiles tried to manipulate him, he wanted Iblis to be freed.

"He must have succeeded though." Ashe said.

"What do you mean?" Silver asked.

"Look around you Silver." Ashe said. "Iblis was freed."

"But we sealed him…" Silver trailed off.

"Yes but, what if this could have all been prevented?" Ashe suggested.

"What are you saying Ashe?" Silver asked.

"I'm saying…what if you stop Mephiles?" Ashe replied.

"I-I don't know. I suppose that if Iblis is never released then none of this would have happened." Silver said.

"Do you think you could?" Ashe asked.

"I…don't know. I mean, I don't even know how Sonic died." Silver said.

"Then we find out." Ashe said.

"It's not that simple Ashe. You can't change the past." Silver said.

"Why not?" Ashe asked.

"Because, the past has already happened. Anything you try to go and do has already happened, it won't change anything, because your actions are just a part of it. Even if I were to go and try and stop Iblis' release, I'll fail because the world is still how it is." Silver explained.

"And you just accept that? What about Blaze?" Ashe argued.

"I've seen it Ashe. When Shadow and I traveled further back and seal Iblis and Mephiles: we weren't changing the past, we were a part of it. We always were supposed to go and seal them. And any attempt to go back in time and stop Iblis' release would only end in failure." Ashe looked at Silver in disbelief: she'd never seen him so defeated.

"It doesn't matter." Silver continued "If I'm destined to go back to the past and try and stop Iblis' release, whatever role I play in it, it'll happen. But it's not going to happen now." Silver finished.

"Then I guess that's it." Ashe said, a little saddened. Silver could see the change in his friend's mood. He stood up off the bed and wrapped her in a hug.

"Don't be sad, we've got a whole future out there. Let's focus on that." Silver said reassuringly.

"Yeah, you're right. And whatever it holds, we'll face it together." Ashe replied, sinking a little deeper into the hug. Silver leaned back slightly and looked into Ashe's bright blue eyes. He managed a nervous smile, one that she returned before leaning in close for a kiss, which Silver allowed. For a moment, Silver wasn't sure why he did. Perhaps it was the loss of Blaze and his need to not feel alone or maybe it was brought on by the happiness of their victory. Part of him always knew Ashe felt this way about him, maybe he was just to naive to act on it or maybe it was his feelings for Blaze holding him back. It didn't matter, in that moment, all he could focus on was Ashe and the future he hoped to build with her.

Ok, so that was a lot of dialogue there. I hope you all liked Ashe as well as some of the setup I've made for the world (yes, everyone wears cloths). Now, I'm currently both attending college as well as working campus dining services, so I can make no promise of any kind of update schedule. Though I will try and make efforts to update weekly, I may update sooner or later depending on how my life goes. But, until my next update, I hope you have a wonderful time.