The Dark rippled lazily like the surface of a bog. After a moment, the murk cleared, and the Lost Sinner surged to the surface like a buoy. She stood atop the inky liquid that filled the Lordvessel for a moment, eye closed. When she snapped to awareness, she quickly stepped out of the way.

"Did the attempt succeed?"

Before the confused sorcerers could respond, the Dark began to bubble and pop. A moment later, and it had begun to boil, the carefully filled basin overflowing as the inky substance expanded from heat. The surface of the Dark caught fire like the tars of Black Gulch, filling the laboratory with the smell of burning corpses.

"Uh, guys, gimme a hand?"

Lex had been suspended above the altar by a chain around his ankles. The time limit for using the portal was however long he could go without the blood rushing to his head killing him. Now, he'd bent himself upright and was fumbling to get the chains off before whatever had taken control of the gate emerged.

A broken razor of chitin emerged from the depths of the pool, burning with fury. Black nails dug into the rim of the Lordvessel.

"Lex! You have a great deal of explaining to do!"

"Uh oh. Quick! Somebody get me out of here before she takes me to couple's counseling!"

The old, rusty iron chains held fast. The Dark surged out, pouring over the ritual bindings. Grandahl and the Straids quickly raised barriers with the white glow of humanity in order to keep the toxic sludge from spreading. With a gout of black flame, the humanoid torso of the Chaos Queen emerged from the tar.

"You idiot! How much of your memory did you lose?"

"My memory?"

"You were the one who said it would be a good idea to go to the 'canon' future in order to advance our knowledge of magic and procure the Crowns of immortality! More importantly, even if you thought you were stranded, how could you not contact me? The rings work even across time, you idiot!"

"Why didn't you try calling me?"

"I…"

"Someone's a tsundere! Tsk tsk. Calling me a baka."

"You listen-!"

She tried to grab hold of him, but he swung out of her reach. The Queen grunted rather un-royally and tried to pull herself further out of the portal. Unfortunately, there was simply no way that her spider half was going to fit through the aperture of the Lordvessel.

"Ha! Your butt's too big! It's okay. I like big butts, and I cannot lie."

"No! You are not starting that again!"

"Okay, fine. Say, Laag, while you're stuck there, can you have someone throw Manus' pendant through the portal? We're trying to keep the First Flame lit over here, and since this is a different timeline, that means our Izalith isn't tapping the humanity in Oolacile. We can just cheat and reuse the same power source."

"That is the first thing you have to say to me?"

Still swinging on the chain, Lex rolled his hips so that he nearly crashed into her.

"Well, I know that you love to get right to business, but if you insist… Cue the rain! I'm going Tobey Maguire!"

Still upside-down, he gently pulled himself forward before settling into a deep kiss. Quelaag didn't let go of her anger but channeled it into the kiss, pushing him back. After several seconds, she bit his lip sharply and pulled back.

"Ow, god. Ow."

Lex dabbed at his lip rather pathetically. Quelaag dipped some in the Lordvessel, reaching down into the tar. When she rose again, she had Manus' pendant of stone and vine.

"Wait, how?"

"Remember that you can also use the ring, dear."

"Hello, brother," the Fair Lady said telepathically.

"Oh, hi, Laav. Wow, this is awkward. Wait, why didn't the ring work at first, then?"

"Feeble cursed one! The answer is obvious – whatever magic you are using has been restored while the connection is open! It will no doubt be broken once more when it closes."

Lex looked at his wife rather pointedly.

"Oh, 'the ring works across time, idiot,' was it? I'm getting payback for this later. We need to connect the bonfire systems, then. That should provide a constant link. And then we'd have two First Flames working in tandem. Per Engel's Law, that would give us an overall boost. Though that's probably just BS because economics and magical fire don't have anything to do with one another."

He took the pendant and tossed it to Grandahl.

"Yo, that's the prized possession of the Father of the Abyss. You can go back to the time of his death by using it as the focus. Though you also risk having him reach out for it through time."

"Something so precious…" Grandahl whispered.

"Right, so somebody go pester Raime for a coiled sword."

As he was giving orders, he was attempting to saw through the chains with Quelaag's Furysword. She scowled and made a quick cutting motion with her hand. A quick swipe did indeed cut through them at once, the broken links plopping into the tar. The demon caught him as he fell, giving him a quick but brutal squeeze before setting him upright on the edge of the Lordvessel.

"Anyway, I'll go ahead and get things finished up here, Laag. You've got lots of new subjects."

"Oh, you know just what a girl wants."

"Right, so ladies and gentlemen and evil lizard ghost: presenting Her Majesty, the Queen of Izalith and Lord of Life, your future ruler, Quelaag."

She waved her sword theatrically. Rosabeth bowed, but none of the others looked away from their work.

"Why must sorcerers always be like this?" Quelaag sighed.

That said, Vendrick did take a knee in spite of Nashandra trying to stop him.

"Your Majesty, I owe a great deal to your husband. I look forward to working with you in restoring this wasted land. Please, take these as a sign of Drangleic's allegiance… and that my fellows and myself – the Four Kings, as you would know us."

He had kept the Lost Crowns in a leather bag on his belt, but now he drew the artifacts and presented them to the Demon Queen. By now, his own Queen had given up on trying to stop him and stood apart with her arms crossed.

"Izalith accepts this token, Vendrick of Drangleic. The Lord of Sunlight once granted you a soul for your wisdom. It is good to see that wisdom has returned. I look forward to what it can bring my empire."

She took the Crowns and lowered them toward the tar. Hideous, broken, and double-jointed spider's legs reached up to take them.

"I look forward to meeting you all again soon. For now, I will leave my consort with the task of establishing a gateway large enough to march my forces through."

"Honey, we don't really have forces. Maybe a black ops team."

"If you must be pedantic, then fine. Large enough for my brother to pass. Surely, he's worth a regiment at least."

Of course, there could only be one suitable location.

Oh, the Fire is slowly dyin'

And my dear, we're still goodbye-in'

But as long as you'd love me so

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Eleum Loyce had been constructed as a last, desperate hold against the Chaos which had sprung up in the utmost north. With the last vestiges of the seedless, barren Bed cast into the deepest caverns beneath the earth, it had seemed the city's purpose had ended. Only now, the fearless Fume Knight, master of the iron forges of Brume, had dredged it up again. The Ivory King, the Silent Oracle, and the Lost Sinner – the last survivors of the corruption – looked on grimly while the mad Royal Sorcerer Navlaan churned the magma. Even in chains, he was dangerous, and none of the three would dare risk an outbreak.

Several iterations of the black sorcerer Straid, each with a different beard style, stood at the ready to contain anything that the cancerous well of Life might produce. The remainder of the sorcerers worked at performing final checks on the mystical calculations which would link two worlds. The techniques used in the development of the small-scale portal had been upscaled through the use of Seath's crystals. The single, hooked obelisk cast strange shadows between the cold winter sun streaming through the stained glass windows of the cathedral and the churning magma below.

"Young Monarch, you may begin when ready," Grandahl said solemnly.

The Chaos Lord made a single heartful strum on his guitar. A flurry of quick strokes followed. Three rising strokes, then another flurry. The pattern repeated itself three times, an arcane number.

Guess who just got back today?

Them wild-eyed boys that had been away.

The mad runes of Chaos shone across the archway as a heat haze blurred the lines between one world and the next. Flares shot wildly from the pit below. The inhabitants of Majula, officially pledged to the Empire of Izalith by Mayor Saulden, had all gathered at a safe distance. The Rat King and a vanguard had ventured from their allied underground kingdom to witness the moment Izalith grew from a city-state to the beginnings of a wide-spanning empire. Shulva, Heide, Alken, Venn, Loyce, Drangleic: the last remnants of the kingdoms which had once stood on this spot had all sworn alliance to ancient Izalith.

The boys are back in town!

They were all charmed when they first saw her, the Demon Queen, now their ruler or ally. She emerged from shimmering air first, walking over the pit on a bridge of flame. She was dressed for once, wearing a thin gown of spider's silk blackened with soot and hemmed with gold. Only, as she came further into view, they saw her monstrous form.

The boys are back in town!

Following after her was another demon, all in white and with six burning wings. A pair of witches followed, and a knight bound in thorns, and a pair of pyromancers with mad gleams in their eyes, and a skeleton with a beard. After a moment's pause, a hideous mass of lava with eyes, legs, and tentacles emerged. Cale the Cartographer fainted.

I said, the boys are back in town!

The Fume Knight and the Baneful Queen had learned a fondness of industry from the Old Iron King. They had learned how to build crude works of machinery and to operate the grand forges. Now, they looked on as chattering lunatic in a cage commanded a fleet of misshapen golems that were somehow infinitely more sophisticated than anything the old King had produced. A golem-knight with wings of Black Iron stood proudly, marching with a grace and power that belittled even the Smelter Demons.

The boys are back in town!

The Blue Sentinels had come to gather intelligence as much as anything else. They had maintained their independence for centuries after the fall of Heide as a nation. Now, it had seemed there was no choice but to join in the growing alliance. Only, the men of faith were shocked to see how very real their gods were. The Dark Sun led the Four Knights after the demons, seemingly without care. It was all the captain Targray could do to hold the Old Dragonslayer from leaping down to greet the inspiration for his order.

I said, the boys are back in town!

The chief Gravekeeper, Agdayne, had journeyed far from the Undead Crypt to bear witness to the coming of Life's rulers. Only, he beheld Death following them. The First of the Dead and his killing miasma darkened even the hateful light of Chaos as he oozed out from the portal. At his side was his bride, unliving and undying, surrounded by countless dead children, sacrificed to the gods.

The boys are back in town!

After such prestigious procession, one would hardly think to examine the mere mortals following. Yet for Melfian sorcerers, nothing could be more amazing than to see the legendary Big Hat stride forth, flanked by two of the ancient Sealers.

The boys are back in town!

Even Straid took pause as a stone dragon somehow forced its way through the gate. Magerold nearly shrieked in ecstasy.

The boys are back in town!

The hexers knew they would not find their Lord passing through that gate, but it was enough to see it work. To see the Wolf Knight who had fallen. To see the way the shadows bent about the warped flame and to see the light wither in the presence of the Gravelord.

The boys are back in town again.

Been hangin' down at Nito's.

Lex stood on a ledge which had formed as vines wrapped around a broken branch of the great tree and begun to collect debris falling from above. The whole collection of plant fiber, dead bugs, and dirt was now packed tightly enough that it practically felt like solid ground. It was here that a pair of talking crow children sat in a comfortable nest. No sign of the parent birds could be found, but the nest was overflowing with random junk which had been used in its construction.

"You! You! Give us smooth!"

"Yes! You! Give us silky!"

There was no telling how long they had pestered lost Undead for items of that nebulous description. They seemed to be fond of stones of various types and were willing to trade quite rare items for fossils which may have been remnants of ancient dragons. The Chosen Undead scratched his chin.

"Hey, Laav."

"Hello, brother. What is it that you need?"

"Now, what was it that you'd said you really admired about Quelaag's appearance?"

"Oh, sister has always cared deeply about her appearance. But when I was lost in my fever dreams, dying of the blight, I longed to see her beautiful, silky face just one more time."

"Right, that's what I thought. Thanks."

He paused to consider the consequences – but not too long.

"Hey, Laag, could you come over to the Things Betwixt bonfire? There's something I need your help with."